by Lila Felix
But my bear wanted it—so it must’ve been right.
Her typing faltered, but only for a second.
Martha
Choppy—that’s what my editor would call this whole thing if I’d written it down.
Echo hadn’t been quite the comfort I’d hoped for. I’d wanted her to come in, guns loaded, ready to castrate Rev or whatever best friends did to boys who wronged them.
But I was the one who was wrong.
She’d read me the riot act, telling me that I was the one who’d first convinced her to have faith in the Creator and His plan for our mates.
It was like hearing my own lecture.
She was right.
I had no faith—I was only relying on petty consequences.
Like him coming in and destroying everything I’d worked for.
There I went again.
I hated to admit he was right. My headphones were long forgotten with him in the room. The rhythm of his breaths coupled with our in sync heartbeats fueled me on. Of course, most of the reason was that my male MC was now a stunning version of Mr. Tell Me What To Do, himself.
Plus, I could smell him. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine the pine needles pricking my paws and the dew of the morning dropping from the Spanish moss.
Outside, a few hours later, I heard the clan come back in from their run. The older bears usually came back fast while the younger ones or the most recently mated couples didn’t come in until early morning. I wondered if Rev heard it too, so I turned to find him completely engrossed in that book—my book.
His brow was arched downward and his toes kept a steady tempo, like they were impatient for him to get back on his feet.
I couldn’t stand the anticipation anymore, “Any good?”
He grunted once as he turned the page. That was the only answer I received. I turned around to my screen and began again with a fervor I didn’t know I possessed. It went on for hours and hours until I heard a slight snore—more like deep breathing coming from behind me. At first, I couldn’t tell if Rev had shifted in my office or he was asleep.
But when I turned around—I knew. His head was canted on the pillow behind his head with my book sprawled out against his chest. His limbs were slack and his face was so—relaxed.
I got up and grabbed a stray blanket from the back of the love seat that I kept in my office in case I got tired.
“I’m not asleep,” he grumbled as I pulled the afghan over his chest, trying to sneak my book away without disturbing him.
“You can go home. The run is over.”
“Do you want me to go home?”
I had to chant my bear out of where I’d stuffed her, desperate for the connection I’d been promised. She came forth at once, waiting for me to call her.
“No. Do you want to go home?”
“No.”
I cleared my throat and glanced at my books, hoping they would help me through this. That beastly girl inside of me just wanted to shimmy her little round rump in his direction and hope he got the hint.
“It’s almost dawn. You can stay here. I…” You can do this girl. “I’d hoped this would be our home. So, it’s our home now.”
Desperate to punish myself, I kicked the bookshelf next to me a little harder than I’d expected. I’d sounded like a woman straight out of Little House on the Prairie. He would think I was an idiot.
“Is that what you want? Is that what would make you happy?”
I didn’t have to look to know that he had stood and was not creeping towards me.
“Yes. I bought this home with the intentions of having a family in it.”
I pictured myself in a bonnet, rolling down a hill. Little House here I come.
“Then that’s what we will do. Now I have a proposition for you.”
“What’s that?”
“Run with me. The others are all home now, the single ones, at least. This…“he rubbed a circle in his chest with a clenched fist. “…this would all be so much easier if we allowed our bears to connect.”
Fire tingled through my chest and pooled in my belly at the thought, and though I’d rebelled so hard against the marking rights before—maybe they wouldn’t be so scary if I just relented to this.
He was my mate.
He was made to love me and protect me.
“Come with me.”
He extended his hand and took mine without permission. Rev didn’t need permission.
Outside my backdoor, I surveyed the area right and left, my human side still a little desperate for a way out.
There was none to be had.
For me to get undressed was a simple shift of my strapless maxi dress downward. After that, the rest could get shredded with the shift. I was not leaving my underwear for any passer-by to see.
“I will shift first. It’s your choice whether or not to look.”
I shouldn’t look. I shouldn’t. Then again, I should. I needed to choose a spot for the mark.
I haven’t even kissed him and I’m expected to…
Two short tugs of his shirt, with his arms extended over his shoulders toward his back, and his shirt was over his head in a split second. Tidal waves of desire plowed through me as I continued to quake.
“It’s your bear. She’s straining against you to get out.”
“No, trust me. This is all me.”
He chuckled and moved to throw his shirt on the railing of my back steps. When he did, he came into the light that shone from the moon, making itself known in full effect. The light bounced off several shiny lines down his back and without warning, I stepped towards him to touch them.
With my fingers spanning the closest scar to me, he exhaled but kept his breath held.
“I’m sure there’s a story here.” I didn’t want to push my luck. He would tell me whatever those were when he was ready.
Right then, I just wanted to run with him.
“Don’t turn around,” I whispered before shucking my dress. Each bear was different in their shifting. Some bears shifted slowly. Some bears could semi-shift at will—only their claws and teeth instead of a full shift. Tarrow was one of those. He could sprout claws from his hands but remain human. It was enough to give Freddy Krueger nightmares. And then there were bears like me.
I didn’t have to give shifting a second thought.
Shifting was a simple matter of letting go.
It was probably the only time in life that I did let go.
I smiled as skin morphed into fur, as mouth and teeth elongated into the black bear’s signature snout. I fell forwards, not onto hands and knees, but onto paws, sensitive and careful of the ground under them. A mosquito took advantage of my new form, landing on my now rounded ears. I swiped at the blood-sucker with my paw.
I felt the pull as he shifted, his shift was now tethered to mine, just like the rest of him was tied to me. Part of the beauty of shifting with your mate was that, in bear form, we could speak to each other through our bond.
But I wasn’t going to be the first one to try it out.
A nudge at my side let me know that he was ready to run. I couldn’t wait to race with him through the woods and out to the swamps that called to me.
Come, mate.
My heart hammered in its now larger cage at the sound of his voice within me. It carried with it care and safety—and a promise of so much more.
In lieu of answering, I barreled through the woods with Rev on my tail, getting closer every second. He let me take the lead and I knew if he wanted, he could easily overtake me.
The chase fueled us.
We only spent a few hours like that, in our rawest form.
Do we need to leave? I asked him.
Yes, soon.
In minutes he’d chased me all the way back home and shifted back to human before I could protest.
My mouth was still agape as he stepped into his shorts and turned to face me.
“If only bears could blush. I will be back in one hour and then we leav
e. Be ready on time, please. I’m not one for lateness.”
Finally, we agreed on something.
Rev
I’d forgotten the book she gave me to read at her house. Her house—it would be difficult to begin to call it our house. I’d never lived in such a place. All my life I’d lived in this cabin. Most of my life, until I saw how others lived, I’d thought it the perfect place to be. I slept upstairs in a loft that could only be accessed by a rickety homemade ladder.
It was like living in a treehouse.
Looking around the place, I decided on my mating gift. That moment was the first time I’d thought of my gift, though I knew I’d give her one—most males did.
Maybe Martha would think it was as magical as I once had.
Stepping out of the outdoor shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and even after our run, the swamp sounds beckoned to me.
I’d known our run would seal whatever doubts were left about our coupling and I had been correct. I could show her love as an animal that for some reason my human form was still a little timid about, but that all would change now. The moment I spoke to her, all hesitation ceased to exist.
I didn’t think we would have any issue from then on out.
I arrived at her car, and expected what most males complained about—honking horns, screaming and endless phone calls from the car to get their females to come out on time.
Quickly, I realized that I was the one who was late to the party.
Martha and her mother were speaking by the car as Martha concisely placed one small bag into the trunk of the car.
I’d also expected more luggage than her compact car could handle.
Again, my expectations were getting in the way of everything.
I gathered the courage necessary to introduce myself to the female who would be my future mother-in-law.
“Good morning, Mrs. Ember. I’m Rev. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard so many things about you.”
The woman, a more formal and less wild version of Martha, with a severe bun in her hair and a shared affinity for those flowy dresses my mate flaunted so damned well.
“Good morning, Rev.” She pulled me with more force than I thought her height warranted. “Thank you for being her mate. She’s been waiting a long time for you.” A mother’s concern laced her words.
“It’s my honor to be her mate.”
She nodded against my shoulder and then pulled away, leaving Martha questioning what oaths had been exchanged between parent and partner. Looking between us both, she planted her fists on her hips. “I’m not sure I approve of you two going off on some trip without being formally mated first.”
I realized, standing there between them, that this is where Martha had gotten her rebellious attitude. Not from her mother, but rather, in spite of her mother. She was more archaic than I was. Even if we weren’t formally mated, there was no going back.
We were together forever.
In some need to placate the situation, I cleared my throat since I could feel the waves of discontent and pure rage building in her. I chuckled a bit at my grown mate’s need to push her mother’s buttons.
“Mom, please.”
“Don’t you Mom me. What’s right is right.”
“He’s my mate for heaven’s sakes. It’s not like I’m going to run off with one of the wolf pack.”
Inadvertently, a growl burst from my mouth, breaking both of them free from their angry stares and not so silent battle. It was so loud that I felt the need to explain it.
“There will be no running off, with any male, of any species, on any continent, at any time now or in the future. There is no other—only me.”
After an extended silence, filled with growing grins, Martha’s mother spoke. “Have you ever seen Ghostbusters, the movie?”
I shrugged, hating when conversations made tangents in the direction of television.
Martha bent over at the waist, a howling, out of control laughter made it unable for her to stand up straight. I’d never make her laugh like that. I wasn’t even funny.
Her mother joined in barely choking out the words. “There is no Dana. Only Zuul.”
Whatever that meant caused them both to laugh so hard that eventually they had to swipe tears from their eyes.
“Are you laughing at me, love?”
“No, yes, no. I’m sorry.”
She was—the little minx.
“Mrs. Ember, it was so nice to meet you, but now we are late getting on the road. If you’ll excuse us.”
She nodded and it was time to get my female in order. I took advantage of her bent over posture, since she was still laughing at me, and lowered myself so that she fit over my shoulder and proceeded to carry her like a sack of potatoes to the other side of the car and not so gently plopped her inside.
“Put your seatbelt on.”
But the silly woman was still laughing despite my attempt to piss her off so I took the seatbelt and reached across her and buckled her in purposefully dragging my hand across her belly and my position made sure that our lips were only a breath apart.
“Still think I’m funny?”
Her negative nod let me know her giggle fit at my expense was over.
Though as soon as it was, I missed the sound.
We’d been on the road nearly twenty minutes in silence, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted this opportunity with her to get to know one another better.
“Your book is excellent. The way you describe the characters and the setting—I feel like I’m there.”
“Thank you. You didn’t mind all the romance?”
I shrugged. “It wouldn’t be my first choice of reading material and the male is a bit over the top, but as I said, it was very good. I am disappointed that I left it in your office.”
She popped the glove compartment and waved the book at me. “I was waiting to see what you thought before telling you that I brought it.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ve got questions.”
I turned onto the interstate and headed north. “Good. Now’s the time.”
“How old are you?”
A breath made my cheeks bellow out. “I’m twenty seven.”
“Oh.”
“Too old of a bear for you?”
“No. And you said you earned a modest living, but I don’t even know what you do.”
I pointed to her phone. “Do you have internet on that thing?”
“Yes.”
“Google Black Bear Birdhouses.”
After toggling around on her phone with what I thought was more than ample time to see my site, she turned to me. “Rev, these are beautiful. But I see a huge problem.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re not charging enough. This one,” she showed me the one I’d made of corks I’d scavenged from someone’s recycling bin in the clan. “Could easily bring you a hundred dollars and you’re charging twenty.”
“But at twenty, everyone can afford them. My turn to ask a question. Why do you write under a pen name?”
She shrugged and blushed. Whatever it was she was less than willing to tell. “It was for the future.”
I didn’t understand. “Explain.”
“Well, when I have a family, I don’t want people to know the last names of my children or my maiden name. I don’t want anyone to have any way to track me—especially given our otherworldly second nature. It was a protection measure.”
I’d noticed that all of her books were written under the name M. Azalea.
“You’re protecting your future cubs. That’s admirable.”
Since the run, our bears had been well sealed, even attempting to communicate with each other despite our change back to our human forms. But at my statement she shrunk back a bit and so did the female at my side.
“What?”
“I’m not having these future cubs alone.”
“Hmm…you’re right. I’m still skittish around you. Our family, our cubs,
better.”
My answer came in the form of her reaching for my hand between us and threading her more dainty fingers through mine.
“Ask me more.”
The rest of the drive, the long and treacherous seven hour drive was no longer awkward. With Martha touching me, I could almost do anything. She asked me everything about myself and I answered now without hesitation or fear that she’d shun me for my answers.
Acceptance, I’d found on that drive, was the cure for haughty expectations.
It was easy. She was my mate—through life and beyond. Nothing I could ever do would change that.
As long as the foundation stood firm, the rest would fall into place.
When we neared the wolves’ lands, she asked the final question that I believed she’d been holding in the whole time.
“So, I know this whole Grizzly business is bullshit. What are we really here for?”
“Such foul language for such a beautiful mouth.”
After reddening profusely, she covered her mouth with her hand and blushed some more. Not being able to stand her covering those luscious lips, I took her hand again in mine and kissed her palm. In a really roundabout, disconnected way, my mouth had just kissed the spot where her mouth had been just seconds ago.
We got to the gate. These wolves meant business. The place was wired harder than Microsoft. Cameras, probably more than I could see, all turned to face the car and the whirr of a sound signaled they were zooming in on us.
“State your name and purpose.”
I couldn’t even tell where the damned voice was coming from.
“I am Rev, sent by the Alpha over all bears, Hawke Turnclaw.”
“And the female?”
“This is Martha Embers, my mated female.”
No answer was given, the gates simply opened.
“They have a particular scent,” Martha commented, clearly trying to be a bit diplomatic, which I was thankful for. I wasn’t really sure what the girl was going to come out with.
“They certainly do.”
We parked alongside the other vehicles and three male wolves came down from the porch and approached the vehicle.
“Can you please stay in the car until I settle all this?”