I shake my head and take another drag before sitting down at the chair Faye recently vacated. The kitchen is clean; the chrome on the refrigerator and around the dinette table gleams in the soft light. As I sip on my beer, Faye’s sobs drift down the hall from our bedroom. I drop my cigarette butt in the almost empty bottle and it hisses when it hits the liquid.
Faye and I promised each other when we got married that we wouldn’t go to sleep mad and I needed to stick to my word. I get up and make my way to our bedroom. Faye doesn’t acknowledge my presence except by sniffing loudly and rolling over so her back is facing me. My clean shirts are in a heap on the floor, most likely thrown there in her rage. I undress and change into pajamas before brushing my teeth in the master bathroom. I notice that Faye isn’t the only one whose waistline is expanding. I turn sideways, the beginnings of a paunch isn’t a welcome sight.
Faye’s sobs have died down by the time I climb into bed next her. She rolls away from me again, but I spoon up alongside and put my arm around her.
“Faye, honey, you can’t ignore me forever,” I whisper into her hair. The light brown curls are loose and wild, spilling down her back. Curls she usually has pinned up in a twist. She grunts in response and tries to shrug my arm off.
I cup one of her breasts over her nightgown, it’s plump and juicy. I can’t help but grow aroused by how ripe she is.
“Frank, I’m not in the mood,” she hisses.
“See, I knew you couldn’t ignore me.” I nuzzle her neck and she relaxes a little against me.
“Even if I wanted to, we can’t. It will hurt the baby.”
I groan and flip over onto my back. This has been her excuse for the past month. I guess this means we’re going to actually have to talk.
“Faye, why did you get so upset?”
“I didn’t mean to fly off the handle like that, but I’ve been feeling…” Her voice cracks and she takes a deep, shuddering breath.
“What?”
“Lonely.” Faye rolls over. Her face is drained of color except for the redness surrounding her eyes. I pull her closer so her head rests on my chest. She nestles in.
“I’ve been working a lot to save up money. Babies are expensive.”
“I know and I don’t go out and talk to the neighbors. All my girlfriends are busy with their own lives. I just feel trapped…not to mention I’m a fat cow.” She rests her hand on her belly. Her nightgown stretches tight across and her bellybutton sticks out.
“Let’s invite Dan and Carol over for dinner. I’ll grill up some steaks so you don’t have to do all of the cooking. What do you say?”
Faye smiles, “I’d like that, except they’ll have to bring the baby.”
“They can bring it. We need to get used to having one around.”
“Him, not it. They had a boy, his name is Richard. Richie for short.”
“Right,” I agree and kiss Faye’s forehead. We drift asleep, no longer mad at each other.
Chapter Thirteen
Even though it’s Saturday, one of the busiest days at the dealership, I have the day off to help Faye. She is in her last trimester and has resorted to walking with a strange waddle. Dan and Carol are expected to arrive any minute so I fire up the grill and help Faye get glasses down from the top shelf in the cabinet. The effort of setting the patio table outside has left her panting and flushed.
I pour her a glass of water and she eases into a chair. She takes a sip and sets the glass on the table. A smile slowly spreads and lights up her face. She grabs my hand and places it on her belly. I wait patiently for a few seconds until I feel the ripple of movement underneath my fingertips.
“Junior is active today,” I remark.
“I think he… or she,” Faye looks at me pointedly, “Is excited to party tonight.”
The last month has passed without much turbulence. I put an effort into trying to be more involved. It hasn’t been easy, but I haven’t come home to any more burnt sandwiches. Feeling our baby kick for the first time caused my admiration for Faye to grow tenfold. She isn’t letting herself go; she actually has a person growing inside of her.
The doorbell rings and Faye gets up to let Dan and Carol in. Carol is Faye’s friend from high school. She is the only other from their group of friends who moved from Tucson to Phoenix. I actually met Faye at Dan and Carol’s wedding. I was finishing up classes at ASU and working for a catering company on the weekends to help pay the bills. Faye was in the bridal party and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Before the end of the night, and after refilling her champagne glass more than a few times, we had a date.
Faye and I haven’t seen Dan and Carol since Richie’s christening and I almost don’t recognize them when Faye leads them into the kitchen. Carol is dressed nice and her hair is styled, but the dark bags under her eyes dominate her face. Dan’s black hair has begun to gray at the temples and he appears to be just as exhausted as is wife.
I recover from my shock enough to ask Dan if he wants a drink, which he readily accepts. Carol sets Richie down and the moment his butt hits the high chair seat he starts wailing.
“Oh no, Richie, not again!” Carol cries. She lifts him out of the chair and walks away into the living room. I notice Faye massage her belly as if soothing Junior.
Dan watches his wife in silence and chugs his whiskey. “Can I have some more?” he asks. Faye takes his glass and refills it.
Carol returns with Richie in her arms and he is kicking and screaming. He has a fistful of her blonde hair and she winces with every yank. “Sorry, he didn’t nap this afternoon. We hardly go out anymore. Little Richie can be such a handful.” As if to emphasize this statement, Richie lands a solid kick into his mother’s abdomen.
“See what you have to look forward to?” Dan adds and hands me his empty glass for yet another refill.
“Let me show you the nursery,” Faye suggests and steers Carol clear of the china cabinet, which is dangerously close to Richie’s flailing limbs.
Dan follows me out to the patio, grabbing the bottle of Jim Beam on his way while I grab the platter of steaks.
The meat hisses when it makes contact with the grill and I’m silent as I stare into the flames. This certainly isn’t turning out to be the relaxing evening I imagined it to be.
“So, any advice for a soon-to-be-dad?” I ask Dan.
“Run,” he says with a lopsided grin. “I love Richie, don’t get me wrong, but I had no idea how much work being a parent is. I thought with Carol being home that at the end of the day, I’d return from the office, kiss Richie on the cheek and off to bed he’d go. We’re lucky if he sleeps longer than 3 hours.”
“Really?”
Dan nods and takes another gulp. “Another thing,” he points at me, swaying a bit on his feet. “I wouldn’t wish colic upon my worst enemy.”
“What’s that?”
“Gas or something, but the doctor can’t do anything for it. Richie has screamed pretty much his entire first four months.”
“My God.” Now it’s my turn to drink.
“Your life’s going to change in a big way. Good luck, my friend.” Dan taps his glass to my beer.
“I’ve been thinking about getting away before Junior arrives. You know Sam, down at the dealership?” Dan nods. “Well, he offered me use of his cabin up by Flagstaff. I’m thinking next month, when Faye’s mother arrives, is a good time to go. Are you interested?”
“Can I move there permanently?” he asks and laughs. “Yes, count me in.”
We’re interrupted when Faye and Carol walk out. Richie is relatively calmer and he regards me with big blue eyes. I smile at him and his face scrunches up before he buries it into Carol’s neck.
“Oh, now he’s shy!” Carol laughs. She sits him down in the high chair, which was an early present from my parents. Halfway through dinner Richie falls asleep. Carol and Dan visibly relax after this and we enjoy a peaceful, adult dinner.
“Faye, Frank, thank you so much. We needed this!” C
arol slurs and hugs us.
“This was fun. We’ll have to do it again!” Faye calls after them as they’re walking to their car.
Dan has Richie slung over his shoulder and he weaves a little bit in place when he turns and winks at me. “Let me know about that weekend, Frank.”
“Will do.”
“What weekend?” Faye asks.
“I’ll tell you later,” I mumble and wave at our departing guests.
Chapter Fourteen
Faye is glaring at me with her eyes narrowed to slits and her arms crossed. “When were you planning on telling me?”
“It had only been a thought and I just mentioned it to Dan.”
“You’re going to leave me in my last month of pregnancy?”
“Just for a long weekend and your mother will be here.”
“There you go again; leaving me housebound while you go off to do God knows what.”
“It will be my last weekend of fun for a long time.”
“Oh, what, I’m not fun? Your child isn’t going to be fun?”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
Faye doesn’t say anything, she just walks way. “Faye, I’m going. I make the money around here and it’s my choice.” She disappears into our bedroom. “Besides, I can’t stand your mother,” I mutter after I think she’s out of ear shot.
“I heard that!”
****
Dan calls me at the office the day we’re supposed to leave. Richie is running a fever and he can’t go. “Come on, Dan. Carol can handle it. That’s her job.”
“I’m not happy. Trust me, I’ve been looking forward to this weekend, but I can’t leave Richie.”
“Fine,” I snap and hang up the phone.
At least my two friends from college are still up for the weekend and we’re planning on meeting at the Museum Club on Route 66 later that night.
I leave the dealership early, stop to fuel up the Bel Air and pick up a six-pack of Schlitz for the road. Faye and her mother are playing cards at the dinette table when I get home. My mother-in-law gives me a disapproving glare over her horned rimmed glasses which rest at the end of her large nose.
“Are you still going?” Faye asks without glancing up from her handful of cards
“Yes, but Dan isn’t.”
“You’re driving alone?”
“I’ll be fine.” I bend over and kiss the top of her head before retrieving my bag from our bedroom. Faye had packed for me while I was at work.
I change into travel clothes, a pair of loose khaki pants and my favorite bowling shirt, and return to the kitchen to say goodbye. I kiss Faye’s belly and then her cheek. I lean over to kiss my mother-in-law’s cheek, but she turns her head away.
“Go, have your fun, Frank. Don’t worry about your wife who is carrying your child.”
“Hey, this gives you a chance to catch up and talk about me behind my back,” I force a smile.
“Hmm,” she says with her lips pursed into a thin line.
Faye walks me out to the car and I hug her before getting in. Even though it’s early May, the late day sun has heated the seats and the warmth burns through the thin fabric of my bowling shirt. The convertible top is down and Faye carefully bends over, her swollen belly barely brushes against the door when she rests her arms on the doorframe.
“When are you trading this in again?”
“After I get back - promise.”
She gives me a faint smile and I catch a glimpse of sadness in her eyes. “Don’t do anything stupid, especially if Jake dares you. You’re not in college anymore.”
“I’ll be fine.” There’s an edge to my voice because she sounds like a mother sending her child off to school. Her mother’s influence is already rubbing off. Going away is a brilliant idea.
Chapter Fifteen
In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have been driving. I shouldn’t have had a six-pack of beer in the front seat with me either. I know that now, but it’s too late.
There was a considerable amount of traffic on the highway. It seemed like everyone wanted to get out of the heat and escape to the mountains or lakes. The stop and go of the traffic started to lull me to sleep. I shook it off and cracked another beer. Just past Black Canyon City and Cave Creek the cars spread out a bit so I stepped on the gas. My car handled the curves like a dream. My fifth beer was going down smooth, the weekend without the nagging wife stretched out ahead of me.
I pulled a pack of Lucky Strikes out of the breast pocket of my bowling shirt. As I was lighting up a cigarette, I stopped paying attention to the road. I came around the bend and saw brake lights. There wasn’t time to slow down and I slammed into the back of a Suburban. My car flipped over onto its side and the metal crunched upon impact. This didn’t slow down the momentum though and sparks flew as my car squealed across the highway. I closed my eyes to protect them and suddenly the screeching stopped. I opened up my eyes to see why. My Bel Air had shot out over the embankment and time slowed, making it seem like I was suspended in the air. There was nothing I could do except brace for impact as the ground raced up to meet my car.
“I’m sorry Faye,” I whispered and closed my eyes again as the car crumpled and I was ejected out. Everything went snow white and quiet. My first recollection after that was of gravel and rock skittering down the side of the hill, like a mini avalanche. A highway patrol officer followed in pursuit. I raised my arm so he could see me from where I was lying on the ground. He wasn’t stopping. I yelled out so he wouldn’t step on me. Instead he ran right through me. I can’t describe the feeling; it was like I was made of water.
I turned my head and saw the officer helping a medic put a body covered in a white sheet on a stretcher. Blood seeped through the fabric like ink on a blotter. I squinted to see through the dust that had been stirred up, and couldn’t stop staring. That was me! How could that be me? I watched as more emergency people showed up. It took four men to carry my body up the hillside. After everyone left, I realized I was still there. Where was I supposed to go now? I looked up and started at the sight of two people standing on the edge of the highway. A young Mexican woman and a man with weird glasses were staring down at me. They could see me! Upon closer inspection I realized I could see through them. Curious, I started up the embankment. It was quite easy; I kind of just floated up and didn’t have to put any effort into it at all. I glanced down to check my footing, that’s when I noticed that like the people I was approaching, my feet were transparent too.
“Am I dead?” I asked when I reached the top. Lawrence and Juanita smiled and confirmed it. They smiled like it was god damned normal to be having this conversation and I just asked them about the weather when I was dead. Dead! Unable to deal with the anger and fear boiling inside me, I went back down to the mangled remains of my car and waited; thinking maybe my ghost status was only temporary.
When I got tired of being alone, and of staring at the same damn rocks, I tried to walk back to Phoenix. I got as far as maybe thirty feet and couldn’t go any further, as if some invisible shield held me in. “Fine,” I muttered to myself and turned around to walk north. I didn’t really walk, though. I thought about where I wanted to go and suddenly I was there, hitting against another invisible barrier.
I tilted my head towards the sky and yelled. “God, are you up there? Did you forget about me?” I didn’t expect an answer, God didn’t have a good track record of answering my prayers, but it was worth a try.
***
Based on Lawrence’s calculations, I stayed down there for almost two months. It didn’t seem that long, but time does funny things when you’re dead. Finally, when I realized my situation was more permanent, I ventured up to the top of the embankment.
When I reached the top, I saw Lawrence and Juanita standing by a mesquite tree on the other side of the highway. Their backs were to me, but they both turned to face me as soon as I stood behind them.
“We had been wondering how long you were going to stay down there,” Law
rence said, introducing himself first and then Juanita. Out of habit I reached my hand out for a shake and learned, like with solid objects, we couldn’t touch. Our hands just passed right through one another.
“Why didn’t you come to find out?”
“We can’t go that far, only to the edge.”
So we all had similar limitations. I looked past Lawrence to see what they had been so preoccupied with and noticed some bones sticking out of the ground at the base of the tree.
“Are those human?” I asked.
“Si, that’s what’s left of me. Well, and of course this,” she gestures to herself. “Whatever this is.”
I was stunned with how matter-of-fact Juanita was about her bones melting into the ground.
“Do you have any ideas why you think you’re still here?” Lawrence asked.
“Yes.” I proceeded to tell them about Faye and the baby. “I always thought she was being a nag, but I realize now she was ready to grow up. I kept resisting and being a selfish jerk. I’ll never know my child and I didn’t leave much behind for Faye. Plus, I wrecked our only vehicle. I’ve really made a mess of things.”
“We all have children as part of our regrets,” Lawrence said. He told me what happened to him and all I could do was shake my head. I couldn’t imagine watching my family die right in front of me.
“I’m sorry, that is truly horrible.” Tears glittered on the rim of Lawrence’s eyes, he turned away and disappeared. Moments later he reappeared on the other side of the highway.
“He’ll need to be alone for a while.” I was so caught up in Lawrence’s story, I had forgotten about Juanita. Her soft voice captured my attention.
“Do you have a similar story?” I asked.
“Nothing as tragic, but I left a daughter behind. Her name is Mariella.” Juanita’s body lit up at the mention of her child’s name and I took a step back.
“What?” she asked.
“You flicker, do you know that?”
End of the Road (Ghost Stories Trilogy #1) Page 6