“I suppose they do,” Mandy conceded, “but I’ve really been thinking about Langston’s verbal abuse. It’s funny, but when you’re living with it all the time, you almost get to where you don’t hear it.”
“That’s awful,” Phil said sincerely.
“It is,” Mandy said, “but that really is what happens. He didn’t treat me at all the way he treated them. And Katie is incredibly strong; she has this way of putting things in perspective and moving on.”
“And Jenny doesn’t?”
“Don’t get me wrong,” Mandy said, sounding almost proud, “Jenny always fought back. But it cost her. She used to absolutely infuriate Langston, and when she did the same thing to Robert Marino, he hit her. Katie has always said Jenny just doesn’t know when to stop poking rattlesnakes.”
"Is there anything at all I can do to help?" Phil asked. “Just tell me and I’ll do it.”
Mandy shook her head. "I don't think so," she said. "What really has me frustrated is that there's not much I can do either. It's best to let Katie deal with it. She generally knows how to handle Jenny better than anyone, but I hate the waiting."
"Of course you do," Phil said, going back to his breakfast. “Anyone would. I know you say Kate just has a way of dealing with these things, but how is she holding up? She has to be worried to death.”
“She is,” Mandy said. “If I had to guess, I’d say she’s probably not sleeping much.”
“From what I’ve gathered,” he said, “she doesn’t get much rest anyway. She's in pain most of the time, isn't she?"
"How did you know?" Mandy asked. "She never talks about it with anybody but us."
Phil shrugged. "I knew a lot of guys in Nam who lost limbs," he said. "They all had phantom pain. Their arms and legs would hurt even though there was nothing there anymore. For some of them, the pain never went away. I can see it around Kate’s eyes, toward the end of the day when she's tired."
Mandy nodded. "That's when it's worst," she agreed. "She still works too hard. I'm hoping being with Jake and having Dusty to manage this place will get her to slow down a little bit."
"I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you," Phil laughed. "That woman has to be working. She's too purposeful by nature just to sit around. Besides, I imagine the work takes her mind off the chronic pain. That's a terrible syndrome to live with."
"Katie gets that work ethic from Langston," Mandy said. "I will give him that. He was a lot of things, but lazy wasn't one of them."
Phil leaned back in his chair. "Irene described him the same way," he said. "She said he was cheap to the point of being a skinflint, but that you all always had enough money."
"We did," Mandy agreed, "but Mama didn't know it was because he was sitting on a stash of Aztec treasure."
"No, she didn't," Phil replied, "but she did tell me about his secret life up there in the cave drawing pictures of Alice Browning."
"Her name is Elizabeth now," Mandy said, "and after George Fisk's funeral, I'd like to introduce the two of you. She's been a wonderful friend to me and she was a good friend to Mama at the end of her life."
"I'm looking forward to meeting her," Phil said. "Will she be coming to the service?"
"Yes, but she'll watch from the little room off to the side where the preacher changes into his robes. Mrs. Fisk arranged it. She said it simply wasn't right for Elizabeth not to be there."
Phil shook his head. "You know some truly remarkable women, honey," he said. "I can't believe how well Mrs. Fisk has dealt with all of this."
"I do know some incredible women," Mandy agreed. "Pauline was one of Daddy's victims, too. Those old women banded together to help Mama and to protect us. They put all their animosities aside." She paused and chuckled, "Well, that's not exactly how Clara would put it, but that's what it amounts to."
"How would Clara describe what they've done?" Phil asked curiously.
Mandy giggled. "She'd say, 'Land of Goshen, we never had time to squabble amongst ourselves. We were too busy cleaning up the messes the men made.'"
They both laughed. "I suspect she's quite right about that," Phil said. "Lord knows as a species we men can be a little limited at times."
Mandy played with her napkin. "What do you think is going to happen between Josh and Jenny?" she asked. "I know what I think, but I'd like a man's take on it."
"Doesn't Joe have an opinion?" Phil asked.
"If he does, he's not telling me," Mandy says. "Joe wants everyone to get along. Whatever happens, he'll make the best of it, but it's going to be hard on us all if Josh leaves."
Phil sighed. "It's a mess, that's for sure," he said. "And as for what I think about it, well, truth be told, I really haven't been around your sister long enough to know."
"You're just being diplomatic, Daddy," Mandy said. "I watch you watching us. You see everything. I know you have an opinion. Please tell me."
He looked down, thought for a minute, and then met her eyes. "I think she's going to give him his ring back and ask him to move out."
Mandy nodded sadly. "I think that's what's going to happen, too."
"Do you understand why?" Phil asked.
"I think so," Mandy said, "but tell me."
"She's not going to trust herself to be with him anymore," Phil said. "She's going to see that what has happened has revealed her own problems more than giving her any new information about him."
"Yes," Mandy said. "That's it exactly."
"Will Kate try to change her mind?" Phil asked.
"No," Mandy said. "Katie will just make her feel safe enough to come home and face the whole thing, but she won't try to influence what Jenny does. That's not the kind of relationship they have. Katie kind of treats Jenny like a . . . "
"Balky horse," Phil finished for her. When Mandy looked at him in surprise, he added, "I was born on a ranch, too, honey."
"I forget that about you," she admitted. "But you're exactly right. Jenny has to have her own head. She's been that way her whole life."
"She comes by that honestly," Phil said. "Your mother was the same way."
Mandy traced the edge of the cloth placemat in front of her with her index finger. "Did you love my mother?" she asked in a voice so low Phil had to lean forward to hear her.
"Did I love your mother?" he asked. "I still love your mother. I always will."
"Was she difficult like Jenny?"
"Not in the same way," Phil said. "But Irene had been hurt, too. Her own father wasn't as bad as Langston, but he was still a stern and difficult man. Irene was a curious mixture of a very proper lady and a bit of a spitfire."
"Mama?" Mandy said, her eyes growing wide. "A spitfire? She was the quietest, most gentle person I ever knew."
"Of course she was," Phil said. "How else was she going to be with a little girl? But I assure you, honey, when your mother got her back up she was . . . well, she was magnificent."
"You sound like you admired that part of her."
"I did," Phil said. "It isn't a quality I have, but I loved it in her. It's part of why she was able to survive all this."
"Do you think she had any happiness in her life at all?" Mandy asked with tears in her eyes.
"I do," Phil answered immediately.
"What was it?"
"The three of you."
Mandy gave him a brilliant smile. "Thank you for saying that," she said. "I just wish I could have really known her."
"Haven't you learned a lot about her from her notebooks?" Phil asked.
"Notebooks?" Mandy said. "You mean like a journal?"
"Not exactly," Phil said. "Irene liked to write things down. Quotations. Observations about things she saw and heard. The one I saw was filled with clippings and odd bits of paper. When I asked her about it, she said she'd been doing it since she was a child, ever since she saw Leonardo's notebooks for the first time. It was all very free-form with sketches and doodles, lines going every which way. She told me it helped her think."
"What did these noteboo
ks look like?"
"She had them made in Boston and sent down here," he said. "They were all identical according to what she told me. About this size." He made a rectangle with his hands. "Her initials were embossed on the covers and the books were closed shut with leather ties."
"I've never seen anything like that at the house," Mandy said, "and neither Katie nor Jenny has ever mentioned anything about notebooks." She put her hand to her mouth. "Oh, no," she gasped. "Do you think Langston destroyed them after she died?"
"I hope not," Phil said. "Those books might help the three of you get to know her better. There might even be something in them that could help Jenny."
"Then we have to find them," Mandy said firmly. “Even if we have to turn the house upside down, we have to find them.”
104
Kate listened to Phil describe the notebooks Irene used and nodded her head. "Yes," she said. "I do remember those. Mama carried one in her purse. It was always overflowing with clippings and coupons. She'd stick her Green Stamps in there. I didn't know she used it for anything but shopping lists though."
Phil smiled. "She never wanted your father to think it was anything more than that either," he said, "but she let me look at the book she was using while we were together. It was full of bits of poetry, little sketches of things she saw in her world, quotes from books she was reading. It was fascinating. I've never seen anyone keep a book quite like that before."
"Do you think her notebooks are still here?" Mandy asked.
Kate shook her head. "Baby Sister, we went all over this house when we were looking for clues to what Daddy was up to all those years in Baxter's Draw. If the notebooks were here, we would have found them."
"That's too bad," Phil said. "I hate it that Jenny is so worried that your mother had some kind of mental instability. I don't know how to describe Irene to you all accurately. She was so brimming with energy and creativity. There was just no outlet for all that talent in the life she led here. I think Jenny would see that instantly if she could just see those books."
"Can't we please look, Katie?" Mandy pressed. "I would love to see those books, too."
Kate smiled at her. This was the first sign of Mandy's bubbly personality and infectious enthusiasm she'd seen in weeks. "Tear the floorboards up if you like," she said. "I don't care. It would be wonderful to have them."
For the next two hours, the three of them searched through every drawer, cupboard, and closet in the house to no avail. When Jake came in from his day at the Institute, he found the three of them sitting on the front porch drinking tall glasses of iced tea and recuperating from the fruitless search. Bending down to kiss Kate, he asked, "Have you been wrestling steers today? You look exhausted."
"Steers would have been easier," Kate said, smiling up at him. She explained about the notebooks as he poured his own glass of tea from the pitcher on the table.
"It would have been great if you could have found them," he said, sitting down across from her. "Those kinds of things can be a wealth of information about how a person thinks, the things that interest them, how they spent their time."
Kate laughed. "You can't stop being an archaeologist for 5 minutes, can you?"
Jake shook his head. "Afraid not. I pretty much see everything as an artifact that just hasn't gotten old yet."
"Oh, really," Kate said, raising an eyebrow in his direction. "Is that so?"
"I said everything, honey," he pointed out. "Not everyone."
Phil raised his tea glass in mock salute. "Nice recovery, Professor. Well done."
The sound of tires on the drive made them all look toward the front gate. Dusty drove up in front of the house and got out of the truck holding a sheaf of papers in her hand. "Hello the house!" she called merrily as she opened the gate.
"Hello and welcome," Kate called back. "Any particular reason we're calling out old lines from cowboy movies to each other?"
Dusty bounded up the walk and flopped down in one of the remaining chairs. "I would kill for a glass of that tea," she announced.
"Coming right up. No murder required," Jake said. "Let me go get you a glass."
"You sound almost chipper," Kate said, eyeing her friend. "What's up?"
"The preliminary results on the soil samples came in yesterday via email," Dusty said, "but I asked the lab to overnight the full report so I could go over it more carefully. I think we have a site for the first vines."
Jake returned with a fresh glass just in time to hear the good news. As he poured Dusty's tea, he asked, "So where's the spot?"
"The big field between here and Mandy's house," Dusty said. "The tests were pretty much perfect, and so is the amount of sun in that area. We just have to decide on the type of grapes we want to put in and wait for the spring."
"And get me educated between now and then," Kate said.
"That's going to be the fun part," Dusy said wickedly. "I warn you, I do not give multiple choice tests."
Jake cleared his throat. "I hate to inject a low note in this conversation, but what time are we leaving for George Fisk's funeral in the morning?"
"The service is at 10 o'clock," Mandy said. "Joe and I have to go in early and help get Elizabeth situated at the church, so we're going into town at 8 o'clock."
"You and I need to leave about 9 o'clock," Kate told Jake. "We'll be gone through the lunch hour, and then I'm leaving for San Antonio."
Jake, who already knew about the plan said nothing, but the others exchanged a worried look. "Has there been news about Jenny?" Dusty asked.
"No," Kate said, "at least not anything I didn't already know. I have a pretty good idea where she is and I'm going to go talk to her."
"And you're not going to tell us where you’re going, are you?" Phil said. "Smart move."
"Am I missing something?" Dusty asked.
"If she doesn't tell us where she's going, we can't tell Josh," Phil answered, "and we don't have to lie to him either. Right?"
Kate nodded. "Right."
"How long are you going to be gone?" Mandy asked.
"I don't know," Kate said. “At least 2 or 3 days I would imagine, but there's something else I need to tell you." She looked at Dusty. "You okay with this?"
Dusty nodded. "Yes," she said. "No more shame. I'm done with that."
Kate described her encounter with Rafe and outlined his threats. She finished by saying, "But we have something on him he’s not gonna want to get out. I'm just telling you all this in case he tries to cause trouble while I'm gone."
"What could you possibly have on Rafe Jackson?" Mandy asked. "I didn't think you two had anything to do with one another."
"We don't," Kate said, looking over at Dusty again for confirmation before she went on. "Are you sure?" she asked.
"Go ahead," Dusty said.
"Rafe molested Dusty from the time she was 10 years old until we were freshmen in high school," Kate said. "If he continues to threaten us, she'll go public."
“Bastard,” Jake muttered under his breath.
“Agreed,” Phil said.
Mandy was out of her chair in an instant, putting her arms around Dusty’s neck. “I am so sorry that happened to you,” she said.
Taken aback by the sudden gesture, but clearly moved by Mandy’s genuine feeling, Dusty had to swallow a couple of times before she could answer.
Finally she managed to say, "Thank you, honey. It was a long time ago. I've never told anyone about it, and the whole thing has just been a big festering secret that's eaten away at me. I'm glad you all know and . . . well, I'm just glad to be here on the Rocking L."
"We're glad to have you here," Mandy said, giving her another fierce hug. "You're part of the family."
Phil cleared his throat. "I don't mean to intrude . . . " he began.
"You're family, too," Kate said. "Speak your piece."
“I don’t think we’ll have any difficulty handling Mr. Jackson,” Phil said, “but Josh is another can of worms altogether. He’s going to know you
've gone to be with Jenny and he's going to be furious when we won't tell him where you are. What should we say?"
Kate set her jaw. "Tell him losing his temper got him in this mess in the first place and losing it again won't help matters. Tell him I said to simmer down and let me tend to this."
"You know this isn't going to turn out the way he wants it to, don't you?" Phil asked quietly.
Kate sighed. "I am afraid of that," she admitted. "But I have to get her to come home."
"Because of the will?" Phil asked.
"No," Kate said. "Because of Jenny. I lost her once. I'm not going to lose her again. And if that means Josh has to go . . . well, I can't help that. I don't like it, but I can't help it."
That night, Jake came around to Kate's side of the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress. "Are you sure you won't let me drive you to San Antonio?" he asked.
Kate shifted against the pillows trying to get some relief from the dull, thudding ache in her shoulder. A fine sheen of sweat covered her forehead and Jake had actually convinced her to take a pain pill for once. "No," she said. "I want the time to think. I'll be okay."
"You don't look okay right now," he said worriedly. "Would a heating pad help?"
"I don't want a heating pad," she said, looking up at him and letting her usual stoic expression fall away. "I want you."
"That's easy to arrange," he said, moving to his side of the bed and climbing in. He propped himself against the headboard and helped Kate ease back until she was lying against his chest, cradled in his arms. "Relax," he murmured against her ear. "Let the pill work."
"What if she won't come home with me?" Kate asked, fear and doubt filling her voice.
"She'll come home with you," he assured her. "I can't even imagine the two of you separated again."
"All those years when she was gone," Kate said, "I was so terribly . . ."
"Lonely," Jake said. "It's okay to admit that."
"I was four years old when Jenny was born," Kate said, her voice growing drowsy. "When Mama came in from the hospital she called me in to meet the baby. You know what she said to me?"
The Lockwood Legacy - Books 1-6: Plus Bonus Short Stories Page 68