by Kaci Rose
"What is it?" I ask.
"Okay, don't kill the messenger. I'm just as unhappy about this as you are, but I have to tell you because it's my job," Wren says and holds his hands up like I'm going to lunge at him. "The studio wants you and the cast to make an appearance at a club tomorrow night."
"No," I growl.
"It's not exactly negotiable."
"You're right. It's not. No." I walk into the kitchen.
"Kade, you don't have a choice." Wren sighs.
"Yes, I do. They wanted a family man, someone more stable. I got this job on those merits. But they don't believe I've changed and want to throw me back into that life? Why?"
Wren pours himself a glass of whiskey but doesn't say anything.
"I can tell you why. When Playboy Kade Markson makes headlines for yet another indiscretion, it's free promotion for their movie. I won't do it. They can replace me if they want." I throw some leftovers into the oven to warm up and turn back to him.
"You don't mean that," Wren says.
"Yeah, I do. I'm done with people telling me what I need to do and controlling me. I'm not going. You can tell the studio I said to fuck off, in whatever fancy wording you want. Don't forget. You work for me."
"Kade. I'm on your side. My job is to keep you and the studio happy. Keeping them happy so they cast you in more parts and make us both more money. I’ll talk to them."
Wren doesn't say anything more until we sit at the table, and he's pulling out plates full of Italian food from a mom-and-pop place nearby. The one thing I missed most while at the Sunrise Inn.
"You're different since you been back," Wren says.
"Different how?" I ask.
"Not happy. Grumpy. Angry with everything."
I nod and don't say anything because really, what can I say?
"You were happy in the inn. I heard it in your voice. I hadn't heard you that happy in years."
"What's your point?" I ask.
"I'm saying this as your friend because lord knows as your manager, I'd just tell you to buck up and play your part so we can get paid. But people change. Priorities change. If you aren't happy here anymore, there is a reason, and maybe it's time to figure it out," Wren says.
My mind plays over his words as he finishes eating and heads out. I have changed. Lin changed me, Hummingbird Island changed me, and every one of the locals changed me.
I try to push the thoughts from my head and go over my lines for tomorrow. No matter what I feel, I still have a job to do.
It's barely lunchtime. We have been filming for about four hours, and I can't stop comparing everyone and how fake they are to how real the people were in Seaview, how real Lin and Brynn were.
"Kade! We heard you weren't coming to the club tonight, but that can't be true. You never miss a chance to go and have fun and scope out that night prize, right?" This bubbly blonde attaches herself to my arm.
She is exactly the type of girl I'd have gone for in my playboy days, but now all I can think about is how her lips have been injected with something, and her tits are fake.
Her touching me makes my skin crawl, but most of all, how after a year and all the press, still no one thinks I've changed. I don't know what else I could do to prove it.
I wasn't lying when I said I was thinking of asking Lin to marry me. If I could find a way to make it work, I'd ask her in a heartbeat. Then Wren's words flash through my mind.
If you aren't happy here anymore, there is a reason, and maybe it's time to figure it out.
I know I'm miserable because Lin isn't here. She believed in me and saw me for me, not a meal ticket or a good time. When was the last time someone saw me like her? My parents? Has it really been that long?
"Kade, my man." One of the PAs approaches me. "We are doing a photo shoot for promotional material later today in the press room."
I nod, and he walks off. I take a deep breath and get back on set, but all I can think about is Lin. How I wish she was standing in the shadows watching. How I want to show her off and give her a tour of the studio.
It's so bad I mess up almost every single line, get cursed out by not only my costar but my director before they call it to go do the photo shoot.
I think about calling Lin and checking in, seeing how things are going, just to hear her voice, but somehow, I think hearing her voice would make things worse, make me crave her, need her more.
If I thought the day on the set was bad today, that has nothing on this photo shoot. They want me bare-chested with the romantic interest hanging all over me. They want her pressed up against me wearing almost nothing. After the fourth pose, I push her away.
"I can't do this anymore. It's still early enough. You need to recast me." I turn to the director. "I'm not sure why you needed me to be a family man only to turn around and advertise me as a playboy still, but this isn't going to work for me. I quit. Send the contract to my lawyer and I'll pay the fees to break the contract."
Then I turn and walk toward the parking lot, texting my driver that I'm on my way. I feel better and lighter with each step I take away from the set.
Just like every day on the way home, I pull up the inns' social media pages and flip through only, there isn't anything new today, and none of the posts with #TheKadeMarksonExperience have Lin.
I throw my phone down and lean back in my seat and close my eyes, pulling up one of our walks on the beach. Her hand in mine. Memories of watching the sunrise and how peaceful I felt.
I get home and walk around my house, looking at it with fresh eyes. Not one room in this place is me. I didn't decorate it; some designer did. There are photos and some memorabilia that I bought, but really, none of it is me.
Trying to find that calm I had just a few short weeks ago, I grab my keys and drive a few minutes down to the beach. Taking off my shoes, I head to the shoreline and start walking.
The sand is different, darker, grainier, and not filled with as many shells. The water is warmer, there are no sharks' teeth or sea glass to be found, and it all feels so wrong. There is nothing calm and relaxing here.
I try to clear my head, but after walking twenty minutes in one direction, I give up and head back toward my car in defeat. It wasn't just the beach that was so calming. I think I always knew that. It was the place; it was Lin.
The problem is, I don't know how to get back there. I should never have walked away the way I did. I should have had one last dinner with her, stayed, and said goodbye. Made love to her and kissed her one last time that night. I screwed up more than just leaving could ever have.
That night I toss and turn, and when I finally fall asleep, I'm dreaming of Lin and me living in her house, the house she grew up in. Kids running down the hall to wake us up in the morning. Dinners at the dining room table, Christmases in the living room, and summers spent at the inn running it together.
I wake up in a cold sweat because I saw it all clear as day, and now, I'm back in Hollywood, back in my lonely house, back to a life without Lin, and I know this isn't what I want.
I want the life I saw in my dreams tonight. I want to run the inn with her, raise a family in her parents' house, and be part of the community that welcomed me with open arms simply because I made Lin happy.
I want to be surrounded by people I trust and can rely on. I want to sit on the porch during the storms with the girls and catch Josh while he is metal detecting after the storm. I want date nights walking Main Street. I want to be by Lin's side when she presents her case to save Main Street to the state.
Now, how the hell do I make it happen?
Chapter 33
Linly
I smile at yet another group of girls checking in for the weekend.
"Oh my gosh, it really is you!" She holds her phone open to a photo of Kade and me on the beach.
"Yeah. What name is your reservation under?" I ask politely.
It's been like this for a few weeks now. It's almost a perfect script. A group of girls come to check in and compare me t
o a photo from Kade's social media. Then during check-in, they make sure that they are staying in the same room Kade stayed in.
When I reassure them they are, they let out a squeal and a giggle. Sometimes there is bouncing up and down. Then one will ask what he did while here, and I hand them the paper Brynn thought to make and insisted I hand it out.
The Kade Markson Experience is at the top with a hashtag to tag photos and a list of things he did, including watching the sunrise on the balcony, walking the beach, and eating dinner at Sunset. There is a list of places he visited in town, and the townspeople he talked to, what he ate from the bakery, and the restaurant are on the list.
On cue, the blonde asks, "Where is Kade now? What is he doing?"
I have a generic answer for this too. "He's back in LA and just started filming his new movie. He was really excited about it."
They then talk about the movie and ask me questions I don't have answers to.
Sometimes they will ask to take a photo with me before they head up to the suite.
Jasper is still cooking at the Sunset. Brynn has explained what is going on to me, but it's all been a haze. Everywhere I turn, there is Kade. I can't get rid of him.
Once the group has gone up to their room, I collapse on the chair behind the check-in desk.
"To be young and have that much energy again." Dale smiles at me.
"I don't think I ever had that much energy." I shake my head.
Dale laughs. "You were fourteen when I started here, and you were a bundle of energy. Always in and out. Your dad would have you run errands. Paper here or there to try to tire you out. It may not have seemed like it, but when you are young and carefree with the world in front of you, you have all the energy in the world. When responsibilities start weighing and dragging you down is when you lose it." He gives me a sad smile.
I know what he's saying. I lost my energy the day my parents died. And he's right.
"Well, I better find it. I have the first round of seasonal employees coming in today, and I have to catch them up on The Kade Markson Experience," I say and don't stop the eye roll this time.
At least once a day, I find myself feeling bad that I'm using him to make money and market the inn, but then I remember this is what we agreed on. He made it clear and kept up his end of the agreement, so I need to keep up mine.
I head to my office and make sure I have the packets ready for the summer staff before going into the event room that we have set up as a mixer so they can get to know each other. There will be a dinner buffet and some nonalcoholic drinks, and then they can sit at the tables while going over the new information. Then spend as much time mingling as they want before heading back to their bunks down the road.
As I walk into the room, I'm hit with memories of Kade turning this room into a club for me. His pressing me against him, and suddenly, I can't breathe. I try to sit on one of the chairs when suddenly, arms are wrapped around me.
"Hey. What's wrong?" Jasper's worried eyes search mine.
All I can do is shake my head and bury my face in my hands.
"It's going to be okay, Lin Lin," Jasper says, using the name he's called me since we were kids.
"You don't even know the truth," I tell him.
"Brynn told me. You had a deal with Kade, but I saw you two. I know it may have started as an agreement, but it was so much more," Jasper says in a soft voice.
I nod again and try to fight back the tears.
"Okay, Brynn is going to take over tonight's presentation, and you are going to get the hell off the island. I don't care what you do but get away from all the memories. Then when the restaurant closes at ten, you will meet Brynn and me in her room, and we will get it all out and bury it away and kick off the season with one hell of a hangover, okay?" Jasper stands and holds his hand out to me.
I just laugh and nod. "Okay, I will go tell Brynn..."
"No, you go. I will tell her," he says firmly.
Looking him over, I know I'm missing something. Maybe I should have paid more attention when Brynn has been talking. I sigh. I'm a horrible friend.
"Okay. See you tonight."
I head out and grab my purse and my keys and just drive. I point my car west and roll down the windows and drive along the coast, not really paying attention until I end up in Bath. This is where my parents used to bring me when we'd spend a day off the island. My mom loved to tour the historic buildings, my dad would want to try out all the food, and I wanted to hit the shops and beg for new toys or clothes as I got older.
We would spend the day here, then come back to the island refreshed and ready to take on new guests. Maybe it was my parents leading me here. Reminding me of the best way to relax.
I hit my mom's favorite historic house and do the tour and remember the time with my mom and the way her eyes would sparkle at this or that. Then I head into my dad's favorite barbecue place, grab an early dinner, and end my day by walking the shops.
I have managed to forget all about Kade and my freak-out earlier today until I walk into the shop, and the girl behind the counter, who is on her phone, looks up, and her eyes go wide. I look behind me, thinking something is going on, but when I glance back at her, her eyes are on me.
"Oh. Em. Gee. You're Lin, the girl Kade Markson dated! Oh my god, my friends will never believe me."
Great, I can't even get a break from Kade out of town. I try to paste on my best smile, but she keeps talking.
"Of all the shops here, you walk into this one. It's fate! Can I get a photo?" she asks.
Here I thought I was getting one day without having to pose. But hey, this is what I signed up for, right?
"Yeah." I smile the best I can and pose for her photo.
"Do you want me to tag you in the photo?" she asks.
"Oh, I don't have a personal account. Tag the Sunrise Inn," I tell her.
It's true, I deleted my personal account when news broke of Kade and me, and people started flooding it. Better to put the attention on the inn.
I browse the store as she follows me and asks questions. All of which I've heard before. Is he as nice in person as he seems on TV? Is he as tall/short/muscular in person? Is he a good kisser or good in bed? What is his favorite food? What music does he listen to?
I have answers prepared for each question and fire them off almost without thinking as I slowly make my way out of the store. Once back in the fresh air, I head right back to my car. My day of relaxation is gone.
I drive slowly back to the inn, almost dreading heading back for the first time ever. I crank up the music and try to push the salesgirl out of my mind. I get back to the inn just after nine o'clock at night and head right to Brynn's room. She should be finished with the presentation by now and wrapping up dinner at Sunset.
I collapse on her bed and just wait.
I stare up at the white ceiling and clear my head. I think of nothing but making patterns in the ceiling like we used to do with the clouds in the sky.
"Ah, looks like she beat us here." Jasper's voice fills the air as he and Brynn enter the room. I sit up and watch as Brynn carries in junk food, and Jasper has the alcohol.
"How was your day? What did you do?" Bryn asks.
"I went into Bath and did the stuff my parents used to take me to do. I was having a good time until the last store I walked into. The girl recognized me, wanted a photo, and played twenty questions when I couldn't get out of the store fast enough." I sigh and flop back on the bed.