by Cora Brent
“Back at you,” I told him.
We talked for a good half an hour. I told Hale about Cami, about the prospects for the training facility, about the fact that last week someone forwarded me a celebrity blog containing the news that Alexa was splitting up with her husband. And strangely I didn’t even care. I couldn’t be smug about someone else’s misery no matter who they were. I talked about how I’d finally learned to accept that our father would never change, something Hale had accepted years ago. Then I talked about Cami some more. It was only fitting that the topic of Cami should take up so much of the conversation. She’d become the most important thing in my life. Just like that, in such a short period of time. Quick as a lightning strike. Anyone who said it couldn’t happen like that was one pessimistic fucker.
After the call ended I hung around for a little while longer, enjoying the quiet and the scenery. Next time I was up this way I would bring Cami with me. She’d appreciate this, the strange shadows cast by the granite formations as the sun changed positions. There were so many things I wanted to share with her.
When the shadows started to grow longer I left the Dells behind and drove back down to the valley. I stopped at a department store and picked up a few packing supplies I expected to need very soon. Then I headed to Wild Spring to find Griffin, hoping he’d be somewhere on the property.
Half an hour later, Griffin joined me at the club like I had asked him to. Aqua Room was still empty but in a few hours it would be pulsing with people and energy. I didn’t mince words and Griffin wasn’t surprised when I told him I was quitting. He asked me if I’d stay on until he found a replacement and I said sure. However, I was giving up my suite as soon as possible and moving into an apartment.
Griffin nodded over all the news but I could see his disappointment. I tried to soften the blow.
“Griff, I owe you a lot for this opportunity. I won’t forget that you were a good friend to me when I needed one.”
He managed a grin and held out his hand. “You don’t owe me a thing, buddy. You did me a favor.”
That may or may not be true but we shook on it.
“I expect I’ll still be seeing you around now and then, right?” he asked and I could tell it was his way of asking whether we were still friends. Or whether all the recent trouble had severed that connection irreparably.
“You’ll see me around,” I assured him. “Who the hell else is crazy enough to go mountain biking with me in the desert in the middle of summer?”
He snickered. Then he lightly punched my arm. “Say hello to Cami for me. Tell her I’m sorry and I’m here for a reference if she needs one.”
“Will do.”
Griffin tilted his head and looked a little wistful. “Seriously, man, I envy you. In more ways than one.”
I didn’t know if he was talking about Cami or about the fact that I could just walk away from here and he couldn’t. Maybe he meant both.
Griffin didn’t stay long and that was fine because I needed to head home and get ready for the club to open in a few hours. I was glad Aqua Room wouldn’t be occupying my nights for much longer. I wouldn’t miss it.
Back at the luxury resort suite I planned to abandon soon I showered and then stood out on the back patio in my boxers, leisurely sipping a beer and watching the last traces of light disappear.
“Camille,” I whispered as I stared into the darkness and thought of all the unseen night creatures of the desert that would soon be awakening beneath a canopy of stars.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Camille
Most people aren’t lucky enough to be born beside their best friend.
But I was.
Cassidy left work early and met me at Esposito’s Pizzeria. After two hours of consuming mass quantities of pizza and pouring my heart out to my sister I started to feel better.
“You should be a therapist,” I told her wryly. “Talking to you always makes me feel a thousand times better. You ought to capitalize on that talent.”
She smiled. “You might have just talked me into a career path.”
The owner’s wife stopped by and delivered a plate of cannolis. “On the house,” she said, winking. “You girls look like you deserve a treat today.”
“Do you think she remembers us?” Cassie asked as we gobbled up the dessert.
“Probably. Our family’s been coming here since they opened.”
Cassie licked a small blob of cannoli cream from her lips. Then her Gentry blue eyes grew serious. “Are you going to say anything to Debra?”
I shrugged. “I don’t really know what to say. I don’t want to intrude on her privacy.”
Cassie thought about that. “We were more acquaintances than friends in high school but she always seemed a little too eager to fit in. I feel sorry for her.”
“So do I but that doesn’t mean she’d be happy to see either one of us.”
My sister gazed thoughtfully out the window at the pedestrians walking by outside. “If you were feeling alone and desperate, would you want to know that a friend cared?”
“I’m not sure Debra considers me a friend.”
“But you could be,” she insisted. “We could be.”
Cassie was right and I had no argument. Instead of busting into the hospital this morning intending to grill Debra on her affiliation with Anders I should have been planning to ask her what she needed, to let her know I was around if she wanted to talk. Shame pricked at me as I dug into my purse for some cash to pay the tab. “Chances are Debra’s out of recovery. We have plenty of time to get to the hospital before visiting hours end.”
Cassie brightened. “Now you’re talking.”
Once we were outside in the blazing heat I found my attention drawn to the sleek, towering buildings in the downtown corridor.
“I have to make a quick stop,” I told my sister. “Why don’t you go ahead and I’ll meet you at the hospital?”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
Cassie looked doubtful.
“It won’t take long,” I assured her. “I promise.”
When she was gone I looked up the office address for Congressman Anders. I thought I remembered it was somewhere on Central Avenue and it turned out I was right. According to his official website, his office was located in a building that was within walking distance. I could actually see it from here. Of course I didn’t know whether he’d be there right now. From what I could tell he spent a lot more time dabbling in extracurricular activities than official ones. But I owed him one last confrontation.
The receptionist didn’t want to say whether Anders was in the building. She didn’t want to announce me either.
I said, “Tell him Camille Gentry is here. He’ll want to see me.” But the woman pursed her dry lips together and seemed prepared to call security.
“Hello again, Ms. Gentry,” said Jeff Anders, who had suddenly appeared from the depths of a rather labyrinthine corridor on the left. He seemed neither surprised nor displeased to see me. But then again he was probably used to disguising his moods. Anders nodded to the unhappy receptionist. “It’s all right, Mara.”
“You have a meeting with Senator Bridges in five minutes,” Mara protested. “He’s already here.”
“I don’t think this will take long,” Anders said pleasantly.
“No, I don’t think it will either,” I said.
Even though I was pretty sure Jeff Anders wouldn’t do me any harm in the middle of a crowded office building in downtown Phoenix I still felt slightly anxious. I nervously twisted my lapis ring as I followed him down the hall to his office.
“Please,” he said, “have a seat.”
Now that the door was closed and he was sinking tiredly into his plush armchair behind a desk littered with framed family photos, a different Jeff Anders appeared. He looked drained, grieved, ten years older than the man who’d just pleasantly greeted me in the lobby.
We stared at each other from across his mammoth desk. I broke the silence first.<
br />
“Congratulations on your candidacy for governor,” I said. “I guess nothing’s standing in your way now.”
He didn’t smile. He spoke slowly, warily. “I’m grateful for the opportunity to serve the citizens of this great state.”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Can it, jackass. There’s no audience here and I’m not recording this conversation. I’ve got nothing on you, Anders. Nothing I can prove anyway and it seems your bribery scandal will remain happily down in Mexico sipping margaritas by the sea. So you can call off your goon squad because there’s no reason to follow me around anymore.”
His face reddened. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I leaned forward. “I didn’t kid myself that you’d have some moment of epiphany and own up to everything. But I still wanted to look you in the eye and tell you that I think you’re a lying sack of shit. Your profession suits you well. I have no ammunition to come after you, but I hope that someone does.” I stood up. “I could lie to you and say I’d love to stay and chat for a while longer but the truth is I’d rather French kiss a rattlesnake than remain in your presence. Besides, my sister is waiting for me. We’re going to visit Debra. To make sure she’s all right. Because someone ought to.”
He was slumped in his chair, for the moment no longer a man of arrogant confidence. “I deserve all that.”
“You deserve worse.”
He caught my eye. “I do care about her. Whatever else you might think of me, I hope you’ll remember that.”
I didn’t have anything else to say. It was time for me to go.
Anders had picked up one of the framed photos on his desk. I thought I recognized it from a campaign billboard.
“I’m not a monster, Camille,” he said quietly as he stared at the silent faces of his family.
“You’re not a good man either.”
He set the picture down. “Is anyone?” he asked wearily.
I thought of them.
My father. My uncles. Dalton.
All decent, morally uncompromising men who might make mistakes here and there but owned up to them and tried to be better.
“Yes,” I told the congressman. “There are a lot of good men in the world.”
Then I left him with alone with his secrets and his lies and fled the building.
Cassie was already visiting with Debra when I got to the hospital. I felt a little shy when I walked into the room and wished I’d brought something. Flowers, a card, anything. Debra seemed so fragile propped up in her bed with an IV trailing from her arm. But she smiled when she saw me.
“We were just remembering Mrs. Kemp’s class,” Cassie said from her perch on the edge of Debra’s bed.
“Ninth grade geometry,” I remembered. “She always had a half eaten glazed donut sitting on her desk. No matter what time of day you peeked into her classroom it was still sitting there. Nobody ever saw her take a bite. By spring I was convinced she must have had the exact same donut on her desk the entire year. But on the last day of school I stopped by her classroom to ask for my final exam grade and she was happily munching on the other half so I don’t know.”
Cassie giggled. “You’d think it would have been hard as a rock.”
“Yeah, you’d think. So it must not have been the same one after all.”
“Hey!” Cassie slapped her knee. “Remember when she was writing on the whiteboard one day and she turned around to find that we were all wearing baby face masks?”
“She screamed so loud my eardrums vibrated,” Debra said, holding her arms over her stomach as she tried to stop laughing.
When the laughter died down I sat down in an empty metal chair.
“How are you?” I asked Debra gently.
She sighed. “Embarrassed. Ashamed. Like I’m so far from everything I ever wanted to be.” Her eyes filled with tears and she ran her hand over the thin blanket covering her legs. “I didn’t want to die. It’s just that for a moment I felt like I couldn’t live without him. It was a terrible feeling.”
Debra sniffed and Cassie handed her a box of tissues.
“He hasn’t been here today,” Debra said quietly. “It was the first thing I asked when I woke up. He sent a flower arrangement but my mom took it away and tossed it in the trash. I’m glad she did. I don’t want any reminders of him.”
“How long do you have to stay here?” I asked her.
She frowned. “I was told that arrangements have been made to accommodate me as long as I want to stay but I want out as soon as my doctor says it’s okay. My mom is begging me to move back home. I’m going to. I feel bad for everything I’ve put her through. I can’t believe I’ve made such a mess. I wanted to be a veterinarian. I don’t recognize the ruined slut that I’ve become.”
Debra started to cry softly. I looked helplessly at Cassie but my sister knew exactly what to do. She reached for Debra’s hand and spoke from the heart.
“Our mistakes aren’t what break us,” Cassie said. “What hurts the most is how we punish ourselves for them. Don’t do that, Debra. Be good to yourself.”
As Cassie hugged the sobbing girl I became a little tearful myself. Cassie was handing out wisdom she’d come by the hard way.
Debra’s mother returned a short time later. She seemed pleased to find that her daughter was being visited by old friends from high school.
“Call me soon,” Cassie said to Debra before we left.
“Maybe we can have a girls’ night in,” I added. “Binge on John Hughes films and eat all the calories.”
Debra smiled and wiped away the last of her tears. “That sounds nice.”
When we were alone in the hallway I tackled Cassie with a ferocious hug. “I love you, sis.”
“I love you too,” she gasped. “But let me go so I can freaking breathe.”
We’d come in separate vehicles so we had to part ways in the parking lot.
“Are you going to see Dalton?” Cassie wanted to know.
I looked up at the darkening sky. “No. He’ll be getting ready for the club to open. And after the way I barged in there last night and started shouting at people he probably won’t be too excited to see me show up there again.”
Cassie threw me a look and I thought for a second she was going to call me out for being a coward. I felt like a coward. How could I explain it? My love for Dalton was all I thought about but the words were stuck somewhere between my brain and my tongue. I was afraid I might say the wrong thing when I saw him. Maybe that kind of love should be easy to talk about, the kind that shook you awake in the middle of the night with the sure sense that you’d just been struck by a powerful force capable of consuming you body and soul. But it wasn’t. Especially not if you’ve never felt it before. It was fucking terrifying.
“I’ll see you at home then,” Cassie said.
“See you at home.”
By the time I got home it was dark. Cadence was in the shower. Cassie was quietly reading a book in our bedroom. My mother’s office door was closed. I felt restless, unable to stand the idea of being closed inside walls, so I went outside.
My father was sitting in the backyard petting Angus The Dog with one hand and holding a beer with the other. Angus thumped his shaggy tail when he saw me.
“Hey Cams,” my father said.
“Hi, Daddy.”
The patio light was on so I was able to see his smile. “It’s nice to hear you use that word. You and your sisters don’t call me that too much anymore.”
“I’ll say it more often if it means that much to you. What are you guys doing out here?”
“Nothing. Just watching the stars appear.”
I looked up. “Too bad they get crowded out by the city lights. They’re a lot easier to see out in the desert.”
“That they are. When your uncles and I were boys we loved nothing better than to camp out in some remote area of the desert outside Emblem. No one knew where to find us. Not that anyone would have been looking. Chase was always able
to rattle off the names of every bright spot in the sky but I never really listened that carefully. I always preferred the mystery.”
My father’s artistic mind always had a unique way of looking at the world. I looked up at the sky and instead of seeing stars I saw a thousand mysteries. I knew beyond them there were thousands more.
I sank down on the wicker sofa beside my dad and Angus immediately set his head on my knee with a little whine as he waited to be acknowledged.
“You want to talk, Cams?” He offered me his beer. I took a sip and handed it back to him but he waved his hand, indicating I could keep it.
“Sure. Is Mom working?”
“She is now. She had her hands full earlier dealing with Cadence.”
“What’s wrong with Cadence?”
“She’s upset.”
“Why?”
“Jacob’s leaving. I guess he told Cadence weeks ago and she didn’t agree with his decision so that’s why they’ve been on the outs. He and a friend of his are moving to Portland in two days.”
I was stunned. “What? Why the hell did he pick Portland?”
“Not sure. It might have something to do with his birth mother. That was apparently her last known address.”
“I thought she wasn’t alive anymore.”
“She might not be.”
I never knew much about Aunt Truly’s sister, the woman who had deposited her infant son in the arms of her big sister and then bolted, leaving only a letter indicating her desire for Truly and Creed to adopt the baby boy. He was as much a Gentry as any of us as far as we were concerned. Always had been.
“Needless to say, your aunt and uncle aren’t pleased,” my father explained. “I think Creed accepts it a little more. Jacob’s technically a man. If he wants to venture into the world and find his own way then we’ve all got to accept it.”
My father sounded a little melancholy as he said these words. They were probably ones that had occurred to him before. I thought of my collection of cousins, of the countless events and holidays over the years, the Gentry tribe running around together under the proud, watchful eyes of the adults. Children grow up. And sometimes they need to leave the family fold in pursuit of their own dreams.