by Chandra Ryan
The feel of a nozzle being placed in his hands shook him out of his stunned paralysis. “A fine mist over his body should freeze the spiders. It’ll damage his skin and hurt like hell so be prepared. He’s not going to like it but he heals quickly and this is the only shot we’ve got of killing the bugs.” With that, Homer grabbed his own canister of nitrogen and then began to spray the liquid on Langster’s back.
Bile rose in the back of Gates’ throat as Langster’s shrieks of agony quieted to mews of pain before silencing altogether. By the time Homer had killed all the spiders crawling over his body, Langster was unconscious on the jungle floor. Gates counted at least eight pockets of spiders that still remained embedded in his skin. And who knew how many were on the man’s legs?
Gates had lost his battle against his tears some time ago. He’d shed so many of them that his sleeve was already wet from repeatedly brushing them aside as he worked. But now he was close to losing his fight against the need to vomit. He turned around to find every member of his squadron staring at him. Pain and abject horror were easily identifiable in their expressions. “I couldn’t… I don’t…” He had to pull it together and be the leader his men needed. But he didn’t remember how. His mind had become an endless loop of agony.
“He’s not going to make it, Commander.”
Gates whipped around to face Homer as everything came back into focus. “No. He has to make it.” After everything they’d subjected him to, Langster had to survive.
“His muscles are starting to spasm and become rigid. My best guess is the spiders had some sort of paralyzing toxin in their bite.”
“He’s modified, god damn it. He’ll heal.” Gates’ heart raced with fear and anger as he spoke.
“Not from this. There were too many of them.” Homer put his fingers back on Langster’s neck to check his pulse. “Their poison is overwhelming him. It’s only a matter of time before the toxin makes its way to his heart.”
Langster moaned as his body convulsed. When he’d stilled again he opened his eyes and looked up at Gates. “Please, Commander. End it.”
“No.” He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
“Hurts so bad.” A single tear slid from his eye down his cheek. “I can feel them moving. Crawling just beneath the skin, looking for a way out.”
Sorrow and guilt swept through him and cooled his anger. His man was hurt. And he wouldn’t recover. Gates couldn’t possibly do what needed to be done but he couldn’t pass the job off to anyone else.
Gates took a deep breath as he pulled his weapon out of its holster. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s in the job description.” Langster smiled softly. “Make it a clean shot.”
Gates waited for Homer to take a step back and then pulled the trigger. Langster’s body jerked one last time and then remained still. The medic knelt down next to him and checked for a pulse but then backed up again.
“He’s gone.” Homer stood and crossed the clearing to retrieve the blanket so he could wrap Langster’s body in it. “He’ll need to be burned. We can’t risk having the other spiders hatch.” Homer took a step closer toward Gates before adding, “And we need to talk about what we’re going to do about the two other infected men.”
Gates glanced up, his gaze catching the two men Homer was talking about. They were both staring at Langster’s body in abject horror. “The only thing we need to discuss is how long it’s going to take you to find a cure.”
“I don’t think it’s possible.”
“Good thing you don’t get paid for your thoughts then, right?”
He needed some space and time to collect himself but he had a job to do. “Jones and Brown. Homer here is going to figure out a way to get those bugs out of you. As of this moment, that’s his sole assignment.” His gaze swung around to the other men staring at him as a cold numbness filled him. “If any of you bother him for anything less than a severed appendage, I’ll personally see to it that you’re demoted to a sanitation squadron.” He doubted any of the men would bother the medic even without the threat but he still locked gazes with each of them just so they could see the determination in his eyes. “I’m not losing any more men today. Am I clear?”
“Yes sir,” echoed through the jungle around him.
“Good. While Homer is examining Jones and Brown, Marx and Julian are going to help me build a fire.” It might be a shitty thing to do but Marx and Julian were the newest men on his team. They got the job simply because Gates refused to make those closest to Langster set up his funeral pyre. Still, when the others started to clear the ground and set large stones to keep the fire contained, he didn’t send them away.
The logs were chosen and carried into the center of the ring where they were laid out into a single layer. After they placed Langster’s body onto the platform they added another layer of wood and an accelerant before Gates lit it on fire. With each pop and sizzle of the fire he imagined the spiders still entombed in Langster’s body burning to death. There was no evidence the bugs felt pain but he hoped they did. He hoped they felt each agonizing second of their existence as their exoskeletons caught light and melted off their bodies.
But then, long before he could feel any sense of closure, it was over. Langster’s body had returned to ash and there was nothing left to keep them tied to the spot. Gates couldn’t seem to make himself move though. None of them could. They all stayed staring at that spot until the sun started to set and shadows began to swallow the camp around them.
When night was finally on them Gates turned to his men. “I expect everyone here to eat. An empty stomach tomorrow isn’t going to help Langster’s memory. It’ll only slow you down and make you more at risk for illness and injury.”
The men started to wander off but they meandered around the camp as if lost. He nodded to Julian to get the man’s attention. “Make sure they eat. And, for the love of light, make sure they all have their nettings tonight.”
“Yes sir.” The man strode off toward the supplies and Gates was left alone. He’d never felt so isolated in all his years of service. Two men in two days and two more were holding on by a thread. Once those spiders started hatching they’d be building more pyres.
He sank down to his knees and braced his head in his hands. Did his superiors know what they’d sent them into? Surely not. They would’ve warned them had they known. Right?
At one point in his service he wouldn’t have questioned it. But that was many, many missions ago. Now it seemed as if all he ever did was question. He growled to relieve some of his frustration and guilt. What the fuck was he supposed to do now? A hand on his shoulder pulled him from the thought.
“Commander.”
Gates looked up to see Julian standing above him, holding a plate of food. He hadn’t planned on eating himself. One of the few perks of being the person in charge was he didn’t have to follow orders. Besides, with his men working on autopilot he figured none of them would even notice. He’d been wrong.
“You need to keep up your strength as well, Commander.” Julian held the food out to him again.
Gates looked at the plate but didn’t make a move to take it. “And where’s your food?”
Julian’s face pinched as if he were about to be sick but then the expression faded. “I’ll get it as soon as I make sure you’ve eaten.”
Gates snorted at the obvious lie. “Sure you will. Look, you probably figured out that I had no intentions of eating. And I’m guessing your stomach isn’t exactly clamoring for food right now.”
Julian looked away from him, confirming Gates’ suspicions. “Sit down, Julian.” Gates fell back on his ass as he gave the order. “We’ll share. That way you won’t have to worry about me and I won’t have to worry about you.”
Julian sat down close enough that Gates could smell the cedar and mint that seemed to define Julian. Anytime he’d been around Julian the scent had been present. “So.” Gates grabbed a spork and took a bite of the cold rations. He wasn’t even s
ure what he was eating. It could be beans. It could be processed meat. He only knew it tasted like salt and felt like gelatinous goo on his tongue. “What made you sign up for the modified soldier program?” Now seemed as good a time to ask as any. Besides, if he didn’t make idle chitchat he might actually start talking about the questions that weighed heavily on his mind. That wouldn’t be good for morale.
Julian laughed harshly. “My father.”
Gates took another bite and then realized Julian hadn’t eaten anything. “Eat.”
“Only one spork, sir.”
“Then use your damn fingers. I’m not the queen and this isn’t a tea party.”
Julian sighed but then nodded. “Yes sir.”
“Your father, huh?”
“The illustrious Colonel Black.” Julian’s voice held so much disdain that even Gates could hear it. “He would’ve signed up for the program himself but he was too old. When I came of age he gave me a nudge.”
“A nudge?”
“Yep. Along with a threat or two just to make sure I was onboard with his plan.” Julian shook his head and he tore off a chunk of the dry bread before he dipped it in the bean-meat goo and then plopped it into his mouth.
“I saw he was your father when I read through your file. I thought maybe you used Daddy dearest’s connections to get the assignment.”
“I have no doubt my father is behind me getting the assignment but it wasn’t at my request.” Julian took another bite. “I’d rather soak in a bath of lemon juice while covered in a thousand paper cuts than ask that man for anything.”
Gates smiled. He couldn’t help himself. “That’s some pretty medieval imagery you’ve got going on there.”
Julian laughed at the comment and Gates couldn’t breathe for a moment. The man had the most wonderful laugh. It was warm and inviting but with just enough of an edge to hint at pain. Warm and damaged was one of Gates’ favorite combinations when it came to men. Gates’ heart stopped at the realization. He refused to be attracted to one of his subordinates.
“Medieval torture is preferable to owing my father for anything.” Julian sucked a finger into his mouth to get some trace of food off it and Gates immediately went hard. It had to be the emotional stress of the day. Nothing more.
“Are you okay, sir?” Julian studied him for a moment. “You don’t look very good all of a sudden. Should I go get the medic?”
Yeah, he bet he didn’t look great right now. He didn’t feel all that fabulous either. Not with his cock hard with desire and his gut clenching with guilt. Those were two emotions that didn’t mix well. Not that he could let Julian know. “No. Sorry. I’m okay. Just a long day.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure, rookie. Besides,” he wiggled his fingers, “Homer is a busy man right now and I’ve got all my appendages.”
One of Julian’s eyebrows rose in question at the nickname but he let it go without argument. Instead he dropped his gaze down to the plate and ran his fingertips in what was left of the gravy. When he brought his fingers to his mouth to lick them clean, Gates nearly moaned. Yeah, he was in trouble.
Two bursts of weapon fire buzzed through the camp and cooled his desire though. Gates jumped up and pulled his gun from his holster but Homer’s appearance made him still.
“They committed suicide?” Julian asked. He had apparently stood when Gates had and now the man was close enough that Gates could feel the heat radiating from him.
Homer nodded. “I did everything I could. I even managed to extract a couple of the spiders to experiment on. But then the men started to feel the bugs moving under their skin. They decided they’d rather die from their own hand than the way Langster did.”
“Go tell the men. They’ll want to build the pyres.” A deep coldness took root in Gates and he worried that he’d never be able to feel again.
“Yes sir.” Homer went off to the tents and Gates was left behind with Julian once again.
He turned toward the man only to find his empty desperation echoed in Julian’s eyes. “It’ll be okay.” It could be a lie as easily as it could be the truth and even Gates didn’t know which it was. He needed Julian to believe in him though.
“I think they made the right decision. If anything like that happens to me—”
Gates felt a kick to his gut as he replaced Langster with Julian in his mind. Wanting the image to stop, needing to reassure himself that Julian was still alive, he pulled the man to him in a tight embrace. “You’re strong enough to handle whatever this planet throws at you.” He said the words over Julian’s shoulder into the night. “You’ll make it through this. That’s an order.”
“Yes sir.”
Julian dropped his forehead to Gates’ shoulder and wrapped his arms around Gates’ waist. He was a soldier taking comfort from his commander. But in that moment Gates felt the cold that entombed him melt into a smoldering heat. It was a sensation a commander should never feel with a subordinate. But damn did it feel good. Everything was still fucked-up. Somehow being in Julian’s arms made it seem better though.
Yeah, even if he somehow managed to get them off this planet in one piece, Gates was never going to be okay. He’d killed one of his men and led three others to their deaths in just two days. And the only thing that made him feel better was a man he refused to indulge in.
He took a step away from Julian as he tried to bring his emotions under control. He’d have to be careful around Julian from now on. He couldn’t allow his attraction to develop into anything deeper. Julian needed him to be his commander right now, nothing more. And as his commander, Gates needed to help set up two more pyres tonight.
There were only sixteen of them left.
Chapter Three
Three days passed in a relative blur of normalcy after the spider incident. Not that Julian really hoped trekking through a jungle with fifteen men would become his new normal. But he took it as a good sign that no one else had died. And since the medic’s experiments had discovered that a local plant’s oil was toxic to the arachnids, the deaths of Jones and Brown hadn’t been in vain. Now the men smeared the oil all over their bodies before they went to sleep. One bite and the spiders died before they could burrow under their skins and lay eggs. They still used netting, of course. But it was an added layer of protection and that helped them sleep at night. And as it turned out, a good night’s sleep was important. Not that Julian would know much about that. He couldn’t stop fantasizing about Gates long enough to get more than a couple hours of shuteye.
“Look sharp, men.” Gates’ voice drifted back to him and Julian’s cock immediately started to harden. “Something is throwing a glint about ten klicks due north.” Gates put down his binoculars and then turned to face the group.
Julian swept the jungle landscape around them before asking, “Are we expecting hostiles?”
“No. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t out there.”
He did have a point. They hadn’t been expecting reptile men or spiders that laid eggs under the skin but they’d run into both so far. Who the hell knew what else was out there?
“Julian, you and Diller are going to scout the area and find out what that is.” Gates grabbed his reader out of his pocket and then turned it on and brought up the map. “We’re around here.” He circled an area with his fingertip. “The object is here.” He pointed to an area to the north. “And the rest of the team is going to go this way.” He trailed his fingertip from their current location to the north but slightly to the west. “We’ll rendezvous here,” he said, pointing out the spot. “Where you’ll give me a full report.”
Julian studied the map for a second longer and then nodded. “Got it, sir.” Relief made his muscles relax and his spirit light as he realized the mission would allow him some precious alone time. Maybe if he wasn’t surrounded by Gates’ presence he wouldn’t obsess about him. At least for a couple of hours.
Gates nodded and then turned to the other soldier. “Diller?”
&n
bsp; “Got it, sir.”
“Safe scouting, men.”
“Thanks, Commander.” Julian adjusted his backpack and then he and Diller set off to the north. They stayed silent as they made their way across the jungle floor. Of course there were noises they couldn’t avoid. Occasionally one of them would step on a twig or walk too closely to a plant and their clothes would brush against it. But those were noises that fit with the jungle around them. They wouldn’t speak to each other though. Instead they used hand signals when communication became necessary.
It was the respite Julian expected but he didn’t find the peace he’d hoped for when setting off. The silence and monotony of the day led his mind to wander. He should stay focused. His brief time on the planet had taught him that. But he just couldn’t. He found himself thinking about Gates’ muscled body more and more often as the day passed. When he caught himself remembering the feel of Gates’ shirt against his face for the third time in what could only be a fifteen-minute span, he nearly cursed.
Damn. It. To. Hell. Why had Gates comforted him that night? Life would be so much easier if he hadn’t. Sure, Julian would still be tormented by images of the man jacking off. But that was attraction. Lust. Nothing more. By letting Julian lean on him, Gates had made the attraction more complex. He’d given it a depth.
Julian was so wrapped up in the troubling thoughts that he almost didn’t notice Diller’s abrupt stop. As it was, Julian barely stopped in time to prevent stepping on the man. He couldn’t believe he’d been daydreaming for the better part of the scouting trip. He’d have to get his head on straight if he had any hope of surviving this mission.
Diller pointed to himself then to the east before pointing to Julian and gesturing to the west. They were going to encircle the object. Sounded like a reasonable plan to Julian. He nodded and then made his way to the west. When he glimpsed the first view of the shuttle he crouched down low to the ground and crept closer.
The vines and foliage that encroached on the vehicle told him that the ship had been here for some time but he still approached it with caution. He had his weapon raised and ready to be fired at any sign of trouble. The gray-and-blue insignia painted on its side was the first real evidence that they weren’t the only military force on the planet. And since the Coalition occasionally appropriated military property during raids, he needed to establish which side the crew fought on. A team of genetically modified rebels running around would be something Gates would definitely need to know about.