by M. Malone
Diana clutched him tighter, wishing she could show him that it wasn’t about him. She hadn’t run away because of the things he’d done but because of the things she’d done. More than ever, Diana understood what it was like to do bad things for good reasons. She’d come here under false pretenses but only because she’d truly believed that Rafe had stolen her mother’s jewel and murdered her father in cold blood. If there was a way to go back in time and tell the Diana of a few months ago that she’d been deceived, that the men in her family weren’t the men she’d thought, things would have been different.
Then she cursed herself as a liar because she knew she wouldn’t have changed a thing. Even if she could go back, she wouldn’t stop herself from coming here because otherwise she would have never known Rafe. She would have never known what it felt like to be cherished.
Then she wasn’t thinking at all because Rafe lifted her and slid so deep that her eyes rolled back in her head. Diana screamed from the sheer pleasure, and Rafe paused, those dark eyes she loved, roaming her face to make sure she was okay.
“Too rough?” he whispered.
Her nails tightened in his shoulders, and he hissed at the pain.
Diana tightened her legs around his waist. “Don’t you dare stop!”
He grinned before he rocked his hips again, grinding deeper. They both moaned at the sensation, and Rafe’s fingers tightened under her ass. Diana clutched him closer, her hands roaming over his muscular back and shoulders as she hung on for dear life. He must have liked that because he growled, a low, sexy sound that instantly made her wetter before he set a frantic pace that had her head banging against the wall.
“Oh my God!”
Diana panted, taking in short, sharp breaths as her desire raced out of control. He was so strong, and the fact that he was holding her while he fucked her against the wall was such a turn-on. She purred as the thought of him controlling her body so easily made her think of the other ways he could take control. She wouldn’t have thought she’d ever like the idea of being restrained in any way, but every time he picked her up or held her still so he could do all these dirty, delicious things to her, it was impossible to pretend she didn’t respond.
Soon Rafe was grunting in her ear along with every thrust, and she felt the change come over him. He was rapidly losing control, his hips swinging wildly and his lips moving over hers frantically as he got closer. Diana loved it, seeing him lost in his pleasure, and she thrilled at the idea that she could make a man as stoic as Rafe lose his mind like this. She tightened her internal muscles around him, which felt so good that she moaned.
When he moved, he hit that spot that Diana hadn’t even known existed until a few weeks ago, and suddenly she was coming, biting and scratching as she wailed against his shoulder.
“Fuck! I can’t… Diana, I love you.” Rafe squeezed her so tightly that she almost couldn’t breathe, and then he shuddered as he came too.
For a long time they rested there against the wall until he pulled back slightly to put her down. When Diana looked down and saw the moisture on her thighs, she realized what they’d forgotten in their haste.
A condom.
“Oh shit.”
Chapter Four
Rafe didn’t understand why Diana’s expression went from soft and languid to horrified in the space of a second until he looked down. When he saw the moisture on her thighs, he stilled. It took his brain a minute to comprehend what he was looking at since he was still floating on the high of pleasure he could only find in her arms.
“No condom,” she whispered.
Rafe would never admit it to her, but for a brief moment he felt a flash of joy. What was that about? He had never been the type of guy to dream of family, a white picket fence and a little woman waiting for him to come home. Considering his line of work, that was wise. Because having a family that loved you was just one more point of weakness, something your enemies could exploit.
But there was no denying that the idea of Diana getting pregnant and carrying his baby sent a rush of masculine appreciation through him. Shaking off the crazy thoughts, Rafe ran a hand through his hair as he considered how to handle the situation. This had never happened before, which was telling in itself. After this many years, reaching for a condom was an ingrained part of sex.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. I’ve never forgotten a condom before.”
Her eyes flashed to his at the revealing information, and Rafe turned away, not ready to have her examine him that closely. They hadn’t settled anything between them yet. Why had she run, and what was she doing sneaking back into his place? Luckily, he’d expected her to try something like this, so he’d started circling the block for a while every time he left home, giving him time to get back home as soon as the alarm alerted him. But just because she’d come back didn’t mean he trusted her.
And obviously Diana wasn’t planning on trusting him anytime soon since she looked like the possibility of having his baby was a fate worse than death. The thought stabbed at his heart a little, but he could hardly blame her. What did she know of him really? That he had a shady past and couldn’t tell her anything real? Not exactly prime husband material that women dreamed about.
“It's okay. I'm on the pill. I was just surprised.”
Rafe tipped her chin up so she couldn't avoid his eyes. "I was, too. I've never been irresponsible before. You make me lose control in a way that I've never experienced."
Her breathing increased slightly before her eyes shuttered. "Let me just clean up." She walked into the bathroom and shut the door. A few seconds later, he heard the water come on.
Rafe had taken two steps after her before he caught himself. How pathetic that it made him nervous to have her out of his sight even for the few minutes it would take her to rinse off. There was no window in the bathroom, so she couldn’t escape. And even if there was, they were too high up for that to be an issue.
By the time she’d finished showering, Rafe had his clothes back on and was sitting on the bed, gun at the ready. He wasn’t accepting lies from her. And while his dick couldn’t stay away from her, his mind was in control now. He didn’t want to give her time to think up lies.
She stopped short when she saw the gun.
“Who sent you?”
The question—and the gun—took her off guard, he could tell. What had she expected? Did she really think that she could walk back in here and he wouldn’t have any questions for her? If she did, she clearly hadn’t done that much research on him. Anyone who’d come into contact with him in the past knew that he was relentless when it came to getting the information he wanted. He’d killed for it before.
“None of that matters anymore. All you need to know is that I came here to find a rare diamond called the Jewel of—”
“Of the Sea. That blue diamond,” Rafe finished, his jaw tight. This whole thing was about that stupid diamond? He’d brushed it off when Alan had mentioned it before, but now he wished he’d paid closer attention. He’d just been annoyed at the implication that he’d stolen it, but apparently his superiors at the FBI weren’t the only ones who suspected it had been taken. If others believed it enough to send a female spy to honey trap him into revealing the location, that was bad.
Really fucking bad.
Diana’s eyes narrowed. “Yes. As soon as I found out that you were the one who stole it years ago, I knew I had to try to get it back. But I failed, so… end of story.”
Rafe’s mouth fell open. Of all the things he’d expected to hear, that was at the bottom of the list. Of all the many things that he’d done, he’d never been a thief. But if he had taken it, it would take an army to get it away from him. Not one lone woman who looked like she’d scream if she saw a spider.
Diana had actually thought she could come here and steal the diamond back?
He gave a low harsh chuckle. He’d assumed she’d just been sent in to find the location and report back to someone else. Not that she’d ever try t
o actually take it herself.
“Stop laughing at me, you asshole!”
His laughter cut off when she hurled herself at him. But she didn’t come at him with flapping hands and an uncoordinated attack, she came at him with elbows and fists and… rage.
What the fuck? What happened to the damsel in distress? She landed a sweeping elbow across his cheek, and he cursed low. She quickly followed it up with a punch aimed right for his nose. That one he deflected.
Someone had taught his delicate flower how to fight. And how to fight well. He mostly deflected her blows, refusing to land any of his own. But he quickly realized all that was getting him was beat to shit.
With a growl, Rafe flipped them over and grabbed her hands between one of his. Controlling her easily, he waited until her thrashing calmed down. Then his heart clutched when he saw the tears on her cheeks.
“Fuck, Di. Why are you crying?”
The nickname only seemed to enrage her. She screeched and tried to buck him off, but he was too heavy. “Because I know you know where it is, you asshole. None of this was supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to feel like this. When I left, I knew you didn’t have it, but now you obviously know all about it. You have to know where it is.”
“I don’t know anything about it.”
She scoffed. “Yeah right. All sources indicate it was there before you paid Dieter Vandergraff a visit. Yeah, I know about that too. Your flash drive was very informative. Although I already knew about what you do. Who you are.”
Rafe tried to cover his shock. How was that possible? Then he thought about his little visit to Ian. While the reins of power had shifted at ORUS recently, prior to that, there was no doubt that Orion would have loved to see his downfall. Even though Rafe DeMarco was officially dead, there was always the possibility that Orion had sold information about him, hoping to smoke him out of hiding. Faking his death had worked on everyone else, but it would be completely within character for the former Orion to have had doubts.
“So you betrayed me for money? Was it worth it, sweetheart?”
Diana’s eyes went white hot. “I betrayed you? Hah! And it wasn’t about the money.”
She tried to buck him again, and he firmly planted his hips on hers to keep her from moving. But shit, that sent his blood pressure soaring. “What was it about then?”
She seemed to be considering her answer. Then she shook her head, and he knew he’d lost her. She wasn’t ready to trust him yet. “Nothing. This is just a job to me. No more, no less.”
Rafe didn’t believe that for a second. But until she decided to trust him, he had to accept it.
“Whoever sent you on a job like this should be shot. This isn’t safe. You shouldn’t be approaching dangerous men on your own. What if it had been someone other than me? Anyone else would have hurt you, Diana.”
He hated to think what could have happened if she’d pulled this shit on any of the other ORUS operatives.
“It doesn’t matter anymore because I’ve failed. I have no clue what will happen to me now.”
She looked so miserable that Rafe couldn’t resist a soft kiss to her forehead. He would keep her close. Eventually she would give up her secrets, and he’d figure out who sent her. It was the only way he could keep her safe.
“Don’t worry about any of that now. You’re safe, and you’re going to stay that way.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “You can’t make that promise. No one can. I’ve gotten myself in deeper than I ever imagined. There’s no going back now. All I can do is disappear.”
The thought of her leaving him again, of her being out of his reach, sent a bolt of pure fear through Rafe. Never mind the fact that he could track a whisper on the wind, there was no way she could successfully hide from him for long, but just the idea that she might try made him want to keep her chained to the bed.
Fuck. Control, asshole.
He had to control those base urges. She already thought he was a monster, clearly. He’d watched her face when she mentioned what he’d done to Dieter Vandergraff, and she’d looked disgusted.
As she should be, he thought morosely. It’s in her best interest to see you as you truly are. Dangerous.
He loosened his grip on her wrists slightly. “I’m going to let you up now. Don’t try anything.”
Although her eyes narrowed reflexively at the order, she didn’t try to pull away from him. When he released her hands, she lowered her arms slowly and flexed her fingers.
“What now? You can’t change my mind, Rafe. I know what I’m doing.”
Rafe moved back and allowed her to slide off the bed. “Do you? Because I sure as hell don’t.”
Di rubbed her wrists absently, pretending that she wasn’t ogling Rafe as he moved around the room. Finally she gave up and just stared. The man was sexy, and there was no hiding it. Every time he grabbed at his hair in frustration, his shirt rode up, revealing abs that looked like they’d been chiseled from stone.
Stop drooling, Diana.
He was restless, she could tell. It was funny how she’d already learned to read so many of his quirks and tells. When he was laughing at her, his eyes crinkled slightly at the corners, and he always looked to the side when he was embarrassed. He got twitchy when he was frustrated but eerily calm and silent when he was angry.
Not that she was afraid of him. Wasn’t that interesting? She’d stolen from him, and he wouldn’t let her leave, but she still didn’t feel any fear. It was a bone-deep certainty that told her Rafe would never hurt her, no matter how annoyed or angry he was. It was more than she’d gotten from her own flesh and blood. Her father had sold her to a Russian thug. A man old enough to be her father.
He was supposed to protect her. So much for family loyalty.
And as for her brothers, while they hadn’t exactly been warm and fuzzy growing up, she’d never thought they were bad people. Not the kind of people that she’d read about in Rafe’s files anyway: men who hurt and abused women, trading them for profit as if they were mere objects to be bought and sold like commodities in their portfolio. Is that how they thought of her? Obviously, they were still doing business with Boris, so they knew about the marriage arrangement.
Would she be just like one of those other poor women who found themselves in a shipping crate being sold to some sick bastard? Your cage might be more gilded, but it’s still a cage.
When Rafe took her face between his hands, Di started. Then his thumb brushed over her cheek, and she realized she was crying.
“I’m not sure what to do with you, Di. This is a difficult situation. After what you stole and what you now know, you’re not safe out there.”
Di snorted. “You’re worried about my safety after I stole from you?”
But she could tell how sincere he was. Something else was at play here. Oh hell, that was the last thing she needed, to start feeling guilty. But there it was. How could a woman not be a little bit charmed by a guy who consistently put her first? Especially one who insisted on looking at her like she was a cinnamon bun that he wanted to lick.
“I’m worried about both of us. That information you took is dangerous and not just to me. To other people who won’t hesitate to harm anyone that gets in their way. Did you show it to anyone else?”
Di shook her head frantically. “No, I didn’t even have time to do that.”
Rafe blew out a breath. “Be honest. Because I can’t protect you if I don’t know what I’m dealing with.”
“You don’t need to protect me. That’s what I’m telling you. Let me walk out of here, and you’ll never see or hear from me again. It’s better that way.”
He rested his forehead against hers so she couldn’t avoid his gaze. It was almost more painful to have to look directly into his eyes. She didn’t want to see the disappointment or anger there when she’d gotten used to him looking at her with affection… maybe even something more than that.
No, Di cautioned herself. It does you no good to start spinning
fantasies about staying here with Rafe. The only way out of this is to disappear to somewhere no one will ever find you.
“If you run from me, I will follow. You have no idea the things that people like that would do to you. The kinds of things men like me are capable of.”
“No, I don’t. Why don’t you tell me?”
Di wasn’t sure where she got the courage to ask such a question, but as soon as it was out there, she realized she truly wanted to know. She knew that he’d been a killer. He had files on other killers. He’d worked for some place called ORUS, and he’d once been FBI, but she didn’t know much else. There was so much information to sift through.
And once she’d seen the information on her family, she’d been too sick to look further. It was clear she should never have seen that information. Rafe kept referring to his past and saying that he wasn’t good for her. But what did that mean exactly?
She felt a sudden and intense need to know exactly what Rafe had survived and what horrible things he had done that he deemed beyond redemption. Was it because she wanted to get to know him better or because she felt guilty for not knowing more about a man that she was halfway in love with?
More than halfway, if she was honest with herself.
“Don’t ask me that. At least now you still look at me like I’m a hero. If I told you more, you’d never look at me that way again.”
When he released her, Di felt like something was being ripped away from her. But it was probably for the best. Although Rafe seemed to think that he could He-Man his way through this, Di didn’t want him to. It would just put him in harm’s way for no reason. If she just vanished, her brothers would probably assume that she’d found the Jewel of the Sea and disappeared with it. This was about profit for them. If they believed she’d stolen the jewel back, they’d focus their resources on looking for her and leave Rafe alone.
It was the only way to protect him.
“So what do we do now?” Di asked. She wasn’t sure what Rafe was planning.