by Annie Rains
“Barnaby, get down.” Emma scolded her little dog because he had immediately latched on to Jack’s leg.
Jack didn’t seem to mind. He took a moment to pick Barnaby up and lift him eye-to-eye.
“Watch out—” Emma started to warn, but it was too late. Barnaby lapped a tongue across Jack’s cheek, leaving a shiny trail of drool. Emma’s face contorted into a grimace.
“Whoa, you’re a fast one, aren’t you?” Jack laughed, and set Barnaby back on the floor.
“He’s generous with his kisses,” she said like she would to any of her friends. But using the word kiss around Jack made the space between them crackle. “Um, the bathroom is down the hall if you want to wash that off. And the bed is in the guest room,” she said. “You can take it for as long as you need. I rarely have guests, and if I do, they can take the couch or I’ll use the air mattress.”
“Thanks, Em.” Jack gestured to the bathroom. “I’ll just be a quick second and meet you in the guest room.”
She nodded and headed down the hall without him. A moment later, he appeared in the doorway.
“I can help you load it onto your truck if you want,” she offered.
“Nah. I can get it.”
She tilted her head. “I’m not sure how you survive with all that alpha-ness going to your head. But fine. I’ll go get dinner started.”
“I get dinner too?” he asked, a light shining behind his eyes.
Her lips parted. That wasn’t intended to be an invitation. Her plan was to get rid of him as soon as possible. “Well, what I have isn’t much. Just a frozen pizza.”
“Sounds perfect. You promised me lemonade at the café, but we got distracted,” he pointed out.
Well, she guessed that was true enough. “I have lemonade in the fridge.”
“I’ll load the bed, and then we’ll have pizza and lemonade. Maybe you can help me figure out what to do with Sam while he’s here. And I can help you with that box I brought you this morning.”
She hesitated. “I might need something stronger than lemonade for that.”
“I’ll stick to the lemonade,” he said.
Something pulled in her gut the way it sometimes did when she was with Jack. Once upon a time, he’d enjoyed a beer or two, or even more than that. Then he’d casually started saying he wasn’t in the mood. He’d order a soda instead or offer to be the designated driver. She hadn’t thought anything of it at first, but after a while, she’d started to wonder. Why didn’t Jack drink anymore? He hadn’t just cut back. He’d stopped altogether.
“Pizza will be ready in twenty minutes,” she said, turning away. “Let me know if you change your mind and decide to let me help.”
He chuckled behind her. “Let me know when the food is ready, and I’ll head to the table.”
Emma walked into the kitchen, surprised that her dog chose to stay with Jack. Traitor. Then she got to work preparing dinner. She’d almost forgotten Jack was even here until he walked past her to the sink and washed his hands.
“Smells good, and I have to admit, I’m starving,” he said.
An awareness buzzed through her. Through the window, she could see that the sun was down and it was dark outside. Fireflies started twinkling in the air, lighting up just like her own body when Jack was in proximity.
“Want me to pour you that glass of wine?” he asked, opening her fridge door.
“That’d be great. Sure you won’t have a glass?”
“No, thanks. I’ve been dreaming of that lemonade for the last hour and a half.”
“It’s in the glass pitcher. Help yourself.”
She pulled the pizza out of the oven and then grabbed some dishes from the cabinet. They both worked together to get the food and drinks on the table and then sat down.
She took a bite of her pizza, careful not to let the cheese string messily.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Jack lift a piece of pizza to his mouth too. “Kind of feels like a date, doesn’t it?” he asked.
She coughed and then choked on her bite of pizza. “What?” she said when she could finally breathe again.
He looked at her with momentary concern as she reached for her glass of wine. “I just mean it feels that way. Not that it is.”
She had difficulty taking in a full breath. “Why would it feel that way? We’ve eaten dinner before.”
He shrugged broad shoulders. “I don’t know. Honestly, it’s been so long since I’ve been out with a woman, I don’t even know what a date feels like anymore.” He chuckled to himself.
“Me either.”
Jack looked at her for a long second as if he might say something more. Why had he stood her up for prom, just when they were getting close? Why had he never shown interest in her ever again? She’d been halfway to being in love with him, and her senior prom was going to be the best night of her life. Instead, it’d been one of the worst.
His cell phone rang, and Barnaby pounced toward the noise, barking loudly. One shush from Emma silenced him. Jack chuckled as he shifted to pull the phone out of his pocket and glanced at the screen. “It’s my sister. I better take this.”
Emma nodded, relieved when he stepped away from the table. She closed her eyes for a long moment. Jack wasn’t into her that way. The way she was into him. She was thirty years old. It was time for her to move on.
Barnaby announced Jack’s presence as he stepped back into the room. “Hey, I’m sorry, Em. I have to go.”
“Is Amanda okay?” she asked. She could already tell by the look on his face that she wasn’t.
“I don’t think so. She needs me to come get Sam tonight. It’s a two-hour drive so I better get going.”
Emma frowned. “That’s four hours round trip. You’ll be driving through the night. Can’t this wait until tomorrow?”
Jack shook his head. “Amanda is addicted to a prescription drug she was on last year. She’s trying to come off it, but she’s having withdrawal symptoms. A friend of hers is going to stay with her tonight and drive her to a substance abuse facility tomorrow. But she doesn’t want Sam to see her like this.”
Emma took a breath. “Poor Amanda. Poor Sam…I’m coming with you.” She pushed back from the table.
Jack looked surprised by her offer. “You don’t have to do that. Barnaby needs you here, and I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure you will. But just in case you’re not, I’ll be there.” She grabbed her purse and headed toward the door, not giving him time to argue or herself time to second-guess. Barnaby followed behind her, apparently set on coming as well. “That’s what friends do,” Emma called over her shoulder.
Chapter Four
Jack wasn’t sure what kind of help Emma thought she was giving him right now. She’d fallen asleep thirty minutes after leaving Sweetwater Springs, with Barnaby snoring softly in her lap, and hadn’t stirred in the almost two hours since.
He chuckled to himself and sang along to country music on the radio. If Emma were awake, she’d protest. She was a girl who liked her soft rock.
Turning onto his sister’s road, his good mood belly flopped as he pondered the reason he was in his truck. Amanda had followed their family’s pattern of addiction. Jack understood why she wouldn’t want Sam to know. Jack’s perception of his father had changed as he grew up, watching him get drunk night after night. His father, who had once been a hero in Jack’s eyes, was now just a guy who could keep it together long enough to make it to work sober. Soon as he left his job, it was him and the bottle. Nothing and no one else mattered, including his family.
Jack’s foot lifted off the gas pedal, slowing and giving himself a chance to collect himself. He pulled into the driveway and glanced across the seat at Emma. She didn’t move. As Jack stepped out of the truck, the front door of his sister’s house opened, and Amanda headed down the steps to meet him. He could tell she was exhausted just by the way she carried herself, hands hanging at her sides and her feet dragging as she walked slowly toward him.
&n
bsp; “Thanks for coming,” she said in a barely audible voice.
Jack gave her a once-over. “You okay?”
She nodded, although she looked pale and shaky. Her eyes were bloodshot, and there were dark shadows underscoring and competing with their blue color. “I will be. Sam thinks I have the flu and that I don’t want him to catch it.”
Jack frowned. “It’s not flu season.”
“He’s fifteen years old. His brain is too busy thinking about girls than whether his mother is telling the truth.” She laughed softly. “I told him I’m going away with my boyfriend once I’m feeling better.”
“Boyfriend?” Jack asked.
She held up a hand. “It’s not the time for the overprotective brother act,” she said wearily. “Sam is looking forward to staying with you on the lake.”
Jack was looking forward to that as well, even though he wasn’t thrilled about the reason. “Are you sure you’ll be okay tonight?”
Amanda nodded. “My friend is inside. As soon as the doors open at the addiction facility tomorrow, she’ll drive me there and I’ll check myself in. I don’t want to be like this. I want to be a good mom for my son.”
“I have no doubt that you are.”
“Thank you, Jackie.” Amanda gave him a hug and then gasped softly as she looked past him at the passenger seat of his truck. She pulled back to look at him. “Is that Emma St. James?”
“The one and only.”
She covered her mouth with one hand, her eyes gone wide as she looked at him again. “I always knew you two would get together. It’s about time.”
“Actually, Emma just came along to make sure I didn’t fall asleep at the wheel.” He chuckled. “Good thing she wasn’t driving.”
Amanda’s color seemed to improve. Even her posture was more upright. “This is awesome. I honestly felt kind of bad putting Sam on your plate. I mean, I don’t want to cramp your bachelor’s lifestyle.”
He scoffed at that idea. “Oh, yeah. I’ll have to cut back on the nightly parties I throw at the cabin,” he said sarcastically.
She laughed quietly. “I am so proud of you, Jack. You have your life together, and you’re finally with someone who will make you happy. That’s incredible considering where we came from.”
Had she not heard him when he told her he and Emma weren’t a couple? “Emma and I were having dinner when you called. She wanted to come along and help,” he said, trying to paint a clearer picture.
Amanda gestured at the passenger seat. “This gives me hope that you and I can be more than our pasts. That history isn’t destined to repeat itself.”
Jack frowned as he pulled back to get a better look at his sister. “Of course it isn’t. Is that what you thought? That what’s happening to you is because of Dad? You’re not like him, Amanda. The doctors prescribed you pain medication that you needed at the time. Things may have gotten a little out of hand, but it’s not your fault and you’re getting help. So, no, history isn’t destined to repeat itself.”
Her eyes grew shiny as she listened. Then she looked down at her feet for a long moment. He hoped she wasn’t crying. “Sam’s not easy,” she finally said, looking up again. Her eyes were dry. “He’ll try to get away with things.”
“I don’t want you worrying about anything except feeling better, okay? Sam will be fine with me.”
“With you and Emma,” she said. Then her smile fell away, and she looked like she might get sick.
“Amanda? You okay?”
She waved off his concern with a hand. “Not really. I’ll just tell Sam that you’re here.” She turned and headed back toward the house, leaving Jack standing at his truck. He glanced back at Emma, sleeping peacefully with her face pressed against the window. His heart squeezed, almost painfully.
“Hey, Uncle Jack.” Sam came out of the house, carrying an overnight bag on each shoulder.
“Hey, bud. Where’s your mom?” Jack asked.
Sam shrugged lanky shoulders. “Tossing cookies in the toilet. She’s got the flu.”
Jack looked down at his feet. “Yeah, she told me.” He took Sam’s bags and put them in the back seat. “Sorry to make you sit in the back. I don’t want to wake Sleeping Beauty and her tiny beast over there.”
Sam grinned, revealing a mouthful of braces. He still had that awkward look that Jack remembered from the last time he’d seen his nephew. The one teens got when they were still growing into their bodies. “Is that the coffee shop lady?”
“Yeah. Emma.”
Sam climbed into the back seat and shut the door behind him. Jack got behind the wheel.
“I remember you flirting with her when I came to visit at Christmas. So she’s your girlfriend now?”
Jack looked at Sam in the rearview mirror. “Where would you get that idea?”
“Mom said you had your girlfriend in the truck and that I shouldn’t wake her.”
Jack focused his gaze forward. If he corrected his nephew, Sam would correct Amanda next time they were on the phone together. For some reason, Jack’s sister said it gave her hope to see him and Emma together. He couldn’t just snatch that hope away from someone who seemed to be in short supply, could he?
Sam stirred quietly in the back seat. “Mom has been seeing someone too, you know.”
“Yeah? Do you like him?” Jack asked.
Sam grunted. “I guess so. He’s the reason I can’t go home once her flu is gone. He wants my mom for himself and probably wants me out of the way.”
Jack wished he could set Sam straight. It wasn’t Jack’s story to tell though. If Amanda wanted Sam to have a carefree summer, then that’s what Jack would give him. “Your mom would never choose a boyfriend over you.”
“Well, she kind of did. Anyway, she’ll still be running my life even with two hours between us. She told me I had to check in with her every day and tell her every detail of what’s going on. So in a way, I guess she’ll be running your life too.”
Jack felt an uneasiness in his stomach. “I wouldn’t be surprised if your mom planted a nanny cam somewhere inside your bags.” He was only half joking. “She doesn’t need to worry. I plan to be on my best behavior.”
He remembered what Amanda had said about Sam trying to get away with things. “And I expect the same from you.”
* * *
Emma was wide awake, even though it was three a.m. That was partly because she’d taken a long nap all the way to pick up Sam and all the way back. She didn’t wake up until Jack nudged her.
“Are we there yet?” she’d asked.
“Been there, got Sam, and came back, Sleeping Beauty,” Jack whispered.
She’d had four hours of sleep, and now she was lying in her bed all out of sorts. She sat up and glanced over at Barnaby, who was sleeping in his dog bed below her window. The little dog was such a force to be reckoned with when he was awake, but once he fell asleep, he was practically in a coma. Must be nice. She draped her legs over the bed with a restless sigh and decided to get up, which was just crazy. This would make for an incredibly long day at the café.
She wandered around her house and thought about cleaning, but nah. She considered turning on the television or maybe reading a book. Then her gaze fell on the box that Jack had brought her yesterday. The one she still hadn’t opened. The one that read JENNY’S THINGS.
She stepped toward it and, without letting herself think, started peeling off the tape that held the lid in place. Inside she saw that there were only a few things that barely filled the box. She reached in and pulled out a bandana with huge, pink magnolia flowers printed all over it. A memory flashed of her mom wearing it. She’d worn a lot of bandanas when she was in treatment, but this was her favorite. Her mom had loved bright colors, and she’d also adored flowers. Emma reached for the next item, a blue and pink jersey tank with white letters that spelled out JENNY on the back.
Emma tried and failed to remember what this was for. Her mom had loved to run. She’d done dozens of 5K races, loving a good c
ause as much as she did an excuse to put on her running shoes.
Emma ran her fingers over the white letters of her mom’s name. It’d been a while since she’d remembered her mom as healthy, vibrant, and full of energy. Emma’s eyes burned as tears threatened. She folded the jersey and placed it on the table beside the box and reached inside for the last item: a handwritten note. Or actually, it was more of a list. There was writing on the top of the page, followed by a series of starred items, some with tiny check marks beside them and some without.
Emma sucked in a breath and started reading.
My best friend Deb Hershey is sitting beside me, forcing me at nail file point to write this list. She says everyone needs a list of things to do before you die…even if you plan on living forever.
I got diagnosed with cancer today. This is my Life List.
Goose bumps rose on Emma’s body. She sucked in an audible breath as she imagined her mom and Jack’s mom huddled together while creating this list. She remembered the night her mom had first gotten diagnosed. That night, her mom had gone to see Deb, and Emma had come along. She and Jack had sat on the back porch, and Emma had cried while he listened to all her worst fears. That must have been when this list was written.
Emma blinked past the sting in her eyes and continued to read the items.
*Run a marathon ✓
*Swim across Silver Lake ✓
*Fall in love with my husband all over again ✓
*Be my own best friend ✓
A half dozen checked items followed on the list, ending with three that were left unchecked:
*Start my own 5K
*Save a life
*Leave something wonderful behind when I die (50 years from now)
Emma reread the unchecked items, her heart reverberating with a deep ache. Her mother would never finish what she started. It seemed so wrong. Everything suddenly seemed wrong. And there was only one way to make it right. She had to finish her mother’s Life List.
* * *