by Nini Church
“Always. I know it’s a lot to ask, but can you trust me for a little bit?”
Aili tried for a smile but it slid into a grimace, revealing to Reno the effort she was making. It reminded him of that hideous sensation of bits and pieces of him floating away in the Fade and gobbled up by the dense, gray fog shrouding and dogging his every step. He couldn’t begin to imagine what happened to his mate, what she may have lost unprotected in the Fade.
His heart cried out at the bits and pieces of his Aili that might have been eaten by that ghostly fog. Reno cringed, his heart breaking – not for himself, but for Aili and the loss of her potential. That blew him sideways and he vowed to do everything possible to help her find her way back. To him.
Reno snuggled Aili close as he lifted her off the bed, heading for the bathroom, refusing to put her down until the two of them were in the tub naked. Taps on full blast, the tub filled quickly. The scent of herbs, verbena, lemon balm and earthy mug wort were meant to ground and he wanted that for Aili. Just a chance to know and sense he was right here with her. They needed to connect and it had to happen now before she slipped further away from him.
“Look at me, mo leannan.” Reno stepped into the tub and sank into the hot water, keeping Aili firmly in his arms and nestled in his lap. Her eyes were the windows to her world right now. When Aili looked up at him, he was filled with gratitude that they weren’t glossy, empty or glazed. A good sign and he was running with it.
Unexpectedly, Aili shifted to the side, sliding out of Reno’s lap, as water slurped around them. Face to face, she vehemently stated, “I need you. I want you. If this is real, I want sex right now. Maybe it’ll ground me. Can we? Huh?”
A big, white grin spread his “You up to this, mo leannan?”
“Anchor me, mate. Help me to stay here with you even if it isn’t real.” Aili took a deep breath, “I think I need to heal for a while, but right now I need you more.”
Reno reached in, both hands cupping her head, capturing her lips, they didn’t need any more words. He loved her slowly and his Aili stayed right with him, the big white diamond slapping both their chests as he thrust into her, long hard strokes until she came around his cock twice. Only then did he let go, filling her with his hot juices as her muscles milked him.
Throughout, he watched her closely, knowing her eyes were the window to her world. “Better now?”
Aili giggled.
That was all the answer he needed.
They held each other until the water turned cold and her stomach growled.
Back in bed, Aili looked much better, her skin glowing and he had made her laugh. That lifted his spirits and his heart.
Fifi brought up a tray, setting it at the end of the bed and fussing over Aili after plumping her pillows.
At one point, Reno noticed Aili’s eyes briefly glazing over after Fifi asked her a question. When that empty glaze disappeared quickly and Aili answered Fifi, he took that as a good sign too.
Maybe shit was really turning around. Reno didn’t question it – he’d lived too long, had too many bad experiences, knew that life threw wicked curve balls at the best of the best. Aili was all that and more in his eyes.
Reno grinned, watching Aili gobble up everything on the tray and never once offering him a taste – not even a bite. Didn’t matter. It was all about Aili. Bottom line – if Aili was good, Reno was good.
“Mo leannan, talk to me. What’s your biggest struggle right now?”
“Knowing what’s real. I can’t seem to distinguish what’s real and isn’t. It’s almost like the part of me that knows the difference isn’t working. I know that sounds weird. But, to me tis scary and frightening so I just withdraw.”
“Withdraw? Where to?”
Aili shrugged, crunching on an apple slice. “It’s blank…there’s nothing there. I canna really explain it. I call it Nothingness.”
Reno slipped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. “It’s all good. Now that you’re home we can help by giving you reality checks. We can even use a special code when you’re really not sure what’s real.”
“Reno! That’s a cool idea.”
“Not mine. Jericho came up with the idea and it worked great when we used it with Rad after we rescued him.”
Aili winced. “How about Rock? As in Rock–you–know–who.” Full of joy, it delighted her to tease Reno as if all was normal between them. It surely wasn’t and she knew it, but her mate didn’t. Yet. She kept her smile and looked up at her male.
Thrilled by her easy recall of the fun part of their intimacy, he chuckled and nuzzled his nose in her damp hair. “Nah, it’s gotta be something everyone can use. Not fair to bring them into the whole Lady Bits and Rock Hard set up.”
Aili sniggered, knowing it was true. “Okay, so let’s go with…”
“Strawberry,” Reno inserted. “Simple, easy to remember and not said that often. Besides it goes with your hair – rich and red.”
“Agreed. What do we do if I forget it?”
“Mo leannan, no pressure here. One step at a time. Slow and steady is sure and well done.” Reno smiled gently – it was an adage that his granddad had drilled into him and, in truth, one that had saved his life a time or two when he normally would’ve rushed headlong into a bad situation.
Aili’s eyes closed as he eased her down in the bed, kissing the tip of her nose when she said, “Stay with me as long as you can, Reno. Please. I don’t want to die alone.”
A cold wind swept up his back as realization dawned. Aili still believed she was imagining all of this. Would she even remember making love? His mind turned to possibilities and Rad was his first option. After he tucked Aili in and she went to sleep, Reno slid out of bed, whistling a low signal as he softly closed the bedroom door behind him.
Zulu was on it as he ran into the long hallway.
“It’s cool. Aili’s finally sleeping. I need to talk to Rad.”
“Don’t know where he is. Downstairs?” Zulu moved closer, the beads woven into the fine hairs at his temples clacking loudly as he shifted to stand in front of the bedroom door. “I’ll keep five on Aili for you.”
Reno quirked a brow at Zulu. “It’s six, man. Keep six.”
When Zulu smiled widely and chuffed out his chest, it was obvious he had been teasing.
Reno shook his head and headed out to find Rad. He could be anywhere, holed up in his room or a corner with his back to it. Rad was still volatile, but Reno knew he was the only one who perhaps had viable insights into what might be going on for Aili.
The two warriors settled into the great room, near the front staircase so Reno could monitor the comings and goings upstairs.
Reno was on fucking edge – afraid for the first time in his life – that shit was gonna go south fast. Either Aili would heal or not. And, he wasn’t going to think about the Not part.
“Aili?” Rad studied Reno – a well–built, skilled warrior, a natural born leader and a fair hand at much he touched. A killer too, no doubt about it, but now Rad saw the vulnerable male underneath all Reno’s Hollywood machismo and that male was raw and driven with desperation – to find the answers to heal his mate. Dark circles under Reno’s eyes told a bit of the story, yet it was his haunted blue eyes that gave away the sheer torture he was experiencing. Reno was on the cusp of losing everything he ever wished for or dreamed about. Just like every Jinn male – against the odds, but hoping to make that connection with their natural mates.
He and Reno had known each other a long time – very long and Rad would swear he’d never seen his friend so weary, so worn down, so on the fucking edge of defeat. That had to stop right now. Reno needed to get his shit and fucking keep it wired tight. Rad suspected if what happened to Aili was torturing Reno now, it would only continue to haunt him in the future.
“Bro, I’m gonna be fucking frank with you. Get a grip, man. You get your shit. Wire it fucking tight and keep doing it if you have to. You put all you fears and messy shit s
omewhere else, you wire it, man – in a fucking cage. You know how, Reno. We’ve both done it a trillion times or two. What’s happening now is much like battle and I won’t ever see you go into battle unprepared. Hear me, friend.”
Reno wanted to argue, but shrugged, knowing Rad was fucking on target with his advice. If his shit was loose and uncontrollable, he’d never be able to help Aili. Strength was the start of winning any battle and Reno had it in spades. Except terror and fear at losing Aili – along with a huge dose of wanting revenge against Fate – clouded his shit.
He sat quietly, admitting he had veered way off course – his skills, training and years of experience tossed to the side without a care – leaving him adrift. A fucking hell of a bad place for a warrior like Reno. “I’ll get my shit.”
“Bro, what can I do to help? Just say the word, man, and you got it.”
“You gotta give me some idea about what’s happening for her, Rad. I know she’s still traumatized and needs a lot of healing, but…fuck, man. I thought she was with me, and then she said something that totally revealed she didn’t believe it was actually happening. She thinks she’s making it, us, this all up.” Reno waved a big paw in the air.
Rad nodded knowingly. “First, its gonna take time and work. Aili has too much going on right now. Ease back. I know her and me are nothing alike, but when shit happens to you on a deep level, well, it fucks you up bad. You know this, my friend. I’m living proof. For Aili, she needs time and anchors to keep her in the here and now.
“She’s a smart female, a brilliant doctor and has a mind like a steel trap. This, I don’t need to tell you. But, rest assured, I bet she’s starting to maybe see the differences like I did and there’s one thing she’ll quickly realize – Here and now is way better than where she was.”
“So, what you’re saying is – give her a chance?”
“I’m saying that she’s got one hell of a road ahead of her. Cal and Conn shared with me and Jericho what happened to them in the Fade. What it felt like, how draining it was. Wasn’t good, man. None of it.”
Reno hung his head, hands clasped between his open knees.
Rarely did Reno ever show any kind of vulnerability and Rad slid his hand onto Reno’s shoulder, gripping it tightly. “There are other things you’re not seeing cause your focus is where it should be. Me, I notice shit. Now, I study everybody. And, here’s the deal – Met doesn’t seem to be overly worried about Aili.”
Reno twisted his head to the side, his muddied blue eyes hard.
Rad nodded. “Sure, he’s concerned about her, but when I asked him directly – being a fucking God and all – if there was real danger for Aili, Met said, Time will tell. When I asked Abe, she translated it as Met giving a thumbs up. So, I’ve hooked into that kind of thinking.”
“I suspect you’ve noticed more than that. Give it all to me, Rad.”
“Uh, I also noticed Abe isn’t sneaking around like usual, trying to drag a Healer to the compound to heal Aili. Our Queen trusts Bethany completely. Which brings me to my final point. Bethany Mithrail is the best Healer for Aili. They have blood together. Thany’s tenacious, pig–headed and a control freak who speaks her mind freely. She isn’t going anywhere until Aili is on an even footing. That speaks volumes to me. It’s almost a fucking guarantee that Aili will heal with time.”
Rad’s dark eyes didn't shift away from Reno. “I’m sorry, bro, but right now your Aili’s damaged. An’ it’s gonna take time for that to repair where she can knit her shit back together, stitch by fucking stitch, brother. Like me, maybe Aili will always have certain triggers that’ll pull her back into that hell. Abe taught me and now I know there’s a way to learn how to work through it.”
Reno ran both hands over his face. He had walked the walk with Rad, been there from the beginning of his rescue and admired how hard Rad worked to keep it together those first few months. Often, he’d disappear, the world too much for him and they’d find him hiding in the most impossible places like wedged under the kitchen sink. Try that with a two hundred pounder, all skin and bones.
Was Aili going to be like that? Spooked by everything? How would she survive it? What about her passion as a doctor? How could she function? “I’ve gotta talk to Thany. She said what Aili lost might have been captured by the diamond. So, I’m hoping nothing was really lost at all.” He couldn’t fathom the ramifications…the end result for Aili. Reno’s brain burned and worst by far beneath it all in the centre of his soul he felt defeat creeping in.
Sticking with a fist full of denial that defeat was anywhere near him, Reno turned to his own needs. First, what he wanted, what his mind and body craved was an outlet – somewhere, someplace, someone to dump his shit on. Work it the fuck through and get rid of it.
After that, he’d get his shit ‘n wire it tight.
Rad smiled. “We’re on wait–and–see–watch, my friend.”
“Thanks, man. Think I’m gonna be leaning on you more than you might like so I’m puttin’ it out there right now.”
Rad stood. “Whatever it takes.”
The two big warriors stood face to face, forearms clasped in the age old gesture of friendship.
Chapter 17
Reno broke every fucking rule he swore an oath to uphold. Nothing really mattered in this fucking second and he knew he was AWOL – outta fucking bounds and ready to rumble.
Enraged, he trolled the darkened streets of Bellsville, amazed that shit wasn’t popping up to give him a little run for his rage.
At this point – anything, anyone would do.
He’d left the compound to get away, take some time to blow off his shit. Alone. Although, he kept a tight hold on his rage and wanted to kill Fate – didn’t fucking matter that Met had banished her – his control was slipping and his molten rage winning.
Reno knew he wasn’t safe around others and also exactly what he needed to dial his spiraling rage back. Violence – blood and gore. Killing the enemy was his mission – kill and destroy.
Stone cold now, he buried his troubles deep along with his thirst for revenge. Fate was a marked entity in his books and he wasn’t going to cross her name off until he’d extinguished her. Within Reno, a cauldron seethed and bubbled at what had been done to his beautiful and gifted Aili.
Someone or something was gonna help him with his rage and angst.
Tonight.
In the kitchen, standing in the doorway to downstairs, Zulu whistled three times, short and sharp. Reno hadn’t returned to the bedroom. Zu had asked Matty to sit with Aili while he went in search of him.
“On it,” Cal called out. “Command Center Stat!” Cal said over the house speakers.
Rad came at a run, hitting the back stairs and flying down.
Conn was next as Jericho roared in last.
“Gone, man.” Zulu waved his hand in the air.
Rad quirked a heavy brow, clueless as to why Zulu used the grave urgency signal.
“Zu?” Jericho waited, his gut twisted in knots. Where the fuck was Reno? Why hadn’t he heard the signal? He had looked for his Second–in–Command and hadn’t found him. If Reno was with Aili now, he wouldn’t fault him for that.
“Hollywood’s gone. Maybe minutes,” Zulu tilted his head, “maybe hours.”
Jericho gaped at Zulu, not believing Reno might have gone AWOL. Away without leave and no permission from him.
Cal added, “Boss, I’m checking the house and perimeter, but so far I’m not picking up his heat signature.” Cal tapped his roid and sighed regretfully. “Shit, he isn’t in the compound. Anymore.”
Jericho’s fists shot to his hips as he paced back and forth. Fuck, why hadn’t he seen this coming? Reno hadn’t let on how bad the whole shit with Aili was for him. Obviously, it was tearing him apart inside. Uh, huh, what was burning below the surface, his Second–in–Command hid very well. A true tell that Reno was intent on whatever mission he was on. On his fucking own. Not gonna happen. “We’re goin’ after him.”
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nbsp; “Mebe stay in the background, like?” Conn quirked a shaggy brow. If they interfered, forcing Reno back to the compound, t’wouldn’t do him much good. He obviously needed to blow off steam – by himself – in a big fecking way.
“I’ll decide once I lay eyes on him. Dress out. Ready in five.” Jericho buckled a heavy leather holster loaded with a 500KL9 Rorschart to his waist and knotted the leather strap around his right thigh. Slung low on his hip, the specialized gun felt awkward and heavy, but it was a necessary evil when warriors like Reno went AWOL.
Jericho had no intention of using it on Reno, but would fucking take down anyone going near his Second–in–Command. That was his intent in arming himself – a move he rarely took.
The warriors ghosted, Jericho, Conn and Zulu, leaving Rad on patrol inside the house and Cal monitoring the compound.
Reno spotted shifting shadows in a dark alley as his senses were swarmed by evil, nasty energy. He slid into the darkness and swiftly moved to the back where two males were feeding on what once had been one of the races.
With not much left, it was hard to identify if it was female or male as these two newly turned Grunts – full of Vamp maggots and always hungry as hell – had already eaten most of the face and front of the body away – going for the tastiest bits first.
He hawked his throat and spit loudly on the cobblestones in front of him.
Covered in blood and mouths dripping with it, they swung around, eyeing the big male. Was he more dinner?
No hesitation on Reno’s part – he grabbed each by the head, cupping them in his hands and twisting harshly, snapping both their necks. It wouldn’t kill them, but incapacitate them for him to begin his work.
A razor sharp edge of one fingernail was used to make the first long slit to both their throats.
Black, sour smelling blood spilled as Reno hunched down, waves of it spreading around his nut brown shit–kickers. Short blades now cupped in both palms, he cut their necks over and again until there wasn’t any more blood left to spill. Vamp maggots converged on the blood, sucking the cobblestones dry before seeking out another host. Any host.