by Elena Aitken
At the moment, considering her somewhat soft landing that could have been a lot worse, Drew couldn’t think of anything negative at all to say about the blue and yellow throw cushions she’d bought a few years earlier to brighten up their living room, despite the way Eric used to toss them to the floor whenever he wanted to watch television.
“It’s a good thing I wasn’t very good at donating much of anything.” She laughed and rubbed her hip that had connected with something a little less soft that must have been hiding under the pillows.
“Jesus Christ! Drew?”
She tried to swing her head around toward the voice, and the front of the garage, but Drew was somewhat stuck in the box. Like a turtle on the back of their shell. The image made her laugh again.
“Are you okay?”
She leaned her head farther backward, stretching until she could make out the image of her savior. Her eyes landed first on the work boots before traveling up to the muscular legs clad in worn denim, the narrow waist, untucked t-shirt and finally familiar dark hair and green eyes. Her laughter caught in her throat as she sucked in a sharp breath.
Eric.
Drew froze in place, not that she could move very much anyway, as her eyes focused on the upside-down man.
She blinked once and then again.
No. It wasn’t Eric. Of course.
“Drew? Are you okay?”
Ben.
A second later, Ben stood over her, his face twisted in a frown. “What the hell? Did you…” He glanced up and took in what was left of the precariously stacked totes. “Were you climbing that?”
She opened her mouth to answer, but ended up closing it again and shaking her head in an effort to clear the image of Eric—her late husband and Ben’s older brother—from her mind. It wasn’t even that they looked anything alike. Eric had been fair and slighter in stature—even before he got sick—than Ben, who had dark features and a much more muscular build. But every once in a while, Drew was struck by some similarity. Something Ben said, those deep eyes, or the way he stood, or…something else.
Just like Eric.
“I’m fine,” she said after a moment. “But I seem to be a little stuck.”
Ben reached for her arms and lifted her easily out of the box and set her upright on her feet as if she were a doll. “Were you seriously climbing up that stack of totes?” he asked again.
She tilted her head in answer and raised an eyebrow.
“What the hell, Drew? You could have killed yourself.”
“But I didn’t.”
“I don’t think that’s the point.”
She took a step toward some of the totes that had toppled down with her and winced in pain, her hand flying to her hip. Whatever she’d landed on was definitely not a throw pillow.
“You okay?”
“I really am.” Ben was sweet and had been nothing but amazing since they’d come home and then especially after Eric had passed. She didn’t know what she would have done without him over the last few months and the way he’d taken care of her and Austin and made sure she was eating properly, getting out of the house, and of course taking care of some of the random jobs around the house. Along with Amber, one of her best friends, Ben had been an absolute rock over the last few months. But as amazing as the care and attention was, more and more Drew had been looking for opportunities to stand on her own two feet without depending on anyone else.
Even if she should have asked for help.
Ben was still looking at her with disbelief on his face. “Really,” she said. “I’m okay. I just landed a little funny. I’ll probably have a bruise is all.”
Fortunately, Ben didn’t press the issue but instead put his hands on his own hips and looked around the disaster of a garage. “What are you looking for anyway?”
She sighed. She’d been looking all afternoon and still hadn’t found Austin’s glove. “Austin starts Little League tonight,” she said. “Eric bought him a glove last summer and they’d tossed the ball around a little bit in the backyard before…well, before we moved. I need to find it.”
A shadow passed over Ben’s face but it was gone as quick as it came. “Okay then,” he said. “We’ll find it.” He grabbed one of the totes that was now laying on its side. “I assume you were reaching for these?”
She nodded as relief washed over her. Something about Ben’s presence, despite her desire for independence, was comforting and strong and just made her feel as though everything was going to be okay. For the first time in hours, Drew actually felt as if they would in fact find the glove in time for Austin’s practice.
With Ben’s help, they sorted through the last few bins and in the second to last one, finally found what they were looking for.
Drew held it up triumphantly. “Thank you so much.”
He shrugged the way he always did, brushing off how helpful he was. “You know I would have helped you from the beginning, right? I mean, I know you’re perfectly capable of looking through boxes,” he said quickly before she could object. “But sometimes these things are made a little easier with two sets of hands. Especially considering…” He waved his arms around.
Drew knew he was referring to how hard it probably was to go through all of their things, or, more specifically, Eric’s things.
“It was fine.” It wasn’t totally a lie. It hadn’t been nearly as hard as she’d expected it might be. “What are you doing here, anyway? Don’t you have a patio to put together?”
“I do.” He grinned and gestured outside. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s get out of here.”
Drew laughed and shook her head. “I can’t go to the Log and Jam right now. I have to go get Austin from school right away and an early dinner and—what’s that?”
Ben stood on her driveway, proudly holding a wooden baseball bat in his hands. He gave her a sideways look.
“I mean, I know what it is.” She smacked his arm. “But what is it? As in…where did it come from?”
“I went by Mom and Dad’s earlier. By the way, Mom wants you to come for dinner tomorrow.”
Drew nodded. Absolutely they’d go for dinner. Spending time with Sylvia and Mitch had been good for everyone after Eric died. She’d even noticed Sylvia crying less and less.
“This was Eric’s bat when he was a kid,” Ben continued. “I think he got some sort of record number of home runs or something with it. It was under his bed, just where he’d left it.”
Heat rushed to her face. “It was…” She reached for the bat. “It was Eric’s?”
Ben nodded. “He never let me use it. Well, except that one time. But that was different.” He shook his head and his smile was back. “It was his lucky bat and I’m absolutely positive he’d want Austin to have it.”
Drew took the bat from him and held it in her own hands. It was way too big for Austin. At least it would be for a few years, but without a doubt it was an incredibly special gift. “Ben, this is perfect. He’ll love it. Thank you.”
To Drew’s surprise, she wasn’t going to cry. The tears threatened, but then they were gone. It was getting easier and easier to control the sadness that still washed over her with a regularity that was exhausting.
Chapter Two
“But are you sure I’ll hit the ball?” Austin stood next to the car, his glove that Drew had rescued only hours earlier in his hand. They’d arrived at the ball diamond almost twenty minutes earlier, but Austin had yet to make it out of the parking lot.
“Yes, you’ll hit it,” Drew said. “I mean…you might not get it right away…but—”
“Mom!”
Drew took another glance over at the group of kids starting to gather by the dugout. They were going to be late. She crouched in front of her suddenly anxious son. It wasn’t like Austin to get worked up about little things. At least, it hadn’t been like Austin. But at five years old, maybe the first day of Little League wasn’t such a little thing.
Especially considering his father should have been there.<
br />
Drew pushed away the thought, the way she tried to most of the time. There was nothing she could do about Eric. She took a deep breath and tried again to soothe her son’s concerns.
“I’m just saying that sometimes it takes a little practice to hit the ball, but before long you’re going to be amazing at it.” He tilted his head and looked doubtful. “And you know what else?” He waited, his eyes wide. “You’re not the only one. All of the kids on your team are going to have to learn, just like you.”
That piqued his interest. “So none of us will be able to hit the ball?”
She didn’t mean to, but she laughed a little.
“Mom!”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Yes, I’m sure you’ll all be able to hit the ball, Austin.”
“Of course you’ll be able to hit the ball.”
Drew jumped up at the voice and turned to see Ben in the parking lot, a large duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He’d changed out of his work jeans and t-shirt and was now wearing athletic pants, a fresh shirt, and a Mariner’s ballcap. He looked almost like…a coach.
Without missing a beat, Ben crouched in front of Austin. “You’re all going to hit the ball, and right away, too. Because we use this thing called a T.” He looked up at Drew and grinned. “It’s T-Ball.”
Even if Austin had no idea what that meant, it seemed to satisfy him. If Uncle Ben was saying it, it must be okay. “Why don’t you go join the rest of the team? I’ll be over in a minute.” Ben tapped the brim of Austin’s cap and he was on his way.
Drew watched him run over to the rest of the kids before she looked to Ben. “What do you mean, ‘we use a T’?”
Ben laughed. “Oh, it’s this rubber thing that we stick the ball on and—”
“I know what a T is.” She cut him off. “I meant, what do you mean by we?” She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for the answer she already knew was coming.
“I’m one of the coaches of Austin’s team.” He lifted the duffel bag in a sort of shrug. “I just found out. Sort of.”
Drew cocked an eyebrow and couldn’t help but grin. “What do you mean, sort of?”
“I told Evan the Log and Jam would sponsor the team this year. You know—jerseys, caps, jackets, that kind of thing.”
“Jackets?” Drew tried and failed to keep the chuckle out of her voice. “I hardly think that five- and six-year-olds need jackets for a Little League team.”
Ben laughed. “I know, I know. But I couldn’t help it. They’re going to look so awesome.”
Together, they started walking toward the group of kids at the diamond. “That doesn’t tell me how you ended up as a coach.”
“That’s my fault.” Evan Anderson, their good friend and new husband of one of Drew’s best friends, Cam, joined them. He put his arm around Drew’s shoulders and squeezed. “One of the dads was supposed to help me out but he had to take overtime shifts or something, so…I needed an extra set of hands.”
“And he convinced me to help,” Ben added.
Drew looked between the men and smiled. “Well, it looks like the kids are going to have some great coaches. How long have you been doing this, Evan?”
“This is my fourth year as the coach of the Timber Creek Trout.”
“The Trout?” Drew couldn’t help it; she burst out laughing. “That’s a…that’s a pretty tough name.”
“Hey.” Evan shrugged. “The kids voted. I wanted the Timber Wolves, but…trout are pretty awesome, too.”
“They sure are.”
Still chuckling, Evan shook his head. “I better go tame the trout and get started with our first practice. You ready, Assistant Coach Ben?”
“Absolutely.”
With a wave to Drew, Evan took off, but Ben lingered. When Evan was out of earshot, he turned to Drew. The smile he’d worn a moment earlier faded. “You’re okay with this, right, Drew? I mean, I don’t want to—”
“Yes.” She interrupted him. “Of course I’m okay with it. And I think Austin will love having you coach. It’s special, Ben. Really.”
He nodded. His smile returned and for a moment he looked as though he were going to say something more, but then he turned and joined the rest of the team. Drew watched as Ben was quickly surrounded. He gave all the kids high fives and soon both coaches had them warming up with jumping jacks.
“Hey. Come sit.” Drew turned to see Cam calling her from the bleachers. She took one more look at Austin, who was doing some sort of half jumping jack, half lunge. She shook her head and laughed before joining her friend.
“Oh my goodness, he’s so cute,” Drew said as she climbed up the bleachers and sat next to her friend, her eyes on the baby in Cam’s arms. “Let me have him.” She reached out for Cam and Evan’s young son, Theo, and was immediately satisfied by the weight of him in her hands. “I can’t believe how big he’s getting. I feel like I haven’t seen him in forever.”
“It was last week.” Cam laughed. “But I know what you mean. He’s almost two months already. Isn’t that crazy?”
“So crazy. I remember when Austin was this small.” Drew traced Theo’s chubby cheek with her finger. Austin had been such a content baby. He’d always been perfectly happy to hang out with her in his snugly or bouncy chair while she cooked. He’d hardly ever fussed. Her gaze lifted and she found him on the field tossing a ball to another boy. Not much had changed. He was still a resilient, happy little boy. She knew he missed his dad, but he seemed to be taking it all in stride.
As she watched, Ben went over to the boys and showed them how to hold the ball properly.
He was so amazing with the kids. It was becoming a very common thought, but Drew had no idea what she would have done if Ben hadn’t stepped up and helped her out so much after Eric passed. In the months immediately following, Drew had mostly been in shock. Despite all the time she had to prepare for the inevitable, it had still been much harder than she could have anticipated. She knew she’d leaned on Ben too much in those early days. But she couldn’t help but do anything else.
Now though…
“Hey.” Cam touched her arm and brought her back to the present. “I lost you in thought there for a moment,” she said. “You okay?”
Drew nodded and turned her attention back to baby Theo. “I am. I was just remembering Austin when he was this age.”
“And…”
“And I was thinking of Eric,” she admitted. “But only sort of.” She twisted a little until she was looking at Cam. “I was actually thinking of Ben.” Her friend’s face twisted in question, so she continued. “Well, mostly just how great he’s been with Austin, and me of course. But also…how I probably shouldn’t depend on him so much anymore, you know?”
Cam nodded, but Drew could still see the question in her eyes. “I’m sure Ben is helping you out because he wants to, Drew. And it’s okay to accept that help. You’ve had a huge life-changing event. We know you don’t need the help.”
Drew nodded distractedly. Obviously Cam meant well. They all did. But Drew was getting sick of everyone cutting her so much slack. She wasn’t some china doll that was going to break. Sure, she’d had some rough spots; that was to be expected. But she was okay. It had been almost nine months. And over a year before that preparing for it. She’d more than proved that she could handle herself.
She looked back out to the field. This time her gaze landed on Ben. They’d been close friends since grade school. There’d been a time once she’d even had a crush on him. A big one. But that had been a lifetime ago, before she’d started dating Ben’s older brother and everything had changed between them.
Ben was a great guy. He deserved everything life had to offer him. Drew watched him and the easy way he had with the kids.
He deserved that.
What he didn’t deserve was to be stuck babysitting his dead brother’s family.
It was time to put an end to it.
“I think that went pretty well, don’t you?” From behind the bar at the
Log and Jam, Ben poured two draft beers before sliding one over to Evan, who sat on a stool.
He took the beer and drank deeply before answering. “It went about as well as can be expected for a first practice. The first few are always like herding cats. But they’ll get it and by the end of the season, the Timber Creek Trouts will be scoring home runs. Wait and see.”
Ben laughed. “I sure hope so. They’re cute kids.”
“They are. And in a few years, I’ll have my very own trout out there with them. That’ll be pretty awesome.”
Ben took a deep drink of his beer. He was happy for his best friend. It had been way too long since he’d seen that smile on Evan’s face. In fact, up until about a year ago, it had been about fifteen years. Since Cam left after high school.
But she’d come back.
Cam and Evan had been high school sweethearts and everyone had been positive they were going to get married. But things never seemed to work out the way you expected them to when you’re seventeen and one misunderstanding had turned into a bigger one. It had taken fifteen years and Cam moving back to town with her teenage daughter for the two of them to find their way back to each other and finally figure out that they’d loved each other all along.
Now they were married with a baby and as far as Ben could tell, his best friend had never been happier.
If he wasn’t so bloody happy for them, he’d be jealous. Really jealous.
He’d managed to convince himself for a long time that he didn’t want or need all that. There’d only been one woman he’d loved and when that hadn’t worked out, well, it just didn’t seem like something he needed in his life.
“It will be awesome.” Ben forced himself to focus on the conversation. “Theo is pretty friggin’ cute. Thank God he takes after his mom.” He laughed and ducked as Evan threw a paper coaster at him. “Seriously, though,” he said. “It’s awesome to see everyone so happy. And so many babies.” He rolled his eyes, but he meant what he’d said. It was great to see all his friends so happy.