by Kiera Cass
I cleared my throat. “How many times?”
“Fifteen. I think the plan is to make it much worse for Carter than you, but either way, it’s going to be incredibly painful. I know it sometimes causes people to black out. I’m so, so sorry, Marlee.” He looked disappointed in himself. And all I could think of was how good he was.
I stood up straighter, trying to show him that I could handle this. “You come here offering me my life and the life of the man I love, and you apologize? Maxon, I’ve never been so grateful.”
“They’re going to make you Eights,” he said. “Everyone is going to watch it.”
“But Carter and I will be together, right?”
He nodded.
“Then what else can I ask for? I’ll take a caning for that. I’d take his as well if that was possible.”
Maxon smiled sadly. “Carter literally just pleaded to take yours for you.”
I smiled, too, as more tears—happier tears—filled my eyes. “I’m not surprised.”
Maxon shook his head again. “I keep thinking that I have a grasp on what it means to be in love, and then I see you two, each asking to spare the other, and I wonder if I understand anything at all.”
I gripped his coat tighter around me. “You do. I know you do.” I stared at him. “Her, on the other hand . . . she might need time.”
He chuckled quietly. “She’s going to miss you. She used to encourage me to pursue you.”
“Only a true friend would try to get someone she cared about to become princess over herself. But I was never meant for you, or for the crown. I found my person.”
“She said something to me once,” he said slowly, “that I’ll never forget. She said, ‘True love is usually the most inconvenient kind.’”
I looked around my cell. “She was right.”
We were silent for a few moments before I spoke again. “I’m scared.”
He embraced me. “It will be over rather quickly. The buildup to the caning will be the worst part, but take your mind somewhere else while they’re talking. And I will try to get you the best medicines, the ones they save for me, so that you heal faster.” I started crying, frightened and thankful and a thousand other things. “For now, you need to get what sleep you can. I told Carter to rest as well. It will help.” I nodded into his shoulder, and he pulled me tight.
“What did he say? Is he all right?”
“He’s been beaten, but he’s doing okay for now. He told me to tell you he loved you and to do whatever I asked.”
I sighed, comforted by the words. “I’m in your debt forever.”
Maxon didn’t reply. He simply held me until I relaxed. Finally, he kissed my forehead and turned to leave.
“Good-bye,” I whispered.
He smiled at me and knocked twice on the door, and a guard escorted him away.
I went back to my place by the wall and curled my legs up under my dress while I turned Maxon’s coat into a makeshift blanket. I let myself drift back into my memories. . . .
Jada rubbed lotion into my skin, a ritual that I’d grown to love. Even though it was only just after dinner and I was nowhere close to being sleepy, her skilled hands running down my arms meant the workday was over and I could relax.
Today had been especially taxing. Besides having a bruise on my hip that I was supposed to be icing, the Report had been stressful. Tonight had been our true introduction to the public, and Gavril asked us all questions about what we thought of the prince and what we missed about home and how we were getting along with one another. I sounded like a bird. Even though I tried to calm myself down, every answer made me notch my voice up another octave, I was so excited. I was sure Silvia would have something to say about that.
Of course, I couldn’t help comparing myself to everyone else. Tiny didn’t do very well, so at least I wasn’t at the absolute bottom. But it was hard to say who had done the best. Bariel was so comfortable in front of the camera, and so was Kriss. I wouldn’t be surprised if they made it to the Elite.
America was wonderful, too. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I realized now that I had never had friends below my caste. I felt like such a snob because of it. Ever since coming to the palace, America had been my closest confidante—and if I couldn’t rank among the top contenders, I was thrilled that she was up there.
Of course, I knew anyone would be better for Maxon than Celeste. I still couldn’t believe she ripped America’s dress. And to know that she had gotten away with it, too, was so disheartening. I couldn’t picture anyone telling Maxon what Celeste had done, which left Celeste free to go on torturing the rest of us. I understood she wanted to win—for goodness’ sake, we all did—but she took things way too far. I couldn’t stand her.
Thankfully, Jada’s nimble fingers were working all the tension out of my neck, and Celeste began to fade away, along with my piercing voice and the aching posture and the list of worries that accompanied trying to become a princess.
When there was a knock on the door, I hoped it would be Maxon, though I knew that was a pointless hope. Maybe it would be America, and we could drink some tea on my balcony or take a walk in the gardens.
But when Nina answered the door, the officer from earlier was standing in the hallway. He peeked over Nina, not bothering with protocol.
“Miss Marlee! I came to check on you!” He seemed so excited to stop by, I had to laugh.
“Please come in.” I stood from my vanity and walked over to the door. “Take a seat. I can have my maids bring us up some tea.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to keep you too long. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t crippled from that fall.”
I thought he was keeping his hands behind his back to maintain a small level of formality, but it turned out he was simply hiding a bouquet of flowers, which he presented to me with a flourish.
“Aww!” I pulled the bouquet to my face. “Thank you!”
“It was nothing. I’m friendly with one of the gardeners, and he got these for me.”
Nina came over quietly. “Shall I get a vase, miss?”
“Please,” I replied, handing her the flowers. “So you know,” I said, turning back to the officer, “I’m very well. A small bruise, but nothing serious. And I’ve learned a valuable lesson about high heels.”
“That boots are far superior?”
I laughed again. “Of course. I’m planning on incorporating them into my wardrobe much more.”
“You will be solely responsible for the new direction of palace fashion! And I can say I knew you when.” He chuckled at his own joke, and we stood there smiling at each other. I got the feeling he didn’t want to leave . . . and I realized I didn’t want him to either. His smile was so warm, and I felt more at ease with him than I had with anyone in a long time.
Unfortunately, he realized it would be odd for him to stay in my room, and he gave me a quick bow. “I guess I should go. I’ve got a long shift tomorrow.”
I sighed. “In a sense, so do I.”
He smiled. “Hope you get to feeling better, and I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
“I’m sure. And thanks for being so helpful today, Officer . . .” I looked to his badge. “Woodwork.”
“Any time, Miss Marlee.” He bowed again, then retreated into the hallway.
Shea closed the door gently behind him. “What a gentleman, to come and check on you,” she commented.
“I know,” Jada seconded. “Sometimes it’s hit or miss with those guards, but this batch seems nice.”
“He’s certainly a good one,” I said. “I should tell Prince Maxon about him. Maybe Officer Woodwork could be rewarded for his kindness.”
Though I wasn’t tired, I crawled into my bed. Turning in for the night meant the maid count went from three to one, and it was as alone as I could get. Nina walked over with a blue vase that looked beautiful with the yellow flowers.
“Set them here, please,” I asked, and she put them right next to my bed.
/> I stared at the flowers as a smile played on my lips. Even though I had just suggested it, I knew I’d never tell the prince about Officer Woodwork. I wasn’t sure why, but I knew I’d keep him to myself.
The creak of the door opening jerked me awake, and I stood up instantly, pulling Maxon’s coat over my shoulders.
A guard walked in and didn’t bother looking me in the eye. “Hands out.”
I’d gotten so used to everyone adding “miss” to their sentences when they spoke to me that it took me a second to respond. Luckily, this guard didn’t seem to be in the mood to punish me for my slowness. I placed my arms in front of me, and he shackled them in heavy chains. When he let the chains fall, my body lurched down a bit with them.
“Walk,” he ordered, and I followed him into the hallway.
Carter was already out there, and he looked awful. His clothes were even dirtier than mine, and he seemed to be having a hard time standing upright. But the instant he saw me, his face lit up with a smile like fireworks, causing a gash on his lip to reopen and bleed. I gave him a tiny smile before the guards started leading us toward the stairs at the end of the hall.
Based on our trips to the safe rooms, I knew there were more passages in the palace than anyone might suspect. Last night we were taken to our cells via a door I’d always assumed was a linen closet, and we took that same path now to the first floor.
When we reached the landing, the guard leading us turned around and barked a single word. “Stay.”
Carter and I stood behind the half-opened door, waiting to be escorted to our humiliating and painful punishment.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. I looked up at him, and even with his bleeding lip and messy hair, all I saw was the boy who insisted on taking me to the hospital wing, the boy who brought me flowers.
“I’m not,” I replied as forcefully as I could.
In an instant, every stolen moment we’d shared flashed through my mind. I saw all the times our eyes had met and quickly turned away; all the times I’d made a point to stand or sit somewhere in a room if I knew he was nearby; every wink he’d given me when I’d walked in for dinner; every quiet giggle I’d let out as I passed him in a hall.
We’d pieced together a relationship around all our obligations to the palace, and if I had been walking to my death today, I’d have done my best to take the past month for what it was and be satisfied. I had found my soul mate. I knew it. And there was too much love in my heart to leave room for regret.
“We’ll be okay, Marlee,” Carter promised. “Whatever happens after today, I’ll take care of you.”
“And I’ll take care of you.”
Carter leaned down to kiss me, but the guards stopped him. “Enough!” one snapped at us.
Finally the door was opened all the way, and Carter was pulled forward ahead of me. Morning sun flooded in through the palace doors, and I had to turn my eyes to the ground to bear it. But as disorienting as the brightness was, the deafening shouts from the throngs of people waiting to see the spectacle were worse. As we emerged outside, I squinted up and noticed an area of special seating set aside. I was heartbroken to spot America and May in the very front row. After a pull from the guard nearly made me fall, I looked up again, searching for my parents, praying they were already gone.
My prayers went unanswered.
I knew Maxon was too kind to do this. If he had tried to get me out of this punishment altogether, then it couldn’t have been his idea to make my mom and dad watch it firsthand. I didn’t want anger to take up any room in my heart, but I knew who was responsible for this, and an ember of hatred burned inside me for the king.
Suddenly Maxon’s coat was ripped from my shoulders, and I was pushed to my knees in front of a wooden block. The metal shackles were removed, and my wrists were bound with leather straps.
“This is a crime punishable by death!” someone called. “But in his mercy, Prince Maxon is going to spare these two traitors their lives. Long live Prince Maxon!”
The straps on my wrists made everything very real. Fear surged through me, and I started crying. I looked at my smooth hands, wanting to remember them as they were now, wishing I could use them to wipe away my tears. Then I turned to Carter.
Even though the thing he was strapped to was in the way, he craned his neck so he could see me. I focused on him. I wasn’t alone. We had each other. The pain would last temporarily, but on the other side of it I had Carter forever. My love, forever.
Even though I could feel myself shaking with fear, I was also strangely proud. It wasn’t as if I would ever brag about being caned for falling in love, but I realized there were some people who would never know how special it was to have someone. I did. I had a soul mate. And I would do anything for him.
“I love you, Marlee. We’re going to be okay,” Carter vowed over the din of the crowd. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”
My throat was dry. I couldn’t answer him. I nodded, so he would know I had heard, but I was disappointed in myself for not being able to tell him that I loved him, too.
“Marlee Tames and Carter Woodwork!” I turned at the sound of our names. “You are both hereby stripped of your castes. You are the lowest of the low. You are Eights!”
The people cheered, enjoying our humiliation.
“And to inflict upon you the shame and pain you have brought upon His Majesty, you will be publicly caned fifteen strikes. May your scars remind you of your many sins!”
He stepped aside, raising his arms to the audience for one last cheer. I watched as the masked men who had bound Carter and me reached into a tall bucket and pulled out long, soaking rods. The time for speeches had ended, and the show was about to start.
Of all the things I could have thought of, at that very moment I remembered an English lesson on idioms from years ago. We had discussed the phrase “rule of thumb,” and I remembered our tutor mentioning that the term might have originated with a husband being allowed to beat his wife, but only with a stick no bigger around than his thumb.
The rod we were faced with wouldn’t pass that test.
As they whipped the canes around, warming up, I averted my eyes. Carter took a few deep breaths, then swallowed once and brought his focus back to me. Again my heart swelled with love. The caning would be much worse for him—he might not even be able to walk after it was over—but he was worried about me.
“One!”
I wasn’t at all braced for the hit, and I cried out from the sting. It actually ebbed for a moment, and I thought this might not be so awful. Then, without warning, my skin began burning. The burning grew and grew until—
“Two!”
They timed the strikes perfectly. Just as the pain hit its peak, a new wave added to it. I called out pathetically, watching my hands shake from the agony.
“We’ll be okay!” Carter insisted, bearing his own torture while trying to ease mine.
“Three!”
After that hit I made the mistake of balling up my hands, thinking it would somehow ease the pain. Instead, the pressure made it a dozen times worse, and I let out some strange, guttural sound.
“Four!”
Was that blood?
“Five!”
It was definitely blood.
“It’ll be over soon,” Carter promised. He sounded so weak. I wished he’d save his strength.
“Six!”
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make it anymore. There was no way to tolerate more pain than this. Any more pain would certainly mean death.
“Love . . . you.”
I waited for the next strike to come, but there seemed to be a hiccup in the proceedings.
I heard someone screaming my name—it almost sounded as if they were coming to my rescue. I tried to look around, and that was a mistake.
“Seven!”
I outright screamed. While waiting for the strikes was nearly unbearable, being completely blindsided by them was much worse. My hands were torn into pulpy, swollen messe
s; and as the cane came down again, my body gave up, and thankfully the world turned black and I could return to my dreams of the past. . . .
The halls felt so empty. With only six of us left, the palace was starting to feel too big. But small at the same time. How did Queen Amberly live like this? This life must get so isolating. Sometimes I had the urge to scream just to hear something.
A light trill of laughter caught me, and I turned to see America and Maxon in the garden. He had his arms tucked behind him, and she was walking backward, hands moving in the air as if she was telling him a story. She made a point, exaggerating it with her gestures, and Maxon bent forward, laughing and squinting his eyes. It seemed as if he was holding his hands behind him because, if he didn’t hold himself back, he’d scoop her up right then and there. He seemed to know a move like that would be too much too fast, and she might panic. I admired his patience and was happy to see he was on the path to making the best possible choice for himself.
Maybe it shouldn’t have made me so happy to lose, but I couldn’t help it. They were too good together. He was control to her chaos; she was levity to his seriousness.
I kept watching, thinking that it wasn’t so long ago that she and I were in that same spot, and I had nearly made a confession of my own. But I had held my tongue. Confused as I was, I knew I shouldn’t say anything.
“Lovely day.”
I jumped a little at the words, but as my brain registered his voice, a dozen other reactions followed. I blushed, my heart started racing, and I felt absolutely foolish at how pleased I was to see him.
One side of his lips quirked up in a half smile, and I melted.
“It is,” I said. “How are you?”
“All right,” he answered. But his smile fell a little and his eyebrows furrowed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked quietly.
He swallowed as he thought. Then, checking behind us to make sure we were alone, he leaned in close. “Is there a time today when your maids will all be gone?” he whispered. “When I could maybe come talk to you?”