by Claire Adams
“You.”
“Me?”
“Of what you do to me.”
He inhaled deeply. “What is it that I do to you?”
“Make me feel things, think things, that I shouldn’t.”
“And why shouldn’t you?”
I averted my gaze. “Because it’ll lead to other things.”
Alex scooted toward me until he was right in front of me, his hot breath heating my face. “And would that really be so bad?”
“Yes. No. Maybe?” I blinked.
His mouth pressed to mine. I eagerly parted his lips with my tongue to deepen our kiss.
His hands explored my sides, gently skimming down them until landing on my hips.
Alex pulled away, his breathing heavy. “I want to make you moan, Aspyn. I want to make you feel good.”
I gulped. “W-what?”
“I want you,” he said, his gray eyes boring into me. “But I need to know you want it too. That’s not just me being selfish again.”
“I want you. Oh God, how I want you.”
“Do you want me inside you?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Are you sure?”
“Stop talking and get me off already.”
Was it a bad idea? I didn’t know. The last time we’d been together, I ended up pregnant, but I was tired of fighting my attraction. Sleeping together didn’t mean we had to be an item.
I put my arms up, and he pulled off my shirt, tossing it to the ground. My breasts hung in a black bra.
I stood suddenly, causing Alex to frown.
“You don’t want to?” he said.
“I do. Just one sec.” I rushed into my bedroom and rifled through my nightstand until I found a condom packet. It wasn’t like I’d had a chance to even think about using one in the last couple of years, but I wasn’t on the pill at that moment, and I didn’t want to take any chances. Kadie didn’t need a sibling just yet.
I hurried back out to the living room and tossed the foil on the end table. Alex had taken the opportunity to take off his shirt in the meantime. I drank in the sight of the delicious muscles of his chest and arms, both covered by tattoos.
“Ready, huh?” Alex said with a grin.
“Yeah. You could say that.” Before sitting down again, I kicked off my shoes and wiggled out of my jeans. Soon I was there in only my black bra and panties.
I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t invited him into the bedroom. Maybe I wanted something different. I’d never had sex on a couch before, and I figured I might punch that card with Alex.
I undid my bra and threw it to the ground, and then pulled off my panties.
Alex watched me, his eyes lit up with desire. He raked me with a gaze filled with open lust. Warmth pooled at my center. I’d slept with other men before Alex, but no man made me feel as wanted.
“Why are you still wearing clothes?” I said in a sultry voice.
“I don’t have to have my clothes off to handle those tits,” he said.
I shook a finger at him. “I got something special for you if you get naked.”
That did the trick. He all but ripped his clothes off and then sat back down on the couch. I noticed his cock was already standing tall, eager for me.
It was nice to know that just looking at my naked body and kissing could do that to him.
“So, what’s my reward?” he said with a grin.
I dropped to my knees and lowered my mouth, hovering over his thick rod. My tongue flicked out, running over the slit.
Alex hissed. “Damn good reward.”
I dropped my mouth over his cock, taking him in and bathing his shaft with my tongue. I started out slowly, taking him so far in I almost gagged, and then pulling back. I went down and up again. Then again, speeding up and sucking.
I wasn’t sure if I was doing a good job until I looked up and saw Alex’s eyes were closed and his face twitching. I continued to take him in, stopping every few times to run my hand up and down his now slick shaft. That earned a loud groan from Alex.
I dropped my free hand to my clit and began rubbing and circling it. The pleasurable warmth seeping from my center only built.
His cock was rock hard in my mouth and throat as I continued, the sound of his grunts and groans mixing with the pops of my sucks.
“I don’t want to shoot my load down your throat,” Alex said through gritted teeth.
I pulled off with a final loud pop and then pumped his cock several times. He hissed again, and his cock throbbed in my hand.
I grinned up at him and grabbed the condom foil from the table. After a quick rip, I licked the salty precum off his rigid dick then rolled the condom over him.
Alex tried to rise, but I pushed against his chest. He frowned up at me.
Without saying anything, I moved my wet pussy over his condom-clad cock. He grinned at me. I shoved down, crying out as his cock stretched me. I pushed down farther until I was fully seated.
So tight. It’d been three years since anything except my fingers had been inside me, since this cock had been inside me.
Alex reached up and palmed my heavy breasts with his hands, squeezing gently.
“Harder,” I said.
His rough fingers squeezed harder, and I brought myself up and down once. He started kneading my breasts as I rode him, slowly at first, and then faster.
After a few seconds, he started thrusting in time with my movements, pushing himself so deeply into me, I couldn’t help but cry out each time.
The pressure inside me was already overwhelming, and his squeezing and pinching of my nipples only added to it. I leaned over, giving him a better grip on my breasts, and braced myself on either side as his dick continued to slide in and out of me.
Alex let out a loud groan, and his dick swelled with his release. Unlike last time, the warmth of his come inside me was denied. He dropped his arms from my tits but continued to meet me as I shoved down hard on him. It wasn’t long until my own climax exploded through me.
I screamed out in pleasure, my walls tightening around the cock inside me, the sensation bouncing through me. Finally, my mind returned, and I panted, pulling myself off Alex and rolling to his side.
There we lay, naked and spent on my couch in my living room. Alex still wore the condom filled with his seed.
Alex leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.
I was having trouble catching my breath, so I just smiled at him.
“Did you want me to stay?” he said.
I shook my head. I did actually, but as good as what we shared had felt, things were going too far, too fast.
“Okay,” he said, rising. He pulled the condom off and tied it off. “I’ll take care of this, get dressed, and get going.” Once he’d returned from the bathroom and grabbed his underwear, he continued. “I’m not leaving, you know. I bought a house. I’m sticking around.”
I gave him a shallow nod. “I … this was fun, but don’t read more into it than is there.”
For a second, I thought I saw hurt flash in his eyes, but he nodded. “Yeah. I get it.”
It might not have been a one-night stand, but it wasn’t the start of a relationship. I wasn’t ready for that yet.
Chapter 20
Alex
Now that Carl and I owned the McMillian’s land, there was nothing stopping us from taking a little horse ride across the downed fence separating Carl’s property from the newly purchased lot. So we did just that Tuesday morning. A little morning inspection of our new domain, I guess you could call it.
I chuckled as I surveyed the sorry remains of the barrier. They said that good fences made good neighbors. So what did the rotted remains of a former fence make?
From what Carl had told me earlier, nobody had bothered to take down the fence. Time and the weather had destroyed most of the wood. I’m sure it’d been impressive enough years ago, but now it wasn’t stopping anything but dignity.
Carl had built his own fence to keep his cows in, so I
guess it hadn’t mattered much to him. He’d been too busy and short-handed to worry about much more, and the McMillians had left years before and stopped caring even before that. It’s not like they had any horses or cattle to worry about.
I wished I could say the same. My horse nickered, almost as if he could read my mind. Just what I needed, a lippy horse.
I looked up and down the remains of the fence and shook my head. “We got to clean this mess up, Carl. This is just sad.”
“Huh?” Carl said, his horse a couple yards behind me.
I pulled off my cowboy hat and used it to gesture toward the fence line for emphasis. “It looks like crap having a bunch of rotting wood.” I slipped my hat back on. “And it’ll attract termites.”
I wasn’t even sure why I mentioned the termites. It had seemed like a good way to motivate him to help clean up the fence.
“I’ll keep that in mind, Mr. Fancy Pants,” Carl said with a grin. “But first things first. We’re both gonna have a lot of other stuff keeping us both busy for a while. I don’t care much about termites in the middle of the pastureland, bro, and the only thing we need to impress people with is our animals.”
I snickered after thinking about it. Yeah, Carl was right. There was no reason to care about this stupid fence.
So why did I care so much? I guessed now that I was part-owner of the land, suddenly I was worrying about eyesores. I had an investment in it, so I cared.
Maybe it was that it’d been a long time since I had an investment in anything.
That little realization brought a lot of things about my life the last 13 years into focus. Maybe that was why I’d lived my life the way I had, nothing permanent, no responsibilities, no worries. Not having to care about the future meant nothing I had to really care about other than getting through the day.
Some people might have said that was sad and pathetic. I was starting to become the kind of person who would say that exact thing.
My new house stood in the distance. We’d already checked it out before during our first walkthrough, so I knew there were no major projects needed to make it livable, but now it was time to be more thorough.
It wasn’t just about me knowing what I needed to fix, but more about me knowing what I needed to do to make it into a home for not only me but also for Kadie.
I wasn’t exactly an interior decorator, but from what I remembered before, it looked like the McMillians hadn’t updated much since the Russians were still Soviets. The whole place was too old lady for my tastes.
I pulled my reins slightly to the side to guide my horse toward the house.
There was something pretty satisfying about traveling around on a horse. Having your ride be alive made you a team in a way that driving a truck just didn’t match.
It’d been a long time since I’d been on a horse, but, hell, like they said, sometimes you had to get back in the saddle.
The closer we rode to my house, the more I thought about my old life in Texas.
No worries? What a joke. I’d done nothing, avoided living, really. Then, I’d had my accident, and I did nothing but worry. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have ended up back in Livingston.
Even before the accident had given me nightmares, I wasn’t exactly happy. I wasn’t sad either. I just existed. Day-to-day, no real cares, no real hopes.
That was the past, though. I had a future, if not with Aspyn, then at least as Kadie’s father. My nightmares had all but vanished with my return to my hometown, and that had to mean something. I was convinced I’d made the right choice.
Aspyn’s moans from the previous night popped into my memory, and I shook my head. I didn’t want to be distracted by that just then, even if my cock stirred at the memory.
I didn’t regret the night before, but I also wasn’t sure if I was ready to accept that we’d had sex again, but we still weren’t a couple. Aspyn had made that clear.
There was no one even left to blame. We’d both made our mistakes, and maybe we needed to climb out from under those before we could move forward. And that assumed Aspyn even cared to move forward.
After arriving at the house, we dismounted and tied our horses to a hitching post in the back of the house.
“I forgot to tell you, bro,” Carl said. “The lawyer said he can talk to us tomorrow about starting the partnership paperwork.”
“Good,” I said. The more things I had tying me down, the better. The truth was, even then, a part of me wanted to find an excuse to run, to hide. I wanted to go back to seeking the fake half-life where I pretended I had no worries. “For now, though, let’s do another walkthrough of my new house to make sure we didn’t miss anything the first time.”
At least that was the idea. We’d brought little notepads and pencils to take notes. I wanted a project list divided up into the next few days, weeks, and months for both repairs and cosmetic work.
The minute we’d entered the place, my mind drifted from home improvement to Aspyn’s luscious breasts, tight pussy, and tongue.
I hardened again at the memory of her going down on me and then my cock inside her. Carl wasn’t paying much attention to my jeans, so he didn’t notice. Or if he did, he didn’t say anything. Thank God.
I’d been convinced that a friendship with Aspyn was possible but wasn’t sure if anything more was on the table. I wanted it, ached for it, but thought three years of ghosting, on purpose or not, was too much to overcome. At least anytime soon.
The night before, though, combined with all those years of longing from before and my memory of our night of the reunion. Even then, I could feel her tits in my hands, her nipples hard, as I thrust my cock into her tightness.
I only barely stopped myself from grunting. I didn’t care why it happened or how it happened. All I cared about is how I could make it happen again.
She’d blown it off as nothing more than a little fun, and it was that, but it was also addictive fun. Just like Aspyn.
I realized how out of it I was about 30 minutes into the walkthrough when Carl shook my shoulder.
“Alex, you all right, bro?”
I blinked and looked over at him. “I-I’m fine.”
“You just seem out of it.”
“Tired is all,” I said.
Maybe I should have learned my lesson about honesty after everything that had happened between me and Aspyn, but I wasn’t ready to spill my guts to Carl yet. Besides, if I kept thinking about what we’d done the night before, I was going to have to go hide in a bathroom and take care of myself with own hand.
I needed a distraction, something more interesting than writing down how many blinds I needed to buy.
“So, what’s up with you and Perri?” I said.
Carl blinked. “Huh? Where did that come from?”
“Just wondering.” I shrugged. “I mean, I know I’m not exactly a guy who should talk, considering all the crap that’s happened between Aspyn and me, but you and Perri seem like more a regular thing.”
“Regular thing?”
“I guess.” I knelt and realized the baseboards in the room were more damaged than I’d seen before. They’d need to be replaced. I wrote that down. “Except for all this on-off crap.”
“Some of that was your fault, you know. Well, that and Aspyn’s”
I stood, frowning. “What?”
“I got caught up in all the lies about your kid, and Perri thought I was taking your side or whatever.”
Guilt washed over me. The last thing I wanted to do was screw up my friend’s chance at happiness. “Sorry. I didn’t know.”
Carl grinned and waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it, though. It’s all good now, bro. The real problem is Perri.”
“What do you mean? You’ve been into her since high school.” I looked him up and down. “You even date anyone else?”
“A few, here and there.” He shrugged. “Not for years, though. But you know how it is. I’m into her, bro.”
I stared at him. “What do you mean?”
<
br /> “I’ve wanted to marry her for a while.”
I almost dropped my pencil. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” Carl grinned. “What can I say? Why shop around when I already found the perfect woman for me?”
“You never mentioned this to me before.” I nodded toward the next room and started walking that way.
“It’s not something I wanted to drop in an email, you know? Look, Alex, you’ve been gone, and you’ve kept your distance.”
I grimaced and offered him a nod over my shoulder. “Yeah, I guess I have.”
“I know you had your reasons, but it’s hard to talk about this kind of thing with someone if they aren’t here and seeing everything.”
“Fair enough.” I looked up at the ceiling and around the walls. Peeling paint but nothing that a little repainting couldn’t handle. I wrote it down in my notepad. “So what’s the problem, then? Too chickenshit to ask her to marry you?”
“She wants to keep it casual.” Carl shrugs. He opened his mouth to say something else, but then shut it.
“Isn’t that enough?”
“I love her, bro. I want more. I-She …” He grunted and shrugged.
“What?”
“Nothing. I’ll ask her eventually. Every man does.” He shrugged.
We locked gazes for a moment, and then I nodded.
“I didn’t know it was so serious,” I said.
“Yeah, well, there it is.” Carl frowned. “I don’t know how to get her to see it. She’s so stubborn. Damn if I don’t love that about her most of the time, but it’s screwing me over me now.”
“What are you gonna do about it?”
“I’ll deal with it. Been dealing with it for years now. It’s just …”
“What?”
He averted his eyes. “Nothing.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” he snapped and then rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry. I’m being a little bitch. Maybe I’m jealous how you got Aspyn and a kid already.”
“Sure, but I’m not dating Aspyn, and Kadie was …” I couldn’t bring myself to say she was a mistake. A mistake or accident. Those words would make it sound like I didn’t want her. “She wasn’t planned.”