“And so says the man who has everything.” Holly couldn’t stop the bitter words from escaping her mouth and desperately wished them unsaid when she saw his face. His eyes glittered darkly and his lips settled in a straight line.
“Not everything, Holly. Some things you can’t buy.”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” “Come on, it’s getting late and you look like you’ve done about ten rounds in the boxing ring. I’ll take you home.”
Six
Connor stared out the window of his penthouse apartment, watching as the world hurtled by regardless of the late hour. Try as he might, he couldn’t get Holly out of his mind. What was it with him and women that it always came down to money? She’d made no bones about how important money was to her, yet, if that was the case, why did she live where and how she did? She was a conundrum. One he had every intention of figuring out even though logic told him he should just forget their night together, as she had so conveniently managed to do.
Logic could take a hike.
He turned from the window and flipped open his cell. One press of a quick-dial would take him a step closer to the answers he needed.
The summarised report, when it came through to his private fax line in the morning, did little to calm his disquiet. It was clear Holly had major financial issues, not least of which were large sums of money being paid out on a very regular basis—most of her wages in fact. No wonder she lived in such squalid conditions. Something, or someone, drained every dollar she earned. The only savings account she’d had was well in the past, and it had been cleared out completely several months ago. But all the financial information aside, the report did nothing to shed any light on exactly who she was.
The memory of the conversation he’d overhead between Holly and another person yesterday tickled at the back of his mind. She had financial pressure from somewhere, but where? Was it gambling, or worse?
He called his private investigator again.
“I need you to go deeper. Find out who she is, where she’s from. Everything. I don’t care how long it takes.”
Holly let herself into the house and locked the door behind her before making her way to the bathroom. The past week had been interminable. Wearying queasiness still plagued her and kept her from visiting Andrea. While the staff at the hospital understood, it didn’t help assuage the guilt she felt at not being able to be there herself.
To make matters worse, not only had she been sick at work again but this time Janet had seen her and had been full of overwhelming fuss. To gain some respite, Holly had agreed to Janet’s suggestion that she should go home for the day. Connor was tied up in a video conference call when she’d gathered her things and headed for the door. The last thing she’d needed had been his concern, as well.
As she’d searched for change for the bus in the bottom of her bag she’d come across the emergency sanitary items she kept in a small cosmetic purse. Connor’s question from last week rung hollowly in her ears. She’d been adamant at the time that she couldn’t be pregnant, but could she? Really? She couldn’t hide from the possibility any longer.
Holly put the pharmacy packet she’d brought home onto the vanity of her tiny bathroom and removed its contents. The instructions were simple. Too simple really, when it was something so terrifyingly important. She followed the steps to the letter, then paced the tiny confines of room like a caged animal, an analogy that rang a little too close to the truth for her comfort.
She forced herself to calm down, to take stock of the situation. To breathe. And started to pace again. Her mind whirled in ever-diminishing circles—bringing her back to the same conclusion every time.
She couldn’t be pregnant. She just couldn’t. Life couldn’t be so unfair as to twist its jagged blade into her so cruelly. Not with so many questions unanswered and certainly not in her current financial position. Never in her worst nightmares had she ever imagined this happening to her. She’d promised herself never to have a baby until she knew she wouldn’t be bringing ill health and unhappiness to another life and, even then, only if she could provide it with the things she’d never had—a background, the unconditional love of two parents and the financial security to meet all its needs.
The sound of a car pulling up outside her house brought her pacing to an abrupt halt. There was only one person it could be. A bolt of queasiness hurtled from her stomach. She swallowed against it and willed her body back under control.
Footsteps echoed on the path—pounding inexorably closer to her front door. A heavy knock made the flimsy door rattle angrily inside its frame. Holly dragged a steadying breath through tightened lips.
“Holly!” Connor Knight shouted through the glass.
Her legs trembled as she walked down the short narrow hall and cautiously opened the front door the scant few inches the security chain allowed.
“Let me in, Holly.” His voice was liquid velvet, soft and sensual and spoke to her on a physical level that made her heart leap skittishly in her chest, yet despite the virtual stroke against her psyche there was an underlying steel in his tone that demanded he be obeyed.
Holly took a small step back. “No.”
“Open the door.” His voice grew louder.
“You can say what you need to from where you are and leave.”
“Janet said you were sick—again. Don’t think you can fob me off this time, Holly.” He bit the words out, and they ricocheted around the barren front porch.
A young boy riding past on his skateboard, stopped on the sidewalk. “Hey, miss, you wan’ me to go get my uncle? He’ll get rid of the suit for ya!”
Holly recognised the boy from the house a couple of doors away, and she had no doubt that one of his many “uncles” had been members of the throng that had partied hard on Christmas Day.
“Holly?” Connor stared at her through the gap, his brows pulled together in a forbidding line. “Would you like the young man to get his uncle? Go ahead, I’m in the mood.”
She swallowed against the lump in her throat and raised shaking fingers to the door, closing it enough to slide the chain back off then pulling it wide open.
“It’s okay. I know him.” She gave a weak smile over Connor’s broad-suited shoulder and watched as the boy gave a cheeky grin before boarding further down the street. “You’d better come in.” She gestured to Connor to follow her down the narrow hall.
“Thank you.”
Who’d have thought two simple words could have been laced with such fury? For a minute she wondered if she’d done the right thing. Maybe having one of the heavies from up the street “take care of him” for her might not have been such a stupid idea after all. Holly discarded the thought immediately. No. She had to face this, as she’d had to face every crossroads in her life. Somehow, she’d make it.
“Can I get you coffee or tea? I’m sorry I don’t have milk, though.” The fridge had totally given up the ghost during the night, and Holly had tipped out the gelatinous remains of her milk before heading to work in the morning.
“No. I don’t want anything except a few honest answers.”
“I’ve never been anything but honest with you,” Holly retorted, stung at the implication.
He pushed his hands in his pockets and looked around the room. “That’s good. So there’s no need to stop now, is there?”
What on earth was he getting at? Did he know about the pregnancy test? Holly didn’t have to wait long to find out.
“When Janet told me you’d been sick, I thought you might prefer a ride home rather than catch the bus. I sent her after you this afternoon when you left. I was surprised to hear you took a little shopping detour before going to the station.” He removed his hands from his pockets and caught her upper arms, his fingers tightening slightly. “So have you taken the test yet, Holly? Were you going to tell me the result?”
She tried to twist free, but he held her firm. The heat of his fingers imprinted on her skin and, damn it, she couldn’t help but want to feel them tou
ching other parts of her. She was nuts. Only a crazy woman reacted this way with so much at stake.
“I can’t believe you made her spy on me.” She turned her head so he couldn’t see the flare of desire she knew reflected in her face. “Let me go.”
“Tell me.” The demand was no less forceful than the glare in his eyes.
“I don’t know.”
“Which—the result, or if you’d tell me?”
“Neither! Both! I … I don’t know!” Holly wrenched herself loose from his intoxicating hold. “I was taking the test when you arrived.”
“Where is it?” He demanded.
“On the bathroom vanity,” Holly replied in a tiny voice, frozen to the spot, as he strode past her, headed straight for the bathroom.
His footsteps halted in the bathroom, and her stomach clenched as she waited. A sound, like a muffled groan, filtered through the hallway, then silence. Eventually she heard the pipes clank in protest and water run in the basin. One look at his face and his slightly reddened eyes when he returned, and Holly’s world tilted sharply. Disoriented, she grabbed the back of one of the tubular steel chairs Connor had eschewed so disdainfully during his last visit.
“No!” The wail broke from her throat. “Tell me it isn’t true!”
Cold fury glistened in his eyes. “Oh, it’s true all right. You’re pregnant with my child.”
Another wave of nausea, more persistent than before, rose with a surge of determination she couldn’t disregard.
“Oh, God!” With her hand clamped to her mouth, Holly made short work of the distance to her bathroom.
Spent with exhaustion a few minutes later, she dimly became aware of Connor’s presence behind her, of his strong, warm hand gently stroking her back. Tremors of shock rippled through her as she leaned weakly against the porcelain, the hard floor pressing against her knees.
“You all done?” He sounded distant, emotionally removed. “I think so.”
“Then wash your face and come with me.” “Come with you?” Holly was confused. “Back to work?” Connor offered his hand and helped her to her feet, a line of tension between his brows as he turned the taps on at the stained basin. Holly grabbed a flannel and dashed it under the trickle, scrubbing at her face before scooping up some water with her hand to rinse her mouth. Connor handed her a towel and stood silent as a statue while she mopped her face dry. “No. To a doctor.”
Seven
“She’s pregnant, early days, but definite.”
Connor looked up at the softly spoken words as the doctor, one of his female cousins, closed the door to her examination room behind her allowing Holly some privacy to get dressed.
“Hell.” Connor stopped his pacing and dropped into the seat across from Carmen’s desk.
“She’s the one you brought to Christmas brunch, isn’t she?”
Connor nodded.
“I thought Uncle Tony had strict rules about office romance.”
“It was an aberration.”
“Unprotected sex is some aberration.”
“She assured me she was okay.” Connor couldn’t meet her gaze, or read the reproach he knew would be there.
“Well, looks like you have some rethinking to do, cuz.”
“Yeah.” More than Carmen could ever realise. Connor flung a look at the still-closed door. “Will she be okay?”
“Once she starts to eat properly and gets plenty of rest. I’ll give you a list of supplements to help build her strength up. She hasn’t been looking after herself that well. If you two are going to have a healthy baby, that has to change.”
A healthy baby. Connor’s head spun. He was going to be a father! Moisture sprang to his eyes. He blinked it away as emotion cascaded through him, tightening his chest and setting a fire of hope burning low in his gut.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she takes care of herself.”
Holly remained on the examining table, the doctor’s parting words still ringing in her ears. “No doubt you and Connor will need to talk.”
Holly couldn’t even acknowledge her. Her hand slid to her lower belly and pressed against the flat surface. Disbelief raged through her mind. Pregnant.
In all her worst nightmares she’d never imagined this could happen. Not to her. Never to her. She’d always been so careful never to let anyone close enough. The one time in her life she’d let go of reason and given in to impulse, to admit to the need for another—a need she’d guarded against for so long—and fate threw this savage twist at her.
Holly shuddered. She couldn’t afford to bring up a child. She could barely afford to support Andrea, let alone herself. The financial demands of a baby didn’t bear thinking about. She drew her knees up and curled into a protective ball. What the hell was she going to do?
Holly’s heart twisted sharply in her chest. If she’d had the luxury of normal circumstances, the news would have sent the blood in her veins singing with joy to know she carried Connor’s child, yet the fearful weight of responsibility paralysed her. What if there was something wrong? She couldn’t bear to watch another person she loved die a slow and painful death.
Her breath caught in her throat. Love? She couldn’t love the baby already. It was far too soon. In fact, never would be too soon. Holly pulled down the shutters on her emotions. She couldn’t afford to feel anything for this new life growing inside her. Not when there was so much at stake.
Slowly she uncurled and pushed away the sheet the doctor had draped over her for privacy. Privacy—the term was completely incongruous after an internal examination.
The muted murmur of voices filtered through the door. She had to get moving. She didn’t put it past Connor to be making plans with the doctor. Plans she should be making.
At least this meant she wouldn’t have to restrict her visits to Andrea because of her assumed stomach flu. The weighty responsibility of another life rocked her again. What on earth was she going to do?
The door across the room opened.
“You okay?” Connor asked, his lips a grim line, and expectation shining in his eyes she couldn’t quite identify.
The strangled sound that dragged itself from her throat could have passed for a laugh any other day of the week but failed miserably right now. “Okay? No. I’m not okay. I couldn’t be worse.” She couldn’t hold back the bitterness from her words, nor did she want to. She wanted to run from the room, from Connor. From the truth.
Connor’s face hardened, his eyes darkening to blackest granite. “Come through. We need to talk about your care.”
“Care? What’s that got to do with you?”
“Everything,” he challenged, his voice no more than a growl.
Connor held the door open wider, and Holly swept through, driven by helpless anger. How dare he think he could discuss her care with a stranger? She’d had enough of that in her lifetime—of other people making all her decisions. She wasn’t a child any longer, she was an adult. A strong and capable woman, with responsibilities. A woman who didn’t need anyone else.
The doctor sat at her desk, eyeing Holly carefully, as if weighing her words before speaking.
Biting the inside of her lip, Holly sat on the chair Connor indicated, sweeping her legs away to one side when he sat in the seat beside her.
“According to Carmen you need supplements to rebuild your strength, and you need more rest, too. Whatever you’ve been doing to drive yourself to this state, it has to stop.”
“Stop? You can’t dictate to me.”
“Watch me.”
“You have no right. This is my body. My choice. I don’t want to bring another unwanted child into this world.” Holly felt Connor’s body go rigid beside her.
Carmen looked up, a startled look on her face and a hint of censure in her eyes.
His tone was unmistakably feral. “If you think this baby is unwanted, you’re wrong. Completely and utterly wrong.” Connor rose to his feet. “I’m sorry, Carmen, but Holly and I have some matters to discuss—private
ly.”
“Sure, I understand.” Carmen gave him a worried smile before looking at Holly. “Don’t rush into any decisions. Obviously the news has come as a bit of a shock—for you both. Connor, I think you have all you need from me today.”
“Thanks, Carmen. Yes. I’ll call the specialist in the morning.”
“Specialist? I can’t afford a specialist.” Holly wanted to scream—anything to make them pay attention to her. Didn’t her opinion matter at all? Her entire childhood people had talked around her as if she didn’t exist and, when they couldn’t ignore her, as if she didn’t matter. She’d fought hard for control of her life—she wasn’t about to give that up now.
Connor’s strong hand caught at her elbow, urging her from her seat and propelling her towards the door. In his car, Holly sat glowering mutinously out the front window. Instead of starting up the engine, Connor gripped the leather-wrapped steering wheel and turned to her. But for the whitening of his knuckles she would probably never have realised how angry he was. Now tension undulated from his body in waves.
“I’m going to make this perfectly clear right here and right now. You’re not handling this by yourself, understood?”
Holly faced him, the burning determination in his eyes making her mouth dry and the words she’d been about to utter in denial fade into obscurity.
“Holly?” He ground out her name as if holding himself in check.
She wasn’t going to win this war. Not today. She gave a curt nod. “All right. I understand you.”
“Good.” Without another word, Connor twisted the key in the ignition and fired the BMW to throbbing life.
She didn’t pay a lot of attention to the route he’d chosen to take her back to her house, until she had to flip the sun visor down to block the late-afternoon sun now shining in her face. If they were heading to her place, the sun would be at their backs, not blinding them as it was now.
“This isn’t the way to my place. Why aren’t you taking me home?” She demanded.
“I am.” Connor’s hands tightened on the steering wheel.
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