by T. S. Joyce
And he said it back. “I like your mess just fine, too.”
Chapter Eight
Moore liked touch.
He found ways to touch her, looked for them. They’d talked for hours, and his eyes had stayed bright and engaged, and his hand drifted to her thigh time and time again. He’d touched her neck, her hair. He’d pulled her ankles, dragging her close to him when she was on the other side of the couch. It had become this intoxicating dance that she was growing addicted to.
He was getting her used to him. He was memorizing her skin, and allowing her to memorize his.
She touched him back. Touched his hand, his arm, his knee. His eyes sparked brighter every time she did.
He looked so handsome in the firelight. How late was it? It was deep into the night now, but she didn’t feel tired. Just happy. He’d opened the window, and the breeze was cold, but he was warm. He was wearing a formfitting T-shirt and jeans that clenched tight to his powerful legs. She could see the highlights and shadows that danced across his face, and she noticed everything—the sharp angle of his cheekbones, how his eyebrows moved when he was amused or surprised. The way his dark eyelashes almost touched his cheeks when he looked down. The way he smiled easier now. His perfectly straight, white teeth. His Adam’s apple as it bobbed when he swallowed, and the shape of his lips when he spoke. The curve of his muscular biceps, and the way his eyes stayed locked on hers while she talked, like he was hanging onto every word. There was something so intimidating, but at the same time enjoyable, at having someone see her so completely.
A tension was building up between them, growing and growing until it seemed to take up every molecule in the room. His fingertips found her thigh again, and this time he left them there. He squeezed her leg and she scooted closer.
His chest lifted and fell with his breath, and he stared at his hand on her leg.
Aurora scooted a little closer again, and when he lifted his gaze to her, there was a hungry spark there. A slow, small, wicked smile stretched across his lips.
Okay, she was fully aware they were just supposed to be friends today, but right now she was having a whole lot of feelings for this man, and the biggest one was that she wanted to sit on his lap and wiggle around. Be cool. Be smooth.
“Eh hem,” she cleared her throat, and she stood. His hand slipped off her thigh, and there was a frown furrowing his eyebrows when she turned toward him.
The fire flickered behind her and warmed her back as she peeled her sweater over her head. Please don’t look grossed out, she thought in the moments her sweater was over her face.
When she could see him again, he definitely didn’t look grossed out. Instead, he’d leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, eyes locked on her bra. Black lace today. She’d been wearing her prettiest sets this week.
How did he make her feel so confident with just a look?
Aurora let the sweater slip from her fingers onto the floor. As gracefully as she could, she unbuttoned her jeans and pushed them down her thighs, leaving her black lace panties on. She almost toppled over getting the skinny jeans off her ankles, but that was okay. She wasn’t a magician and this was her first striptease. Plus, Moore looked like he was enjoying the show just fine. He leaned back into the cushion and thrust his hips up just slightly, growing comfortable as he draped his arm over the back of the couch.
He didn’t say anything, which was fine by her, because the man wasn’t telling her to stop. I am a sexy goddess. She pursed her lips against a smile as she turned from side to side, letting him admire the lingerie.
Moore stood suddenly. Too fast, too graceful, too much power in his body to be human. He came to a stop an inch from her face, his body squared up to hers. He trapped her in that predator gaze as he dragged his fingers down her ribs to her hips. He swayed them gently.
Oh goodness, he was in control now—like some snake charmer, and she was the cobra. He slipped his hand to her throat and pulled her closer, kissed her. His tongue pushed past her lips, and his hand stayed gentle and sexy right there on her neck. Dominant boy was asking her to trust him. Mmmm, she really liked this.
He swayed them still, ending the kiss with a soft bite to her bottom lip. He released her and peeled his shirt over his head, pulled her hands against his chest and let off a soft gasp as she ran her hands down his body. Down, down, over his flexed abs to his jeans. She didn’t unfasten the button right away though. This was too much fun, exploring his body without that obnoxious shocking pain. She hooked her fingers in the hem of his jeans, and inhaled sharply as she brushed the head of his swollen cock. She ran her hand down the outside of his jeans, down the length of his shaft and cupped between his legs.
“Mmmmm,” he moaned in a deep, growling timbre.
God, she loved the snarl in his voice. Moore was dangerous to others, but not to her. She did trust him.
She pulled her hands back to the button of his jeans and unfastened them, unzipped, and then smiled up at him as she pushed them slowly down his thighs.
His smirk was so damn sexy.
He reached around her and undid her bra, tossed it on top of her sweater, and then reached down the front of her panties smoothly.
A gasp escaped her as his fingers slid between her wet folds. A growl rattled his chest, but it wasn’t an angry sound. It was almost like a purr. Sexy, sexy man. She gripped his hand and pressed it more firmly between her legs.
And right when his lips met hers, Moore pushed his finger inside. She moaned into his mouth, and he stroked her. Fast in, slow out. Fast in…slow out. Beautiful torture.
Aurora cupped her hands around his hard shaft and stroked slowly down him. “Fffffuck,” he gritted out.
Oooh, he was sensitive to her touch. God, she loved this.
“You’re getting so wet,” he murmured against her lips.
“Mmm hmmm.”
“You want more?” he asked, his nipping kiss dipping to her neck.
“Mmm hmmm.” She slipped her hand around his throat now and eased him back. “I. Want. Moore.”
The feral look in his eyes was so damn hot. Moore leaned in slightly and swept her knees. She yelped as she fell backward, but he caught her inches from the rug in front of the hearth. His muscular, scarred body was a sight to see in the glowing light of the fire as he settled between her legs. He kissed down to her breasts, sucked on her nipples, and silenced her mind completely. The only thing that mattered right now was Moore. Her body was on fire for him. It burned for him to be inside of her, but he wasn’t rushing. He was enjoying her skin. She gripped his hair and led him to her other nipple, arched her back when he drew it into his mouth and sucked hard. His hands were everywhere, claiming every inch of skin she possessed.
She didn’t belong to her anymore. She belonged to him.
He leaned back and oh dear goodness, his abs. And his arms and his pecs and his powerful splayed thighs as he rested in the apex between her legs. He ripped her panties off and held them up. “These are mine now. These stay here.”
“A trophy?” she asked.
He leaned into her slowly and murmured against her throat, “I’m going to collect so many from you.”
Hot. Hot. Super duper freaking on fire hot. He could have her whole panty drawer. His biting kiss worked against her throat and she arched back, her nails digging slightly into his scarred back.
Reaching between her legs, Moore felt her wetness again, and she thought he would slide his finger in again, but he grabbed her hips and slid his hard, thick cock into her instead. And she. Was. Gone.
Nothing else existed except for the ecstasy he caused inside of her. In fast, out slow. In fast, out slow, and she could feel the power of his body against hers as he stroked into her. It felt so good. Felt so good so fast and she was getting close. She had no idea what noises were coming from her, and she didn’t care. His snarling set her body on fire all over again.
Their bodies knew each other. Their rhythm was so natural, and felt perfect. The way their hi
ps moved together, the way their hands found the perfect pressure points, the way their voices sounded together…she’d never experience anything this consuming.
She was there. There. God, she was there! “Fuck…me,” she gasped out as her body erupted around him.
With a growl, he slammed into her harder, his hand on the back of her neck, holding her steady as he slammed into her. She cried out over and over. Moore bucked into her hard, hesitated, and yelled out as his dick pulsed. Warmth filled her from the inside out as he moved, emptying himself completely.
He drew it out, too. He depleted them both, dragging out every pulse of pleasure until she was drained and sated.
Moore stayed inside of her after that. He kissed her lips, her throat, her cheeks, her lips again. His touch explored her every curve. There were no words here. Only the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the drum of her heartbeat, and the soft growl in Moore’s throat that said he was happy. She could tell. When he’d kissed and touched and lulled her into a drowsy, relaxed puddle on the floor, he sat up and pulled her onto his lap and he just held her. No, not held her…clung to her. He wrapped his entire body around her and just existed like that, strong while she was tired.
She’d never felt safer than right now, with him.
She didn’t know why they didn’t hurt each other with their touch anymore, but she was glad for it.
Tonight had changed everything.
Chapter Nine
He shouldn’t be here.
Moore shifted his weight to his other leg as he knelt in the snow just on the edge of the woods surrounding Aux’s house. Brick and his mate were here, too. He could hear them laughing inside.
Why did that make him feel empty? He growled. It was stupid to feel left out. He and his brothers had never been close. They weren’t raised to be. They were being weird. Not him. He was normal. He was supposed to keep his distance.
Moore fingered the journal. He’d had it for a week, and read it cover to cover three times. The other two journals in the box were about crow history, and he didn’t give a shit about that. He only cared about this journal—his mother’s.
He’d seen Aurora every day, and she kept his head busy, but at nights, he thought about ‘the before’. That’s what he called his life before Aurora. There were so many unanswered questions still, and he had this hunger now to figure out what his life meant. What his existence meant. Would Brick and Aux still hate their parents as much if they read this journal? Or would they question everything they’d thought they’d known, like he was? Would it make a difference? Would they be as confused as he was?
Maybe bear shifters really were supposed to die off…
But…
He liked the way he felt with Aurora. She made him feel important.
And…
His brothers were laughing. Laughing. Genuinely.
Mates gave great power. He could feel it in him. Something about Aurora had changed and now he was connected to her in a way he couldn’t explain.
Even tonight, while she had a late meeting with a client, he wanted to be with her. To keep her safe, sure, but also he hated missing any of her smiles.
Sometimes he felt like he didn’t understand himself anymore, and then sometimes he thought he was finally, finally learning who he was. It was up and down, a rollercoaster that didn’t end, but Aurora said the bumps would get smoother until one day, they flattened out, and he would feel steady.
He hoped so.
Caw, caw, caw.
The laughter inside stopped, and the sound of a chair scooting across the floor filled the air.
Krome was sitting in a tree across the yard. Krome and some of his Crow Blooded. Four, at least.
Moore used to hate everything and everyone, but now? He only hated the crows.
The front door opened and Aux and Brick stepped out onto the porch. Brick sniffed the air.
“Moore?” he asked.
“I found something you might want to read,” Moore said, standing.
Brick was looking toward the west, and startled when Moore moved. Inside, he chuckled. He’d done that on purpose. Circled that way first and used the wind direction to hide his scent over here. He was a very good hunter.
“What is it?” Brick asked.
Moore strode across the yard.
“That’s close enough!” Aux barked out.
Moore came to a halt right in the middle of the yard, on the edge of the halo of gold porch light.
Moore growled. He wanted to throttle his brothers for thinking they could tell him anything. Fuck this. Fuck trying to give them any answers. He would just keep them to himself. He would do everything himself.
Moore turned and strode for the woods.
“Wait!” Brick was following him. “Moore, wait!”
“Don’t be stupid, Brick!” Aux yelled. “He’s luring you into the woods!”
“Fuck off,” he yelled at both of them, rounding on Brick. “If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead.”
Brick jogged to a stop five yards away. “You can’t kill us anymore, Moore. We have a mate-bond. Remember?”
“Yeah, so do I.”
“What?” Aux asked, jogging down a few steps on the porch. “You bonded to the girl?”
Moore’s chest was on fire with the urge to fight both of them. Their mates came out onto the porch quietly with the little Crow Blooded boy Brick was helping to raise. Everyone was staring at him and he hated it. He wished Aurora was here to say something funny and get all the attention off him.
“I was supposed to kill you,” he gritted out.
“And you failed.”
“And I’ve questioned everything. Everything.”
“Since you met Aurora?” Trinity asked from the porch.
“No.” Fuck, his mind was reeling. He shook his head and tried to focus. “Since I killed our parents. I’ve questioned everything because it made me feel…it made me feel…”
“You had to do it,” Aux said, closing in a few steps. “There is no point in holding onto that guilt. You had to kill them.”
“I know. But it doesn’t change the way it…” Moore gripped his sweater and pulled it away from his skin. His clothes were too tight. “It doesn’t change the way it feels.”
Brick and Aux just stared at him, their faces completely blank.
“Sometimes I wish it was you who did it, or you.” He pointed at his brothers one by one. “Sometimes it felt not fair. And sometimes I didn’t understand.” Moore tossed the journal at Brick’s feet.
His brother knelt slowly and picked it up, flipped to the first page. His shocked gaze darted up to Moore. “This was mom’s.”
Moore swallowed a lump in his throat, and nodded. “Things weren’t like I thought.”
Brick stood. “Do you still want to kill us?”
Moore considered it carefully before he answered. “No. I think my number of kills has to stay at two.”
“Or what?” Aux asked.
“Or I’ll turn into our father, and no one will be safe, and I’ll hurt everyone that I don’t want to hurt.” Aurora. He didn’t want to disappoint Aurora.
“Where’s your mate?” Brick asked softly.
“In town, working. I have to make myself give her space when she’s working.”
He smiled. His brother smiled. At him. “It sucks, doesn’t it?”
“What?” Moore asked, confused.
“Pretending to not be obsessed with them,” Aux answered.
Moore gave a tired huff of breath. “I’m trying not to scare her off.”
“Oh, you won’t scare her off,” Trinity called. “She’s a stage five clinger. She’s texted me like thirty-seven times today talking about you. All nice stuff. Whatever you’re doing, she likes it. Just…keep going.”
“I don’t want to be the bullet anymore,” Moore said fast, before he could change his mind.
“What do you mean?”
“I want a bigger purpose than to kill off our line. I know
that was supposed to be my fate, or whatever. But I don’t want it. I don’t want dad’s crow-kill picture to be mine, while you get happy pictures. I don’t want to be our dad. I don’t want to lose control of my animal. I don’t want to talk to the crows. I don’t want to feel wrong for existing. I just…I want to be me. I don’t want everyone else’s shit on me. You understand? I just want my own.”
“I couldn’t have done it,” Aux said softly. He ran his hand down his beard, and his voice sounded all hoarse when he spoke again. “I wouldn’t have been strong enough to kill them, and it would’ve cost so many more lives. I never thought about the toll it must’ve taken. You always just seemed to strong with it. Like you didn’t feel any of the bad. The things we saw when we were kids…you just seemed unaffected.”
Moore shrugged one shoulder up. “I’m not built like you two, but I was affected.”
“Aurora is headed here now,” Trinity said, staring at her glowing phone screen. “You two are staying for dinner.”
“Good, I want to meet the girl who tamed the Big-Bad-Moore,” Aux’s mate said, bustling the crow-boy inside.
“Wait, what?” Brick asked at Trinity’s disappearing back. “You’re inviting Moore inside?”
“I’m not a fuckin’ vampire, you dipshit,” Moore muttered as he tromped past him. “I could’ve come into your dumb dens whenever I wanted to.”
One of them snorted behind him—probably Aux, since Brick was probably just staring at the back of his head, too dumb to come up with a retort. They might be softer, and have less kills than him, and have found their mates faster, but they were both still dumber than Moore, and nothing would ever change his mind.
This dinner was going to suck and require him to converse with people other than Aurora, but if she was messaging Trinity that she wanted to eat here, then okay. He wanted to make her happy.
Yep, that was the only reason he was willingly going inside with his brothers into the same room for the first time since they were kids.
For Aurora. Not because he wanted to get to know his brothers, or their mates, or the kid staring at him from where he drew a picture of…what was that…Moore squinted. A squid?