by Susan Stoker
Jess knew she’d revisit all of the same feelings she’d just gone through sooner rather than later though. An hour wasn’t enough to completely heal, but she knew she felt as okay as she did, because Kason was there with her.
Jess had kissed Tabitha on the forehead, crying a bit again, feeling the coldness of her skin, and finally let Kason tug the sheet back up and over Tabitha’s face.
“Come on, gorgeous, let’s get out of here.”
Jess had nodded and they’d left. Kason thanked the caretaker and he’d taken them to the same park he’d pulled into not too long ago when he was taking her home from work that first night. He hadn’t said anything, but just helped her out of the car and they’d made the short walk to a bench. They’d sat on the bench and talked about Tabitha, and about nothing important for over two hours. Finally, after Jess’s stomach had growled, Kason had helped her up and taken her back to his car and back to his apartment.
Now she was sitting on his couch, comfortable and warm, and trying not to cry. Jess felt like she’d been crying all day. She hated being such a wimp, she’d never been one to feel sorry for herself. She needed a distraction. She got up and made her way to the kitchen.
“Can I help?”
Benny looked up at Jessyka. She’d been strong all day and he was so proud of her. He wanted to make a good home-style meal for her. He’d never invited a woman to assist him in the kitchen before. It was his space, the place he went when he needed to decompress. But the thought of having Jess standing next to him helping him, felt right. It felt like the next natural step in their relationship . . . whatever that was.
“I’d like nothing more than for you to help me, Jess.”
Jessyka tilted her head, somehow knowing there was more to his words than she was understanding, but she wasn’t feeling up to figuring it out right now.
“Where do you want me?”
Benny chuckled, if Jess knew where he really wanted her, she’d probably run screaming from the apartment.
“Come’ere. You chop the veggies while I put together the lasagna.”
“You’re making lasagna? Isn’t that . . . complicated?”
Benny leaned toward Jess and got in her space. “What? You don’t think I can do complicated?”
Jess swallowed hard. There were times when she thought Kason wanted more from her than just friendship, like now, but then other times he acted just like a buddy, like a friend would. “I-I-I’m sure you can.” She hated how her voice stuttered.
“I can do complicated, gorgeous. Promise. I like to cook. I’m good at it. This is gonna be the best lasagna you’ve ever eaten.”
“If the omelet this morning was any indication, I’m sure it will be.”
They worked around each other in the small space. Jess would reach for a knife around Kason as he worked on layering the sauce and noodles in the pan. He would stretch over her and snatch a slice of green pepper off of the cutting board as she chopped. They laughed and joked with each other. It was just what Jess needed. She felt normal.
“Here, taste this.”
Jess turned to see Kason holding a wooden spoon out to her with a dollop of sauce on it. He had one hand under the spoon to catch any sauce that might drip. “Guarantee it’s the best sauce you’ve ever tasted.”
Without thinking, Jess took hold of Kason’s wrist on the hand that was holding the spoon and leaned toward him. She opened her mouth and looked up at him just as she closed her lips around the spoon. She almost choked at the heat pouring out of his eyes. She pulled back and licked her lips, letting go of his wrist.
“Good, isn’t it?” Benny asked, not taking his eyes off of Jess’s lips. He took his thumb and wiped the corner of her mouth where some errant sauce lingered. He suppressed his groan as her tongue came out and licked right where he’d just been touching.
“Jesus, Kason, that is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”
Her innocent words made Benny’s libido sit up and take notice . . . again. She hadn’t meant anything by what she’d said, but his mind immediately went into the gutter. Her words accompanied by the visual of how she’d opened her mouth, held on to his wrist and how her eyes looked up at him with open honesty and anticipation, made him immediately harden in his jeans. He knew she’d look exactly like that kneeling at his feet as she prepared to take him into her mouth.
“Just wait until you taste the finished product, gorgeous,” Benny managed, keeping his lower body turned away from her, swallowing hard, trying to remember the tough day she’d had. She didn’t need to deal with his obvious desire on top of everything else.
After Benny put the lasagna into the oven to cook, he suggested they eat the salad while they were waiting for the main dish. He could hear Jess’s stomach growling and didn’t want her to have to wait another hour to eat. They sat at the bar and munched on the salad. They talked about nothing important, until Benny saw some of the sadness lift from Jess’s eyes.
The only thing that happened while they were eating that Benny didn’t like, was when he reached across the bar for the salt shaker. Jess had startled and almost fallen off her stool trying to get away from his reaching arm.
Benny had stopped immediately and looked at her in concern. “Just getting the salt, Jess,” he soothed.
“Yeah, I know . . . sorry.” She blushed in embarrassment and wouldn’t meet his eyes.
Kason put his hand on her forearm lightly and stroked her with his thumb as he spoke. “Don’t be sorry, but I hope you do know you have nothing to be afraid of with me or with any of my teammates. We might be big and mean, but you are never in danger of being hurt or hit when we’re around.”
“I know Kason. I know. I just . . . it’s just instinctive. You can’t erase years of me being cautious in one night. Just be patient with me.”
Slowly Benny brought his hand up to Jess’s cheek. “As long as you know you’re safe, I’ll try to be patient.”
“I know I’m safe.”
“Okay then, will you please pass the salt? I should’ve asked in the first place instead of being rude and reaching for it. My mom would’ve smacked the back of my head if she’d been here.” He smiled at her, lightening the mood once again.
Jessyka laughed and shook her head. Kason never did what she thought he would. She leaned over, grabbed the salt and handed it to him.
Later, after they’d eaten dinner, and Jess had admitted it was the best lasagna she’d ever eaten, they were sitting on the couch watching a football game on the television. Jess wasn’t really paying attention, but she didn’t want to be rude and tell Kason she hated the game. She was going over in her head all that had happened and what she should do next with her life.
There was a knock at the door and Benny stood up. “Stay.”
“What am I, a dog?” Jess mock grumbled, but didn’t move as Benny got up to answer the door.
He opened it to see his teammates standing there. “Hey.”
“Hey, Benny. Got the stuff,” Mozart told him gruffly.
Benny looked at his friends, none of them looked happy. “What the fuck happened?” he asked softly, not wanting Jess to hear them if something went awry.
“Let us in, Benny,” Wolf said seriously.
Benny opened the door and the five men entered and stood around the small space. They all looked at Jessyka, who was now standing by the coffee table. They all noticed she kept the couch between them.
“Hey guys . . .” she began, but stopped when no one returned her greeting.
Benny came over to her and put his hand around her upper arm gently and led her over to the men. “Before you guys say what you need to, let me formally introduce you. I know you know Jess, hell, we’ve seen her almost every time we’ve eaten at Aces, but everyone, this is Jessyka, with a y-k-a, Allen. Jess, this is Wolf, Abe, Mozart, Cookie, and you already met Dude.”
Jess looked at the men. They were certainly good looking, and big, and right now having all their attention on her was a bit unnervin
g. She was used to them being with their women and not really paying any attention to her. “Hi,” was all she could squeak out. She looked back to Kason.
“Did that asshole do all that to you?” Cookie growled.
“Here we go again,” Jess said under her breath. She’d made it through Dude’s inspection earlier, she wasn’t feeling up to another, or four, others.
“Yes, Brian hit me. He hurt me. I’m okay. I have bruises, but they’re healing. I’m here, I’m not there anymore. I don’t limp because of him. I was born with one leg shorter than the other. I just had the best fucking lasagna I’ve ever eaten and am feeling fairly mellow after a long, shitty day. Can we please move on?”
Surprisingly, she watched the men’s mouths quirk as if they wanted to laugh, but they didn’t.
“Yeah, sweets, we can move on,” Mozart said for the group.
“Thank God,” Jess commented, barely resisting the urge to roll her eyes.
“So we went by today to get your stuff,” Wolf said grimly. “There was a lot of shit sitting out by the dumpster, we had a bad feeling about it and when we checked it out, figured it was yours.”
Jess gasped. Brian had thrown her stuff away?
Wolf continued. “We loaded it all up to bring to you, and Dude and Abe went to ‘speak’ with Brian.”
“I take it the talk didn’t go well,” Jessyka said, figuring Brian probably tried to act all macho with the men standing in front of her. He never did know when to keep his mouth shut and when it was appropriate to voice his displeasure.
“Yeah, it didn’t go well,” Abe responded dryly.
“What’d he do?”
“For starters he copped an attitude with us, which wasn’t smart. Then he insulted you, his sister, and someone named Tabitha.”
Jess drew in a breath, just hearing Tabitha’s name brought back the intense pain she’d felt earlier that day. She’d been able to bank it during dinner and while sitting with Kason, but simply hearing her name brought it all back in an instant.
Kason put his hand on her lower back and slowly massaged her there. His touch pushed the feelings back just enough so she could focus again.
Abe continued, not commenting on her indrawn breath, “We were going to just take a look around and get out of his hair until he started with the threats.”
The air in the room turned electric. Jess didn’t know how else to describe it. The men were pissed. They were pissed then and they were obviously still pissed now. “Threats?”
“Yeah, telling us he’d fuck you up worse the next time he saw you wasn’t his best choice of words. Dude convinced him of the error of his way of thinking,” Abe said.
“What did you do?” Jess whispered, horrified, looking at Dude.
“Don’t worry about it, Jess,” Wolf told her confidently. “Brian won’t touch you again.”
Jess was horrified. “But you guys could get in trouble. I don’t understand why you’d risk your career for me. I know around here all it’ll take is one person complaining about something you did and taking it back to the base. Your military career could be hurt because of me.”
Dude walked up to Jess, as he had that morning, and put his finger under her chin again. Jess knew she should probably be more freaked out than she was, but as she’d told Kason earlier that night, she knew these guys wouldn’t hurt her. But it was obvious they liked to make sure whoever they were talking to, saw them while they were talking. Kason’s hand on her back went a long way to making her feel safe and comfortable though.
“He won’t touch you again,” Dude repeated what Wolf had just said. “But, if you see him, turn and walk the other way. Don’t engage him. You let one of us know and we’ll deal with it.”
He wasn’t asking. He was telling.
Jess pulled her face out of Dude’s grip and looked at the men. “I don’t understand any of this, but fine. I don’t want anything to do with him ever again, so it’s no problem for me to walk away from him.”
“We looked around your old place and gathered what we thought was yours,” Cookie told her. “Unfortunately, it looked like he’d already removed most of it. What we did find by the dumpster was either broken or destroyed. We found a few bags of your clothes though. But don’t worry, Fiona and the other women are already on a mission to replace every piece of clothing that might have been destroyed . . . plus enough clothes for you to wear one outfit a day for the next year and not have to repeat anything.”
The other men chuckled, obviously knowing their women and their shopping habits.
“But I can’t pay them back,” Jess fretted, turning to Kason.
“You don’t need to pay them back, Jess,” Benny reassured her.
“But . . .”
Wolf interrupted Jessyka before she could protest further. “Jess, this is what friends do. We know you, we like you. You were in a hell of a situation. Any one of us should’ve done something sooner, but we didn’t.”
“I don’t understand.”
“We saw you all the time, Jess. I’m sure Benny has explained this to you. We saw how you were changing in front of our eyes, week after week. We didn’t know for sure what Brian was doing to you, but we had our suspicions, but none of us did anything. That’s on us. This is our way of making it right. And I’d just like to see you try to tell Ice or the other women you won’t take the things they get for you. If you think we’re bad, you haven’t seen anything yet.”
The men all laughed. Jess didn’t know what to say.
Dude hadn’t moved, but now leaned down and kissed Jess on the cheek. “I advise you to just go with it, Jess. You won’t win.” He chucked her under the chin and backed away. “I’ll go and get what we brought.”
Wolf came up to Jessyka next and kissed the other cheek. “Hang in there, sweetie. Things will get better quickly. Promise.”
The other three men came up in sequence and kissed her as well. They all added their support and left to make sure all her things were brought inside.
Jess looked up at Benny. “Your friends are all so nice.”
“They’re your friends now too, Jess.”
She blinked. She supposed they were. Jess didn’t know how she’d gotten so lucky, but she silently threw a prayer toward the sky. Maybe Tabitha was watching out for her and making sure she was all right. Jess closed her eyes and smiled a small smile.
Chapter Eight
“Come on, Jess! You have to try that on!” Summer’s voice rang through the store.
Jess shook her head. “Summer, I’ve tried practically everything in the store on already. I’m tired, I’m broke, and I’m ready to go home!”
“Just one more store, you have to see the new stuff they got in!”
Jess sighed and followed Summer out of the store. Kason’s teammates’ women were awesome. They were funny and down to earth and Jess liked them from the moment they met up that day. She figured she would, since she’d seen them in the bar every week. They never snapped their fingers at her, they were always polite, and they were all great tippers.
She pulled out her phone to text Kason. She’d gotten used to texting him whenever a funny thought struck her. He always responded, sometimes not right away, but at least within a few hours.
Summer is drvig me crazy! Save me!
His response was almost immediate this time. Too much shopping?
Y!
Kason didn’t text back, but Jess wasn’t worried. He’d never failed to come through for her. The last month had been unreal for Jessyka. She’d been nervous about living with Kason, but shouldn’t have been. He’d set up his extra room for her, provided her with a little TV of her own, so when she needed her own space, she’d have a place to go. He’d given her five hundred dollars so she could buy what she needed. Jess had insisted it be a loan, and Kason had agreed, but she had a feeling she’d have a fight on her hands if she actually tried to pay him back.
So Jess made sure she earned her keep around the apartment. When she did her laun
dry, she threw his in too. She vacuumed and cleaned the dishes when he cooked.
She quickly learned he was anal about his kitchen and about cooking. Caroline had looked at her like she was an alien from another planet when Jess had told her that she and Kason frequently made dinner together. Caroline explained that Kason never let anyone help him. Ever. Even his teammates. The kitchen was his domain and was off limits to anyone when he was cooking.
Jess had been shocked, Kason had never said anything to her about it. She’d confronted him about it one night and all he’d said was, “I don’t mind when you help me.”
Jess had let it go because honestly, it was one of her favorite times, when they stood side-by-side in the small kitchen preparing dinner.
When Kason had to work late, Jess always made sure she had something waiting for him when he got home. Jess knew she wasn’t as good of a cook as he was, but Kason never made her feel as if what she’d made was any less delicious than what he’d make for himself.
He admitted that most of the time when he lived by himself he just threw a pre-packaged meal in the microwave and ate that for dinner. Jess had been appalled, but Kason just laughed.
Jessyka admitted to herself that she was at a point where she wished for more with Kason, but she honestly had no idea what he thought about her. He touched her all the time. He’d kiss her on the head, he’d put his hand on her waist or the small of her back to steer her around furniture or to where he wanted her to go. When they watched TV, he’d put his arm around her and she’d snuggle into his side, but Jess hadn’t seen any signs from him that he wanted anything more than friendship.
Kason hadn’t held her in his arms since that first night. Every now and then when Jess would have a nightmare she craved the feel of Kason’s arms around her, to make her feel safe, but she’d lay in her bed, wide-awake, by herself, waiting for her terror to fade.
Living with Kason made her appreciate what he and his teammates went through to stay as in shape as they were. They worked out, or did PT, almost every morning. They would run ten miles along the beach, swim, bike, lift weights . . . not to mention the mock situations they participated in on the base to keep up to date in extraction techniques or whatever. They were always having meetings and other things they couldn’t talk about.