I read the note as I rode down and back up again.
Dear Lainey,
As always, I delighted in your company, and that of your aunt’s, this past weekend. I urge you to join us here next year, as your acceptance is guaranteed, so that we may make dinners together a regular occurrence. However, so you can make the most informed choice, I’ve also arranged dinners for you and my nephew in Boston with several prominent alumni of both your prospective schools.
I understand the difficulty of your decision, Lainey, but feel certain after our last meeting that you now understand all the possible advantages. I know you’ll make the right choice. Let’s talk again soon.
Yours, D.A.
It was strange how the note could make my stomach flutter with excitement and apprehension, but then, much in my life was strange. Though I knew the difficult decision he wanted to talk about had nothing to do with colleges, I looked forward to the dinners he’d arranged—it made me feel a bit like a celebrity, in the best possible way. I wondered if this is how people close to the senator always felt.
My biggest concern in all this was actually Mandi. Not her revelation, but her threat. What was she up to, and why? I’d heard the rumors about Senator Astor becoming the next President—we’d even talked about them over dinner last weekend—but I’d gotten the impression he wasn’t as decided on running as everyone else was. He already had one presidency to deal with, and I couldn’t imagine it would be easy to hide his connection to the Perceptum as President of the United States. Though, for all I knew, it might help him get the job, not disqualify him from it.
Maybe it was an odd notion that Dan would approach a high school girl to help his potential presidential campaign, but it made perfect sense to me. Not only was she a close family friend, I counted many ways Alexis could be an asset. She was going to Georgetown, too, so she’d be right there in D.C.
But she wasn’t there yet and something was up. Except for Honor Board, we generally ignored each other this year, almost as if by unspoken agreement. But then here was Mandi, complicating everything. I wondered if she was doing Alex’s dirty work, between her flirtation with Caleb and her new threats. This, at least, was a problem I could handle directly.
I’D NEVER ACTIVELY sought out Alexis before—usually it was the other way around—but it wasn’t like she was hard to find. For one, we had two classes together, and otherwise, she was a campus star. If I didn’t know where she was, all I had to do was ask anyone. Tonight, all I had to do was guess.
After I left the library, I headed across the street, grabbing a to-go cup from the coffee shop right before it closed and then over to the bookstore. Since I usually wasn’t there, and Carter was, I figured that was Alexis’s most likely location. And I was right, because that’s where I found her, sitting on the couch where I usually did. Next to the guy I usually sat next to.
Carter stood up when he saw me, leaving Alexis alone on the couch and glaring at me from behind his back. He didn’t look guilty, not exactly. More like apologetic. Like he hoped I wouldn’t be mad.
“Well this is a nice surprise,” he said as he met me at the edge of the lounge, plucking the coffee out of my hand and sweeping me into a tight hug. That was one thing about Carter; he was never afraid to be affectionate, even in the middle of the crowded bookstore, even though it always made me blush. “What’s up, gorgeous?”
I planted a quick kiss on his cheek before I squirmed out of his arms and reclaimed my coffee. “Maybe I should ask you that,” I said. It was not entirely sarcastic.
In return, I got his measured look, the one that meant he was deciding whether to say something. “Sorry. She needed help with physics and I couldn’t resist.” After a pause, he leaned down, a sexy smile spreading from his lips to his eyes, and added, “But I kind of like it when you’re jealous.”
Ignoring my usual reserve, I stepped even closer and ran my hand down his stomach. I was rewarded with an intake of breath and an eager look in his eyes. In my most seductive voice, I said, “Well, I actually came here to see her, not you, so maybe you’re the one who should be jealous.”
Carter’s eager look morphed into confusion and then curiosity, before he laughed and grabbed my hand. He kissed it lightly and took a step out of the lounge. “I am jealous. And I’m also done here tonight. Come upstairs after”—he glanced over his shoulder at Alexis—“whatever you’re doing with her?”
I shouldn’t have, but I agreed, and then watched Carter stride off to the staircase behind the counter that led up to their apartment. I waved at Melinda where she sat behind the register. Alexis was still glaring at me when I returned my attention to the lounge. It was clear she’d been watching our entire exchange. Interestingly enough, none of her friends had claimed the rest of the open couch. I wondered just how often she sat here alone on Wednesday nights and needed help with her physics.
Without invitation, I sat next to her, taking a sip from my coffee and watching the fire while I decided what to say. Alexis looked as effortlessly beautiful as ever tonight. Her dark hair, so similar in color to mine, fell perfectly over her shoulder to catch the flickering light from the fireplace.
“Lainey.” She said my name like it tasted bitter. “This isn’t a nice surprise, by the way.”
Her attitude loosened my tongue and excused my manners. “I just want you to call off your little dog.”
She glanced at me. “I wish I knew what you were talking about, but I don’t.”
“Right.” I felt her shrug next to me. When I finally turned to face her, she was watching the fire, just like I’d been. I truly sensed no dishonesty from her. In fact, if asked, I’d have said she was trying to hide her curiosity behind indifference. “I mean Mandi,” I clarified. “You know, your cousin.”
“I know who she is, Young. What about her?”
I was starting to feel kind of stupid and the answer tumbled out of me awkwardly. “She…threatened me at work hours today. And she’s up to something. With Caleb.”
Alexis actually frowned before the annoyed mask slipped back into place and she began examining her pristine fingernails for chips. “I haven’t the slightest idea why she’s interested in Sullivan. Though maybe I should be telling you to keep your roommate in line. She started the threatening, as I understand it.” Alexis put on her best sneer. “Mandi’s probably just trying to keep your crazy away from me. She’s protective of her family that way.”
Touché. After taking a sip of my coffee and counting to five, I did the hard thing. “You know what? I’m sorry, Alex. I assumed you were involved and I was wrong.” She looked at me with open confusion as I gathered my bag and stood. “And that problem set from physics was hard, so I’m going to go get some help of my own. Bye.” I was just stepping away when she called to me softly.
“Lainey? I don’t know what she’s up to. Honest.”
I nodded. “I believe you.” And I did. Mandi might have been her cousin, but apparently she wasn’t her puppet. I hoped she wouldn’t turn out to be something worse.
WHAT SHE TURNED out to be was a pest. Like a mosquito, buzzing close to my ear but never in reach. I barely saw Mandi in the following weeks, but she seemed to be in everything. This is what I was thinking while I sat on that same bookstore couch and listened to—another—argument between my roommate and her boyfriend.
“Seriously, Caleb? You’re already leaving?”
“You knew I couldn’t stay!”
“But you’ve only been here, like, five minutes.”
He’d really been there closer to an hour. Long enough for them to have spent possibly more than five minutes making out while I tried to ignore that, too. I carefully shifted my foot out from underneath me on the couch, before it fell asleep or my pants got too wrinkled, while trying not to draw attention to my continued presence.
Caleb dropped his head back and rubbed his eyes. “I told you already: I. Have. To. Work.” Which meant tutoring. Which meant Mandi.
“You always ha
ve to work.” Amy flopped her legs off his lap with a huge sigh.
“That whole scholarship thing, you know? It’s kind of important.” Caleb shoved his books in his bag with great determination. From across the room, Carter caught my eye, frowning in our direction. If he could hear them, everyone could.
I was about to say something when I heard a gentle throat clearing next to me. I startled and turned to find one of my Sanderson girls, Mandi’s roommate, standing at my elbow and looking entirely uncomfortable.
“Hi,” she said.
“Um, hey Chels.” I glanced over my shoulder at my bickering friends. “Have you been standing there long?”
She shook her head, though obviously she had. “I was hoping I could talk to you.”
“Sure.” To Amy, I called, “I’ll be back,” but she wasn’t really listening.
“I’m sorry my dad’s not a surgeon,” I heard Caleb saying as I mercifully followed Chelsea to one of the small tables by the windows.
“Sorry about that,” I said to her, even though it wasn’t my fight, but she nodded like she understood. Which maybe she did.
“Are they fighting about Mandi?”
“Um.” I, along with everyone else in the room, watched Caleb stomp out the door and close it too hard, making the little bell ring like it was caught in a storm.
Chelsea traced lines on the table with her finger. “I hear her talking to him sometimes,” she said, voice low. “She likes to say tutor like it means boyfriend. But then she sneaks to the Cove with Patch Jacobsen, you know? And I think his roommate too. Geoff?”
“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” I didn’t really want to talk about the Cove with a seventh grader, or about Mandi’s romantic endeavors. But it was my job to be here for the girls, so I tried not to look like I’d almost rather be back listening to my roommate fight.
“Not really,” Chelsea said. “I just…I was wondering if you thought it would be possible to change rooms? Maybe after Winter break? Or Thanksgiving?”
Oh. “Are you uncomfortable with your current situation?” That was what I’d been coached to ask.
“No!” she said, too quickly. “No, I just, I’m really good friends with Sejal Daga, you know? And we’re both in seventh, and we hoped we could switch to room together.”
“Have you talked to your dorm attendant?”
She shook her head. “I thought I’d ask you first. I didn’t want Mrs. Devlin to think…I just wondered if it was possible?”
Truth was, I didn’t know. “Part of the boarding school experience is learning to resolve differences.” Another thing I was coached to say. “But if you’re uncomfortable…”
Chelsea looked down again. “Mandi and I just have really different interests.” She looked back up at me. “It’s not that she’s…she’s just hard to be around. I feel like it’s all boys all the time, and I…I’m not even sure…”
Oh. “That’s a lot to be dealing with.” She nodded and drew in a breath like it was the fullest one she’d had in a while.
“It’s even worse, with my—you know.”
I nodded. It was hard enough to be thirteen, but even harder as a Sententia—that’s when our gifts typically started to manifest. That’s also why Northbrook eventually added the lower grades. “How’s that going?”
“It’s mostly easy, so far. It started last year, so it’s not, like, new, but…” She looked around, checking if anyone might overhear. “Well, I sense love.”
“A Cupid!” That’s what Carter had once called love detectors. I thought that would be a delightful gift, despite the name. Like my inverse.
“Yeah.”
“That’s great!”
Except Chelsea didn’t look like it was great. “Yeah, I guess. My mom already wants me to become a marriage counselor and join her practice.” She sighed. “But it’s not always love, the nice kind I mean, like you and Carter have.” Her eyes flicked to Carter, who was momentarily sitting on the couch with Amy. When he glanced our way and saw us looking, he smiled. Chelsea smiled back and quickly ducked her eyes, but I caught their telltale flash as she powered up her gift.
“See?” she said, voice low as it all poured out of her. “Well, you can’t, I guess. But I can. He’s so sweet, and he, I mean, he loves you. Totally. I see it like shades of colors, I guess, and yours—yours is real love and it’s like nuclear bright. That’s the best, and it’s so uncommon. My mom tells me to look for those. Mr. and Mrs. Revell are like that too. You guys are really lucky.”
“Thank you,” I said, which seemed a better response than I know. “But it’s not always what you see, huh?”
She shook her head, and I didn’t miss how her eyes darted to Amy and back. “Sometimes…sometimes it changes. What used to be red is turning purple, fracturing. And then, well, around Mandi there’s always so much yellow.”
I could guess what yellow was. “And that’s more like…”
She nodded. “Lust, I guess. It’s not real love, though people don’t always know the difference. Sometimes she means to bring it out and other times not. And I mean, there’s tons of yellow all over school. You should see how much yellow is in the dining hall when you or Alexis walk around, or even in here”—she gestured just with her fingertips toward the rest of the lounge—“but it’s different with Mandi, because of what she is. That’s not…well, she doesn’t do it on purpose all the time. It’s hard for her. I get that. But it’s hard for me, too. It’s just so bright. I don’t try to see it, but I can’t help it. It’s exhausting.” She dropped her voice to near whisper. “Especially when I don’t even like boys.”
I thought Chelsea was being very mature about this and I told her so. I don’t know why I was forever thinking that other gifts were better, or easier, than mine. They all came with challenges.
“Thanks, I guess.” She smiled shyly, but seemed pleased. I remembered how she was the one to tell everyone about me and Carter on our first day at Sanderson.
“I don’t know about changing rooms, but I think your reasoning is fair. If you want me to go with you to talk to Mrs. Devlin, I will. And I’m glad you felt you could talk to me. About everything.”
Chelsea gave a great shrug of her small shoulders, though she was still smiling. “I mean, I’m supposed to talk to you, right? And…I thought you wouldn’t tell anyone. You’re not like that.”
She was right. So many secrets were safe with me.
Amy was glaring at her homework, and the rest of the world, when I sat back down with her. “What was that about?”
“She just needed to talk for a while. She wants to change rooms.”
“Isn’t that Worthing-twit’s roommate?”
“Yes,” I sighed. I shouldn’t even have told her that much. Though she would just have assumed the problem anyway.
“See, she’s a menace.” Amy closed her notebook with a thwack.
She kind of was, it was true. Two Honor Board meetings had mentioned her on the periphery, though she wasn’t in any real trouble. But she wasn’t a menace to the extent my roommate believed. She’d blame Mandi for it raining today, if she could. In fact, Mandi was under Amy’s skin so deep I wasn’t sure how to dig her out.
“She’s done nothing wrong to Chelsea, as far as I know. Things are sometimes more complex than you think.”
“As far as you know, she’s flirting with my boyfriend over algebra and earth science right now. Did you know he’s tutoring her in science too?”
“Ame.” I grabbed her hand and she bit her lip. Sometimes my fiery friend didn’t realize she’d gone overboard until someone pulled her out of the water. “Yeah, I know. But it’s what he’s supposed to do, and he’s good at it. I think you need to give Caleb a little break. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”
She looked down. “So everything is my fault?”
I squeezed her hand again and resisted the urge to sigh. “Ame, no. Listen, let’s go get a coffee? And talk.”
“Don’t you have to leave?�
�
That’s right; I did. And I could see Carter striding out from behind the counter, hair newly combed and car keys in hand, for our final trip to the city. I’d practically forgotten. With everything else going on, college seemed impossibly far away, a figment of my imagination. But it wasn’t, if I made it that far. The last of the college dinners Dan had arranged was tonight.
I gave Amy a swift hug before I stood up and slipped on my coat. “You’re right. I’m sorry. We’ll talk later, okay?”
“Sure,” she said, like she was saying whatever. “Have fun.”
“Ready?” Carter said to me, as he took first my bag and then my hand.
“Yeah. Bye, Ame.”
“Bye,” Carter echoed. She waved at us, but it was more like a dismissal than goodbye.
On our way out of the store, I leaned in and asked Carter, “So what’d you say to her? When I was talking to Chelsea.” He looked awesome tonight, having changed into the stylish jeans I called his “fancy pants” and a button down that made his blue eyes bluer. I wished we had special dinners all the time.
He shook his head. “Nothing, really. She apologized and said she ‘didn’t want to talk about it.’ Which is fine, because I don’t really think I’m the guy she needs to talk to about the scene they were making.” I sighed and he squeezed my hand. We both said bye to Melinda as we passed behind the counter and into the back room. “What were you talking about, with Chelsea Agro?”
“Switching rooms and…other stuff.”
“Stuff about her roommate?” When I shrugged, he chuckled. “Seems like Mandi Worthington is part of every conversation we have lately.”
“So let’s not talk about her the rest of tonight then. Did you know Chelsea is a Cupid?”
“No, but it would have been my guess.”
I glanced over at his pretty profile, lit only by the service lights in the back of the store. “She said you loooove me.”
His eyes met mine and he smiled. “Well, if a Cupid said it, it must be true.” Without warning, he swept me into a tight hug and dipped me backwards. I squealed and clutched at him until I got my balance but he just laughed. And then he kissed me, a soft press of his mouth to mine that was better assurance than any Sententia gift that he, in fact, loved me.
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