by Claire Adams
Perri had suggested tracking down Alex for child support, but I knew if I took any of his money, he’d want to be involved, and I didn’t want a man who could be so callous with my feelings around my daughter. Even now that I knew about his accident, I couldn’t say my feelings had changed that much.
It hadn’t taken him three years to recover from his accident, after all. He obviously had gotten what he wanted that night of the reunion and didn’t care about much more, despite what he’d said.
I’m not saying I didn’t feel sorry for him. No man should have to get hurt and laid up in the hospital, but that didn’t mean I was going to forget how he’d treated me, either. I had some pride left as a woman.
As I turned the corner onto my mama’s street, I thought about what a great help it’d been the last couple of years. That was one of the reasons I tried to return the favor on Friday afternoons. Besides, it was fun. I got to play with my little Kadie and the other kids. It beat filing forms and typing things up at town hall.
I pulled next to the curb right outside of my mama’s place, smiling to myself. Thinking of the kids had put me back in a good headspace. I turned my car off, opened the door, and stepped outside.
My heart tried to leap out of my chest. So much for my good headspace.
Alex Kline was walking right down the street, straight toward me. I didn’t know if that meant he’d been looking for me, or if I was just really unlucky.
I whispered a quick prayer, hoping the Lord would help him. Figuring that trying to do anything too sneaky would only draw more attention, I strolled around my car like normal.
“Aspyn,” Alex called to me in the distance. “Aspyn!”
I let out a quiet groan. Of course, the Lord wasn’t going to help me hide from the man I should be confronting. If anything, the Lord probably pointed him right at me.
Stopping, I plastered a smile on my face. I could do it. Or at least I could talk to him for a couple minutes without breaking down.
I waited as Alex hurried toward me.
“Hey,” Alex said, his face slightly red from the running.
Being close to Alex was dangerous. I realized this as I took in his muscled arms and handsome face. This was the man I’d lusted after for years and shared a perfect night with, a night that had lived up to everything I’d expected.
I swallowed. No. I wouldn’t lust after Alex Kline anymore. I couldn’t. I loved my daughter, but she hadn’t been planned. I had let that handsome face and those firm muscles control me, and I needed to make sure that didn’t happen again.
“Hey.” I shrugged. “Nice seeing you again, Alex.”
He watched me for a second before speaking, uncertainty on his face. “Remember what I said the other day?”
“Uh …” Alex had said something about talking, but I couldn’t quite remember all the details, so I decided to go with brutal honesty. “I’m sorry, I forgot. It was kind of hectic with me dealing with my daughter. Is there something you needed?”
Disappointment spread across his face, stabbing at my heart. I tried to remind myself that Alex was the one who hadn’t so much as picked up a phone in three years, so I didn’t need to feel guilty.
If he’d called shortly after his accident, that would have been one thing, but he hadn’t done that. I wasn’t the ass here. He couldn’t stroll back into town and demand I pay attention to him anytime he felt like it.
Still, there was something about him, standing there, with his blond hair and gray eyes, the little hint of rebellion with his pierced ears, and those tattoos running up his arms. I remembered seeing his complete tattoos when he was shirtless, running my hands over them.
Again? No. No. No. The last thing I needed to be doing was lusting after the man who’d knocked me up and didn’t talk to me for three years, even if just the thought of him inside me made warmth pulse in my center.
“Well, I wanted to talk to you,” Alex said. “Somewhere private so we can discuss some things. I was waiting for you to call me, but, well, you forgot, so maybe we figure something out now. Maybe later tonight?”
My heart kicked into overdrive. The last thing I wanted to do was be alone with Alex when I didn’t even have the excuse of work to run away.
I sighed and thought about it. The truth was, I couldn’t keep running from Alex. Livingston wasn’t like Nashville. We were bound to keep running into each other again and again. The longer I avoided him, the weirder it’d be when I finally had to sit down and talk to him. Telling him the truth would end up more painful for both of us.
“Sunday,” I blurted out. “How about Sunday at 8 in the morning? At the coffee shop. I’ve got church later and need to spend some time with Mama.”
“Okay. The coffee shop in the morning. Sounds good. It’s the one where you worked at in high school?”
I swallowed once. That was the problem with Alex. Even though we’d barely seen each over the years, he still knew so much about me and my past.
“Yeah, that one. Switched owners, but it’s still a nice place.”
Alex nodded slowly and just stared at me like he had something he wanted to say right then.
“Um, okay,” I said. “I’ll see you then.”
“It’s kind of important.” He continued staring.
“Look, I get that, Alex,” I said. I nodded toward my mama’s house. “But I need to help Mama now. You …” I sighed. I didn’t want to start snapping at him on the sidewalk.
He blinked as if my words had snapped him out of a trance. Alex nodded quickly.
“You’re right. Sunday. Okay, see you then,” he said. He waved and started down the sidewalk away from me.
Heading into my mama’s house, I found that it wasn’t relief that entered me when Alex left but unease. Why was he so insistent on talking to me?
The guy had been gone three years not making any attempt to send me so much as a text, and now it was important we talked? It was almost as if he already knew. Had Carl squealed?
It was hard to know. I kind of doubted Alex would be willing to wait if he knew the truth. But I had to be sure.
I stepped into my mama’s house. The sound of squealing and laughing children came from the back.
Though the joy of kids was infectious, I needed a moment to calm myself down after my little run-in with Alex, so I headed into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.
After a few sips, the kitchen door opened, and my mama came in, Kadie trailing behind.
“Mama!” my little girl said, rushing over to hug my leg. I smiled and hugged her back.
“Why don’t you go into the back and play with the other kids for a second, sweetie?”
“Okay, Mama.” She rushed back through the door.
Watching through the kitchen window, I saw Kadie start chasing two of the other kids in the backyard. They all laughed and ran in circles, having a great time.
“Something wrong, Aspyn?” Mama asked, a concerned look on her face.
I wondered how she knew but then realized I’d just sent my own daughter away, and my hands were trembling. I placed the coffee cup on the counter and took a deep breath.
Alex wasn’t the only person I’d avoided talking to about important things.
“He’s back. Kadie’s father is back,” I said, my voice shaking. “On Tuesday. He’s working at Carl’s ranch. I guess he’s trying to find himself or something.”
“Oh, my.” Mama let out a long sigh. “And does he know?”
I shook my head. “Not yet. I haven’t told him.” I gestured toward the window. “I don’t know, though. Maybe he does. Maybe he worked it out, or maybe Carl told him.”
She walked up and put her hands on my shoulders. “Just talk take a breath, honey. You have family and friends who are here to support you.”
“I just never thought he’d come back.” I let out a nervous laugh. “So, I never even thought much about what I’d say if he ever came back.”
“You never thought he’d come back?” She gave me a
skeptical look.
“He showed up in town one time in three years,” I said. “And then …” I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “It’s not crazy to think he’d never come back.”
“Don’t worry about it. Just know that whatever you decide, I’m here to support you as I always have.”
I gave her a tight hug. Returning my hug, she patted my back.
Mama was right. I had her and my other friends. More important, I had a little girl I needed to think about. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and put my worries about Alex aside.
“Thank you, Mama. Thank you.”
Chapter 12
Alex
With so many other changes in my life, it was kind of comforting to be sitting in the coffee shop by the library. Aspyn had told me the owner changed, but everything else was the same: the black tables and chairs, the Vanderbilt and Tennessee banners on the walls, and the small number of signed pictures from a few famous country stars who had made their way into town. The only new one I spotted was a Luke Bryan one in the corner.
I’d spent so many days at this place in high school. It wasn’t like I was into coffee, but more into one of the waitresses at the time. Aspyn.
I remembered waiting in this place for her to get off work. She’d get me a free drink, and we’d go off to have fun by ourselves or with Perri, Joe, and Carl.
They were memories of good times before my dad died and everything had changed. Before I’d left town and abandoned the few people who gave a crap about me.
I stared into the darkness of the hot drink in front of me. Where were my dreams now? All I’d ever wanted then was to be happy with Aspyn. I figured I’d come back into town the conquering college boy hero and sweep her off her feet.
But yeah, it hadn’t worked out that way.
I gritted my teeth. Maybe life was working out the way it should. I’d made a lot of bad choices, shortsighted choices focused only on me, and now I was alone.
I’d had a second chance when I came back. I tried to blame the accident, but the accident didn’t stop me from calling Aspyn. My own cowardice did.
Sure, I was a good-looking guy, and I could go down to the Mustang and pick up a one-night stand, but I didn’t want that. Didn’t want meaningless sex.
When I’d slept with Aspyn, it meant something. I wanted it to. Expected it to. Now the best I could hope for was that maybe we could eventually be friends again.
Sipping my coffee, I glanced out the window. Still no sign of Aspyn.
Would she even show? It’s not like I couldn’t tell she was trying to avoid me. Hell, the other day I knew she saw me, but she still pretended like she hadn’t.
It wasn’t like I could be that pissed at her. She had good reason to avoid me.
At the time, I didn’t know if I should just ignore her and wait for a better time. The problem was there would be no better time. I’d already waited three years, and that’s why everything was as screwed up as it was.
The longer I went without talking to her, the more she’d have time to think about how I’d taken off and never called her. She’d only hate me more.
A snicker escaped my mouth. What was I doing there? Was I going to beg for forgiveness? Give her my sob story and throw myself at her feet?
I didn’t know. All I knew was that I wanted to give her my side of things. Tell her face-to-face.
The bell jingled, and I looked toward the door. Aspyn.
My breath caught. I don’t know why she was messing me up so much. She wasn’t looking any different than normal, wearing just a T-shirt and jeans. The jeans did do a good job of hugging her ass, and if anything, her breasts strained against her shirt even more than before.
Before, she had been a hot woman, but now, she was a legitimate MILF.
Damn it. Why did my thoughts have to go there? This wasn’t about my cock. I’d let it do the thinking years before, and it was why I was in this crap to begin with. I knew I’d lost any chance of sinking into her again.
Still, damn it, I wanted her. My body didn’t care about my anguish. It just wanted that sweet pussy from years ago.
I curled my hands into fists and took a few deep breaths. No. I came here to do something, and it wasn’t to think about having sex with Aspyn.
She headed over to my table and took a seat. The waitress hurried over and took her coffee order before disappearing.
Here we went.
“Did you have any trouble finding the place?” I joked and offered her a grin.
Aspyn let out a quiet little laugh. No nervousness. No fear. I couldn’t fight the warmth that spread through me. This time, it wasn’t about my dick or her luscious curves but my heart.
The smile was proof I could still make her feel like I used to before she hated me: before I’d given her every reason to push me away.
“Well, they did paint the outside a few months ago,” Aspyn said with a wink. “So different.”
I chuckled. I hadn’t even noticed. So much for everything being the same as back as in high school.
The waitress returned with Aspyn’s coffee, and she thanked her. I waited for a moment as Aspyn took a few sips of her coffee and got comfortable.
At or least tried to. I could see the tension in her shoulders, and she was having a hard time looking directly at me. Yeah, not exactly comfortable.
“So, you like working at town hall?” I said, desperate to get the conversation started but too afraid to talk about our past yet.
“Oh, it’s okay,” she said. “I mean the actual job can be boring at times, but I get to work with Perri and Joe, so that’s fun.” She shrugged.
I waited a few seconds for her to ask me a question. After 10 seconds, I realized she wasn’t going to.
Aspyn returned to sipping her coffee, only sparing me a glance once and a while. Instead, she spent most of her time looking at the decorations or other people as if looking at me was this painful thing she could only manage for a few seconds.
I swallowed. I was starting to lose hope I could have her as a friend again. And that was just the beginning of my concern.
“I waited,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Waited for you to call me. Then I called you. Again and again, but you never called back. Do you know how that felt? Especially after what we…” She sighed and glanced around, “After what we shared?”
My heart kicked up. This is what I’d come here to discuss, so I couldn’t chicken out now if I was any sort of man.
“Yeah, I know. That’s what I wanted to talk about,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “I was in an accident. My phone was damaged in the accident, and I spent a couple of months in the hospital.”
“Carl mentioned the accident when we all went out the other day.”
“So, yeah. I’m sorry for ghosting you. It wasn’t on purpose.”
A faint frown appeared on her face. “You weren’t in the hospital for three years, Alex.” Her tone turned ice cold.
What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to admit I was afraid she’d hate the wounded, depressed man I’d become? Maybe that would have helped. I don’t know, but the last thing I wanted was her pity.
I wanted her to look at me the way she used to. Fuck. Why did life have to be so hard?
“Look, you know about my dad and crap. I didn’t have a lot of people helping me out, so the phone thing didn’t get fixed for a couple of months.” I averted my gaze. “And after two months of me not calling you, I figured, what was the point, you know? What was I gonna say?”
“You could tell the truth, maybe?” Aspyn narrowed her eyes. I could almost see the anger floating off her. “It’s kind of hard not to think you only wanted a one-night stand after all.” She let out a bitter laugh. “You know what the sad thing is? If you’d said you wanted a one-night stand, I would have still agreed. I’d wanted you for so many years, and I was happy to get you any way I could have you.”
“It wasn’t about that.”
Her mouth twitche
d. “You’re the one who said all that stuff about it not being a one-night stand, about how you wanted something more. You’re the one who gave me the hope there could be more, and then you’re the one who never called back.” Her nostrils flared, and her eyes narrowed into angry slits.
A spark of anger flared in me, but I tried to force it back down. I could see why she might think that, and maybe if I’d manned up to begin with, this wouldn’t be going that way.
“But I didn’t want a one-night stand,” I said, maybe a bit too forcefully. Her frown deepened. “Like I said, I had the accident. And then things would have been weird after that. I get that I’m the one in the wrong. I’m not trying to offer an excuse. I’m just trying to explain what happened.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Aspyn crossed her arms over her chest. “What did you think was gonna happen? That you were just gonna stroll back into town, and I’d throw myself at you?”
I shook my head. “No, no. I just wanted to be friends again.” I sighed. “Look, I know I screwed things up. I get that. I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’m only asking you to understand I didn’t mean to ghost you.”
She took a deep breath and then pursed her lips, staring at me with those brown eyes of hers, her dark bangs dipping down. After a painfully long time, she just gave me a nod.
What did that mean? I wasn’t sure. She didn’t seem any more relaxed than before, but at least she wasn’t frowning.
We still had business, though. I’d tried to push the idea out of my mind, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Aspyn’s kid was mine. The timing was about right, and it’d make sense she’d be mad if I’d knocked her up and then ditched her.
I opened my mouth to ask, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“What?” Aspyn asked.
“Your daughter.”
“Kadie. That’s her name. Short for Kadence.”
“She looks a lot like you.”
Aspyn smiled. “I’d hope so.”
My gaze drifted to her hand. No ring. “You’re not married?”