by Matt Dunn
Ellie raised one eyebrow. 'Decaf?'
'What's wrong with that?'
She handed a few pound coins to the man behind the till, simultaneously waving Nathan's offer to pay away. 'I didn't know you drank decaf.'
Nathan shrugged. He hadn't, back when they were together, regarding it in the same light as non-alcoholic beer, or diet Coke, or kissing without tongues - in his opinion, all of those things were worse for having had their key ingredient removed. But now he could see that at times, all you needed was the taste, without any of the after-effects.
'So,' she said, as they waited for their coffees. 'How are things?'
Nathan considered the question. It was a pretty innocuous one, he supposed, even though he couldn't think how on earth to respond. 'Fine,' was what he eventually settled for. 'You?'
'Good. Work's really busy. We've just landed this huge new account, and the client wants us to make a big splash by...' She smiled. 'Well, I'm sure you don't want to hear about the intricacies of PR.'
Nathan shrugged. 'I don't mind. As long as you'll let me bore you afterwards with how I upgraded our office system to Windows 7 last weekend.'
'Point taken.' Ellie rolled her eyes. 'You and computers. I still haven't forgiven you about that Facebook thing. That was one page I didn't 'like'.'
As the barista placed their drinks on the counter, Nathan stared at her incredulously. Ellie looked like she was trying not to smile, so he couldn't tell whether she was being serious, but then he supposed he shouldn't be surprised. He'd never been able to tell if she was being serious in the many arguments they'd had over the stupidest things when they'd lived together, and he certainly hadn't been able to tell she wasn't serious about him. But surely she couldn't think what he'd done in changing her status update was worse than her infidelity?
'Well, I haven't forgiven you for cheating on me with what's-his-name,' he said, picking up their coffees and carrying them over to a nearby table. 'So we're even.'
'People I knew saw that status update. My boss. Clients.'
'Was it wrong?'
'Of course it was.'
'I meant the facts. Not what I did.'
'Come on, Nathan. That's in the past.'
'It might be for you...'
'It should be for you, too.'
'Well, that's easy for you to say. You've got...' Nathan frowned as they sat down. What was his name?
Ellie couldn't meet his eyes. 'I don't, actually.'
'What do you mean?'
She turned to stare out of the window. 'We split up.'
'When?'
'A couple of months ago,' she said, ripping open a sachet of sweetener and pouring the contents into her cup.
'Oh.' Nathan tried to keep his voice level as he passed her a stirrer. 'I'm sorry.'
'Yeah. He...' Ellie looked directly at him. 'He'd met someone else.'
'Ellie, that's...' Nathan struggled to find a different word to 'fantastic'. 'Terrible. Are you OK?'
She nodded. 'I suppose you think it's funny.'
'Not funny, exactly. Just, well...' To tell the truth, Nathan wasn't sure what he felt about it. On the one hand, this was revenge – and unlike changing Ellie's Facebook status, not one that he had to feel bad about getting. But on the other hand, he knew how much this kind of thing hurt, and he wouldn't wish that kind of hurt on anybody. 'Ironic, I suppose.'
Ellie stirred her coffee slowly. 'Is that why you're here, today of all days? To dredge this all up again?'
Nathan shook his head. 'Not at all. I was just passing by accident. I assumed you'd be long gone by now. And in fact, you were the one who mentioned it.'
'Sorry.' She nudged him. 'As you should be for telling the world I was having an affair.'
'Don't tell me you want me to apologise?'
Her eyes flicked up at his, and she half-smiled. 'I suppose not.'
He picked up his coffee, and sipped it thoughtfully. 'You know the funny thing? It wasn't the cheating and the lying that really bugged me.'
Ellie looked surprised. 'It wasn't?'
'Well, maybe a little. It was more... How did I get it so wrong?'
'How do you mean?'
'I wanted to marry you, and I thought you might feel the same way. How did I misread the signs?'
Ellie smiled, and took his hand, and Nathan had to stop himself from flinching. 'If you remember, there weren't any signs. That's how I got away with it.'
'Yes, but...'
'Nathan, there wasn't anything to get wrong. Maybe it was just bad timing. We were young. People change. And I knew I still had some changing to do.'
'But why were you seeing... Him? When you knew I loved you. Wanted to be with you. For the rest of my life.'
'I suppose because I was scared.'
'Scared?'
Ellie nodded vigorously. 'You don't think it's scary? The rest of anyone's life... It's a long time. I wasn't sure you weren't right for me, but equally, I wasn't sure you were. And how was I going to be sure - say 'yes' to you, then hope for the best?' She sighed. 'And then Chas came along...'
Chas, thought Nathan. Thank you.
'...and I was flattered by the attention. And equally, in some perverse kind of way, I thought it might make me more sure about how I felt about you. About us.'
'And it did, didn't it?'
'Yes, actually. You were offering me forever. Chas was a bit of fun. And back then, I wanted fun.'
'We were having fun. We could have had more fun. Being married might have been fun.'
Ellie leant forward in her chair. 'But it might not have been. And that's what I was worried about. Particularly if it was going to be for the rest of my life.'
Nathan picked his coffee up, then put it straight back down again. 'So you went off with him because you were worried about us?'
She shook her head. 'No, Nathan. Because I was worried about me.'
'But to just go with him, to leave so abruptly, and cut me off like you did...'
'What would you have preferred - that I kept on seeing Chas behind your back? The only thing I knew was I couldn't possibly find the right person if I was still hanging on to the wrong one...'
'Ouch.'
'I didn't mean it like that.'
'Basically, you're saying the problem was me, right?'
Ellie looked at him imploringly, as if needing him to understand. 'It was both of us, Nathan. People are complex. Different. So what are the chances of meeting someone who feels the same way about you, while feeling the same way you do about everything else, at the exact same time you do?'
'Loads of people do. Or at least, they think they do.'
'And more than half of them get divorced. What was I going to do – marry you, knowing that eventually we'd make each other miserable and just become just another statistic, and maybe have wasted the best years of our lives on something that was always likely to end in tears?' She sighed. 'I was twenty-seven. I didn't want to get married.'
'To me.'
'To anyone. Until recently, that was. But he didn't want to marry me. So I suppose I got my just desserts.'
Ellie stared into her cup, and Nathan was surprised to find himself feeling sorry for her. Eventually, he smiled. 'If it's any consolation, you do get over it. In time.'
'Really? How long does it take, exactly?'
Nathan decided not to answer, though he found himself thinking that three years should just about cover it.
'It's funny,' continued Ellie. 'I knew you'd understand.'
'Yes, well, that's only because you did the same thing to me, remember?'
'Yes, Nathan,' she said. 'I remember.'
They regarded each other for a moment, then Nathan picked his cup up and held it out towards her. 'Happy Valentine's Day, Ellie.'
Ellie returned the gesture, and they clinked cups across the table. 'Happy Valentine's Day,' she said, then she seemed to be considering something for a moment. 'Listen, did you... No. Forget it.'
'What?'
'I was j
ust thinking. I'm not doing anything this evening - obviously - and if you weren't...'
Nathan looked at her levelly. For the last three years, he'd wondered what he'd say if Ellie ever wanted him back. And while this was hardly the same thing, he was shocked he wasn't leaping at the chance to at least spend a few hours with her.
'I can't,' he said, eventually. 'I'm busy.'
'Oh really?' He could hear what sounded like disappointment in her voice. 'What are you doing?'
'I'm sorry. That was a little insensitive of me. Nothing like that. We're just going out. A few of us. From the office.' He decided not to mention the Anti-Valentine's concept. 'Bowling.'
'Ah, bowling.'
'Your favourite.'
Ellie made a face, then she drained the last of her espresso. 'I suppose I should let you get going, then.'
He glanced at his watch. 'I suppose.'
'Nice watch, by the way.'
'Thanks. A friend bought it for me.'
She widened her eyes. 'So we're friends now?'
Nathan nodded, then leaned across the table and kissed her on the cheek, and for the first time in three years, was able to smell her perfume without the usual cloying feeling of nostalgia. 'Friends,' he said.
He walked her to the bus stop, then climbed onto his bike and accelerated away down the street without looking back. While they'd parted as friends, Nathan suspected the truth was he'd never see her again. And while at one time in his life, the thought of that would have been the worst thing in the world, today, Nathan realised, he was pretty okay with it.
Sophie Jones was sitting in the corridor outside the X-Ray department, patiently waiting for her turn, while simultaneously trying to ignore the drunken advances of a wild-haired old man sitting opposite. She was still wearing the green gown, clutching tightly on to it to make sure she didn't flash her underwear at anyone else, and while her foot was feeling a little better, she still didn't dare try and put her weight on it.
Eventually the radiologist came and wheeled her inside, and gently lifted her foot up onto the machine, then retired behind a thick glass window as he took her X-Ray. This was what it had come to, Sophie mused, men hiding from her behind protective screens, though she suspected where Nathan was concerned, she'd be the one hiding from him at work tomorrow.
Maybe she wouldn't go in. Perhaps she had broken her foot. There was no way she could get into work wearing a plaster cast. so she'd just have to phone in sick... Sophie sighed. Even if she did that, she'd have to face him eventually. And besides, who'd be there to look after her at home?
As the radiologist wheeled her back into the corridor, it occurred to Sophie that maybe she should go home home, back to Eastbourne, and stay with her parents while her foot healed. Some time away from London might even do her good. Perhaps Darren would come and visit her. Maybe they could even be friends - in the real world, if not on Facebook. Though the danger of that, she knew, was that she might decide not to come back.
The radiologist reappeared and handed her a brown envelope containing her X-Ray, and as the nurse wheeled her back to her cubicle, Sophie couldn't ignore the irony - of all the envelopes to be receiving on Valentine's Day, this was hardly what she'd had in mind. She wondered whether it was safe to get dressed, but didn't want to be caught in her underwear again, so decided to stay as she was. After a few minutes, she heard Doctor Jonesh shout 'knock knock' as before, then he walked tentatively in through the curtain.
'How do you feel?'
Sophie thought for a moment. Lonely was the first word that leapt to mind, followed, by desperate, until she realised he was probably referring to her foot. 'A bit better. Still a little sore, though.'
He nodded at the envelope. 'Is that for me?'
'It's my X-Ray.'
'I didn't think it was a birthday card.'
'No.' Sophie handed it over. 'Of course.'
Doctor Jonesh slipped the X-Ray out from the envelope, then stuck it up on the lightbox on the wall. 'So, what had you been doing?' he said, studying the black and white image.
'Bowling.'
'On Valentine's Day? That's not very romantic.'
Sophie shrugged. 'It was kind of an office thing.'
'Was that your boyfriend who brought you in?'
'No. Just a friend.' Sophie held her breath, and watched Doctor Jonesh closely, waiting for a response to what she'd just said, though at the same time, she knew she couldn't count on Nathan still being her friend after today. Not that he'd really been her friend beforehand.
'That's good,' he said, after a pause so long Sophie worried she was turning blue.
She gulped in a lungful of air. 'It is?' she said, hopefully. Maybe the lingerie had worked its magic after all. Just on a different person.
'Yes. If you look here, at the metatarsals...' Doctor Jonesh was referring to a part of the X-Ray, Sophie realised despondently, not expressing an interest in her lack of a boyfriend. 'You'll see there's no break.'
'No break. Right.' Sophie feigned interest in the blurry monochrome image, though she was sure the same wouldn't have been true if he'd been examining an X-Ray of her heart. 'So what's the diagnosis?'
Doctor Jonesh took the X-Ray down from the lightbox and slipped it back inside the envelope. 'Just bruising,' he said. 'I'll give you some anti-inflammatories and pain killers to take for the next few days. Oh, and you should be careful about putting any weight on...'
'You think I should go on a diet?' interrupted Sophie.
'Putting any weight on your foot, I meant. Don't worry. From what I saw... I mean, you look...' Doctor Jonesh blushed again, and Sophie smiled up at him from her wheelchair, and for the briefest of seconds, wondered if they were perhaps having a moment. Though she knew her judgement wasn't really to be trusted regarding that kind of thing.
'Listen, I'm really sorry about earlier,' Doctor Jonesh continued. 'Here.' He reached into his jacket pocket, then handed her his business card.
'What's this for?' said Sophie, amazed at his forwardness.
'If you want to make a formal complaint, these are my details.' He picked up a clipboard from the bed, and started making some notes on it. 'There are some forms at reception. Just fill one in and give it back to the receptionist.'
'Oh.' Sophie's heart sank again. 'That's okay. No harm done. And besides, how could I, when it's your birthday?'
Doctor Jonesh smiled gratefully. 'Only for another few hours, thank goodness.'
'You don't like birthdays?'
'Not when I have to work on them.'
Sophie turned the card over in her hand, and something occurred to her. If this was the only card she was going to get this Valentine's Day, then she wasn't going to let the opportunity pass her by. This, she suspected, was one of those 'scruff of the neck' moments, and she knew she had to grab it.
'Well, in that case...' Sophie took a deep breath. 'What time do you finish work?'
Doctor Jonesh glanced up at the clock on the wall. 'In about half an hour. Why?'
'Because I thought you might let me buy you a birthday drink, if you don't have any other plans. And if it wouldn't be, you know, hypocritical.'
Doctor Jonesh looked puzzled. 'Oh,' he said. 'You mean if it's not against my Hippocratic oath?'
Sophie shrugged. 'Something like that.'
Doctor Jonesh regarded her for a moment, and then he nodded. 'That would be lovely,' he said, breaking into a smile.
As he backed out of the cubicle, Sophie cleared her throat. 'Can I get dressed now?' she said.
Doctor Jonesh hesitated for a millisecond, then he nodded. 'Well, we can hardly go for a drink with you looking like that, can we? And you won't be getting plastered.'
'That depends how many drinks we...' Sophie stopped, mid-sentence. 'You meant my foot, didn't you?'
He smiled again. 'I'll get the nurse to put a support bandage on for you. It should be easier for you when you want to, you know...'
'Take it off?'
'Exactly.'
&n
bsp; Their eyes met again, but this time Doctor Jonesh didn't look away, and somehow at that moment, Sophie knew Nathan had been right that morning. Tonight was going to be the start of something special.
To her shame, Julie Marshall's first reaction when she spotted Mark Webster walking along the pavement towards her was to hide, or rather, her first reaction was to swear under her breath, and then she'd looked around for a place to hide. But hiding would have been immature, she told herself, and although she hadn't behaved particularly like a responsible adult where Mark was concerned, she'd been hiding from him ever since the Christmas party, and to duck behind the nearest parked car now would be taking that a little too far. Besides, by the way Mark seemed to be staring dejectedly at his feet as he made his way back towards the station, she could have stood right where she was and he'd probably have walked straight past. And things having reached the point they evidently had, Julie knew she couldn't let that happen.
'Mark,' she said, as he drew near, then 'Mark,' a little louder.
As he looked up, she could see the pain in his eyes, but he didn't stop walking, so after a second, Julie hurried to catch Mark up, then fell into step beside him. She couldn't think what to say, so decided not to say anything, but as they neared the station, she realised this tactic wasn't working.
'Can I explain?'
'No need.' Mark couldn't bring himself to look at her. 'Your husband's already told me everything I need to know.'
Julie swore to herself again. 'Mark, he's... I mean... Philip and I... We're...' She shook her head. Until she knew what Philip had said, she wasn't sure what her approach should be.
'Seriously. Don't bother.'
Mark kept his eyes fixed on the pavement, still wondering how he could have got it so wrong, and did his best to ignore Julie as he considered his options. There was nothing for him here now, that was clear, and while going back home to his empty flat wasn't particularly appealing, he didn't think he had anywhere else to go. Deciding he needed some distance, he broke into a jog, forgetting for a moment that Julie had been training for the marathon. In a matter of seconds, she was at his shoulder.
'I can keep this up all day,' she said, eventually.
Mark couldn't. He was already breathing heavily, but fortunately they'd nearly reached the station, so after a few more desperate yards, he fished in his pocket for his Oyster card, then turned to face her. 'Enjoy the rest of your Valentine's Day,' he puffed, then he swiped himself through the barrier without looking back.