by Annie Rains
“What does that mean?”
“He has a lot of questions about what’s really going on with his mom, Jack. I think you need to tell him the truth because he knows she isn’t on vacation with her boyfriend.”
Jack groaned.
“I told him I’d be there in ten minutes so I better go. I’ll see you soon.”
“Yeah,” Jack said. “I’ll be here. Emma?”
“Mm-hmm?”
“Thanks.”
“Of course. This is what fake girlfriends are for, right?”
They disconnected, and she quickly pulled her hair back into a low-hanging ponytail. Then she grabbed her keys and headed to her car in the driveway. Five minutes later, she turned into the lot behind the café.
Sam was seated on one of the curb stops, holding his skateboard. He stood and headed over when he saw her. Then he climbed into the passenger seat.
“Ready?” she asked.
“Yep.” He stared out the passenger window.
She’d expected that he’d pepper her with more questions as she drove him back to Jack’s, but he seemed to be saving them for his uncle. She hoped Jack came clean with the teen. It was no fun to be lied to.
Guilt settled in her gut. That’s what she and Jack were doing though. Just another lie, this one for Amanda’s sake. Amanda was the one who didn’t want Sam to know she was struggling with addiction. She wanted to spare him and make sure he had a good summer, which was a noble effort, but Sam wasn’t having any fun right now.
Emma pulled into Jack’s driveway, parked, and got out. The quarter moon offered only a sliver of light as they headed up his porch steps. His motion detector light flicked on when they reached the top step and Jack opened the door.
His mouth was set in a grim line. “You can’t just skip curfew,” he said in a gruff tone of voice as soon as they crossed the threshold. “We’ve already had this discussion. I thought you understood.”
Sam folded his arms over his chest, mirroring Jack’s posture. “Well, you can’t just tell me lies.”
“Who’s lying to you?” Jack asked.
Emma held up a hand. “Okay, you guys. Take the tone down a notch or nothing will get resolved tonight.”
Jack looked at her and took a breath.
“Maybe we should sit on the couch and talk civilly,” she suggested.
The guys hesitated and then took her advice, leaving a space for her to sit between them. She was glad that Sam had invited her over. Otherwise, she thought Jack would be too upset over Sam staying out late and worrying him. And Sam would be too defensive to get the answers he needed.
“Sam, tell Jack what you told me.” Emma gave a soft nod at the teenager.
Sam still had his arms tightly crossed. “I’ve been on my mom’s social media. She’s not on vacation. And her boyfriend isn’t her boyfriend anymore. He’s living it up with some other chick. It’s all over his Instagram page.”
Jack looked like a deer in the headlights. He probably didn’t know that Amanda and her boyfriend had broken up. Maybe Amanda didn’t even know.
“Okay.” Jack looked at his hands, which had fallen into his lap. “Maybe your mom isn’t with her boyfriend anymore. Maybe they broke up, I’m not sure. It’s none of my business though, and it’s not yours either.”
Sam huffed. “You see?” he said to Emma. “He’s going to feed me more lies.”
Emma held up a hand to him and then looked at Jack. “Jack…,” she pressed.
He met her gaze and gave his head a slight shake. “It doesn’t matter what Amanda’s Facebook or Instagram page is showing or not showing. She’s Sam’s mom, and she needs some time to herself. She wants you here, Sam,” he said, looking at his nephew. “And while you’re here, you follow my rules and you come home when I tell you to. Otherwise, you don’t go out at all.”
Emma gulped a breath. The tension in the room was palpable.
“So you’re just going to lie all summer?” Sam shook his head. “Fine. I’ll follow your rules, but I don’t trust liars.” He stood. “If it’s okay with you, I’m going to bed now.”
“That’s probably best,” Jack said, “because you’re working with me tomorrow, and we have a lot to do.”
“Whatever.” Sam walked past them without another word and headed down the hall.
Jack ran a hand through his hair, and for a moment, he looked like he wanted to pull it out.
Emma reached out and touched his arm, gaining his attention. “You could’ve told him the truth.”
“It’s not mine to tell,” Jack said. “Amanda doesn’t want him to know.”
“Maybe you should talk to her, then,” Emma suggested. “Sam already knows she’s not with her boyfriend. Or ex, it sounds like.”
Jack nodded. “I’ll ask Amanda again. But she might not even be aware of the ex part. Learning that could set her back.”
“So many secrets.”
Jack looked at her, his gaze dropping momentarily to her hand still on his forearm. “It’s late.”
She nodded. “Yeah.” They held each other’s gaze for a long moment. She didn’t know what he was thinking, but that kiss they’d shared was at the forefront of her mind, where it’d been since it’d happened. “I better head back home.” She said the words, he nodded, but neither of them moved. “Or…”
Jack’s brow lifted subtly. “Or you could stay a bit longer. I can make us a sweet tea or lemonade, and we could sit on the porch. We could talk.”
Talk. That sounded innocent enough. But that was yet another lie she was feeding herself.
* * *
The view from Jack’s back porch looked out on a thin forest of pines. Through the tangle of limbs and tree trunks, slivers of Silver Lake were visible, reflecting the quarter moon overhead.
“It’s so beautiful here.” Emma sighed as she sat in the deck chair beside him.
Jack thought so too. That’s why he sat out here so often. It was serene. Calm. Peaceful. Some nights he told himself that sitting out here by himself and enjoying nature was something that would never happen if he settled down. His married friends seemed to have active and full lives. The ones with children seemed loaded with activity and noise. At least that’s what he told himself to stay contented in the moment.
Now his mind was telling him something completely different. How nice would it be to share this view with someone every night? To share the details of the day, his hopes and fears, his successes and letdowns. To have kids who ran barefoot beyond the deck, chasing fireflies and wishing on falling stars?
How would it be to retreat to bed with someone at night instead of alone?
Jack looked down at the glass of lemonade in his hands. One kiss did not lead to him and Emma sleeping together. As friends, that was a line they could never uncross.
“Most men keep beer in the fridge,” Emma said suddenly. “Most that I know, at least.”
Jack looked over at her. “Do you open these men’s refrigerators regularly?” he asked.
She laughed softly and shook her head, a tendril of hair slipping off her shoulder to rest along the back of her chair. “No, I guess not. Most men have at least one drink when they go out. You never do. Why is that?”
Jack felt slightly taken aback by her question. He shrugged as if the answer were simple, but it wasn’t. “I don’t want to, I guess.”
“Because of your dad?” she asked.
Jack started to nod but stopped short. His mom was right tonight after the AA meeting. He was that kid who tried to do things on his own, and he’d grown into an adult who did the same. He was tired, and like Emma had said, there were too many secrets this summer. Telling Emma the truth might push her away, but if it did, maybe that’s what needed to happen.
“No, because of me.” Jack looked over and met her eyes. “I struggled in college and barely made it through my forestry degree. I’m not one of those guys who can stop with just one drink. Not easily, at least. It’s something I’ve learned about myself. One d
rink leads to two. Two leads to more.”
Emma’s mouth fell open. “I’ve never seen you drunk.”
“Then you’ve never seen me drink. I don’t blame it on my dad,” Jack said. “In fact, he’s the reason I know that’s not a road I want to go down. I’ve watched him lose what matters most because of his drinking. We learn from our parents’ mistakes, right?”
He sipped from his lemonade. While he was baring his soul, he might as well tell her the full story. “I drove drunk to your house the night of your senior prom. I’m not sure how I navigated the roads and made it there alive, but I’m mortified and ashamed that I did that. Your father answered the door.”
“What?” Emma stiffened in her chair. “You stood me up that night.”
Jack frowned. “Not exactly. Your dad put me back in the truck, and he took the driver’s seat and drove me to my mom’s place. He lectured me the entire way, but I was too out of it to hear much of what he said. I know he told me to stay away from you, and I don’t blame him. What would’ve happened had you gotten into my truck that night with me behind the wheel? I could’ve hurt you, Emma. I could’ve hurt anyone else on that road. I’ll always regret that.”
“Jack…,” she whispered. “I had no idea. But it’s been a long time since you were in college.”
Jack nodded. “That’s the thing that makes it a problem for me. It’s been a long time, but I still want a drink. I still think about it. It’s not something that’ll just go away.”
“I guess that’s why they call alcoholism a disease.”
“In a way, my dad did me a favor by being who he is. Now I know I don’t want to be like him and that’s motivation enough to keep my willpower. The memory of what I could’ve done to you is good motivation too.” He was surprised at Emma’s reaction. Or lack of reaction. She didn’t seem overly surprised or upset. “I’m sorry I ruined your prom, Em.”
“You’ve apologized a million times already.”
“Yeah, but now you know the real reason why. It wasn’t because I overslept or forgot about you. I never forgot about you, Emma.”
“Prom night is an awful memory for me, but I survived it. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“No need for that. I haven’t had a drink in years, and I don’t plan to. That’s why you don’t see my fridge stocked. I know my weaknesses.” Alcohol was one. Emma was the other. He’d done well to stay away from the first, but lately it was becoming an impossible feat to distance himself from the woman beside him, no matter what he’d promised her father.
A tiny strand of her hair blew in the night breeze, clinging to her cheek. Jack lifted a hand and slid it away, his fingers trailing longer than they needed to. He searched her expression, trying to decipher how she felt about his touch. About him.
She smiled back at him, a clear signal that she didn’t mind.
He leaned toward her, and she didn’t pull away. Another clear signal that she was okay with him being so close. He leaned some more, and this time she leaned toward him as well. A kiss was just a kiss, but this impending one felt like so much more. He’d just confessed all of his secrets and she hadn’t let it push her away. Instead, it had drawn her closer, and while he had iron willpower when it came to alcohol, he no longer had any willpower when it came to Emma.
* * *
Emma was spending far too many nights staring up at the ceiling these days. And listening to the soft snore of her dog, who could apparently sleep through anything.
She blinked into the darkness of her bedroom an hour later, after excusing herself from Jack’s home and driving back. He’d argued with her that it was too late to drive. That she could sleep on the couch or he could drive her home and get her car for her in the morning. Those were noble offers, but she’d refused and driven back, texting him when she’d safely arrived and locked herself inside. Sweetwater Springs had a few instances of crime over the last couple years, but overall, it was one of the safest places to be, in Emma’s experience.
Burrowing deeper under her covers as if it were a cold night instead of summer, her thoughts returned to Jack and what he’d told her. She’d often wondered about his aversion to alcohol, but she’d never considered that he was a recovering alcoholic. When he’d told her his story, she’d seen shame and guilt warring in his eyes. He didn’t need to feel those things though. All she saw was a man who’d overcome something that had taken many good people down. He was strong, a fighter, and should feel proud of who he was.
She, on the other hand, wasn’t proud of herself right now. Emma closed her eyes, willing sleep to come, but now that she was alone in the quiet of her room, her thoughts began blaring. Another day had gone by without scheduling her annual checkup. She’d promised herself that she would today, but she hadn’t.
Emma slipped her hand under her tank top and brought it up past her navel. She hadn’t even done the self-checks that she was usually so religious about. What was wrong with her? She closed her eyes and moved her fingers over the soft mound of her left breast, moving in a circular motion the way she’d been taught.
She didn’t breathe as she palpated. Finding nothing, she moved to her right breast. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably now. How could she even do this accurately? She palpated again, making tiny circles that started at the center of her breast and moved to the widest area. When she was done, she gasped and realized that tears were streaming down her cheeks.
Everything had checked out. No lumps. She swiped her hands over her cheeks, collecting her tears. Then she cried herself to sleep. They weren’t happy tears. Or sad. They were just overdue, like a lot of things in her life.
* * *
When Emma’s alarm clock went off just hours later, she opened her eyes and flinched. Her eyes felt raw, and she just wanted to close them again and return to sleep. Not that she’d gotten much rest.
On a yawn, she sat up and went through her morning routine on autopilot, preparing coffee, freshening Barnaby’s water and food bowls, showering, dressing, and taking a moment to watch the morning news. Once she’d gotten an update on the latest happenings in town from local newscaster Serena Gibbs, Emma headed out the door to her car.
She jumped straight into serving customers and making beverages when she arrived at the café.
“You look tired,” Nina said as she and Emma handled orders from the initial customers.
Emma felt that way too. “Gee, thanks. You look beautiful as always.”
Nina laughed. “Liar, but I’ll take a compliment where I can get one. And even when you’re tired, you’re still beautiful,” she amended.
This made Emma smile. “Liar,” she shot back, and couldn’t help but think about Sam and how he’d been so upset last night. Her mind had too much weighing on it—Sam, Jack, and the upcoming event. There was also her annual checkup that she still hadn’t rescheduled at the Women’s Wellness Center. At least she’d finally gathered her nerve to do a self-check. Baby steps.
She needed a way to turn her mind off completely. Otherwise, she’d never get to sleep tonight. She took the next order and started working on it, waiting for Nina to head back in her direction to do the same. “Remember when you wanted to take me out for my birthday a couple of weeks ago?”
“Yep,” Nina said as she prepared a mocha latte. “It was after the fact because you never told me it was your birthday on the actual day. I haven’t even gotten you a present yet.”
“Well, you can buy me a drink tonight,” Emma said. “I need a night out. I need fun.”
Nina glanced over, worry playing in the soft crease between her brown eyes. “You okay?”
Emma nodded. “Yeah. Of course. I’m just in more of a celebratory mood this week.”
“Okay then. I’m free tonight after the café closes. I’ll meet you at the tavern.”
“Sounds perfect.” Emma carried the beverage she’d just prepared to her waiting customer. Tonight, she would drink her cares away and laugh until her worries floated into oblivion. Then
tomorrow she would call the WWC.
Chapter Fourteen
It was lunchtime, and Sam had barely spoken a word to Jack all morning. In the night, Jack had realized just how unfair the whole situation was for Sam, but there wasn’t much he could do about it.
“Let’s do one more patrol around the park and then grab some sandwiches from the diner. Sound good?”
Sam shrugged. “Sure.”
“You know,” Jack said as they walked out to the ATVs, “when I was your age, I would’ve loved a summer job like this one. Most kids wind up working at a fast-food place, but you’ve got connections. Having a job where you can get out into the sunshine and fresh air is a great deal.”
“Most of my friends back home don’t have to work the summer,” Sam pointed out. “They’re hanging out, skateboarding, and going to concerts.”
Jack pushed out the doors of the office building and slid his sunglasses over his eyes. “Lucky them. We have concerts every Friday night. Don’t forget that.”
Sam scoffed. “No names I recognize.”
“Music is music. You need to make the best out of what you’re given, buddy. Even if you don’t like the cards you’re dealt.”
Sam climbed onto the ATV that Jack was letting him use under his supervision. Judging by Sam’s stance, this conversation was over. Jack climbed onto his own ATV, and they headed down the trails of Evergreen Park, the wind whipping against his face and through his hair. As they approached Blue Sky Point, Jack slowed and gestured for Sam to do the same. There was a hiker in the woods that set off alarm bells in his gut. She leaned against a tree, looking out toward the distant mountains. She didn’t even seem to notice them ride up.
Jack looked over at Sam, who seemed to be on the same page as him. Was this woman the illegal camper?
She wore a pair of jean shorts and a T-shirt along with socks and tennis shoes. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a messy bun. Her skin was deeply tanned, and as he drew closer, gesturing for Sam to stay back, he thought maybe she was injured. She flinched as she shifted, keeping weight distributed on only one leg.