by Elena Aitken
The song changed and the beat picked up but Logan didn’t miss a step as he led Amber around the floor. As they moved, she was able to take in the scene surrounding them. Her eyes landed on Cam and Evan standing at one of the tables next to the dance floor. Evan was holding baby Theo while Cam doted on them both, fussing with something around the baby’s mouth. Even as Amber spun around the room, her eyes kept landing on the little family.
And then it happened.
Her stomach clenched, her breath caught in her throat, and she knew. That’s what she wanted. A family.
She’d done a good job lying to herself, but that’s exactly what it was. A lie.
She may never have wanted any of this in the past, but things changed. Her entire life had been flipped upside-down when she moved back to Timber Creek.
Amber looked up at Logan again and her heart broke a little bit more. She wanted a future with this man more than anything else in the world, but if that future wasn’t going to be everything she needed, that wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
She needed to know.
It was long past time that they had a real conversation.
“Babe?”
Logan looked down, the smile still on his face.
“We’ve been so busy lately,” she said. “I think we need a little time to catch up and talk.”
“Of course.” His smile faded a little. “Is everything okay?”
She forced a smile. The last thing she wanted to do was dampen the festive feel of the night. “Let’s talk in the morning, okay?”
“Have you tried the smoked trout puffs?” Ben grinned and popped another bite into his mouth, as Drew joined him at the side of the dance floor. “Rumor has it that the caterer takes requests.”
“Only from some people.” Drew grinned and took a parmesan knot from his plate.
“It’s all delicious, Drew,” Ben said more seriously. “You did an amazing job and I’m not the only one who thinks so.”
“Oh yeah?” She paused before taking a bite. The need for approval for all of her hard work was written on her face, and Ben was more than happy to be the one to tell her how amazing everything was. Not that he would be the only one, because Drew really had done a fantastic job.
“I’m hearing it from everyone,” he reported truthfully. “I have a feeling you’re going to be very busy. Or at least as busy as you want to be.”
She popped the rest of the treat in her mouth and tried to hide her smile but Ben could see how proud she was, and for good reason. She’d worked hard.
“Have you eaten anything yourself?” He watched her finish off the rest of the treats on his plate. “You’ve been so busy, have you had a chance to even sit down?”
“The last thing I want to do is sit down.” She dabbed at her lips with a napkin and took the now empty plate from him. “Besides, I just ate.” Drew deposited the plate on a table behind them and took his hand. “Will you dance with me?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” He chuckled and led the most beautiful woman in the room to the dance floor area, where he pulled her into his arms. His dance skills were a bit rusty, but Drew fit so perfectly in the curve of his arms that it was easy to guide her around the floor, and she matched him step for step, as if they’d been dancing together for years.
With every step they took, Ben’s happiness grew. Never would he have imagined this moment, but now that it was here, he felt like a little kid on Christmas morning, giddy with the possibility of what could be. Ben was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that it took him a moment to notice that Drew’s posture had stiffened.
“Hey.” He reached down and lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. “What’s going on?”
“They’re looking.”
“Who?” Ben instinctively looked around to see what she was talking about, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. “Who is looking?”
“Everyone.” Drew ducked her head and tried to pull away, out of his arms. Fortunately for Ben, he had a tight hold so she couldn’t make her escape. “They’re all looking.”
“Drew.” He wanted to make light of the situation, but there was a certain level of panic in her eyes that he couldn’t quite make sense of. Ben steered her to the corner of the room and stopped moving, using his body as a shield from the rest of the room. “What’s going on? No one is looking.”
She shook her head, but wouldn’t meet his eyes. The shift in her was so immediate and so intense, Ben couldn’t ignore her concerns. But that didn’t mean he could understand them. “Help me understand what’s going on,” he pleaded with her.
She tried again to wiggle away from him, but he only held her tighter. Instinctively, he knew that if he let her get away from him, he might not be able to get her back—and he still didn’t know why.
“Everyone,” she said after a moment. “They’re all looking at me.”
Ben turned around, his arms still around her, and scanned the crowd. If anyone was looking at them, it was only because they were causing a very small scene in the corner of the room. But everyone was busy with their own lives, enjoying themselves, and as far as Ben was concerned, no one was paying any attention to them. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Drew. No one is looking at us. I promise.”
But it didn’t matter what he said. She was seeing something, or more likely, feeling something, he couldn’t pick up on. Inexplicably, her eyes filled up with tears.
“No, Drew.” He wiped at her cheek. “Don’t cry. Tonight has been…” He let the statement trail off because it didn’t matter what the night had been.
“I’m sorry.” She dashed her arm across her face in an effort to clear the tears and sniffed loudly. “I just…we were dancing and…they were looking.”
He shook his head, ready to ask one more time, who exactly was looking, but she beat him to it.
“Everyone,” she said as way of explanation. “They were looking at us dancing and laughing and I know what they were thinking.”
The realization of what exactly was going on struck him. “No.” Ben shook his head a little. “It’s not like that, Drew. No one is looking at us and they—”
“They are.” Another tear slipped down her cheek. “And they’re all probably thinking about what a terrible person I am.”
“Why the hell would they think that? You’re amazing.”
It didn’t matter what he said; she obviously needed to go through the emotions, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try everything he could think of to make her see the truth.
“I promise you that no one is thinking anything about you or me or whatever it is that we’re doing. And you know what else?”
She looked up and blinked at him. Her eyes were wide and so full of hurt that Ben knew in that instant that he’d do whatever he could to take away any pain that she’d ever felt and give his own life to keep her from feeling any more. “Anyone who would ever think that you’re a terrible person is someone I don’t want to know and not someone who matters. You know that, right?”
She didn’t answer right away, but Ben saw her look past him to the busy room beyond them. He watched as her eyes scanned the crowd before finally coming back to land on him. “I know you’re right,” she said slowly. “And I don’t even know where that came from.”
“It’s okay.” He traced a finger tenderly down her cheek. “You’re allowed to feel whatever you need to. There’s no right or wrong way to do this.” He could see the color return to her cheeks, the light back into her beautiful eyes as whatever panic that had overtaken her receded.
After a moment, Drew shook her head and attempted to laugh. “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to put a damper on our night. It just hit me that this was the first time. I mean, it’s our first time out like this and…well, I know people have opinions of what a good widow should look like.”
“You’re the best widow.”
It was such a ridiculous thing to say that they both laughed.
“You know what I
mean.”
“I do.”
“I know this isn’t easy,” Ben said. “But I would really like to dance with you again, if you’re okay with it?”
She took a minute to answer, and Ben couldn’t be sure what her response would be. He was fine either way, but having her in his arms, her curves snugged up against him, was just about as close to perfect as he could imagine and he really hoped she would say yes.
The moment she nodded and smiled, he took her hand and led her to the center of the dance floor. “You’re good?” Ben wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
“I’m good.” She nodded. “More than good.”
“I’ve got you, Drew.” People swirled around them in time to the faster song, but Ben maintained his slow rhythm, focused only on the woman in his arms. “I love you.” They’d been three little words he’d wanted to say for so long that they rolled off his tongue naturally. Time didn’t matter to him because as far as he was concerned, when you knew, you knew. And more than anything else in the world, at that moment, he knew exactly how he felt about the woman in his arms.
Chapter Nineteen
The morning after the party, Amber woke up with a sense of dread. The night before had been perfect. Every detail had gone off without a hitch. They’d danced and celebrated and…she’d finally realized her true feelings. She could no longer pretend. She needed to talk with Logan and tell him exactly how she felt. It was the only honest thing to do.
She turned to face Logan’s empty side of the bed and trailed her hand over his pillow and the gentle dip where his head had rested. When had he gotten up? She hadn’t even heard him leave.
Slowly, Amber pulled herself from the safe confines of her bed, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and went in search of the man she loved. He wasn’t in the kitchen of their tiny cabin, which meant there was only one other place he could be.
The stables.
Of course. Logan wasn’t stupid; he knew something was up with her. Of course he’d seek out the comfort and company of the horses.
The morning sun was already warm on her bare arms as she crossed the yard toward the stables. It wasn’t unusual for Logan to get up early to spend time with the horses. It was definitely his happy place. And it had become very much a safe space for Amber over the last few months as well.
But this morning her heart was heavy as she pushed the wooden door open. “Logan?” Her voice sounded small in the space so she cleared her throat and tried again. “Logan? Are you in here?”
There was no answer except the whinnying of a horse, so she went into the barn. It was darker inside, but sunlight streamed through high windows and left sunbeam lines marking the floorboards down the center of the space. She blinked to let her eyes adjust to the light, and that’s when she saw him.
“Logan?”
Amber stepped farther inside as Logan took a step out of the shadows toward her. “Morning, babe. You slept in. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“You have?”
Even with the distance between them, she could see the smile on his face. “Of course,” he said. “You told me last night you wanted to talk.”
Her stomach twisted but she nodded. “I did. I mean…I do. I think we should—”
“Before we talk about that,” he interrupted her. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to do. Would you mind coming in a little bit and helping me out?” There was something about his voice that she couldn’t pinpoint but she did as he asked and walked toward him.
“Logan, whatever it is that you’re going to—”
“Babe.” He stopped her with a chuckle and the lift of his hand. “Please. I know it’s hard for you to give up the control, but just give me a minute, okay?”
She swallowed her protests and nodded as she came to stand in front of him. Poppy hung her head over the door of her stall and Amber turned to scratch the horse’s nose.
When she turned back to Logan, her hand flew to her mouth because he’d dropped to one knee and was holding out…a ring box?
“Logan? What the—”
“Amber Monroe, from the moment you walked into my life, you have turned it completely upside-down in all the best ways. I never thought I wanted or needed anything more than what I had and what I was doing with my life, but you have singlehandedly changed everything.”
Amber opened and closed her mouth but no words came out.
“When I stop to look at what we’ve accomplished together in only a few short months, I know the future for us is limitless.” He continued as if she wasn’t already completely shell-shocked.
Amber couldn’t process what was happening. Why was he doing this? What was he asking? He’d already told her he didn’t want it. He didn’t want the same kind of future she did. What was—
“I love you so much, and I can’t imagine living one minute of this life without you by my side. Together, we can be unstoppable,” Logan continued. “Amber Monroe, will you do me the greatest honor of agreeing to be my wife?”
Every cell in her body screamed at her to say yes. But instead of opening her mouth to utter the simple little word, Amber shook her head. “What are you talking about? I don’t understand.”
Logan stood and with his free hand cupped her cheek. “What’s not to understand, babe? I love you and I—”
“But you told me that you didn’t want to get married,” she blurted. “You told me you didn’t need it or want it and that you didn’t want children and I think I do and for a while I thought I’d be okay not having all of that, but now I realize that I won’t. As cliché as it all sounds, I can’t help it.” A tear slipped from her eye, but she ignored it as she rambled. “I can’t marry you because I want the whole happy-ever-after ending and everything that comes with it and I know you don’t and I have to be—”
“Stop.” He pressed his finger gently to her lips in an effort to silence her. “I need you to hear me. I need you, for just a minute, to get out of your head and stop believing everything you think. I never said that I didn’t want it, Amber. All I said was that I had never wanted it. But now…”
“Now?”
“Now everything is different,” he said. “With you, I believe that anything and everything is possible. I want everything.” He held out the ring box again. “With you.”
Amber’s thoughts raced through her head so quickly she could barely process what was happening. “You want this?”
Logan laughed. “Babe. More than anything. Now listen to me when I say this, okay?”
She nodded numbly.
“Amber Monroe,” he started, “I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love another person. You are my absolute everything and I can’t imagine spending even one moment without you. Now would you please answer the question.” He chuckled and lifted the ring from the box. He took her left hand in his and asked again, “Amber, will you please agree to be my wife?”
It didn’t happen often, but in that moment, Amber was rendered completely speechless as Logan’s words sank in. He wanted to marry her. He wanted all the things that she’d convinced herself he didn’t want. He wanted the future she did. With her. Of course he did. She’d been ridiculous.
Before she could answer, laughter bubbled up from deep within her. She used her free hand to cover her mouth, but it was too late. Laughter burst from her mouth and somehow at the same time she managed to nod and utter the words that would ultimately answer his question. “Of course I will.” Another tear slipped down her cheek and she didn’t try to stop it. “Yes,” she said finally. “Yes! Of course I’ll marry you.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Logan slipped the ring onto her finger and wrapped her up in his arms before holding her face in his hands so he could look directly in her eyes. “You really do have quite an imagination,” he said. “The fact that you could think even for a second that I don’t want to experience every single thing that life has to offer with you is a testament to that. Amber, I plan on spending the rest of m
y life loving you and together we are going to have it all and that’s a promise.”
She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his then because there were no words that could have possibly expressed everything that was in her heart.
Chapter Twenty
Drew poured herself another coffee but she knew that even the strongest coffee in the world wasn’t going to be enough to shake her out of the fog she was walking through the morning after the grand opening of Taking the Reins.
The night before had been a roller coaster. She’d ridden high on the success of the food and her very first catering event. There’d been a few hiccups, but all in all, it had gone off perfectly. There’d been no leftovers and everyone she’d spoken with had complimented her on the food. She’d handed out some cards, and had more than one person promise her that they’d be calling to book her for their event. As far as she was concerned, it was a success.
She should be thrilled.
But there’d also been lows during the night as well. Her panic attack on the dance floor being the most notable.
Drew dropped her head into her hands at the memory of the night before and the way she’d freaked out being with Ben. It had been about the worst thing she could have done at that moment. Everything had felt so perfect. Being in his arms. Dancing around the floor with him. She’d been happy. Laughing even.
And then…Ben had spun her around and her eyes landed on a woman she only vaguely knew from Austin’s school. She was the mother of one of his classmates and she’d been looking at Drew. There’d been something in her eyes. Judgment. Scorn?
Drew couldn’t be sure, but then just like that, a switch flipped and suddenly it had seemed as if everyone were watching her. And they were judging her. They were talking about her and every single person in the room thought she was a terrible person because how on earth could she be laughing and having a good time with another man when her husband had only just died?
Logically, she knew that wasn’t what they were really thinking. And even if they were…who cared? She’d never before cared what anyone else thought. Not really. But…