His hand rested on my shoulder. “I don’t go around trying to learn the likes and dislikes of every writer I work with, or women I date for that matter. But I wanted to get to know you, Jana, and since we live so far from each other, this was the best way I could think of.”
Tears lighted in my eyes, and I quickly blinked them away. “I don’t understand.”
Howard turned me around. Not wanting him to see my emotions, though, I kept my head lowered. As if that would be of any use. He placed his fingers beneath my chin and lifted my head so that I was forced to look into his blazing blue eyes.
“What don’t you understand, Jana?”
“Why?”
“Why, what?” he asked, smiling. “Why would I want to know more about an intriguing, passionate, intelligent, self-sufficient, funny, loving, and beautiful woman?”
I huffed through my nose.
“Your ex-husband was a moron, Jana. Any man who would let you slip through his fingers is a moron.”
I thought about Adrian’s comment that Dick wasn’t too smart. Then again, Adrian hadn’t been too smart either. He should have told me. He should have known that I’d find out.
But why would Howard be interested in me? Even my husband thought there was someone better out there. And Howard had the pick of some of the most beautiful women in the world. I wasn’t who he thought I was. He’d realize that the same as Dick had, the same reason maybe that Adrian hadn’t told me the truth …
“Those are just books, Howard. That’s not who I am.”
Howard rested his forehead against mine. “Will you let me be the judge of that? I know I don’t know the real Jana Embers, but the things you like, the things you enjoy, did come out in your writing. I believe we have a lot in common, and I’d like to get to know the real you.”
Oh, boy … “I think I need that tea now. Did you get me the stress relief one I like?”
“Of course. But, Jana, I don’t want you to be stressed. I’m sorry if I’m causing you stress. It’s just … I’m no spring chicken. If I see —”
I looked up at him. “Go ahead.”
“No. There’s no correct way to finish that sentence. I know that.” He stepped back from me. “Help yourself to whatever you want upstairs. Sam won’t mind.”
“Sam?”
“Yes. You and my daughter are about the same height and size.”
“You have a daughter?” I asked, shocked. I don’t know why, but the thought of the man I’d only known from the tabloids as the world’s most eligible bachelor surprised me.
Howard laughed, so I guess my utter shock about him having a daughter and lack of response to his comment that he wanted to get to know the real me hadn’t upset him too much. “See, research comes in handy.”
I decided I’d preempt another surprise. “Are you married, Howard?”
He crinkled up his nose. “Wow, you really do have a bad image of me. You think I’d come on to you if I was married?”
I shrugged. “I’ve not had too much luck with men, if you haven’t noticed. The reason I wrote a book about being single.”
“No, I’m not married. In fact, I’ve never been married. But Samantha turned out to be the best mistake I ever made. She’s my life, the reason I try to keep her out of the limelight. Thankfully, she has no interest in Hollywood.”
I sat on a bench beneath a window, suddenly wanting to know more about this man. “Does she live here, with you?”
Howard pulled a chair in front of me and sat on it backward, his arms resting on the backrest. “No, Sam goes to Penn State. One of the many reasons I decided to buy a home here. I didn’t want to be so close that I’d smother her, but I wanted to be close. Penn State is a little less than three hours away, so she knows when she wants to get away, she has the entire top floor to herself. If I know she’s coming, I always try to be home.”
“That’s nice,” I said. I wasn’t sure when was the last time that Dick had seen Eric, but I knew he didn’t have a room set aside for him. “And Sam’s mother?”
“We get along okay. We rarely see each other, though. She lives in Boston.”
“Why didn’t you ever get married?”
“She turned me down. Said that just because we made one mistake didn’t mean we needed to make another one.”
I blinked. “That’s harsh.”
“That’s Karen. She said the last thing she wanted was to set aside her career goals because a condom broke. She continued to live with her parents, finished college, and now she’s one of Boston’s top surgeons.”
I couldn’t help but wonder how my life would have turned out if I’d been as strong as her. Then again, I’d loved my ex-husband. I never thought twice about marrying him when he asked, even if he asked out of guilt. But maybe I should have. Maybe I should have noticed that he was only asking because I’d gotten pregnant.
Howard touched my knee, breaking me out of my stupid what if thoughts, as if it mattered what had happened in the past.
I looked up at him, feeling stupid. “Yeah?”
“I’d like to take you somewhere today.”
“But we aren’t finished choosing a cast.”
“Ken can take it from here. I trust him completely. I just wanted to be involved with choosing who would play the lead.”
“Are you going to tell me who you decided to cast for the leading role?”
Howard licked his lips. “Maybe … I have to make sure I can trust you, though.”
I raised my hands to my chest. “Me, trustworthy? Please. I can keep a secret better than anyone I know.”
Howard rose from the chair and pushed it aside, then squatted down in front of me. “For the record, I never doubted that for a second. If you go out with me today, I’ll tell you tonight.”
“That’s blackmail, Howard.”
“Blackmail usually requires money. I’d say it’s more like a bribe.”
“Either way —”
He cut off my words with a kiss that made my heart race so fast I thought it might take flight right out of my chest. He leaned back and I could hardly even see him through my delirium. A soft sigh of contentment escaped my lungs before I could stop it.
Howard sighed too. “As much as I like seeing you in my T-shirt, Jana, I think you should go get dressed.”
After that kiss, I really did need to get moving. A T-shirt was way too open and revealing. I stood, careful to pull the hem of the shirt around my legs. No sense in giving Howard a free peek.
He stood swiftly, so he must have realized the same thing. “Jeans and a sweatshirt should be sufficient, but grab one of Sam’s jackets just in case.”
I’d made it to the stairs, but stopped and turned. “Umm … Howard, can’t you just swing by my hotel?”
“It’s in the opposite direction, and I swear to you, Sam won’t mind. She’s a great kid. You’ll love her.”
With that, I trotted upstairs. You’ll love her … Howard was already convinced that I would meet his daughter, or was she coming home tonight? Oh, Lord. I was going to drive myself crazy with questions.
I should stop this nonsense right now, demand that he take me back to the hotel. Howard and I didn’t stand a chance. I didn’t want a chance … We were from different worlds.
And I loved Adrian. I wanted to make it work with him. I owed it to him to … What … what did I owe him?
Could my life get any more complicated? It was only my fourth day in Pittsburgh, and it felt as if my life was coming apart at the seams. Who was I kidding? My life didn’t have any seams. My world had been in shreds for years, ever since Dick pulled apart the threads of our life that had bound us together.
And now … just when I thought I knew what I wanted, Howard had to go and up the ante.
Two weeks … How was I going to deal with Howard for two weeks?
Chapter 36 – I Am Happy
Just an hour and a half later, I stared out at a vast canyon from an easily accessible platform at Cooper’s Rock, West Virg
inia.
The river that snaked its way through the gorge looked tiny from the height where I stood, but Howard assured me that I would enjoy kayaking it in the spring. As if I’d be here to do that.
In Florida, I’d have to drive three and a half hours just to get to the state line, something that had always aggravated me. My favorite sport was whitewater kayaking, and I had to drive or fly for hours to get to the closest spot. Adrian had taken me to the Hillsborough River, but the rapids there weren’t really whitewater, more like babbling water over rocks. I preferred the fun class II and III rapids found in North and South Carolina.
It’d be nice to drive only an hour or so and be able to hike and kayak in beautiful forests like this one.
Howard escorted me away from all the elderly tourists and screaming kids, to a secluded trail. “Come on. Let’s go to someplace quieter.”
Only a few people passed us on the way down the mountain. The trail was only four miles roundtrip, but I’d read somewhere that less than two percent of sightseers ventured further than a hundred yards off paved roads. So sad that many tourists were unable to go further. I loved to hike deep into the woods, thinking that I might be able to stand in a spot where no one had stood since the first humans traversed these lush green hills.
Howard and I seemed to have that in common. Either that or he was trying to woo me into wanting to stay in Pennsylvania by pretending to like what I liked.
As I’d told him earlier, it simply wasn’t fair for him to learn everything there was to know about me online. Anyone could pass a test if they were given all the answers. Not that I planned to take our … whatever we were doing … further, but if I did, how would I ever know if we genuinely shared the same interests?
My father had met plenty of women who’d said that they loved all the things he did, but my father liked to play … a lot. Inevitably, six months into a relationship, the women who’d said that they loved sports, fishing, and bowling would ask him to stop doing the things he loved. He’d stop all right. He stopped dating them. If there had ever been a woman who truly enjoyed all the things my father loved, he would have loved her, and stayed with her forever, I was certain.
Dick had said once that my father had made me the perfect wife. I enjoyed watching sports almost as much as I enjoyed writing and reading. Of course, what Dick had really meant was that I allowed him to do all of his sports, since he had never wanted me to go with him, just his friends and co-workers. Yeah, I had been easy going because of my father, but he hadn’t prepared me for a lying, cheating, or dishonest man. My father may have been a lot of things, but never once had he cheated on a woman he was in a relationship with, and he was as honest as the day is long. He worked hard, but he also played hard. I wasn’t sure that I could fault him for wanting to squeeze as much out of life as possible.
Howard remained rather quiet as he hiked through boulders, pointing out a few birds, and at one point even a timber rattler crossing the path. His soundless hiking made me wonder if the outdoors really was something he loved, not just a ploy by him to fulfill one of my passions.
When we finally reached the end, I was in awe, but stopped as my heart rate surged. “Uhh … Howard …”
He turned back to look at me. “Yeah?”
“This is close enough.” Unlike the last rock, Raven Rock — or rather, I’d say Raven Cliff — didn’t have any guardrails. The rock jutted over the canyon, which had an elevation of more than three thousand feet, according to the little brown sign that I accepted as a marker that this was as far as I should go. “I guess I’m still afraid of heights. I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Oh, Jana, come here. It’s so beautiful. You can see the Cheat River.”
Chuckling nervously, I said, “I saw the Cheat River from Cooper’s Rock. If you’ve seen one river from three thousand feet, you’ve seen them all.”
Howard walked back to me, shaking his head. “Come on, you can hold onto me.”
“Then we’d both fall, and then where would our movie be?”
“Please …”
“I’m good,” I said with finality.
Howard pulled out his phone, reversed the image for a selfie, then wrapped his arm around me. “This will do. I can still get the gorge.”
I smiled up at his camera, doing my best to keep my eyes open in the blinding sun. “You’re not going to post that anywhere, are you?”
Howard pocketed his phone. “Would that be a problem?”
“Umm …”
Taking my hand, Howard led me away from the cliff, to an open expanse. He pulled his jacket out of his backpack and laid it on the ground. “Go ahead,” he said, then proceeded to sit down on the dried grass. His brow creased. “Why would posting a picture of you and me be a problem, Jana? It’s not like we’re in bed together.”
I sat down and wrapped my arms around my knees. “Howard, you said so yourself … there are wolves out there just looking for something to start rumors.”
He inclined his head. “What if it wasn’t a rumor?”
I bit down on my lip. How was this possible? Why was Howard doing this to me? Of all the women in the world … why me? And why now? “Howard, I … I’m just —”
“Who’s Adrian?” he cut in.
Again, he’d changed the subject on me in a nanosecond. But, it was a question I could answer. “My physical therapist.”
Howard blinked, then shook his head. “Oh, now I get it. The reason you can’t give me a straight answer if you’re in a relationship, which matches your relationship status on Facebook: It’s complicated. I guess it’s not good ethics for a therapist to have a relationship with his patient. You could have just told me, though.”
Stubbornly, I lifted my chin in defiance. “There aren’t any ethical rules pertaining to relationships between PTs and patients.”
Howard rested his folded arms on his knees. “Then why all the secrecy?”
“I didn’t say I was in a relationship with Adrian.”
“But you are. Or were. What happened?”
Inhaling the cool air, I glanced around at the beautiful place where Howard had brought me. Was this really him? Did he really want to start a relationship with me? A woman he knew only through the Internet and her wild ramblings in books.
Howard reached forward and touched my knee. “I know you don’t think I know you, Jana, but I do. If you and Adrian were in a relationship, you would have done everything you could to make it last. You believe in monogamy. You believe in true love. You never would have left your husband if he hadn’t cheated on you. And as much as you are doing fine as a single woman, I know you want to meet the love of your life and live happily ever after.”
How did he do that? Had Angela been talking to Howard? I suddenly wondered. No, she wouldn’t do that without knowing Howard. Angela’s sights would still be on Adrian.
Realizing that Howard knew this fact because he’d taken the time to get to know me, as crazy as that sounded, since he’d done it through my writing and social media, I answered, “Doesn’t everyone want to live happily ever after? Is that so wrong?”
“It’s not wrong at all, love. Tell me what happened.”
“Adrian didn’t tell me he was married,” I spit out. “We’d been dating for months, while apparently, he was in the middle of a divorce. But he didn’t tell me.” I peeked up at Howard, looking for a reaction. Waiting for him to tell me how stupid I was, but he said nothing, just held his gaze on mine. Emboldened now, I continued, “You know how I found out?”
Howard simply shook his head.
“Adrian’s wife was at his office. I’d come in for my scheduled therapy, and she darted over to me, asking me for my autograph.”
Eyes widening, Howard did his best not to laugh, but I saw his body shake. “Did you oblige her?”
“Of course I did,” I grumbled. “She even ran out to her car, where she had a copy of my book.”
“So she really was a fan,” Howard said.
; I shrugged. “I guess so.”
“And what did Adrian do?”
“He ran after me.”
“So he didn’t care who saw, even his wife?”
Dropping my shoulders, I shook my head. “No. And it gets worse. Apparently my book was the last book his wife had read. She’d carried it everywhere, so he knew me from the image on the back flap. She told him that my book was the reason she’d asked him for a divorce.”
Howard scrunched up his face. “That’s ridiculous. Nothing in your book even remotely hints at that.”
I jerked my body upright. “That’s what I said!”
“So,” Howard’s eyes softened, “you were never officially in a relationship with Adrian, and then it came to a screeching halt? But, do you want to be?”
I took in my surroundings again, anything to keep my gaze away from Howard’s piercing blue eyes that seemed to be able to see right through me. “I don’t know … I love him. I know I do, but … he lied to me.”
Releasing a long breath, Howard touched my cheek. “It’s clear that you feel that it’s not over yet, though.”
“I’m just confused. It happened right before I came here …”
Howard scooted around so that he was sitting next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “I don’t want you to be confused, Jana. I just want to make sure you get what you want. You deserve to be happy.”
I rested my head on his shoulder and stared out at the beautiful scenery. “I am happy, Howard.”
And I was … I didn’t know what would become of Adrian and me — if anything. Or if something might blossom with Howard.
But I was happy. I knew who I was, what I enjoyed, and no matter what happened, I didn’t need to count on a man for my happiness. But yes, Howard and Angela were correct. I did want to find the love of my life and live happily ever after. It was how I was made.
Chapter 37 – The Big Event
After our day trip to West Virginia, Howard dropped me off at the hotel but said he’d be back to pick me up the next night around six. Apparently, he’d prearranged a huge gala for all his crew.
Some Lucky Woman Page 25