No matter how glib the explanations Josh offered, there was no way Langston Lockwood would have given him license to roam all over the Rocking L. Kate’s conversation with Pablo confirmed that Josh was indeed present in those days leading up to Langston’s suicide, but the fact that he was photographing the barn just minutes before her father pulled the trigger was entirely too convenient for Jenny’s liking.
Through the night and into the next morning, Jenny labored to resolve the cognitive dissonance of the two images of Josh Baxter warring in her mind. One was the man who had been her friend and lover; and the other might have worked with Robert Marino, could have been involved in her father’s death, and was now conspiring with an evil pedophile.
By Saturday afternoon, a new notion began to form in Jenny’s reasoning. What if she had been both right and wrong? Could Josh be both of those things, and could his current behavior have been triggered by the fact that she left him without ever really talking to him? Had he been trying to do all the things he’d said? Be her partner, be a good man, turn his back on what he’d been before?
When she allowed that idea to rise fully into her conscious thought, Jenny muttered to herself, “Dear God. I’m starting to sound like Mandy. Grasping at the hope that there’s some good in everyone.”
At the sound of her voice, the whitetail deer feeding at the edge of the field in the growing twilight raised their heads in alarm. Jenny fell silent until the watchful animals calmed, and she sat perfectly still until she could no longer see them. Then she went into the house and stirred the fire back to life.
Glancing at her watch, she estimated that Kate and Jake would just be leaving the Menger to attend his speaking engagement. She loved the idea of Katie staying in a fancy hotel, dressing up in an evening gown, and being escorted to a black-tie affair by a man who really loved her.
Then the juxtaposition struck her. She thought of all the nights her sister had sat alone in this room, by this fireplace. Kate told her, not long after Jenny returned to the Rocking L, “I used to think about you in the city and I hoped you were happy and making a good life for yourself. But I missed you, honey. More than I know how to say.”
There had been a life in New York, but not a happy one. Now Jenny realized that all the goodness had been waiting right here in Texas. Even with the problem of Josh and all the current uncertainties, a feeling of quiet certainty grew within her as each day passed.
More and more, as she spent her hours out in the pasture on Horsefly, Jenny once again felt like a rancher’s daughter. She liked being in the saddle at dawn and the sense of satisfaction she felt when she stepped back from a fence she’d just mended knowing the land on which she stood was secure again and that it was hers.
All her life Jenny had struggled to use the gift of her art to make a place for herself in the world, only to come back to Texas and discover that what she had run away from might actually be what she had wanted all along.
She still sketched and painted, but she’d passed her idea for an artist’s collective off to an enthusiastic group of young people in Kerrville who were happy to take the check she wrote them and set her vague plans down a road of actual realization. The whole project was an idea she liked in theory, but the actualities that drew her attention now were all intricately tied to the land – just the way Katie always said they were.
When Kate showed up with those roan fillies, Jenny asked, “Don’t you miss having more stock on this place?”
Kate had turned toward her with a surprised expression. “You hate working stock.”
“I hated working sheep and goats and cattle,” Jenny countered. “I always loved the horses.”
“Do you want more horses?” Kate asked. “Because there’s nothing to stop you if you do.”
“I don’t know, Katie,” Jenny said seriously. “But I am thinking about it.”
“Are we talking overgrown pets here or breeding?” Kate asked.
“Both,” Jenny said without hesitation. “Am I crazy?”
“Not if it’s what you really want to do.”
“Well,” Jenny said, “we’ve got plenty to worry about right now. Let me think about it some more.”
Somehow two seemingly unrelated concepts merged perfectly in Jenny’s thoughts. She didn’t want Josh Baxter, but she did want to return to her ranching heritage. What she really wanted was what Kate had carved out for herself. Now free of Langston Lockwood’s tyranny, Kate lived her life with quiet authority. No matter who or what came into Kate’s life, she and she alone was the boss of the Rocking L and the arbiter of her own fate. And if Jake Martin hadn’t been good with that, he wouldn’t be with her sister now.
Jenny wanted to be the sole authority in her own life, but before she could do that, she was going to have to find out the truth about Josh Baxter — and the truth about her own instincts. Had she known all along that something wasn’t right about him while still seeing goodness in his nature?
Right now they were working on pure supposition. Jenny was convinced that the truth was even more complicated and likely more painful than they could imagine. But she also knew that without that truth being brought into the light of day, none of them could move forward, including Josh himself.
She could take the truth about him and his actions, but she could no longer live with the doubt. Those days were over. Starting now.
125
Since Kate bought the roans for Sissy and Missy, the twin-orchestrated raids on Mandy’s makeup drawer stopped and hours of browsing horse sites replaced computer chats. “Now I have to fuss at them to actually pay attention to their homework and not to rush through their chores,” Mandy complained. “If it’s not one thing with those two, it’s another!”
“That’s called being a parent,” Joe Bob said. “And you were worried they weren’t going to take good care of Shadow and Cinder.”
“Hah,” Mandy said. “I need sunglasses to cut the glare from the shine on their coats.”
Dusty had taken on the task of teaching the girls how to properly care for the fillies, including proper grooming. Mandy was fine with them using the curry comb and body brush, but pitched a fit when she walked in the barn the day before Kate and Jake were scheduled to leave for San Antonio only to see Sissy using a hoof pick on Cinder.
Mandy motioned to Dusty, who was cleaning tack at the workbench, to follow her outside. When they were beyond earshot, Mandy demanded hotly, “Dusty Jackson, what in the world are you thinking?!”
“About what?” Dusty asked, honestly confused.
“That horse could kick that child right through one of these barn walls,” Mandy said in an outraged voice. “I cannot believe that you have her cleaning hooves!”
“The girls can’t be around horses and not know how to take care of them,” Dusty said, unperturbed by Mandy’s upset. “Any one of us can get kicked any time. It’s part of the deal. Tell her, Katie.”
Kate, who had just joined them, asked, “Tell her what?”
“She’s upset because I’m letting Sissy clean Cinder’s hooves,” Dusty replied.
Frowning, Kate asked, “What’s wrong with that?”
“Oh my God!” Mandy cried in frustration. “The two of you are impossible.”
“No,” Kate said, “you’re the one being impossible. Those girls are living on a ranch. They have horses now, and they’re going to learn how to take care of them and how to be safe around them. Dusty, how many times have you been kicked?”
“Once,” Dusty answered.
“And whose fault was it? Yours or the horse?”
“Mine,” she said. “I came up behind my mare and startled her. How about you?”
“Once,” Kate answered. “I brushed Bracelet’s rump without putting my hand on her to let her know I was there.”
“See!” Mandy demanded. “You’ve both been kicked.”
“We’ve both been kicked once,” Kate corrected her. “It doesn’t take more than that and then you start getting real ca
reful real quick. We’re going to try to make sure Sissy and Missy don’t get to have that experience, but there’s no guarantee. You have to toughen up, Little Mama. I like to worried myself to death the first time I watched you ride off on a horse by yourself, but I made myself get over it.”
Mandy stared at her, a beat behind in the conversation. “What did you just call me?” she asked.
“Huh?” Kate said. “Little Mama? You are a mother now, honey.”
“And I’m acting like one,” Mandy groaned. “Oh my God. I will never be young again.”
Kate and Dusty both cracked up, and they were still chuckling when the three of them walked back into the barn where Sissy and Missy were leading the roans into their stalls. Both animals fairly glowed with good health and good care.
Swallowing hard, Mandy said bravely, “They look great, girls. You’re doing a terrific job with them.”
She was rewarded with broad grins and an excited conversation. “Will you go riding with us this weekend?” Sissy asked. “You said you wanted to.”
“Sure,” Mandy said. “Aunt Katie and Uncle Jake are going to San Antonio and Aunt Jenny is spending the weekend at the K-Bar 3 to get some work done, so we’ll have the whole ranch to ourselves.”
“Can Joe Bob come with us?” Missy chimed in.
“Well, we can ask him,” Mandy said, “but I really don’t know if he likes to ride or not.”
“He’s awful worried about that lady running against him in the election,” Sissy said. “He needs to come have some fun with us. Can we have a picnic and everything?”
“Why don’t you all go up to the dry creek bed on your ride?” Kate asked. Turning to the twins, she said, “When Mandy was your age, she loved to go up there and hunt for fossils. She could always find more than anyone. I bet she still can.”
So, a plan was hatched in the barn, which Mandy was now presenting to Joe Bob in his workshop. His initial reaction was cautious at best.
“Me?” Joe Bob said. “Get on a horse?”
“Do you really not know how to ride a horse?” Mandy asked.
“I wouldn’t say that,” Joe Bob replied, arranging his tools on the new pegboard he had just installed over his workbench. “But I haven’t been on one in years and neither have you. I mean, honey, honestly, in all the time we’ve been together, you haven’t gone riding once. Is this a good idea?”
Mandy laughed. “I’m expecting to be a little sore the day after,” she admitted, “but I’m not worried about riding. I love horses. Some things you just don’t forget how to do. I want the girls to see another side of me. I’m not all pretty clothes and makeup.”
And it was that very assertion that she proved Saturday morning when, to the amazement of her husband and daughters, Mandy threw a saddle on Bracelet’s back without hesitation and expertly went about the job of securing it in place.
Missy had to help Joe Bob, who managed to get the saddle on Horsefly, but then confessed he didn’t know what to do next. The old horse turned his head and looked at the human with whom he would have to be dealing this day and snuffled as if to say, with weary resignation, “Not again.”
Joe Bob eyed him askance and said, “I don’t need any of your editorial comments, Horsefly.”
In response, Horsefly shook his head and went back to staring stolidly toward the barn door, as always, the soul of patience with mere mortals.
When everyone was ready, Mandy lifted herself fluidly into the saddle and held the reins loosely and easily in her hands. Sissy and Missy gazed up at her with wide and admiring eyes, and Joe Bob said, “Wow!”
“Wow, what?” Mandy grinned down at him.
“You really do know what you’re doing, don’t you?” he said admiringly.
“Of course, I do,” she said. “Kate and Jenny wouldn’t have had it any other way.”
As the group made their way slowly up toward the dry creek bed, Sissy and Missy happily went off on side excursions, with the stern injunction from Mandy that they not get out of her sight. Their absence left Mandy and Joe Bob free to talk.
“You doing okay over there?” Mandy asked.
“I’m fine,” Joe Bob grinned back at her. “It’s a beautiful morning and I’m out with my girls. I couldn’t be happier.”
“Me either,” Mandy said, her eyes on the twins. “Just look at them. Jolene would be so happy to see them out here having fun.”
“I can’t wait to adopt them,” Joe Bob said, following her gaze. “I feel like they’re ours already.”
They rode along in contented silence for a few minutes, and then Mandy said, as if the idea had just occurred to her, “Hey, I didn’t even ask you, why were you installing that new pegboard in your workshop?”
“Oh,” he said, “I’m getting ready to start refinishing furniture again. It’ll help me keep my mind off work and all this election stuff.”
“That’s a great idea,” Mandy said. Then she asked, uncertainly, “Do you miss your place in town?”
“Huh?” he said, frowning. “Why in the world would you ask me that?”
“Well,” she said, “you had everything just the way you wanted it with all that gorgeous furniture. I just wondered if you feel like you gave up a lot to come out here to the ranch.”
“Honey,” he said, “I feel like I gained the world coming out here to the ranch. I’m happier than any man has a right to be.”
She hesitated and then said, “What are you going to do if the election doesn’t go your way?”
“I’m going to run the hardware store, refinish furniture, and raise a family with you.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
Joe Bob shifted in the saddle. “I thought I had higher political ambitions,” he admitted. “But I’m glad I didn’t run for the legislature. Having Sissy and Missy has really shown me what’s important in life, and politics isn’t part of that. I like being mayor, but I can still work to make the town better whether I’m in office or not. Whatever happens is what’s supposed to happen. I believe that.”
Mandy sighed, clearly relieved. “I’m so glad to hear you say that. I’ve been worried about you.”
“Don’t be,” he assured her. “In fact, as mayor of this town, I hereby extend my jurisdiction to this pasture and outlaw any worry today about anything.”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Mayor,” she giggled. “Come on, race you to the tree line.”
Bracelet, who loved to run, needed nothing more than the tap of the reins to surge forward. Behind her, Mandy heard Joe Bob yell, “Hey, no fair!” before crying, “Horsefly! Slow down!” as the old horse, reading the situation without any input from his hapless rider, galloped after Bracelet.
Sissy and Missy saw what was happening and joined in the race so that the whole family arrived at the dry creek bed in a cloud of dust and a riot of laughter. Since it was still early in the day, they unsaddled the horses and left them to graze, spreading out to start their fossil hunt.
“This is how it works,” Mandy said. “Everybody gets to take one fossil home with them. It has to be your best one of the day, and we all get to vote.”
A little before noon, Mandy left the group to start laying out their picnic under a copse of live oak trees. To her surprise, the smell of the food sent an unexpected wave of nausea through her so intense she thought she might vomit. The feeling passed as quickly as it had come over her, but just to be safe, she ate sparingly.
Sissy and Missy plowed through their sandwiches like ravenous small animals and then, recharged, went back to their rock hunting. Joe Bob, who sat propped against one of the trees, looked curiously at his wife. “Are you okay, honey?” he asked. “You hardly ate a thing.”
“I think so,” she said, “but when I was putting the food out I got kinda sick to my stomach.” She stopped when she saw the look on his face. “What?”
“You don’t think you’re . . . ”
Mandy’s jaw dropped. “Oh. I didn’t think about that.”
“Are you l
ate?”
“Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean anything. I’m always late when I’m stressed out and it’s not like there isn’t plenty going on around here to keep me worried.”
“How late?” he persisted.
Mandy counted on her fingers and then looked up, shocked. “Ten days.”
Joe Bob grinned.
“Now you stop that,” she warned. “We can’t be sure.”
“So let’s get sure,” he said. “Take a test. I’ll go into town and get one for you when we get back to the house.”
“No,” Mandy said. “Slow down. I don’t want Sissy and Missy to know. If I am pregnant, we have to tell them at the right time. I’ll get Kate or Jenny to pick a test up for me next week. I can wait until then.”
“Maybe you can wait,” Joe Bob said, “but I can’t. There has to be another way.”
Mandy thought for a minute and then said, “Okay. If I can get a signal up here, I’ll send Dusty a text and ask her to get the kit for me and I’ll take the test tonight after the girls are asleep.”
She took her phone out of her pocket and stared at the screen. “I have one bar. Let me see if I can make this work.” Using her thumbs, she typed, “Dusty, had some nausea this morning. Think I might have a bun in oven. Don’t want the girls to know yet. Can you get me a test kit and slip it to me later at the house?”
A few seconds went by and then Dusty answered. “Exciting! No prob re kit. Am going into town anyway. Will come to house later.”
“Okay,” Mandy said to Joe Bob. “We’re all set. Dusty will come down to the house later. Now, let’s get back to spending the day with the kids we do have, and don’t you be acting like anything’s up, you hear me?”
Joe Bob stood up and put his arms around her. “Can I be a little excited?” he asked.
Mandy smiled, but there was doubt in her eyes. “I want to be excited, too, but I’m scared to be. You know?”
Drawing her into a tight hug, he said, “I know, but try not to be. Remember my official decree. No worry today, about anything. Abide by the law, sugar, or face the consequences.”
The Lockwood Legacy - Books 1-6: Plus Bonus Short Stories Page 86