by M. Leighton
“What’s the matter?”
“Not like this, Madly.”
“Not like what?”
“Like this. In a cave, when we’re being hunted and you’ve got so much else on your mind.”
“Trust me, I wasn’t thinking about anything but you,” I teased. Jackson didn’t smile.
“Madly, this won’t be like a wedding, something we can just do over the way we want. You’ll only have one first time and I want yours to be perfect. This,” he said, looking around at the cave, “is not perfect.”
My heart swelled with love for Jackson—for the man who went to such lengths to protect me, for the man who’d loved me as long as I’d loved him, for the man who put my feelings first, even when I could feel how badly he wanted me.
“You are perfect. Any time with you will be perfect, but I understand what you’re saying. And if you want to wait, we’ll wait.”
Jackson snorted. “Trust me, there’s nothing I’d like better right now than to push you up against the wall, wrap your legs around me and bury myself inside you.” He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, as if the mere thought of it was nearly too much. “But I won’t. You deserve better than that. In fact, you deserve better than me.”
Even in the low light, I could see his frown. I knew where his thoughts were going. “No. We were made for each other. There is no one else for me. I don’t care what color your hair is or who your parents were or what your job is. You are the most amazing man I’ve ever met and I love you so much I sometimes feel like I can’t contain it inside my chest. Don’t ever say I deserve better. You are the best there is.”
To punctate my point, I pressed my lips to his—sweetly, meaningfully. When Jackson’s arms came around me this time, he hugged me close and buried his face in the crook of my neck. I wished desperately that his doubts would drown in the ocean of love I had for him. If not today, then someday. I would make it my mission.
“Come on,” Jackson said, taking me by the hand. “Let’s see where this comes out. We can wait this out at the other end.”
My mind spun as we made our way through the dark cave. I thought of the situation that had led us here, I thought of my family. I thought of my friends on land, my life up there, and I wondered how all this would feel in a few days or weeks or months as I looked back on it.
But most of all, I thought of my new marital status. I was married to Jackson, the man of my dreams. We would soon be having a wedding night. I knew we wouldn’t be able to wait for the more “traditional” wedding Jackson was hoping to give me. No, there wouldn’t be very much more waiting. We wanted each other too much.
While the thoughts of making love to Jackson warmed me up all too quickly, something he’d said before cooled me down just as fast. He’d mentioned that it was my first time. He’d said nothing about his. I mean, I was no fool. I knew all about men and their needs. I guess I’d just never really dwelled on the thought of Jackson “being” with anyone but me. And, irrational though it was to feel threatened by past lovers, it bothered me.
It was those troubling thoughts that plagued me when I lay in Jackson’s arms hours later, his body spooned up against mine. I could hear his deep breathing, but I knew he wasn’t asleep. Not fully anyway. I could feel a wakefulness, an alertness about him, probably something to do with him being a Sentinel.
As if sensing my disquiet, Jackson stirred, nuzzling the side of my neck with his chin. “You should be sleeping.”
I said nothing. He was right; I should’ve been sleeping. We hadn’t slept in well over thirty-six hours. I was exhausted, yet I couldn’t quiet my mind, my emotions.
When I didn’t respond, Jackson leaned up on one elbow to look down at me. “What’s wrong?”
I rolled slightly toward him, staring up into his deeply shadowed face. “What were they like?”
“What were who like?”
“The other girls you’ve been with.”
I heard Jackson exhale through his nose, almost a sigh, but not. “Madly, just pretend that there was no one before you. That’s how I feel. You’re the only one who ever has or ever will matter to me.”
“So you didn’t really care about any of them?”
“Not really, not like I do you.”
“But you did care about them some, then?”
Jackson did sigh this time. “Madly, I didn’t callously use and discard other girls, no. I did care about them in some small way, probably like you cared about Aidan or any of your other friends. But comparing the way that I felt about them to the way that I feel about you would be like comparing a light bulb to the sun.” Jackson stroked my hair absently as he looked down into my face. Even in the dim light, I could see the emotion and feel the heat in his eyes. “Please don’t think about the past. My life started when you said you loved me. Can’t we just go forward from there?”
He was right. I was being ridiculous. I smiled. “Yeah, I think I can do that.”
Leaning forward, Jackson brushed his lips across my cheekbone. “Go to sleep. You need your rest.”
And that time, I did.
********
A gentle shaking along with Jackson’s whisper woke me. “Madly, it’s time to go.”
He helped me up and we walked to the exit of the cave. The outlet. It was much larger than the small hole we’d crawled through to get into the cave. Jackson could stand comfortably at the edge of the opening.
As we’d made our way away from the cavern at the waterfall, we’d discovered the cave was actually a horizontal tube that ran through the rock formation. It ended where we stood, at the outlet.
Poised at Jackson’s side, looking out I saw nothing but endless ocean in every direction, even straight down. The ledge on which we stood overlooked a deep crevasse in the ocean floor.
“Why have I never seen this?” I asked. I’d played all over Atlas as a child. I was pretty sure I’d explored every nook and cranny. I didn’t see how I could’ve overlooked something as enormous as this canyon.
“I’m not sure. Maybe it’s cloaked somehow. I’ve never seen it either and I had to train and patrol every cubic foot of these waters for years. But I knew it existed. I’d heard…”
A niggle of unease worked its way down my spine. There were very few things Jackson didn’t know about Atlas. Why did this have to be one of those things? Why he couldn’t know every detail about the outlet and where it went?
“So which way do we go? And how do we get past the shield and the alarms?”
Jackson’s brow wrinkled in concentration as he scanned the waters with eyes that missed nothing. He reached out and dipped his finger in the water, water which stood like a wall in front of the opening, kept at bay by the magical airlock. He brought it back in and mumbled. “East. We need to go East.”
“Okay, but what about the alarms?” I asked again.
“Do you think you can make us invisible and still have enough power to call a whale into the shield? I know they’re hard to lure, considering the strength of the electromagnetic field around the shield…”
I gave ample contemplation to his request. If I told him I could, then I needed to be sure. If Jackson wasn’t going to be with me, I would’ve had to say no, but I knew as long as he was near, my power would be considerably amplified.
“Yes, I’m pretty sure it won’t be a problem,” I equivocated, hating to sound too confident on the off chance I failed. Only failure wasn’t an option. Failure would result in disaster. And probably the death of at least one of the people I loved most in the world.
“Wait to call the whale until we are at the first set of alarms. That way we’ll have plenty of time to get through without detection.”
“Leviathan will be able to see us, even if we’re invisible, right?” It was one of the perks of being pure evil. It had spiritual eyes that saw past flesh and bone and scales.
“Yes, but it’s only part of our problem. We have to make sure we aren’t seen by Sentinels either. We have to make it as con
vincing as possible that the whale strayed into the shield by accident.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem. Once he triggers the alarms, it’ll disorient him for a while. They’ll probably think there’s something wrong with him.” That brought to mind a horrible thought. I swallowed hard. “What will they do with him?” I was almost afraid to ask, but I had to know what I was getting the poor whale into. What if they killed him?
“They’ll swim him around inside until the med unit arrives then they’ll examine him. Once they determine he isn’t a threat, they’ll tag him and release him.”
“Tag him? Why?”
“In case he disrupts the system again.”
“But they won’t try to hurt him or anything?”
“No, of course not.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn’t sure I could’ve done it if I’d thought the whale would die, even though it would’ve been a justified sacrifice. I had my doubts it was a sacrifice I could make knowingly, though.
Taking my hand in his, Jackson asked, “You ready?”
I nodded and closed my eyes to concentrate on our visibility. When I felt the power that surrounded me pouring through my blood and working through my bracelet, I looked up at Jackson. “Okay. We should be good to go.”
Jackson squeezed my fingers reassuringly. “I’ll fix this, Madly. Trust me.”
I tried to smile brightly, but felt it falter. I reminded myself that if there was anyone who could fix it, it was Jackson. I was fairly certain there was little he couldn’t do if he set his mind to it.
Clinging to that knowledge like a lifeline, Jackson and I stepped out of the cave and into the vastness of the ocean. Within a fraction of a second, our tail fins had reformed and we were speeding through the water. Jackson kept me close to his body as we moved, whether for my comfort or my safety I wasn’t sure. Either way, I appreciated it.
We swam for quite a distance before I began to feel oriented, recognizing several landmarks as we passed. I wondered about the magic used to keep the cave entrance and canyon cloaked. I’d never encountered magic like that before, magic that could be concealed from my bracelet, from my senses. I concluded that it had to be ancient magic, put in place by the older generations, possibly even someone from the High Council.
When Jackson stopped suddenly, all thoughts of that curious magic left my mind, replaced in an instant by the task at hand and the inherent peril of it.
“What’s the matter?” I asked in a hushed voice.
Jackson didn’t respond right away. His sharp blue eyes scanned the waters around us like an eagle scans the sky. I looked out, trying to see what he saw, hear what he heard, feel what he felt. Although nothing seemed out of the ordinary to me, I knew Jackson was sensing something. His tension tickled my nerves from head to toe as if he were strumming them like guitar strings.
“Madly, don’t ask questions. Swim that way,” he said, pointing off to our right. “Don’t stop. Don’t look back. Don’t worry about me. I’ll find you. Just swim. Now!”
Grabbing me around the waist, Jackson gave me a push for a head start before he turned and darted off like a bullet, cutting through the water in the other direction.
Confused and a little afraid, I did as he instructed. I ignored the thought that there was only one portal in the shield and that it did not lie in this direction. I ignored the thought that the further Jackson was from me, the harder it would be to maintain his invisibility. I ignored the thought that I wouldn’t know when to summon the whale or if I still needed to. I ignored all my screaming instincts and did only what Jackson asked.
I swam.
Straining with all my power to keep Jackson’s appearance concealed, I reached out for any whale in the vicinity, thinking absently that I believed I could feel one. Without taking away from Jackson, I let my own visibility shine through just enough that I could confuse the whale and draw it closer then I put my appearance back under wraps. It was all I could do, the best I could hope for.
When the alarms sounded, I wasn’t sure if I had triggered them or if the whale had stumbled into them. I felt the disorienting, debilitating effects of them instantly. I managed to keep enough of my wits about me to pray that Jackson was safe and that he would get away. I wasn’t sure whether it was a good sign or not when the alarms were silenced less than a minute later. I recovered quickly, but it was with great unease that I resumed my swim. How could I get out when the portal lie in the other direction? What if I got trapped? What if…
My thoughts swam faster than I did as I focused on my trust of Jackson. It wasn’t until I began passing the familiar landscape of the waters outside Slumber that I slowed. How had I escaped the shield? Was there another portal?
I had so many questions, but at that moment, none of them mattered. My worries were tightly focused on one thing, one person, as I scanned the shadows of the deep—looking, listening, feeling. Jackson was nowhere. I couldn’t sense him at all.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I started to swim back toward Atlas when the memory of Jackson’s voice stopped me. It rang clearly in my head, as if I were hearing him say the words again, right at my side.
Don’t look back…I’ll find you.
With an unbearable emptiness burning in my chest, I turned from Atlas and made my way toward shore. Without Jackson.
CHAPTER SIX
The water was shallow enough for me to stand on the sandy ocean floor, but I didn’t. I swam slowly toward shore, unwilling to exchange my scales for skin. I still wasn’t entirely convinced I could get out of the water knowing Jackson was still out there, possibly in danger.
How could you leave him like that? How could you swim away from the most important person in the world?
I asked myself those questions over and over again. No concrete answer came to mind. I wondered if it was the promise I’d made to my father, the promise of every royal to Atlas—to put it first and foremost, always, above all else. I wondered if it was my absolute trust in Jackson, in his ability to keep his promises, no matter what the odds looked like. I wondered if I was suffering some sort of breakdown that was altering my thinking and my reaction to stimuli. I did a lot of wondering, but my heart continued to hurt as if impaled on an invisible spear of fear and doubt.
I swam in wide circles in the shallows until my lower body ached and the sun had set on yet another day. The more minutes that passed with no sign of Jackson, the more panic clawed at my insides. What was I to do? How could I go about finding him, rescuing him without endangering the rest of my family? Or getting myself caught in the process, rendering everyone without help?
Knowing I was fast approaching exhaustion, I willed my scales away and set my feet in the sand, walking slowly toward shore. I inhaled the familiar sweetly-scented air of Slumber and let it soothe me as much as anything could, which wasn’t very much. With the last of my waning power, I conjured shorts and a t-shirt so that I could cover my nakedness until I did what I had to do then made my way back to the water.
I had decided that the best course of immediate action was to relay what I knew to Transport, to Commander Jessup. At least that way, someone other than me had enough information to try and formulate a plan of attack so to speak. Once I shared all I’d learned, I would be free to focus on my own plans, on getting back to Jackson. Somehow. If I found my death in trying, so be it. Life wasn’t worth living without him anyway, no matter the fate of the Mer. They’d find a way. They had for thousands of years and they would again. But I could not exist in a world without Jackson. It was as simple as that.
My legs were sluggish beneath me. I knew it was in part due to fatigue. The rest was due to the hands of hopelessness dragging at my feet. I fought it, knowing I had just a bit further to go before I could make my move.
********
Transport must’ve had some inkling that something was going on, that I was back. When the elevator doors opened into the control room, there was utter silence. Every eye was turned toward me
and within seconds of the doors opening, every head bowed.
It only made me feel worse.
I swept the room with my cordial smile until I found Commander Jessup. His face was stoic, but I’d seen it enough times to recognize the dread just beneath the surface. He knew there would be bad news.
“May I have a word?” I asked.
He nodded once, sharply, and turned toward the conference room. We’d only vacated it a couple days prior, but it felt as though months had passed.
I followed him. Once inside, Jessup closed the door behind me, but neither of us moved to sit in one of the many empty chairs.
“You have news of Atlas?” he asked without preamble.
“Yes. In some ways, it’s worse than I thought.” I summarized all that I’d learned about the release of the Lore, the plight of my family and the involvement of Leviathan.
“Rumpel!” Jessup exclaimed, rubbing a hand over his face. “It really is worse than we thought.”
If Rumpel weren’t bad enough on his own, his control of Leviathan made him a double threat. “I’ve already run into Leviathan once. Rumpel may know we’re on to him.”
Jessup questioned me about every detail of our encounter with Leviathan. The muscle along his jawline ticked rhythmically, the only outward sign of his agitation. I tried to gloss over how we escaped into the cave, but the Commander wouldn’t let it go so easily.
“Yes, I know of the cave. I believe it lies behind the waterfall at the Pool of Neptune, correct?” Commander Jessup had been on land for many, many years. I had hoped he might not remember so many details.
“It does.”
“Then how di—”
He stopped abruptly as understanding dawned. I understood why it hadn’t come faster. Never in Mer history had a royal in the ruling house tied with a non-royal, a common Mer.