by Bella Jewel
I know that voice.
I’m spun around, and three men are standing behind me, but it’s the first one I recognize. It’s Carl. He’s aged a lot in the last ten years, but there is no missing him. After my father got locked away, I never knew what happened to him, but I guess he stayed loyal after all. I stare at the man that at one point I had been intimate with, and my eyes must give away my surprise.
“Didn’t think I was still around? Of course you didn’t. Shanks is goin’ to be thrilled at how incredibly fuckin’ stupid you are, walkin’ down a main street, in broad daylight. What are the chances?” He throws his head back. “What are the chances?”
“Let me go,” I snap, going to lunge forward, but all three men quickly pull out a gun and point it at me.
“I’ll happily scatter your brains and take you back to your father dead, claim the money, live pretty fuckin’ good. But I know he’d much prefer I brought you in alive so he could kill you himself.”
My stomach coils tightly, and I feel sick. So damned sick.
What the hell have I done?
“Now, we’re going to walk down this alley and out the other side where my truck is. You’re going to do everything I tell you, because if you don’t, I’ll blow your brains out. Now, shall we?”
He puts an arm out, and I stare at him, and I know he can see the fear in my eyes. There is no point in hiding it anymore.
I’m about to face the monster I’ve run so long from.
“Oh, this is going to make Shanks’ entire day.” Carl laughs.
Oh, God.
Someone ... help me.
~*~*~*~
THEN – CHARLIE
Oliver laughs, and for the first time in a long time, I smile. Really smile. It feels a little weird at first, foreign almost, because it isn’t something I’m used to. Smiling. It’s so surreal. But that’s how he’s making me feel, he’s making me feel happy inside. He’s such a nice man, and he’s so easy to talk to. He’s been working on the case for four months now, and every chance I get, I come in here and sit with him, chatting, talking over things, and having fun.
I always bring him a muffin and a cappuccino. He keeps telling me I’m making him fat, but he’s far from fat.
If I’m being honest, I have a little bit of a crush on him. It’s hard not to. His personality is addictive. He’s kind, and funny, and so genuine. I’ve not met another genuine person in my life. Well, Rebecca is a good person, but I can’t say I’d call her genuine. Oliver is genuine. The real deal. He is proving to me there is still so much good left out there.
He’s the first person I’ve believed in for such a long time.
He might just get me the freedom I’m so desperately seeking.
“Have you gotten any more information on the deal that’s going down?” he asks me, sipping the coffee I brought in.
“Yes, I have a date and a time. I heard my father talking last night.”
Oliver’s eyes widen. “Well done, Charlie.”
He’s the first person who has ever called me Charlie. He kind of came up with it on his own, and I must admit, it’s nice. It’s like having a whole new identity. When he calls me Charlie, I feel like I’m on a clean slate. Like I can be whoever I want. Like I’m not the girl who has done all those bad things. Like I’m just ... reborn.
“Thank you.” I smile. “So, does that mean you have enough now to take him down?”
Oliver smiles, and my eyes zone in on his dimples. I like his dimples. They’re nice. They light up his face.
“Yes,” he tells me. “If we can work it out perfectly. I have to have a plan that is basically fool proof. If anything goes wrong, he’ll know we’re close, and we’ll lose our chance. But I’ve gone through everything you’ve given, everything you’ve brought in, and if we can take them down during this massive deal, we’ll be able to put him, and anyone close to him, away for a very long time.”
And that’ll mean freedom.
Pure freedom.
My heart flutters at the thought.
What will life be like, if I no longer have to live under his control?
How will it feel, to be able to walk down the street without a care in the world, to live on my own, to have a job, to find a nice man, to do all of those things?
Like a normal girl.
“How are you feeling about it all?” Oliver asks.
“Nervous,” I admit. “I think I’m putting way too much hope into this, and I’m scared of getting disappointed, but I’m so so close to having my life back, to being free, to just live again without him breathing down my neck.”
Oliver stands and walks over, kneeling in front of me. He takes my hands, and my heart does a silly little flutter. “I’ll get that for you, Charlie. I will. I’ll get you the freedom you not only desire but deserve. I’ll make sure you’re safe.”
“Oliver?” I whisper.
“Yeah?”
“What if something goes wrong out there? What if something happens to you, or to me ... or ...”
He squeezes my hand. “You won’t be anywhere near it. I’ll already have you in a safe location. Nothing will happen to me, Charlie, but if for some horrible reason it did, I have at least five other officers with full instructions on what to do with you, where to send you, and how to keep you safe. I have something else for you.”
“You do?” I smile.
He nods and stands. He walks to his office, and opens his drawer, pulling out a folder. He walks back over and sits beside me, handing it to me.
“All your new identification documents. Of course, you have to leave them here, but when this is over we’ll move you from this city, start you again, get you safe. But I thought you might like to see them.”
I stare at him, and my eyes burn. I glance down and pull out my new passport and giggle when I see the name.
He changed my name to Charlie.
His special name for me.
So really, not only has him giving me this name made me feel like I’m being reborn, but the fact of it is that it’ll actually be who I am when this is over. Charlie, a new person, a new life.
I wonder what it’ll be like, to be Charlie on the outside world, too. And not just in this office.
I wonder if it’ll be everything I ever imagined.
“I love it,” I tell Oliver, “because now, I’ll remember you forever.”
Not that I’d ever forget him.
No, I never could.
“You’re welcome.” He laughs. “I thought you’d like it. You just have to put your trust in me now, Charlie. I’ll get you safe. Do you trust I can do that?”
I look at him, and memorize those eyes, and the calm cool and collected features that make up his handsome face, and I know, I know I can trust him.
I know, that no matter what, he’ll find a way.
Yes, he’ll find a way to free me.
-22-
NOW – KODA
She’s fuckin’ gone.
She’s gone, because of me.
I’m a fuckin’ idiot.
A stupid, fuckin’ idiot.
I check everywhere, through the trees, down the road, but I know that I haven’t been able to catch her in time. I know that she’s gone, probably hitched a ride somewhere, and I don’t know where that fuckin’ is. I’m supposed to be protecting her, and she’s managed to get away, at a time when everything is fuckin’ dangerous. For all of us.
I pull out my phone, aggravated, and call Malakai.
“Koda, what’s goin’ on?”
I take a deep breath, because not only is he going to find out that I’ve been fuckin’ lying to him, but that I have been using Charlie and now she’s gone. I’m a fuckin’ terrible human, but I never meant to hurt anyone. I just wanted to do what Braxton deserved, and I knew if I told anyone, they’d pull me back. But, like everything, lies come out and burn people harder than the truth would, if I had just used it.
“Fucked up, Malakai. In a big way.”
He goes
silent for a moment, then murmurs, “What have you done?”
“Charlie...she’s gone.”
“What?” he barks, and I don’t miss the anger and bitter disappointment in his voice.
He trusted me.
To look after her, to do the right thing.
And I fucked everyone over.
“She found out something, about me, and ran.”
“Want to tell me what she fuckin’ found out, so I can find her,” he grinds out.
Malakai has been like a brother to me since he let me join the club all those years ago. I was broken, and fucked up, and had no family left. He opened the doors to the family he’d created, and let me in. And I just fucked him over. I fucked him over because I’ve been lying to him, and he never deserved that. He’s never fuckin’ lied to me. Not once.
I take a frustrated breath and murmur, “She found out that I’ve known all along who she is, and she found out that her father, killed my brother, and that’s the reason I’ve wanted in on this from the beginning. She found out I’ve been lying. To everyone.”
Dead silence.
I’m not going to try and explain myself. There is no way to do that. Malakai can punish me however he sees fit, because he has that right.
They all do.
“What did you say?” he growls, voice low, and deep.
“I didn’t stutter, Malakai. You heard exactly what I said.”
“You mean to tell me, this whole time you knew exactly who Charlie was. You knew and you used her to get revenge for your brother?”
“That’s exactly what I did. Her father took Braxton’s life right in front of me, shot him in the fuckin’ head, and then left me in a locked room with him until he started to rot. You don’t get that shit out of your head, you do not fuckin’ live it down. So yeah, I knew who she was the moment I heard her name, and the moment I saw her face, because she looks a good deal like him. I didn’t tell anyone, because I knew you’d pull me back, and for Braxton, I had to end that motherfucker once and for all.”
“Fuck, Dakoda,” Malakai growls. “You fuckin’ lied to me, you lied to her, and now she’s out there in fuckin’ danger because of it. I feel for you, bro. I would want the same blood, but you should have fuckin’ told me. You owed me that much after everything we’ve been through.”
That hits me right in the gut, because he’s right. I do owe him that. He’s never let me down, and I just let him down in the biggest way possible.
“She’s gone, hopin’ she would come there,” I say, changing the subject, because right now finding Charlie is on the top of the list. “But she ain’t there, obviously.”
“No, she ain’t here. Fuck me, Koda. She could be anywhere. She’s unprotected. And unsafe. Fuck!”
“I’ll come there. Call Slater, if Shanks has her, he’ll know about it. We need to get her back, Malakai. Because that motherfucker won’t hesitate in killing her.”
Malakai makes a disappointed sound in his throat. “Fuckin’ let down by you, Koda. But I’ll deal with that later, right now, we need to get Charlie back.”
I hang up the phone without another word.
Because what else is there to say?
I let the fuckin’ girl down, but mostly, I let my club down.
And now she could very likely fuckin’ die.
Because of me.
And my stupid fuckin’ mistakes.
~*~*~*~
NOW – KODA
“Can’t get hold of Slater,” Malakai barks, pacing the room. “This is fuckin’ bad, fuck!”
His fists are clenched, and he’s pissed off. In a big way.
So is everyone else, judging by the filthy expressions I’ve gotten since they found out what I did.
They can take it out on me later, right now, I need to find Charlie and I need to do it quickly.
Scarlett and Amalie come through the front doors, panting and red. “We looked in all the places near the club that she might have gone. She isn’t there. I checked the ranch again, no one. Mason has gone up to the other cabin, he called five minutes ago and said she isn’t there, either. Which means he has her...he has her, all because of you!”
Scarlett’s angry finger jerks in my direction, and I glare at her. “Back off, Scarlett.”
“How could you, Dakoda? How could you do that to her? She trusted you, and you know, that she hasn’t been able to trust many people in her life. You shattered that, on the one person who needed your trust the most.”
Fuck me.
That hurts.
It hits me right in the heart, because I know she’s right.
Fuck.
I look away, panting.
“Enough,” Maverick orders, and I face the group again, trying to keep my shit together.
“So, she isn’t anywhere to be found. She might be smart, hiding out because she knows she’s unprotected. Chances of Shanks having her, is slim to none,” Boston adds, calm and sturdy.
He has no emotion towards this, so he’s the best man to keep his head in this situation.
“Boston is right,” Malakai adds. “Unlikely Shanks has her, she’s probably just somewhere cooling off.”
But I know they’re wrong.
I can feel it in my gut.
She’s in trouble.
The club door opens and Slater strides in, surprising us all. He walks straight over to Malakai, his eyes hard, his body stiff. He doesn’t say much, but he’s a broken motherfucker. Scary as hell.
“Got a problem,” he mutters. “Done what you needed, set it up so it looks like Shanks is tryin’ to fuck over the Mafia. Problem is, deal is goin’ down sooner than I thought. Shit has already fired up, which means this is goin’ to happen quickly. It ain’t safe here. For anyone.”
Malakai looks to Slater, and his jaw tics. “Charlie is gone.”
Slater’s eyes flare, and he growls, “What?”
“Fuckin’ don’t know where she is, but she’s gone. Any chance he’s got her?”
“You’d fuckin’ hope not,” Slater growls. “Because a war is about to fuckin’ unleash on Shanks, a blood bath is about to take place. If she’s with him, she’s in big fuckin’ trouble. And not just because he will play out his revenge, but because she’ll get caught up in somethin’ very fuckin’ dangerous.”
“Fuck,” I bellow, slamming my fist into a nearby table. “Fuck me. Can you find out if she’s there?”
Slater looks to me, and nods sharply. “Yeah, can find out. Goin’ back there now. If she’s there, I’ll try to get her out. But it could be too late. Shanks already has word that the Mafia ain’t fuckin’ happy. Took a lot of fuckin’ work for me to pull off what you asked, but I did and I had an entire fuckin’ shipment stolen from the Mafia when I found out where it was comin’ in. Told the boys it was Shanks’ request, and they got in early and stole the fuckin’ lot. Made sure Mafia had word it was Shanks. He killed the boys I used without question, when he found out, so I’m fuckin’ lucky, or I’d be dead right now. If he’d have asked who gave them those orders, you’d all be fucked, and so would I. Was a big fuckin’ risk, but it’s done and things are about to get fuckin’ ugly.”
That’s the most I’ve ever heard Slater say.
But he’s right.
We’re in big fuckin’ trouble.
We’ll have no time to get Charlie out, if she’s with Shanks.
She could fuckin’ die there, and maybe not at the hands of her father.
“Go,” I order. “If she’s there, find a way to get her out. Tell me where to hide, and I’ll be fuckin’ waitin’ to get her to safety.”
“You’re not fuckin’ goin’ in,” Malakai barks.
I walk over, getting in his face. “If she’s in there, then you’re damn fuckin’ sure I’m goin’ in. You want to punish me, punish me by lettin’ me put my life at risk. She’s in there, because of me. I’ll be the one makin’ sure she gets out. I fucked up. I’ll fix it. Try and stop me, Malakai. I fuckin’ dare you.”
; Malakai’s jaw goes hard, and he glares at me like he wants to tear my fuckin’ head off, but he doesn’t argue any further.
“Go, hurry it up, keep in contact. This is fuckin’ bad. Really fuckin’ bad,” he growls.
I nod, and turn to Slater. “Tell me what I need to do.”
Slater glares at me. “She dies, I’ll take you out. I hope you fuckin’ know that.”
Yeah.
I know that.
And he won’t be the only one.
-23-
NOW – CHARLIE
“Hello, sweetheart.”
The amount of times I wished my father called me that, and meant it, are countless. Hearing the words from him now, as I’m stood before him, make me want to gag. They’re said with pure hatred, red hot and real. I hold his eyes, because damned if I’m going to bow in front of him. I’m not the scared little girl I was many years ago. Not now. I’m stronger, and he won’t win.
Even if he tortures me.
Or kills me.
He will not see me crumble.
“Hello, daddy,” I smile coldly.
The years in prison have aged Benjamin ‘Shanks’ Masters, but he still holds that edge of power. His body is still large, and strong, and even though his hair is now greying, and there are wrinkles where there was once flawless skin, he’s still the same man he was before. Cold, ruthless, with eyes so empty they make you want to shrink into yourself.
But there will be no shrinking.
Not from me.
Not for him.
“The years have been kind to you, Charlene,” he says, scanning me. “You look just like me.”
What a fucking insult.
“Well, aren’t I just lucky then?”
His eyes narrow, and he steps forward, grabbing my chin in his hands. “You might be older now, but you will not disrespect me.”
“Or what?” I snap, jerking my head from his grips. “You’ll torture me? Kill me? Kill everyone I love? Fucking go for it, oh daddy dearest. I have no one I love. And I couldn’t care less if you take my life.”
His eyes flash, and then he lets out a booming laugh.