by Harper Bliss
“Why? Isn’t that obvious? You put the president in danger.”
“Oh really? Well, good thing she has you to save her from the great danger I represent.” Aurore couldn’t help the snark.
Solange shook her head. Aurore regrouped. It was difficult to keep herself in check in Solange’s presence. The woman’s icy attitude got under her skin. Time to douse her with some warmth again and see where that got her. “Up until things went a little awry, I really enjoyed getting to know you better the other night,” she said.
Solange squinted, as though she had to parse the words Aurore had just spoken.
“Despite your obvious desire for me not to be there,” Aurore continued.
“I know I went a little too far. Stéphanie and I… we’re like chalk and cheese and let’s just say she knows how to push my buttons. But she has apologised and we’ve moved on.”
What world did Solange live in? Did she really believe Steph’s apology held up after Solange had shown Dominique that video?
“The animosity in the air was quite palpable.”
“I assume I’m not here to talk about Stéphanie.” Solange reached for her cup and took a sip. She held it near her face as though wanting to hide behind it.
“Not directly, no. I have asked you here to talk about me.” Aurore ventured a smile.
Solange gave a tiny hint of smile back—a least that was what Aurore thought she saw appear behind the cup.
“I will keep my distance from the Elysée and from Steph. At least I assume that’s what the president wants. But I need your word that you’ll never use this video of me against my candidate, because it has nothing whatsoever to do with her.”
“Oh, so she is your candidate now. I thought you said you were only her non-political advisor.”
“Things have taken a turn.”
“Can you look me in the eye and promise me you’re not plotting anything against the president?”
“How do you mean? What would I be plotting?”
“You turn up out of nowhere just as this bill on donor sperm gets proposed. A few days later the president finds herself having dinner with a former porn star. That’s a bit too much of a coincidence for my liking.”
Aurore chuckled. “For the record, I’m hardly a porn star. Did you watch that video? I mean, back then I liked to believe I knew what I was doing, but I had a lot to learn.”
Solange did manage more than just a hint of smile now.
“A career in adult entertainment was never really what I was after, although I was very happy to help out a friend and make a movie that was a bit more, let’s say, female friendly.” She tilted her head and even managed to hold Solange’s gaze for a few seconds. “I met Steph through mutual friends. I have no ulterior motives. Unlike you, I like her.”
“What about the Rivière bill? What are your motives with that?”
“My motives?” Aurore clasped a hand to her chest. “I simply want same-sex couples to be able to get inseminated in their own country without having to go through the administrative, financial, and emotional hassle of doing it outside France. Very simply put: I want for everyone to be equal. Hand on my heart, that is truly all I want.”
“Do you have children?” Solange asked, catching Aurore off guard.
“No.”
“The place kind of looks as though you would have grandchildren. Although upon closer look, it doesn’t really appear to be child-proofed at all. My bad.”
Aurore pulled her lips into a grin. She thought it best to let the comment pass. “How about you?”
“You might have noticed I’m pretty much married to my job. I have no time for a partner, let alone children.”
“You weren’t always chief of staff.”
“Indeed, but it takes a lot of work, time and effort to become chief of staff.”
“I can imagine.” Aurore exhaled. She was starting to get the impression Solange wouldn’t mind staying a bit longer. The woman probably didn’t have many semi-personal conversations. “I too researched you. However, unlike what you found out about me—all of me on display for all the world to see—I didn’t find a single thing about your personal life, which leads me to believe you must not have one.”
Aurore watched the blush that had crept up Solange’s neck since Aurore had mentioned the video. Solange might sit there solemnly claiming she didn’t watch the video at all, but Aurore didn’t believe a word of that.
“Ah, so you did do your research on me.”
“You’re an intriguing woman. I wanted to know more.”
The blush on Solange’s neck seemed to intensify. She drank from her tea.
“Personal relationships have never come first in my life. I was always too ambitious, too… something for most. I’ve had… liaisons, of course. But I’m always discreet.”
“You never get lonely?”
Solange shrugged. “What is loneliness, really? It’s a weakness I don’t allow myself.”
“You look as though you don’t afford yourself many weaknesses.”
“To be where I am at my age, I’ve made some enemies over the years. I can’t afford to have many weaknesses. I wouldn’t be able to serve the president if I had.”
“It’s all about Dominique Laroche for you. Your entire life revolves around her.” No wonder you despise Steph so much.
“For now, yes.”
“Do you have political ambitions yourself?”
“God no. I do my best work behind the scenes. I learned from a young age it’s best to leave the spotlight to people like Dominique.”
“So what’s the end goal for Solange Garceau?”
“My number one goal is to get Dominique re-elected. Your candidate may try to stop me—us—but I will do whatever it takes.”
“Does that include incriminating Anne Rivière with a damaging video of one of her advisors?”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” Solange fixed her gaze on Aurore’s. “I promise you.”
Aurore only had her gut instinct to go on. It wasn’t giving her much information on whether Solange Garceau was trustworthy. “I appreciate that.”
Solange finally put her cup down.
“Do you want some more tea?” Aurore asked.
Solange glanced at her cup, then at her watch. “You did say it would help me sleep. I can use all the help I can get.”
Aurore poured more tea. Step two was in the bag. Solange had already stayed much longer than she had ever expected. And Aurore hadn’t lied when she’d said she was an intriguing character. It also seemed she was someone who didn’t mind spending some more time with Aurore.
“What do you do to relax?” Aurore asked, genuinely worried.
“Please don’t you start as well. Domin—I mean, the president—was on my case about not taking enough time to relax. I have a treadmill at home. I run. I let my mind wander. And I watch that TV show about cats before I go to sleep.” She reached for her cup. “Now I’m also drinking camomile tea.” She shot Aurore an unexpected wink over the rim of the cup. “There’s really nothing to worry about.” After she swallowed, she said, “You seem pretty busy yourself. What do you do to unwind?”
A smile formed on Aurore’s lips. She might not have melted Solange just yet, but she had cracked the icy surface a little. “I see friends. I go to the movies and exhibitions and the opera. I listen to music. I go for long walks in the woods around the corner.”
“Ah yes, the Bois de Boulogne. That has a certain reputation.”
“In case you’re wondering, I don’t partake in what goes on in the woods at night. For all my talk about sex on the radio, I don’t have nearly enough of it myself.” Oh shoot. This was something Aurore would easily exclaim to a friend like Camille, but not to the chief of staff of the president who had come to her home to negotiate terms on a possibly embarrassing video.
Solange stiffened in her chair. It was only now that she had her guard fully up again that Aurore could see how relaxed her body language ha
d previously become.
“I’m very sorry to hear that.” The snippiness hadn’t taken over her tone completely yet, but it was skirting the edges. “I should go. I have some things to do.”
“Not after having had that tea,” Aurore said. “If you take a hot bath when you get home, you’ll be fast asleep half an hour later.”
Solange rose and put on her coat.
“Thank you for coming by. We should, um, have another informal meeting soon, to discuss that bill.”
Solange turned around and looked Aurore squarely in the eye. “We should,” she said.
Dominique
“Where’s Steph?” Didier asked.
“She promised she’d be here,” Lisa said.
“If she promised, then she’ll be here soon,” Dominique said, even though she wasn’t so sure Steph would, indeed, show up. Then again, she wouldn’t break a promise to the children. She might be thunderously mad at Dominique, but she wouldn’t let Didier and Lisa be the victim of that.
“Are you having a fight?” Didier asked.
Dominique chuckled. “What?” They were growing up so quickly, nothing got past them. “No, honey. What makes you think that?”
“Yesterday, daddy and Angelique were fighting,” Lisa said. “If you and Steph are fighting as well, then maybe that means you and daddy should be back together, because you no longer fight with each other.”
“Grown-ups fight once in a while, just like you two get into fights. Then you make up. And you all still love each other the same after.”
“That’s not true,” Didier said. “Once you and daddy started fighting, you didn’t love each other anymore.”
“Some fights can’t be resolved. That’s true.” Dominique wondered whether her heaviness of spirit was weighing on her children, whether they could sense it. She could sure do with Steph arriving home right about now. She always knew how to put a smile on their faces—and to distract them from whatever was bothering their mother at the time.
“Can we play on the PlayStation even though Steph’s not here yet?” Lisa asked.
“Of course.” Dominique didn’t have it in her to say no or to set the time limit she usually did when it came to video games.
“Sweet.” Didier opened some drawers, unearthed all the necessary equipment, and less than a minute later they both sat glued to the screen.
She looked at her children and wondered what her life would have been without them. It was unimaginable. She would need to take a stand on the Rivière bill soon. It was a no-brainer, really, but sometimes Dominique felt as though she led the wrong party—even more so since she had met Steph.
First thing tomorrow, she would ask Solange to draw up a statement—and she would call a meeting with the MLR leadership. Being president made her party leader, but it wasn’t as straightforward as that. Dissidents were always waiting in the wings.
“Sorry I’m late, little monsters,” Steph dashed into the room. “But I’m ready for cuddles now.”
Lisa and Didier hesitated for a split second, then threw their controllers to the floor and jumped onto Steph. The sight brought a wide smile to Dominique’s face. At least things were hunky-dory between Steph and her children. Didier and Lisa adored her partner, and she adored them right back. Why couldn’t all love be as simple as that? She adored Steph—and she assumed Steph still adored her. Maybe the issue lay with her having to assume it. Was she no longer sure of Steph’s love for her? After all Steph had done for her, the sacrifices she had made? Of course Steph still loved her, but maybe she didn’t like her as much anymore. Maybe Dominique, as president, had made too many concessions to her party. Maybe befriending a full-blood socialist like Aurore Seauve had made Steph remember her old political ideals—the ones that resonated most with her true self.
“I’ll play with you in a second,” Steph said as she wrestled herself free from their hugs. “I’m just going to say hello to your mum first.”
Lisa and Didier went back to their game and Steph plonked down next to her.
“Hey.” She kissed Dominique on the cheek, but it was a performance kiss so as not alarm the kids. “How are they?”
“They missed you,” Dominique whispered, and she might as well have said I instead of they.
After Didier and Lisa had been picked up by their father to go back to the house where they lived while their mother was president, Dominique didn’t feel like going straight back to work.
“Where are you going?” she asked when Steph was about to leave the room.
“Out,” Steph said.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in days.”
“That’s because you haven’t.” Steph leaned her hip against the edge of the sofa. “I haven’t been in much of a mood to see you.”
“Can we talk about that perhaps?”
“I don’t know. Can we? Do you have the time? I checked your schedule and it didn’t say you were free after the children’s visit so…”
“They asked if we were fighting.”
That got Steph’s attention. “Really?”
“Are we?”
“Not fighting as such… more like sulking,” Steph said.
“Look, babe, my hands are pretty much tied here. What do you want me to do?”
Steph sighed. “I want you to make me feel like I matter to you. I know you think that asking me to marry you every other week is what it takes, but it’s not. On the contrary. It makes me feel like you want to own me even more. Already, I don’t seem to have much of my old self left.”
“Oh, babe.” Steph’s harsh words were a shock to Dominique’s system.
“You let Solange undermine me every chance she gets. You made me apologise to her and then she pulled that stunt with the video. But that’s just the small stuff. Things I would be able to shrug off easily, if everything was right between us. But it’s not. We haven’t even properly talked about the Rivière bill yet, which is something that is important to me.”
“Shall we sit?” Dominique needed a time-out. She hadn’t expected all of this.
Steph sat on the carpet near the door.
“I’m going to talk to the leadership tomorrow. I’ll make a statement.”
“I don’t care about the leadership. I need to know what you think. Before they try and sway you.”
“You know what I think. I want this bill to pass.”
“Then make it happen. You’re the president, for crying out loud. You won the presidency because you stood for equality. Time to put your money where your mouth is.”
“I will.” It was Dominique’s every intention to make it happen, but she had no choice but to play the game of politics. Besides, this conversation wasn’t really about the bill, it was about the differences between her and Steph that seemed to have grown exponentially over the past few weeks—or had perhaps been better highlighted by the turn of events. “I promise you that, one way or another, I’ll make it happen.” Dominique rose from her chair and sat next to Steph on the floor. “Now tell me about you. What can I do to make you feel better?”
Steph sighed. “There’s just no getting away from any of this for me. Even at work I don’t feel like the person I used to be, because everyone sees me differently. I just really need a break.”
Dominique brought a hand to Steph’s neck. “Do you want to go to the house in Juan-les-Pins?”
Steph shook her head. “That’s not the kind of break I mean.”
Something tightened in Dominique’s stomach. “Then what do you mean?” Her fingers kneaded Steph’s shoulders. She needed to keep contact somehow.
“Tell me honestly. If you had to choose between Solange and me, if it came to that, who would you choose?”
Dominique scoffed. “What kind of a question is that?”
“A very simple one.”
“A very manipulative one, if you ask me. You both represent very different things to me, Stéphanie. You are my life partner. When I ask you to marry me, it’s not out of guilt or out of
some desire to ‘own more of you’, it’s because I love you. Because you are the most wonderfully complex person I’ve ever met. Because from the moment I met you, I knew. I was lost and I knew I would be until we were together. It’s because we belong together. However mismatched anyone else might find us, I know in my heart we belong together. I’ve known it since you first came to my office. I knew it when we decided we could never be together. And I still know it now.” Dominique slipped her fingers underneath the collar of Steph’s shirt and dug her fingertips into her flesh. “I like to think you know it too.”
“See.” Steph shrugged free of her touch. “This is what you’re good at. This is why you’re president. You give excellent speeches with a flair for drama and plenty of emotion in your voice, but what does it all really stand for? What does it change for me that you say these things? You’re the kind of person who can deliver an impassioned speech at the drop of a hat.”
Dominique shuffled backwards a bit. As she sat there on the floor, she felt the distance between them increase. Because Steph was right. Dominique could say all the words she wanted, if Steph didn’t feel them, didn’t connect with them any longer, then how could she possibly make her believe in them again?
“I mean every word I say,” Dominique said.
“Oh, I have no doubt about that. I know that you love me. Love is not the issue here. I just wish you could see that.”
“Then what is the issue? Support?”
Steph looked at her, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. “I’ve been single most of my adult life and in all that time, I’ve never felt lonelier than I do here in my gilded cage. I can’t go anywhere without taking some secret service guys with me. I can’t go to a restaurant without a couple of paps wanting to snap a picture of my face. All things I could live with when I felt you were on my side. But these days, it feels like I’ve given up my freedom, which I’ve always valued above everything else, for nothing.”