by Matt Dunn
'That's not funny. Or likely, really.'
'You never know.' Nathan grinned. 'So, where are you meeting her?'
'Old Amsterdam. Six o'clock.'
Nathan nodded approvingly. 'Well, we'll miss you this evening. But remember, if it doesn't work out, you can always come along afterwards. And if it does, you still can. Just make sure you bring her too. So us jealous single blokes can check her out.'
'Yeah, right.'
As Nathan turned his attention back to his laptop, Calum hopped off the end of the desk and walked back out into the corridor. If tonight did work out – and he was going to do his best to make sure it did – then the last thing he wanted to do was jeopardise his chances by introducing Emma to his good-looking friend. Besides, he was sure there'd be other opportunities to show her off. At their wedding, maybe... He smiled to himself as he took the stairs back up to his office two at a time. Their wedding! Best not to get ahead of himself - though 'Emma Irwin' did have a nice ring to it...
Slightly out of breath, Calum sat back down at his computer, trying – and failing - not to check his phone for texts and his email for messages before his backside had even made contact with his chair.
Sophie had been pretending to work for the past half an hour, though in actual fact, she'd secretly been studying Julie over the top of her laptop screen instead, and she could see why Nathan might have a thing for her. Julie was attractive, after all, and she had that annoying (to other women, at least, thought Sophie, glancing down at her own, more womanly curves) combination of large breasts and a slim figure, but physical attributes aside, surely she wasn't Nathan's type? He was outgoing, and fun, and - apart from when Sophie had seen her reluctantly joining in with pass-the-balloon at the Christmas party - Julie wasn't exactly the life and soul of the office.
They got on well enough, she supposed, which was probably just as well with only the two of them in the marketing department. And while Julie had never been overly friendly, Sophie reasoned that was because she was her boss, and who was ever best friends with their boss? Although there was no reason why that couldn't change, and in fact, Sophie decided, it had to. She needed to know her competition, or at least, know if Julie was her competition, and that meant finding out if she was interested in Nathan. An idea suddenly occurred to her, so she leaned back in her chair, stretched exaggeratedly, then stood up.
'Coffee?'
Julie looked up distractedly from the report she'd been editing. 'Huh?'
'I thought I'd nip out and pick us up a coffee. Well, a couple of coffees. Proper ones, from Pret. Not that instant rubbish in the kitchen.' Sophie realised she was babbling. 'If you'd like one, that is?'
Julie glanced at her watch, then shrugged. 'Sure. Thanks. A latte, please. Oh, and a...'
'Chocolate muffin?'
'Am I that predictable?'
'Not predictable. Just...' Sophie hunted for the right words. Set in your ways perhaps wasn't the kindest description of Julie's love of routine. 'Well, maybe just a little.'
Julie shot her a look, then reached for her bag. 'Let me give you some money.'
'That's okay.' Sophie smiled sweetly. 'My treat,' she said, making for the door.
She hurried down the stairs, resisted the temptation to go down another flight to Nathan's office just to see whether he had her card displayed on his desk, then ran outside and across the road to the Pret A Manger on the opposite corner. Five minutes later (and nearly ten pounds worse off, Sophie was shocked to find out), she was back.
'So,' she said, breathlessly placing a latte and a muffin down on Julie's desk. 'Valentine's Day, eh?'
Julie made a weary face as she pulled the lid off her cup. 'Tell me about it.'
For a second, Sophie wondered whether Julie actually wanted her to, before deciding she probably didn't, though her boss was a tough person to read, so she just rolled her eyes in what she thought was a 'sisters together' kind of way, and leant against the edge of her desk. 'Looking forward to this evening?' she said, tipping a sachet of sweetener into her cappuccino.
'The bowling? Not really.' Julie blew on her coffee, then took a tentative sip. 'You?'
Sophie frowned. Her interrogation technique didn't seem to be working. 'What's wrong with bowling?'
'Besides having to put on a pair of shoes that a thousand other people have already worn?'
'Fair point.' Sophie smiled, then stirred her coffee as she wondered what to say next. After an awkward silence, 'Funny, though,' was the best she could come up with.
'What is?'
'Nathan.'
'What about him?'
'Organising Anti-Valentine's.'
'Funny ha ha, or funny peculiar?' asked Julie, breaking the muffin in half. She held out a piece, but Sophie reluctantly waved it away.
'Funny peculiar,' said Sophie. 'In that he's single. A good looking guy like him.'
'You think?'
Sophie frowned at her, trying not to salivate as Julie took a bite from her muffin. This was harder than she'd anticipated. Was Julie asking whether she thought Nathan was good looking, or that it was funny that he was single? 'I mean, it's strange, isn't it?' she continued. 'You work with someone, see them every day, but you don't have a clue what they're like. What their... Situation is.' She took a mouthful of cappuccino, then realised it was still ridiculously hot, and had to to pant-hoot like a monkey to cool the liquid down before she could even think about swallowing it.
'Maybe he's gay.'
Sophie almost spat the still-too-hot coffee out of her mouth in surprise at the prospect. 'Nathan? No, he can't be!'
'Why not?'
Sophie didn't like to say because he wouldn't be interested in you if he was. 'He just... No, I can't believe it. I mean, you can tell, can't you?'
Julie raised one eyebrow. 'Can you? In my experience, it's pretty hard sometimes.'
'Well, I'm pretty sure he's interested in women.'
'Why?'
'I've just... Seen stuff.'
Julie swallowed another piece of muffin. 'Stuff?' she said, licking chocolate crumbs from her fingers.
'Stuff that makes me think he wants a girlfriend.'
'He'd hardly be likely to organise this Anti-Valentine's night if he was after a girlfriend, would he?'
'Unless it's a clever double-bluff.' Sophie tapped the side of her nose conspiratorially, and was mortified to find a blob of chocolatey froth on the end of it.
Julie passed her a tissue from the box on her desk. 'Maybe.'
'Do you think he's gay?' Sophie asked, wiping her nose, then tossing the tissue into the waste bin in the corner.
Julie contemplated the question for a moment. 'Like I said. It can be hard to tell.' She took another sip of coffee. 'But I don't think so.'
'Right.' Sophie felt suddenly encouraged, then her heart sank, and she wanted to ask why Julie didn't think so, whether she had first-hand knowledge. Perhaps she'd made a mistake, and it had been Nathan she'd seen take Julie home after the Christmas party, not Mark, and maybe Nathan's card was some acknowledgement of that, but she held her tongue, worried that to probe any deeper would be overstepping the mark. 'So what do you think Nathan's problem is?'
Julie frowned. 'Problem?'
'You know – why he doesn't have a girlfriend. If, you know, he isn't...' She cleared her throat. 'Gay.'
Julie put her coffee down on her desk and popped the last of the muffin into her mouth. 'Search me,' she said, in between chews. 'Maybe there's something in his past. Maybe he's simply got his eye on someone.'
'Unrequited love?' Sophie sighed. 'How romantic,' she said, before realising if that was the case, and the object of his affections was the person sitting opposite, her job this evening would be even harder.
Julie smiled, and shook her head slowly. 'Whatever it is, Sophie, I wouldn't waste my time trying to get to the bottom of it.'
'No?' Sophie wondered whether she was trying to warn her off. 'Why not?'
'Because relationships can be...' J
ulie took a huge gulp of coffee. 'Complicated,' she said, cryptically.
Sophie noticed her boss had almost finished her latte now, and – worried the opportunity for their little chat might be coming to an end – decided to try a more direct approach. 'What would you do if it was him who'd sent you that card?'
There. She'd said it. And while she hoped Julie would treat the question as hypothetical, at the same time, she really wanted to know her answer.
'Nathan? Well...' Julie stuck her lower lip out contemplatively. 'Like you said, he is very good looking. But an office romance... Do they ever work?'
She stared at Sophie for a second or two, then turned back to her report, indicating the conversation was over, and Sophie felt slightly encouraged. Even if Nathan did fancy Julie, by the sound of things she'd rebuff any approach he made, leaving her in the perfect position to swoop in and pick up the pieces.
But later, as she replayed their conversation in her head, Sophie's smugness suddenly evaporated as she realised something. Despite Julie's earlier vagueness, and for all her rhetoric, her last statement had actually sounded like a genuine question.
Nathan waited until he was sure Calum had gone back upstairs, then he opened his drawer and stared at the envelope. He was pretty sure what must be inside, and also knew not opening it wouldn't make it go away, but even so, he couldn't quite bring himself to do the inevitable.
It was funny, he knew, how he'd been happy enough to deliver Mark's card to Julie, but the moment the focus had shifted onto him, he'd begun to feel uneasy - scared, even - when he should have been feeling flattered. So someone in the office liked him - big deal. And yet, it was a big deal.
He did a quick run-through of all the single women who worked at Seek, wondering who it might be, though to be honest, he felt it could have been any of them. And that wasn't being conceited – Nathan just couldn't tell if anyone was flirting with him nowadays. The whole Ellie experience had made him unable (though maybe 'unwilling' was a better description) to identify the signs, so he'd simply decided to close himself off emotionally. It had just been easier that way.
He knew what his problem was: The futility of it all. He'd spent three years with Ellie, trying to please her, getting to know her intimately, and yet it turned out he'd hardly known her at all, and Nathan didn't think he had the energy to go through all that again with someone new. Especially if he was only going to end up with the same result.
It wasn't that he hadn't been lonely. Of course he wanted a girlfriend - a wife, even – or at least some companionship, and sex, although he'd shied away from the couple of offers of one-night stands he'd had in the past few years. Because the trouble was, what did you do when you thought you'd found perfection - your soul mate - only to realise you couldn't have got it more wrong? And if Nathan couldn't trust his judgement about someone after two-and-a-half years, how, he wondered, could he possibly do it after five minutes?
Despite his cynicism, he'd been struck by how excited and apprehensive Calum had seemed about his date this evening, and as for Mark's nervousness where Julie was concerned - well, he'd teased him about it, of course, but in reality, he'd found that quite touching. And while at the same time Nathan had fought a wild urge to warn them they might be wasting their time, equally, ironically, he knew that was the only way love had a chance to develop – by wasting your time with someone else who maybe might like to waste theirs with you. And while he'd tried to spare himself the hurt he felt whenever he thought about Ellie by not allowing himself to even consider life with someone else, he knew that was short-sighted. Pathetic, too. Even Calum, who Nathan suspected would be crushed if this evening didn't work out, was prepared to put himself through potential heartbreak and humiliation in public, tonight of all nights, in search of happiness. And that last thought made him feel ashamed.
Then, to his surprise, and perhaps thanks to Calum and Mark's optimism, Nathan realised something: He needed to get a grip, if for no other reason than if he didn't, Ellie might spoil things for him forever. Once, a taxi had knocked him off his Vespa, and he'd known he had to get straight back on - otherwise he might never have been able to ride it again. And although Nathan knew you could hardly describe an abstinence of three years as 'getting straight back on', there was no time like the present.
He took a deep breath, removed the envelope from his drawer, and tore it open.
On the floor above, Mark Webster was staring intently at the Excel spreadsheet on his screen, and while the columns would normally make perfect sense to him, today the numbers were all a bit of a blur. He knew that was probably down to the constant self-inflicted interruptions he'd suffered, which had so far come to nothing: Julie hadn't been in the kitchen any of the five times he'd gone and made himself a cup of coffee he had no intention of drinking, nor had she walked past the photocopier when he'd been pretending to stock it with paper, visited the water cooler, gone to the toilet, or even been walking up and down the stairs during one of the numerous occasions he'd made his various journeys. She'd even failed to go out to buy her mid-morning muffin - an event he could usually set his watch by - and so far, his plan to casually bump into her and ask whether she'd had any Valentine's deliveries was failing.
He supposed he shouldn't be surprised. After all, what had he been expecting – that she'd somehow decipher his cryptic message, come down to his office, clear his desk with one sweep of a well-toned arm and demand he take her there and then? He leant back in his chair and rubbed his eyes wearily, then got up and paced around the room. Why hadn't he just written his name in the card? That way, at least he'd have known where he stood, rather than had to suffer this interminable waiting of – what had it been now? He looked at his watch. Two hours.
Mark knew his other option would have been to have referred to that fateful night directly, but seeing as Julie could be pretending not to remember it, that might not have been such a great plan. And if she really didn't, it may even have got him in trouble.
Maybe he'd got Valentine's Day all wrong. Perhaps, he mused, it was more of an event for existing couples, rather than for trying to 'woo' someone, though he almost laughed out loud at the word. How old did using it make him sound? And anyway, Mark wondered, maybe his plan to woo her was stupid - after all, he'd hardly wooed Julie before. She'd been drunk, jumped on him, and they'd kissed. That hardly ranked him up there alongside the great romantics.
It occurred to him that he could try that tactic again tonight. Engineer the seat next to her at Anti-Valentine's, offer her a couple of bowling pointers, and most importantly, buy her a couple of drinks, but on reflection, Mark decided getting Julie drunk wasn't such a great plan either. She hadn't remembered what had happened between them the last time she'd had a drink, so even if he did manage to kiss her, he'd be back to square one the next day. Though possibly even more frustrated.
No, Mark realised, this time he had to try romancing her. See whether throughout the course of today he could get Julie to start thinking about him in a different way, or even remind her about the Christmas party. That way, she'd be primed and ready at tonight's 'do', and then, if he did manage to pluck up the courage to ask her out, it wouldn't come as a complete surprise.
He sat back down and stared out of the window, trying to work out what it was they had in common, or which gesture or gift might jog her memory, and thought about sending something to her house, but that might be inappropriate - and she might be angry that he'd gotten her home address from the payroll file. Plus, he needed to do it today, or at least, before tonight.
But do what? Everything else Mark had tried since Christmas in order to make contact had failed up until now, from trying to mimic the events of that night by simply hanging around outside in the hope they might be heading in the same direction for lunch, to approving some rather spurious expenses for the last trade show she attended – nothing had provoked more than a cursory nod or a brief thank you. And he was beginning to run out of ideas.
Mark knew he was
being silly. He was twenty-seven years old, and head-over-heels about someone who seemed not to have the slightest idea how he felt about her. It was no way for a sensible adult to behave, and he was certainly a sensible adult - it was one of the things accountants were known for. He also knew he had to consider that perhaps Julie simply wasn't interested. Maybe she had been drunk, and even if she could remember what happened, she might simply be trying to forget the kiss. Perhaps she was embarrassed, or even worse, didn't fancy him, but Mark doubted that. He'd felt a real spark between the two of them, a sense of urgency in her kiss, as if she hadn't been kissed like that for a long, long time.
One thing he was sure of was that he didn't want to feel like this for much longer. The last seven weeks had been torture for him, and it had made work rather awkward too. He worried everyone in the office could tell what was going on from the way he looked at her. Everyone except Julie, that was.
He worried Nathan thought he was being pathetic. He'd only told him he liked her because he'd wanted to enlist his help, or at least get his opinion as to what he should do, even though Nathan perhaps wasn't the best person to ask for advice where matters of the heart were concerned. But Mark had been desperate, and while Nathan had been happy to listen - and even happier to help - when Mark had asked for his point of view, Nathan had just shrugged. 'Who knows what women want?' he'd said, and then he'd changed the subject.
But that was fine. Mark could probably guess what women wanted. They wanted to be romanced, as if every day was Valentine's Day, and romance was cards, and presents, and chocolates, and perhaps even a bit of mystery. Though seeing as his card hadn't worked, Mark knew he had to make that mystery a bit more obvious.
He peered around his office, searching for inspiration, then his gaze alighted on the stationery cupboard in the corner, and an idea suddenly struck him. Mark had the only key (oh, the responsibility!), and while yesterday's office supplies audit hadn't been the most exciting afternoon he'd ever spent, he had discovered a few items that had somehow found their way in there after the Christmas party.