Have Artifact, Will Travel (The Immortality Curse Book 5)

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by Peter Glenn


  The man was so happy it started to rub off on me and cure me of my dour mood. “That’s awesome, man.” I clapped him on the shoulder. He gave my arm a slight squeeze then went back to his drink.

  Man, how amazing he must feel right now to be sharing his birth announcement with me of all people. Of course, I didn’t really know the rules about that sort of thing, so I wasn’t sure just how big of a deal it really was.

  An errant thought stopped me cold, making my whole body tremble. Would I have to learn all those rules someday soon? I was pretty sure humans and fae could mate, and truth be told, I didn’t even know if LaLuna was on birth control. Could I have my own pregnancy to announce someday soon?

  Gosh, I hope not. Not that I might not want my own biological kid at some point, but being a pseudo-parent to Grace was hard enough. Still, seeing Hank handle his soon-to-be six kids the way he did, I figured I could handle it, too.

  “You okay, buddy?” Hank asked a few moments later.

  I nodded slowly and took another sip of my drink. I was going to need more alcohol at the rate I was going. “Yeah, sure. Just peachy.”

  Hank gave me a quizzical look. “If you say so, buddy.” He clapped me on the back. “To children, eh? How is your little girl, anyway?”

  “Grace?” I asked, half-stunned by the question. Did everyone think of me as her adoptive dad, now? I mean, sure, I loved her, and it’s not like there were any other guys stepping up to the plate, but I still wasn’t quite sure how I felt about all of it some days.

  How was she doing, anyway? I’d have to text LaLuna later and ask. “Uh, she’s doing great,” I assured Hank, not sure of what else to say.

  “I’m glad to hear that.” Hank squeezed my arm again, a little harder. “You and LaLuna should bring her by again sometime soon to see us all. We haven’t seen her in a couple months.”

  The man had a point. When was the last time little Grace had been by the bar? We’d been extra careful with Grace since the incident in February, only taking her places when it was absolutely necessary—like going to the doctor for a checkup or something. Before that, we’d brought her by the bar every few weeks. She had become something of a novelty at Mei’s.

  I know what you’re thinking, but Mei’s was no ordinary bar. She wouldn’t be the first little kid to visit it. And no, minors don’t get any alcohol. Mei has other treats for them like ice cream. We’re not monsters.

  At any rate, I could understand why Hank wanted to see her.

  “You got it, buddy,” I assured him.

  We exchanged another glance, and then Hank and I both returned our attention to our respective drinks.

  “Mon ami!” a snooty voice called out a moment later, breaking through my malaise.

  A broad grin crossed my lips as I spun to face the new voice. “Frenchie!” I exclaimed.

  “Fraunchie,” Sevin corrected me. He had a habit of doing that.

  “Come give me a hug!”

  Sevin came forward, and we embraced for a moment. Sevin’s hugs were entirely different from Hank’s. For one, I didn’t think I’d be squeezed into two pieces by Sevin. For two, they weren’t as warm. Sevin was thin and lanky, so his hugs didn’t have quite the same impact. But I enjoyed them quite the same.

  Plus, he hadn’t killed me when I’d returned his car with a giant gash in the driver’s door, so I really owed him one.

  Sevin pulled away a second later and took the open seat next to me. He was wearing his usual white and black striped shirt and a beret. He, too, had a slight moustache, but that was normal for him.

  Sevin had been born in France, but he’d lived in the states since he was about six months old. Still, he insisted on living his heritage as much as he could, even though he spoke terrible French.

  “How you doing, buddy?” I asked him.

  “Quite well, mon ami,” Sevin replied. There was a gleam in his eye as he spoke. “Just got a new car today, and I’m loving it.”

  “Yeah? I’m happy for you!” And a little sad for me. He probably wasn’t going to let me borrow his car again for a while if he’d just gotten a new one.

  Not that I could blame him or anything.

  “Oui, monsieur,” he said, grinning. “It is a sporty coupe. I am in love.”

  “Well, that is awesome.” I patted him on the shoulder. “I’d love to see it when I can.”

  “But of course, mon ami. I foresaw great fortune ahead for me with zis automobile. You will adore it, I am certain.”

  Sevin was clairvoyant, so when he said he foresaw something, he meant via his magic ability. Of course, he usually only saw things a few minutes into the future, and they typically weren’t overly important, so his foreseeing “great fortune” with the car could have been as simple as a pretty girl smiling at him as he drove past.

  But if it made him happy…

  “Can’t wait,” I told him. I squeezed his shoulder again and let my hands drop. “Well, can I get you a drink to celebrate?”

  “Non, mon ami,” Sevin told me. “I can get my own drink. But thank you for offering.”

  He knew I was usually strapped for cash, so I wasn’t at all surprised. I still wanted to do something nice for him, though. He’d been so nice to me in the past. He deserved the occasional little treat in return.

  “Come on, I insist. I’ll let you do something for me in return. Tell me my fortune, and you can consider the booze payment for services rendered.”

  Sevin took on a very serious look. “Very well, mon ami. If you insist.”

  “I do.”

  “Zen I shall do as you ask.”

  Sevin put both of his hands out in front of him with the fingers interlocked and cracked his knuckles. Then he put one palm gently on my forehead and closed his eyes. I watched him strain so hard that a bead of sweat appeared on his forehead, then all was calm with him a moment later.

  I always marveled at his methods. Each time I asked him for a prediction, he did something a little different. I wasn’t sure if he was truly refining his craft, or if it was all just for show, but either way, I enjoyed it.

  Sevin pulled his hand away and let it drop. He opened his eyes slowly. “I sense great peril ahead for you, mon ami,” he said in a solemn voice. “But also great reward.”

  I’d never seen him look so serious before. My lips started to tremble as I struggled to come up with some sort of response.

  “That’s kinda how booze works, kid,” Hank interrupted.

  We all burst out laughing at that. Even Sevin joined in after a moment.

  “Oh Hank, you always know just what to say to cheer up the room,” I told the big man. He just grunted back and took another pull of his drink.

  “I was being serious,” Sevin pouted a moment later. “I really did see zese things.”

  I turned my attention back to him. “I know you did, Sevin. Hank just likes to make a joke out of everything.” It was true. He was a big jokester. I patted Sevin on the arm. “Don’t worry, I believe you, my friend. Now, what’ll it be?”

  “A sidecar, mon ami.” He gave me a bright smile. “Shaken, of course.”

  Huh. That was the first time I’d seen him order something alcoholic. Of course, it was still somehow decidedly French. Sevin was nothing if not predictable.

  “But of course,” I replied, putting on my own fake accent and puffing out my chest. “Mei! Bring my friend a sidecar!”

  I heard Mei snort. “And who’s gonna pay for it?”

  “You know I’m good for it!” I insisted. “I’ll pay you back soon enough!”

  Mei shook her head. “You’d better. You still owe me for last week.”

  Damn. I was hoping she would have forgotten that by now. But Mei never forgot anything. It just wasn’t in her genes. There was nothing for it. I’d just have to find some way to get a bunch of money. And fast. The only thing left to figure out was how.

  Sevin’s sidecar appeared in front of him a moment later. “On the house,” Mei said. “For the entertainmen
t value.” She smirked at me as she said that last bit.

  Just what had LaLuna told her, anyway?

  Well, I’d have to find out later. I raised my glass and Sevin raised his as well. We clinked them together in the air, then I took another drink. About half of it was gone by now, and I wondered how long I could ration the rest of it. I knew I wasn’t going to get any more of them tonight. I had to be careful.

  Hank finished his drink a moment later and said his goodbyes, claiming he had to go check in on his wife and kids. It was early in the afternoon yet, but I believed him. Five kids couldn’t be easy. Especially with his wife being pregnant.

  Sevin shuffled off shortly after. He uttered thanks for the beverage and went off to talk to Yuri, the Russian. Those two often spent a lot of time talking to each other. I wasn’t sure what they had in common, exactly, but more power to them.

  I took the last sip from my Manhattan and eyed the bottom of the glass with disdain. There was a tiny droplet of precious liquid down there. If I struggled hard enough with my tongue, maybe I could lap it up out of the bottom of the glass. I picked it up to give it a try when a loud noise from off to my left interrupted me.

  “Another Manhattan for Damian, here!” a cheery voice called.

  The source of the noise and the voice made itself known to me quick enough. It was Isaiah making his entrance known. He sure did like to make an entrance, that one.

  He was wearing a simple blue shirt and a pair of dated jeans that had a hole over one knee. The hole looked intentional, though, and not something that had occurred over time. Around his neck hung some sort of amulet. It reminded me of an Egyptian hieroglyph. A giant eye made of gold, with an emerald for the iris.

  The amulet was new. He was probably coming to gloat about finding it or something. Isaiah was a magician, and almost every time I saw him, he was holding onto some new magical artifact that did something cool. Today was likely no different.

  But wait. Hadn’t he said something about free booze for me?

  I gave the guy my full attention for once. “What he said!” I barked at Mei. “Another Manhattan for me!”

  Mei nodded at both of us, then got to work.

  “So,” I said to Isaiah, “what brings you here today?”

  The fresh Manhattan showed up while I was talking, and I took a sip of it to refresh myself. Nothing in the world tasted better than free alcohol.

  Isaiah shrugged. “Nothing special. I’m on a job, is all.”

  “Yeah?”

  He nodded. “Yep. Tough one, too.” He eased himself onto the stool on my left side, the one Hank had been in recently. It didn’t seem to protest Isaiah’s weight the way it had Hank’s.

  I gave him a sideways glance, but he said nothing. Still, I could tell he was fishing for me to say something. I took the bait. “So, what’s the mission you’re on?”

  The magician let out a sigh and fingered the medallion around his neck. “I’m on the lookout for an elusive magical artifact. It’s been all the rage in the magician circles of late. So of course, I want to find it before anyone else does.”

  “Of course,” I replied. I could understand that.

  “But it’s not as easy as it sounds,” Isaiah continued. “No one has even seen what it’s supposed to look like, so it’s really hard to know if you’ve got the right object.”

  “That would make it harder,” I agreed with a slight chuckle. “So you came here to refuel before heading out?” I still didn’t know why he’d bought me a free drink, but maybe if I kept him talking, he’d follow it with another one. Three Manhattans might be enough to make me feel nice and buzzed for the evening.

  Booze didn’t have as big an effect on me as it did the average person—one side effect of my immortality was an increased constitution and sped up healing—but it would still work if you threw enough of the stuff at me. Believe me. I’d succeeded plenty of times.

  Isaiah let out another sigh. “Yeah, well, it’s annoying is what it is. This artifact could make a big difference for me, but I don’t even know where to start looking for it.”

  “Well, what is it even supposed to do?”

  Isaiah paused for a moment while he took a swig of a drink that had appeared in front of him. Funny, I hadn’t even remembered him ordering one. When had that shown up?

  “The thing is, the stories about that are as varied as the ones about its description. Some say that it can grant the user good luck. Some say it’s a fount of endless money. Others say it’s some secret key to the underworld.” Isaiah put his hands up in frustration. “All I really know is that I want it.”

  Now my interest had been piqued for real. Good luck I didn’t need. I already had plenty of that on my own, and I didn’t want anything to do with a key to the underworld.

  But a font of endless money? Now there was something I could get behind.

  “So… what’s this artifact called, exactly?”

  Isaiah was in the middle of taking another drink. He grunted and set it down on a coaster. “Hmm? What?”

  “The artifact. What’s it called?”

  “Oh, yes.” Isaiah cleared his throat. “It’s known as the Jade Jaguar. One would think that would mean it looked like a jaguar made of jade, but sadly, the tales can’t even agree on that.”

  “Jade Jaguar, huh?” I thought I’d heard that term before. But where? I was drawing a blank. “Sounds cool enough.”

  Isaiah nodded. “Yep. Just too bad no one knows where to find the infernal thing.”

  “Too bad indeed.”

  We sat there in amicable silence for a moment, sipping at our various beverages, as I struggled to remember where I’d heard that term before. It was right there at the back of my mind, but try as I might, I couldn’t come up with anything.

  “Anyway,” Isaiah started. He took one last sip of his drink and set it back down, then motioned for Mei to clear it away. “Thanks for listening to me for a moment. I hope you enjoyed the free drink.”

  I nodded. “I did, thanks.”

  Isaiah got up and put a couple of bills on the bar to pay his tab.

  One free drink it was, then. Oh well. It was probably karma paying me back for buying Sevin a drink earlier. You have to take what you can get sometimes.

  I took a sip of my drink and looked up at Isaiah. He was still just standing there, looking distant. “So, you going to head back out there in search of your jaguar?”

  The magician shrugged. “I don’t know. I might just let it drop. It’s probably nothing but smoke and mirrors anyway.”

  “Yeah, probably.” I turned my attention back to my drink. When had it gotten so low? Maybe if I thought really hard it would refill itself...

  Isaiah walked away several steps, then stopped. “Say, you wouldn’t… nah, forget it.”

  “Wouldn’t what?” I spun in my seat to face him. Now he had my curiosity again.

  Isaiah frowned and waved a hand at me dismissively. “It’s nothing. Thanks again for listening to my rambles.”

  I bolted out of my chair, the last remnants of my drink momentarily forgotten. “No, it’s all good. What were you about to say?”

  “Well…” Isaiah rubbed his chin for a moment. “You’re an occult investigator, right?”

  “The best.” I puffed out my chest a little.

  “Uh huh. Sure.” Isaiah didn’t seem impressed. “So you, you’re… good at finding weird stuff, right?”

  A broad smile crossed my lips. “Why Isaiah, that’s my specialty.”

  “Well then, do you think maybe you could–”

  “Find the Jade Jaguar for you?” I finished for him. Isaiah nodded. “I can’t make any guarantees, but if anyone could find it, it would definitely be me.”

  Isaiah frowned. “You sure you’re up to the task? It could be really dangerous. Of course, I’d pay well if you could actually find it for me.”

  My mind went back to the cryptic words Sevin had spoken before Isaiah had come into the bar. Great peril awaited me. B
ut also great rewards. Could he have been talking about the hunt for the Jade Jaguar and its endless flow of money?

  I was no mathematician, but that sure seemed like an easy equation to figure out. I looked straight at Isaiah and gave him a firm nod. “You can count me in.”

  The magician looked lost in thought for a moment, then finally he nodded as well. “All right, you’re hired!”

  “Thanks!” I stuck out my hand to seal the arrangement. He took it. His hand was surprisingly supple for someone in his line of work.

  “You won’t regret this.”

  “Oh, somehow I think I will, but what the heck?”

  I ignored his sense of foreboding. I mean come on, a magician and an occult investigator on the hunt for a vague artifact no one had even seen before? It was like a match made in heaven. What could possibly go wrong?

  3

  “So, any ideas of where to start looking?” Isaiah asked me a little while later.

  It was nearly five in the evening of the same day. We’d spent a little bit more time at Mei’s drinking another two rounds to cement our new-found working arrangement, then we’d ambled on out of there.

  Right now, we were piling into Isaiah’s car. It was a sensible number—a dark blue sedan. A Hyundai Sonata, I think. An interesting choice for someone who appeared to be as loaded as Isaiah was. But maybe that was part of the trick, not to spend money on frivolities.

  Part of me wondered if I’d ever learn that trick. The rest of me was just glad I wouldn’t be driving anytime soon. Four Manhattans put me straight into “not legal” status as far as driving was concerned.

  Not that I could drive legally, anyway, seeing as I didn’t have a driver’s license. Getting one of those was harder than it seemed, at least for a guy that was technically still here on a vacation visa. One heck of a vacation, if I do say so myself. But I digress.

  Could Isaiah drive? He’d put back three drinks himself. Maybe his magic gave him some immunity to alcohol too. He didn’t even seem tipsy.

  “Did you hear me?” Isaiah asked, sounding annoyed.

  My cheeks flushed. “Sorry. Honestly? I don’t really have any places in mind, but I do know someone that might be able to help us out.”

 

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