by Claire Adams
“Luke, talk to me. I'm not sure what is going on.”
I turned and walked into the kitchen, the sound of her footsteps behind me. I pulled a glass from the cabinet and the whiskey from the top of the fridge and poured me a full glass. I tipped the liquid back and reveled in the burn.
“I don't understand why you’re angry with me.” Her arms were crossed in front of her, and when I looked at her face she was rolling her bottom lip between her teeth like she did when she was worried.
“Oh, I don't know, Emerson? Maybe because you insist on hanging out with a man you know I don't like.”
“Luke, I don't understand what you are talking about.”
“And have dinner together and lunch,” I rambled on. “And sharing umbrellas and walking arm in arm.”
“What?” Her forehead scrunched up.
“Oh, didn't think I knew about how close you and Christopher really are?”
“Were you in Portland yesterday?” Her eyes widened, but she still maintained her confused facade.
“Yeah, I came to surprise you.” I shrugged. “Seems I was the one in for a surprise. Seems that you and Chris have had something going on. He’s been telling me for months. And I didn’t believe it.”
“That isn't what happened.” Her hands were now balled in fists beside her.
“Oh really? I saw what I saw, and what I saw was a girl and a guy cuddled up under an umbrella all cozy like, laughing as they walked through the rain to go have lunch together alone. There isn't much else you can see in that.”
She stood there looking at me with disbelief, tears welling up in her eyes.
“It's not fun being found out, huh?” I poured more amber liquid into the glass and lifted it to my mouth needing the burn to focus me.
She shook her head softly and her voice quietened. “If you honestly believe that's what you saw, then it doesn't matter what I say to you at this point. You’re not going to believe me anyway.” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she turned away from me.
I swiveled around to face the kitchen. Her footsteps echoed down the hall, and then my door slammed. When I heard her screen door slam, I turned and walked out into the yard. Heat began rising up my throat and I knew for the first time in years, I might cry.
I’d thought she was different, but she was exactly like my ex. I still couldn't even say her name after all of the years. And there I was, history repeating itself, except this time I was in love with her.
I stood in the yard and looked skyward, searching for signs I might have missed. Other than the distance that had come between us, most of them had been from Chris. Her door opened, and she stomped out into the yard stopping directly in front of me.
“I walked under an umbrella to a restaurant where three other co-workers were waiting. Something I have done a hundred times with Chris, John, and Robbie, and probably other guys over the years I haven’t thought twice about. Every time, I try to stay close to the person so we can both stay under the fucking umbrella, and I would do the same with Ryan or you.” She poked me in the chest as she spoke. “I can't make this jealousy issue you have, or whatever it is, go away, and apparently being honest with you doesn't work either. I have never been with Chris and have never wanted to be. Since I got here, there has only been you. I don't know what else you want me to say. You told me that we were wiping the slate clean, and here you are with your insecurities hanging out all over the place, and instead of talking to me you made assumptions that were very wrong. Is that why you fucked me the way you did when you got home Sunday? Because of your insecurities? Did Chris tell you something else that you halfway believed? That’s a dick move, Luke!” She shoved my chest and turned to walk away.
I grabbed her arm and jerked her back to face me. I lowered my face and looked her in the eyes. “Then how does he know about your scar?” I said between gritted teeth.
Her eyes widened, and then a look I didn’t recognize crossed her features.
“Chris told you I have a scar?”
“He’s told me a lot of things.” I raised an eyebrow, cocking my head to the side. “He's told me about you warming his bed when you are in Portland. He told me exactly where the scar is and what it’s shaped like.”
She took a step back from me and shook her head.
“What? Can't handle the truth?”
“No, I'm trying to figure out how you could even believe that I would do that to you.” Her hands went to her jeans, she undid them and shimmied them over her hips, leaving her panties on, and pointed at the scar.
“You can see it when I have a bathing suit on,” she said with a tone that all but told me I’m an idiot. “Chris has been to my grandparents’ house dozens of times over the years, and this scar has been here since I was eight.”
I wanted to believe her, but my mind was running wild.
“And I don’t even know what the inside of Chris’ house looks like. I stay with Granddad and Mimi when I am in Portland. Here, call them, ask them.” She reached into her back pocket, pulled her phone out, and shoved it into my chest.
My heart was hammering as I started to realize that maybe I had overreacted to a bunch of bullshit Chris had planted in my head.
“Chris has been hitting on me since middle school, and I have never gone there. Even with my mother pushing me, I wouldn't. And I sure as hell wouldn't have started this with you and then turned to him. I am not that person.” Tears were flowing down her face. “This is the closest to love I have ever felt, and I wouldn't do anything to mess that up. I am terrified that my life is going to move and yours is here, and I'm going to end up devastated.” She stepped closer to me. “But you were worth the risk. I wanted you for as long as I could have you.”
She looked into my eyes, and I knew then that I was, in fact, and idiot. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. She was telling me the truth and had been all along. When Ryan had told me last night to get out of my head, I hadn't understood, but I did now. Chris was a prick, and I knew that, yet I’d believed him as if his word was gold. He took advantage of her and had tried everything he could to get to her, even going through me. I reached my hands toward her face and used my thumbs to wipe the tears from under her eyes.
“I'm sorry.” I didn't know what else to say.
“You're an asshole!” she halfway shouted at me. “You should be sorry.”
I nodded because it was true. I pulled her to me. She didn't fight me. She wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest.
“What am I going to do with you and your damned imagination?” she mumbled.
“You are something everyone wants, and I don't want to share.”
“You are never going to have to share me. Well, maybe with Ryan, but you know how needy he is.” She leaned back and looked at me.
“Can we please get Chris out of our relationship for good? I don't like him being involved.” I took her face in my hands and pressed my lips softly against hers.
“I don't either.”
“I'll talk to him next time I'm in the office. I won’t stand for him saying things about me that aren't true.”
I kissed her again, and as if on cue, Ryan’s truck came rumbling down the driveway.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Emerson
“You two are giving me whiplash.” Ryan smiled when he saw us standing together in the kitchen.
“We’re good.” Luke leaned over and kissed my temple. I continued to cut the vegetables and dropped them in the pan beside me.
“Here, take this out to the grill.” Luke shoved a plate at Ryan.
“No makeup sex while I'm here, unless I can watch.” He wiggled his eyebrows, and I laughed.
“Out.” Luke shoved him.
“Geez, you see how he treats me?” Ryan said over his shoulder as he moved out to the grill.
“I really am sorry.” Luke dropped a kiss on my lips before he followed Ryan out of the house.
We spent the night sitting outside until the bugs start
ed to eat us alive. Ryan left shortly after we headed into the house. I stood at the screen door watching as the moon got higher into the sky. Luke’s arms wrapped around me, and I sank into his chest.
“I don't want you to go,” he said softly into my ear.
“I don't want to go either.” I turned in his arms. He lifted my face so his beard was tickling my chin. His eyes crinkled around the edges and leaned in a gave me a soft kiss. When he pulled back, he licked his lips and kissed me again. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but it was intimate, one that let me know how he felt.
I pulled away from him and walked toward the stairs. He followed me to his room. I pulled my shirt over my head and pushed my jeans over my hips leaving my bra and panties in place. He did the same, and we climbed in bed. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him.
I woke with Luke still holding me. I moved, and he tugged me closer.
“I've got to use the restroom.” I kissed his bicep, and he released me. I used the restroom and washed my hands before brushing my teeth. I walked back into the bedroom and found Luke sprawled on his back, one arm behind his head the other resting on his chest. I crawled back in the bed and wiggled under his arm, placing my face against the smattering of hair over his pecs.
“What’s on the agenda for the day?” he said. The deep timber of his voice tickled my eardrum.
“I really have to work on this report and get it sent in,” I said tracing my finger over the lines of his abs.
“Do it here. I’ll be working on the plans for my next table, so I'll be inside all day.”
I nodded then closed my eyes, falling asleep again.
Luke pushed me to my back easily, waking me up, and then smiled down at me. His hair fell over his face, and his beard rubbed against my neck as he moved closer to kiss me. His lips feathered across mine, and I leaned forward to deepen this kiss. He pulled back and smiled.
“Not yet.” He pushed away from me, and when I lost his warmth, I shivered. He looked down at me and lifted the blanket to cover me.
“You don't have to get up, but I need to.” He turned and walked into the bathroom. I heard the shower come on, and I stood, walking toward the bathroom. I pulled my panties and my bra off and pulled the curtain back, stepping in behind him. My cold hands caused him to jump when they connected with the skin on his back. I reached for the soap and poured a little in my hand. I ran them over his back, feeling the muscle contract with each pass. The swell of his ass was too tempting, and I found my hands running over it and then around to his front. He turned and pulled me against him.
“I wasn't expecting this.” He kissed me harder than he had since I came back. I leaned into his chest the warmth of his skin seeping into mine. Water dripped from his face and onto mine as he moved his mouth gracefully against mine. I could feel him swelling between us, pushing against my belly asking for attention. I took him in my hand and then lowered my body until my mouth was almost to him. I licked him softly, never taking my eyes off his. He watched me carefully as I moved. Swirling my tongue over his length, his body trembled with each pass.
I knew I was doing something right when his head fell back, and he said my name. Maybe I was inexperienced in these kinds of things, but it couldn't be that hard if what I was doing felt that good. I took him into my mouth, feeling him bump the back of my throat. He groaned again, and then his fingers found the back of my head. He pushed me against him, and I let him. He was moving his hips in line with my movements, and then he reached down and pulled me up and against him.
“Not like this,” he said and turned me into the hot stream of water. He washed my hair and body, turning the water off and grabbing a towel to dry me off with. He walked me to the bed and then sat me down, looking over my body. I fought the instinct to cover myself and let him take me in. His cock was still hard and jutting out almost at my eye level, and I reached for it. He pulled back and smiled down at me.
“When I come, I want it to be inside of you, feeling you come around me, not in your mouth with you on your knees.” I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He sat on the bed beside me and pushed my wet hair out of my face. And then he said again. “While that seems to be every man’s dream, I’m not every man. To me that’s degrading, the part about you being on your knees.”
I blushed fiercely and looked away from him. He pulled my face back to his. “I will always respect you, Em. Always.”
“So, I didn't do anything wrong?” I squeaked out.
“Of course not. You did everything right.” He smiled and pushed at my hair again. “I know I’ve been an asshole, and I'm so sorry for that. I want you to know that I am all in, and there won't be any more assumptions made. I will talk to you, and we will figure it out together if I ever feel jealous. And let me make one thing clear: you will never be less than me. We walk side by side in this, and that is how it will always be, okay?” He looked into my eyes, and the smile that came across my face widened.
There we sat naked and wet from a shower that I had tried to crash, and he was being super sweet. The Luke that I was quickly falling for. He cupped my cheek then kissed me. The kiss turned hot, and soon we were tangled together in the sheets.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Luke
I watched her as she typed her knees pulled up beside her resting on the chair that I was sitting in. Her hair was pulled up on top of her head, and her glasses were on the tip of her nose. I smiled over at her. She looked up and smiled back.
“What?” She asked.
“You're too cute.” I reached over and tapped the end of her nose. She smiled then looked back at her screen, fingers moving over the keyboard as she worked. She worked for the rest of the morning, concentrating on her report. I leaned over her a few times to see what she was doing, but she swatted me away.
“Don't distract me.”
I laid a sandwich beside her and watched as she picked it up and took a bite. She nodded in appreciation and then went straight back to work. I finished my plans, called Ryan, and started dinner while she did. I’d seen people that could ignore everything around them, but she was a pro.
“You hear anything I just said to you?” I asked.
“Yes. Salad. Tuna steaks. Ready in fifteen minutes,” she repeated, never looking at me, but I saw her smile as she continued to work.
I pulled the last piece of tuna off the grill and turned to find her sitting in the chair, watching me.
“You really should wear a shirt more often.” She stuck her tongue out at me.
“I haven't had one on all day.”
“I know, and that's why I have had to completely ignore you.” She smirked before standing and taking the plate from my hands.
“So, if I don't wear a shirt, it increases my chances of getting laid?” I crowded her against the countertop, and she giggled.
“Your chances are always in the very high nineties, shirt or no shirt. Just flash those baby blues and drag that beard across my skin, and I'm done.” She laughed.
“Noted,” I laughed and nuzzled her neck.
She plated the food while I poured us wine, and we met at the table sitting down and chatting about nothing.
“I should have this done in the next day or so. It is amazing to me that this research didn't take longer than it did. I had enough grant money to keep me going for another four months.”
“So, you are almost done?”
“For the most part.” She smiled. “I have plenty of time on the lease, so I think I am going to try and do some work from here for a while. Granddad will be back in the office more now that the doctor cleared him for full-time work, but he did tell me that January first, the company is mine to do what I want to with,” she said nonchalantly.
“That's great.” I wanted to be excited, but a time stamp being placed on us made me a little weary.
“I think so.” She looked up from her plate, cocked her head to the side, and studied me.
“We can make this work, L
uke. I know that long distance isn't necessarily something that you want or I want for that matter, but I don't see flushing this when it's only an hour or so. It's not like I'm moving back to Maine.” She sat her fork down and lifted her wine glass. “We’ll figure it out.”
“I hope so.” I smiled then tipped my wine glass toward hers.
We cleaned the kitchen, and then went out on the porch, drank coffee, and just enjoyed the sound of the soft rain as it fell. There were moments that I knew I would always remember, and this was one.
***
I was yanked from sleep by a crash outside. I jumped from the bed and rushed down the stairs. Grabbing my shotgun that was perched by the door. The door to my workshop was swinging open by one hinge and the garage door was pushed in. I slowly made my way over to the door poking my head in to make sure it wasn't a bear. I didn't see anything, so I flipped the light. The table that I had been working on was broken, my ax was on the floor with most of my other tools. I looked around but didn't see anything that was scratched like a bear had broken the door. It looked as if someone had done this.
“Luke?” I jerked as Emmy walked into the shop, her hand covering her mouth. “What happened?” She asked as her hand slid to her throat.
“I don't know, maybe a bear?” I didn't want to scare her, but I needed to figure out what had happened. “Let's go back inside. It may still be close.” I pushed her out of the shop and across the yard toward the door. “Stay here.” I said as I walked out the front and jumped in my truck. I backed it as close to the building as I could, trying to block off the door. I didn't want anyone taking anything out of there if I could help it. The machinery was expensive, and with me giving Ryan all of my winnings from the season to buy the other half of the house, I didn't have the money to replace any of it. I pulled Emmy close to me when I finally got back in the bed, and she snuggled in close. I kissed her neck and then laid there trying to figure out what had happened.
***
“Can you come out here today?” I asked Ryan when he answered the phone.