“Hello?” I call out and Conner emerges from behind one of the trucks, wearing his bunker gear...only his bunker gear. His jacket is hanging open revealing a strong, bare chest and chiseled-from-stone abs. I feel my heart start to race as he moves toward me, eyes burning. My body immediately aches for his touch. He reaches up and takes my face in both hands and kisses me hard. His tongue coaxes my lips apart as it explores my mouth. His lips taste sweet and I moan in response and let my hands travel under his jacket. Feeling. Groping. Greedily squeezing at his strong arms. Digging my fingertips into his muscular back, I pull him closer so I can feel his body against me. His cock concurs as I feel it start to harden against my waist.
I look down and realize I am naked in front of him. Completely vulnerable to his touch and I want him to claim every inch of me. With one hand, he tangles his fingers through my hair and tugs lifting my face to the ceiling, claiming my neck with his mouth. With the other he caresses my ass, squeezing and grasping its surface. He kisses my neck and my breathing turns shallow and quick. He starts trailing kisses down my arm, then down along my waist to my hip. He kneels in front of me before looking up directly into my eyes, my desire reflected in his expression. I inhale sharply and close my eyes tight.
DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!
I’m startled awake by my emergency pager going off on the nightstand beside me.I leave out a frustrated groan. Grabbing it quickly, I turn off the alarm and check my phone.
1 Missed Call-Conner
Shit.
I rub my eyes trying to force myself awake and come to terms with what just happened. Another dream about Conner. I think it’s safe to say that my subconscious desires are practically demanding to be released. I shake my head trying to clear the remnants of the dream from my thoughts. How pathetic am I? Literally dreaming about a man I can’t have. I swipe a finger across my phone and tap Conner’s missed call.
Ring. Ring.
“Hey, you up?” he answers quickly as if he’s been up for hours.
“Yeah, I just got the alert. Any idea what’s going on?” I ask as I’m climbing out of bed and looking for clothes to put on. While holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder I hop around my room and pull on a pair of sweatpants and socks.
“Chief says it’s out at Joan Billet’s place. Her barn I think. Are you gonna make it?” Joan Billet was a local widow. She lived on a run-down farm that her husband managed before he died.
“Yeah, I’m trying to get dressed now,” I respond as I dig through my dresser trying to find a t-shirt to throw on.
“So what you’re saying is you’re naked right now?” He asks in the sexiest voice he can and I can practically hear his smirk in his tone.
My entire lower body clenches at his words.
“Not anymore.”
“Damn it. Alright, well you want me to stop and get you? It’s storming pretty good right now.”
“Yeah, thanks. I’ll see you in a minute.” I hang up without saying anything else. I rush to my bathroom and grab a hair tie from the vanity. Without looking in the mirror I sweep my blonde mess of curls into a bun and head downstairs to wait for Conner.
He arrives a few minutes later and we are on our way to the fire station.
“Bobby didn’t answer the call, so you’re going to be on ventilation tonight if we need it okay?” Conner tells me as we pull into the station.
“Yeah, I got it.”
We both hop out and head for our bunker gear which is already set up and waiting for us to jump into. We are the last ones getting there and our Chief, Joe, and the rest of the crew already have the engine rescue running and ready to go. We climb on board and the engine takes off. I watch Conner sitting across from me, looking ahead at the street. His expression is serious like he’s mentally preparing for what’s to come. I could stare at this view for hours. His gaze is so intense. He looks so sexy when he’s in hero-mode.
He and I have been involved with our local fire company since high school when we were junior firefighters. I always admired our local company. They were selfless and gave back to our community whenever they could. They organized toy, clothing, and food drives, and they always offered to take our local sports teams on rides after winning their big games. They were loved and looked up to by the whole town. And I couldn’t wait to be a part of it.
I joined my sophomore year of high school and it was only a matter of days until Conner found out and joined too. He told me once, he did it because he couldn’t trust anyone else to watch my back. That, and the fact that he thought I’d get myself killed with how clumsy and uncoordinated I was, and still am. Now, he’s working on becoming a Captain for our company. Chief Joe has been dropping hints for weeks that the position is opening up and he wants to give it to Conner.
“Soon there.” Conner yells above the sirens to me, “You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” I reply.
The tree line on the back road we’re driving on opens up to a view of dark field after dark field for miles. In the distance, we can see the glow of the flames coming from Joan Billet’s land.
Finally making it to the edge of her property, we turn down her long dirt lane, bouncing and splashing through the puddles formed from the storm. The rain stopped, but the aftermath of the lightning is burning its way through Joan’s barn. She stands at the edge of her yard flagging us down as we pull in. My heart starts to beat faster as we get out, the adrenaline building up in my system. We each receive our orders over the radios and get to work. I’m on ventilation. I look over my shoulder and watch Conner run to the other side of the truck. He’s helping with the hose.
****
Conner
The fire is bigger than I expect. I can already feel it’s heat through my bunker gear and it causes me to sweat. The brightness burns my eyes even through my visor. I help the others get the hose and drag it into position. Once they are set up I start scanning the scene for Brooke. I heard over her radio that she is on ventilation, but looking at the structure now, it doesn’t look nearly sturdy enough and is leaving me with an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. My eyes rapidly bounce from side to side, but it’s difficult to tell where she is through the smoke and the multiple bodies running around. Then I hear her voice over the radio, a most soothing sound and I relax a bit. “Ventilation in progress.” Someone else responds with more updates for the rest of us on the ground waiting to go in.
Brooke is already working on the roof with Andy. I watch closely as the two of them stand on the roof and start to hack it apart, creating holes to vent the fire so the rest of us can attack from the base. I can tell which one she is now. The only woman in our company, she is significantly smaller than the rest of us. I watch intently as they work. I call out new orders to the other firefighters over the radio as the fire progresses.
I hear yelling from the roof and my eyes dart back up to Brooke. Andy moves quickly towards the ladder before a loud CRACK breaks through the scene. Just as I spot Brooke again, I see her body disappear beneath the surface of the roof. She just fell through! “She just fell through!” I scream over the radio. “Brooke just fell in! Get the hose started and clear a path on the left side of the door! I’m going in to find her!” I hear a faint response from the radio, but I ignore it. I need to get in to find her.
I barge through the opening where the door used to be, and drop down to my hands and knees and start searching. I can’t see anything through the thick gray smoke that’s now surrounding me except for a faint orange glow coming from the flames behind all the smoke. I call out for her, “Brooke! Where are you?” But I don’t get a response. Realizing that I’m searching blindly I try to listen, but all I can hear is the barn wood and hay burning and crackling all around me. It’s too loud to hear her calling for help. I have to keep moving. I have to find her. My adrenaline is surging through my body as I shove pieces of crates, troths, and other furniture from my path.
“Brooke! Answer me damn it!” I scream as loud as
I can before finally spotting the wave of a hand out of the corner of my eye. “Don’t move! I’m coming.”
I hear the water start attacking the fire close by and the thick gray clouds of smoke turn to white puffs of steam. The heat is so extreme that my face is dripping wet and the sweat runs down into my eyes causing them to burn, but I don’t stop. I can’t stop. I need to get to Brooke.
I climb over a large beam and find her laying on the other side, her leg trapped underneath it.
“Conner, I can’t move! My boot is pinned under the beam!” she yells, her voice desperate, panicked. I see the look of terror in her eyes and my heart aches. I hate that look. “Don’t worry, Brooke. I’m here. I’ll get you out.” I try to reassure her, but I also need her to stop looking at me like that. Her expression makes my body weak and makes me vulnerable. Right now I can’t afford to be either one. Another loud crack sends a second beam to the ground landing only feet from where we are crouched. My heart races and my breathing increases rapidly. I need to get her out of here now.
“Look at me,” I demand so that she’ll turn to me. Now I can see her face. “I’m going to lift the beam. When I do, I need you to slide out from underneath it. Okay?”
“Okay,” she repeats, but her voice is shaky.
I climb to my feet and try to stay bent over and out of the smoke as much as possible. Slipping my hands under the beam I try to get a grip, but my large bulky gloves make it difficult. Finally, I’m able to wedge my hand through the hole formed between the beam and the floor where Brooke’s ankle sits. With every ounce of strength I have left, I lift the beam inches above her leg and scream at her, “Move! Now!”
She scooches herself backward, freeing her leg. Oh, thank God!
“C’mon,” I yell, grabbing her arm and folding it over my neck, “We gotta get the hell outta here!”
I drag her alongside me as she tries to keep up at her hobbling pace, tripping over debris and the remnants of furniture in our path, until we reach the exit.
“There they are!” Andy yells as he rushes toward us.
Hey, thanks asshole. If you were doing your fucking job she never would’ve been in this mess.
I reluctantly release my grip around her waist once she is at a safe distance from the fire. I sit her down on the ground and help her remove her facemask.
“Are you alright?” I ask, scanning her face and testing for tenderness around her body.
“I’m okay now, Conner. Really,” she says, almost embarrassed.
“Brooke, it's alright. It was an accident. It could’ve happened to anyone.”
“I promise I’m okay,” she responds again and reaches to rub her ankle. This time her voice sounds more sad than embarrassed. “Just a little sore that’s all. Go. They need your help.” She points back to the crew with her chin.
“They’ve got it covered. You are my priority right now.” I snap and take her by the chin forcing her to look directly at me. Suddenly, there it is again. That look of terror that I saw in her eyes when we were in the fire and I realize she’s trembling. My knees go weak beneath me and instead of trying to stay standing, I let myself fall to the ground beside her and wrap her up in my arms, holding her tightly. She’s all shaken up. I take a deep breath in while holding onto her and just under the smell of fire and smoke, I catch a faint sniff of something flowery. Her shampoo. I rub the back of her head gently as her body starts to relax in my arms.
“What the hell happened?” I ask.
“It was an accident. We were working on ventilation and I don’t think Andy realized that my exit was compromised so he kept going and just as I was making my way back to the ladder I felt the roof snap under my feet. Luckily, I didn’t fall far before landing on the loft. I was able to slide down to ground level. But when I was trying to make my way to the door the beam fell and knocked me down, trapping my foot underneath.”
“You scared the hell out of me, Brooke. I don’t know what I’d do if I’d lost you,” I said softly to her. The thought makes me tremble and I push it out of my mind immediately. I don’t even want to imagine a world without her in it. Without another word, we both let out a deep sigh of relief and sit together in silence.
Three
Brooke
I sit in the back of Gabe’s truck watching out the window while he and Conner talk. Gabe is our company’s paramedic and typically, he’s only called in as needed but Conner insisted that he be called in to check on me. Conner’s hands wave through the air as he’s retelling the story of what happened to Gabe, an obvious look of frustration on his face. Is he mad at me? Gabe is an older guy, short and round with dark, receding hair and a dark wiry beard. He’s been with the company since before Conner or I joined. I don’t know if it’s his age or that he’s usually full of words of wisdom, but I’ve always looked at him as the dad of our company. Quietly overseeing things and keeping us safe. Gabe nods and listens to Conner’s retelling.
On one hand, it’s flattering how much Conner cares about me, while on the other it just adds to the torture of being his best friend. I know he doesn’t care for me the way I care for him. But as painful as it is to play the part of best buddy, or however he thinks of me, it would be more painful if he broke my heart and I lost him for good. I glance out the window again and see Joe has now joined the conversation. Conner looks like he’s fuming as he gestures toward Andy. Why does he look so hot when he’s angry? His muscles tense up and he just seems so macho. I don’t know why I keep torturing myself like this. What is wrong with me!? I bang my head in frustration against the window, just hard enough to make a small thud, but hopefully hard enough to knock some sense into me too.
I hear Joe’s voice start to raise outside of the truck. Uh oh. He’s yelling at Conner. I hop out and walk as best I can with a sore ankle over to them.
“No! That’s bullshit, Joe! He needs to be suspended or something! She could’ve been killed because of his dumbass not following protocol!”
“Oh! Fuck you, Smoak!” I hear from behind me and turn to see Andy walking away, waving a hand at the group. Knowing what’s coming next, I cling tightly to Conner’s shirt as he makes a move toward Andy.
“Conner, stop. Let it go.” I say firmly, trying my best to restrain him, but it’s no use. He easily overpowers me and continues to move. He reaches up and grabs my hand where it’s locked onto his shirt and tries to release my grip.
“Conner!” I yell this time and he pauses and looks down at me. His hand still holding mine, he stares back into my pleading eyes. “Stop. Please.”
He looks back to where Andy is standing and glares darkly before releasing a ragged breath. “Let’s go,” he growls before turning back to Gabe’s truck.
He helps me climb in, slamming the door behind me, then jumps in the front with Gabe. We head back to the station together in silence. Sitting behind Conner, I can see his anger brewing as it’s reflected in the side rearview mirror. I watch his jaw clenching every few minutes and his lips keep moving as if he is cursing someone out in his mind. I’m sure it’s Andy.
I understand why he’s mad. Andy didn’t follow protocol. He started to drill holes before I was in a secure location and it jeopardized my escape route when the roof became unstable. It was dangerous and reckless, but I’m okay now. Why can’t he just let it go? I feel guilty, really guilty. I feel responsible for Conner reacting the way he did. He almost got himself in trouble with the Chief, all because he was trying to defend me. He could have jeopardized his chances of becoming Captain if he had gone after Andy.
His unspoken claim to and protection over me draws me to him even more. But the reality is I’m not his. And he will never be mine. Something's got to give. I can’t keep going on like this. A stray tear escapes from my eye as an ache rises in my heart. I wipe the tear away before it falls from my cheek. I want so badly to openly love him the way I’ve thought about loving him for years but I can’t. And yet continuing to pretend to be okay with how things are now feels equally as
torturous. I let out a sigh of relief as we finally pulled into the station. The tension radiating off of Conner could be sliced through with a knife at this point and I know he needs time to cool off.
****
Conner
By the time we get back to the station, I am raging. I can’t believe Joe is just going to let Andy slide. That mistake could’ve cost Brooke her life! What a fucking joke. I shake my head and climb out of Gabe’s truck. I see him coming around the front to help get Brooke inside.
“I got it, Gabe,” I say. Raising a hand to me, he retreats inside. I open the back door of the truck and find Brooke sitting there on the seat serenely, her head facing down as if she’s embarrassed. Or upset, maybe?
“Brooke, what’s wrong?”
Without saying a word she glances up at me, pain written all over her face. There’s a plea coming from her deep green eyes and it seems to be directed at me. What the hell?
“Brooke, what is wrong?” I ask again, more firmly. My heart pounds as I’m trying to decipher if it’s physical or emotional pain creating this broken expression on her face. Regardless, it’s tearing me apart to see her like this. My eyes search hers begging for an answer but she gives nothing away. I watch as her eyes start to fill with tears. I let out a deep breath that I didn’t even realize I was holding. The severity of her accident must be finally sinking in. I could fucking kill Andy for causing this. I reach out my arms and wrap her in a strong hug. She wraps her arms around my neck and holds tight as she cries against my chest.
“Sshhhh,” I soothe her as I rub the back of her head. Her hair feels so soft and the smell of smoke has overpowered her flower shampoo but not completely. There’s still a faint scent entangled in her mess of curls that I can only smell now that she’s so close to my face. I squeeze her tighter. I try to constrict the pain out of her body. I hate seeing you like this. She has always seemed so delicate and innocent to me. Even though I know she’s not, I have an innate instinct to protect her and it cuts deep to my core to see her hurting. Like I haven’t done my job. Like I’ve let her down somehow. I hear her sniffle a bit and pull back so I loosen my grip. I look down at her and wipe her tears from under her eyes with my thumbs. “You good?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.
There's Warmth: A Friends to Lovers Romance (Where There's Smoak Book 1) Page 2