My brow furrowed. “What… what do you mean?”
“Would you like to have a threesome? With me? Specifically, with me and Tanner?”
I stared at him for a long time before his words finally made sense in my head. He wanted to have a threesome with me and Tanner. With Tanner and me. On the one hand, it was a chance for all my dreams to come true—quite literally—on the other hand, was he not as happy with our relationship as I was? Was this just some sort of fling to him? Was he so unhappy with our sex life that he wanted to bring in another man? One who was probably more experienced and knew a lot more about sex than me? Did he even still want to be with me? Did he just want sex now? What was going on? Was I not enough for him?
I pulled my hand out of his grasp and stood up from the table, grabbing my plate and carrying it into my kitchen. I scraped all of the food into the trash, then set the plate in the sink and leaned against the counter. I heard Jax following me; I knew he was behind me, but I didn’t think I could look at him right now without bursting into tears.
“Sy? What’s going on in that head of yours? You need to talk to me, pumpkin.”
I squeezed my eyes tighter at that. He called me pumpkin all the time. I thought that meant something. I thought I meant something to him. Suddenly, his hands landed on my upper arms, and he pulled me back against his chest. He rubbed my arms and whispered into my ear, “Please talk to me.”
I took a deep breath and whispered back, “Am I not enough for you?”
I heard him gasp and grunt at the same time and before I knew it, he was turning me in his arms and cupping my cheeks so I was forced to look him in his green eyes. “That’s not what this is about at all, Sy. We don’t have to do it if it makes you uncomfortable. And I promise you that it won’t make me care about you any less or want you any less. I’m in this—me and you—one hundred percent. This isn’t a decision to be taken lightly, and it’s not something you need to answer right now. It in no way reflects my feelings for you, except for the fact that I care about you, and I want you to be happy and have a good time when you’re with me, okay? And if you’re not into the idea, then I’ll drop it and we never have to worry about it again, okay? I only asked because… I know you’re attracted to Tanner and I—”
“Just because I think he’s good looking doesn’t mean I want to sleep with him.”
“I know that, pumpkin. And I know that you wouldn’t cheat on me. I trust you. It’s just that I’ve been in a couple relationships where we brought a third into the bedroom every now and then when we were feeling adventurous. I’ve been in monogamous relationships before, too, so it’s not like it’s something I have to have or anything like that. I just thought it might be fun if it was something you’d want to do.”
I absorbed everything he said, and I could tell he was being sincere. He just thought it would be fun. He thought it would be something fun for us to do together. After thinking for a few minutes, I asked, “Is this something you and Tanner would do when you two were dating?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
“Like, you just… invited a guy into your bed sometimes?”
He bit the inside of his cheek for a few seconds. “Yes. Sometimes, we would have a guy over so we could sleep with him. Usually it was a one-night-stand, but every once in a while, we’d ask the guy to come back again. It was just for fun.”
“So you’ve done this a lot?”
He shrugged a shoulder and kinda cringed, then blew out a breath. “Yes.”
I blew out my own breath. I couldn’t decide if that made it better or worse. “Did you already talk to Tanner about this?”
“God, no. I would never do that to you, pumpkin. I’ve been thinking about it all week, and I wanted to see what you thought. I’d never talk to him about something that affects our relationship. This is about me and you, not him, okay? In fact, if you wanted to try to find someone else, that would be okay with me, too. I just figured we’d both be more comfortable with Tanner. I was serious when I said that I’m good either way, and that I’m in this thing with you, no matter what, okay? Me and you, Symon Daniel Traux. Me and you against the world, pumpkin.”
“Do you really mean that, Jax?”
He grabbed my face and kissed my lips, then rubbed his nose against mine a few times until I smiled. He smiled back and whispered, “Abso-fucking-lutely, Sy. You and me first before anything or anyone else. No matter what your answer is, that won’t change for me, I promise.” He kissed my lips. “Let’s go to bed. You can let me know what you think after you’ve slept on it. Or take a few days, however long you need.”
I nodded.
He reached down and grabbed the back of my thighs. “Come here.” I jumped up like I knew he wanted, and he held me securely as he carried me to bed while kissing the hell out of me.
When he fucked me long and hard that night, he showed me how much I meant to him, but I couldn’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like if we’d had Tanner there with us. Jax held me in his arms afterward and placed soft, tender kisses all over me while murmuring sweet nothings in my ear. He made me feel wanted; he made me feel like he cared about me. He made me believe him about wanting me no matter what, about having a threesome just being something fun to do.
After he fell asleep, I stared at him as I thought about how much fun we could have with Tanner. I’d never really done anything adventurous in my life—sexual or otherwise—and it’d been a pretty boring life before I met Jax. So maybe… maybe now was the time to do something adventurous, something out of my comfort zone. I’d thought about Jax and Tanner and me a million times before, but this time was different because there was a possibility of it really happening. But did I want it to?
Jax
I woke up with Symon in my arms again and sighed into the back of his neck. Last night, he’d scared me. I’d thought he was going to run from me after I’d asked him about having sex with Tanner. Thank god he’d stayed and talked it out with me. I hadn’t been lying to him when I’d said that it was me and him before anyone else. No matter how much I still cared about Tanner, what I felt for Symon was real, and it was deep and it was now. I was reluctant to use the L word so soon, but it was definitely swaying in that direction. If we kept going strong the way we’d been, I had no doubt that I’d fall completely for him.
Symon suddenly turned in my arms to face me. I hadn’t even known he was awake. He looked me in the eyes and ran his fingertips over my cheek, making me smile and kiss them. He put his hand on my biceps and whispered, “Promise me something.”
“Okay,” I whispered back.
“Promise me you won’t suddenly change your mind and leave me out, or that if you do, you’ll break it off with me and not string me along, or—”
I cut him off with a kiss. “That’s not going to happen, pumpkin.”
“But you and Tanner have a history. I don’t want to feel like the third wheel.”
I ran my hand through his hair and cupped his cheek. “I meant it when I said that it’s me and you against the world, okay?”
He nodded a little and smiled. “Okay. I believe you.”
I smiled back and kissed his lips. “Good.”
“I want to do it.”
I leaned back to look at his face. “You mean…?”
He nodded again. “I want to have a threesome with you and Tanner.”
Flutters went crazy in my stomach. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
A slow smile spread across my face. “Really?”
He laughed a little. “Yes. I just… I was scared when you asked last night, but honestly, I’ve been dreaming about the two of you… with me.”
I smirked. “Oh yeah? Tell me more about these dreams.”
His eyes widened. “What? No way.”
“Oh, come on, Sy. If you tell me, maybe I can make them happen.”
He shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I’m not telling you. It’s too embarrassing.”
I stuck out my bottom lip at him. “No, it’s not.”
He sighed. “You don’t even know if Tanner will be on board with this plan.”
I pursed my lips. “Yeah, I know, but for some reason, I really think he will be.”
Sy nodded. “He likes you.”
I nudged him. “He likes you too.”
“This is just going to be sex, though, right?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“You should call him and… do we need to take him out on a date or something?”
I laughed. “I guess we can? Do you want to?”
He thought for a few seconds. “Yeah, let’s take him on a date, ask him, and hopefully end the date on a high note?”
I smiled and kissed his lips. “That sounds perfect.”
Chapter Eight
Tanner
When I got to the restaurant, Jax and Symon were already there. I didn’t know why I was so nervous, but maybe it was because Symon had been weird around me all day today while we were at work, and now this felt a lot like a date. The three of us sat at a table and after we placed our food orders, I buttered a roll and looked at Symon. “Are you okay?”
Symon seemed to snap out of his daze, and he looked at me in surprise. “Yeah, I’m fine.” His voice was entirely too tight for that to be true, but I didn’t call him out on it since Jax was right there. Maybe if we were on the rig together I would’ve asked him, but not now, not right here. I watched Jax grab Symon’s hand and squeeze it as he leaned in close and whispered in Symon’s ear. Symon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened those grey eyes and looked right at me, my breath caught. I stared at him, and he stared at me for a long time. I was caught in the spell of those grey eyes that always held so many emotions. He was just so beautiful, inside and out. I would do almost anything for a chance at holding him or hugging him, kissing him, licking him, fucking him. I almost groaned out loud at the thought. But then I saw the worry in Symon’s eyes, and suddenly, all I wanted to do was pull him into my arms and never let him go.
Stop thinking like that, man. He’s off limits!
Jax brought my attention to him when he spoke. “We wanted to ask you something, Tanner.”
I reluctantly looked away from Symon to see Jax with a knowing smirk on his face. There was no doubt in my mind that he knew exactly what I’d been thinking about. I licked my lips. “What about?”
Jax looked at Symon and Symon gave him a nod of encouragement before Jax looked back at me. “We were wondering…” He cleared his throat. “Sy and I want to have a threesome, and we wanted to know if you’d be up for it?”
My eyes widened in surprise, and I couldn’t help but look at Symon to make sure he really felt that way. He nodded at me, then looked away with a shy, embarrassed smile on his face. Oh my god, he was so damn adorable. I looked back at Jax and saw the uncertainty in his gaze and that caused me pause. “What’s wrong?”
Jax looked a little startled at the question, but after a few moments, he said, “I’m worried because… it’s you. Can you do just sex with me?”
I felt a huge stab of pain shoot through my chest, but I kept my face in a neutral expression so I didn’t give anything away. It hurt to hear him say that, but I understood, too. I’d been gone for too long. I’d missed my chance with him. I knew that, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to be reminded of the fact. But if all he could give me was sex—sex with him and one of the sweetest guys I’d ever met, at that—then I’d take it. It wasn’t the reconciliation I was after, but I didn’t really deserve one anyway.
I cleared my throat and nodded. “I’ll be fine, but, uh…” I trailed off and thought about how I wanted to go about telling him… without telling him too much. I glanced at them both a little nervously, then rolled the sleeve up on my right arm, revealing some of the lesser burns on my body. I held my arm out so they could see. “I’m not the same as I was… I’m… my body is damaged.”
Jax gently reached across the table and touched one of my scars—just a whisper of a touch—before he snatched his hand away and looked into my eyes. “Tanner,” he whispered in a voice that almost sounded like he cared about me. But then he shook himself off and took a breath. “That doesn’t matter to me, Tan, to either of us.” He looked over at Symon and pulled their linked hands onto the table. “Right, Sy?”
“Of course not.” Symon looked into my eyes and whispered, “Of course that doesn’t matter, Tanner.” Symon looked so embarrassed, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t from my scars, it was from the fact that we were talking about sex. About having sex together. The three of us. A shiver ran down my back.
“I’m in,” I said.
They looked at each other, then back at me. Jax took a deep breath. “You sure?”
“Absolutely.” I looked around the restaurant. “Can we… go somewhere after dinner?” I could only assume that was why they brought me here on this specific day, in case I agreed.
Jax smiled. “Yes.”
Symon nodded, but didn’t say anything.
I tilted my head, examining Symon. I was suddenly a little afraid for our friendship, and since he was one of my only real friends, I had to speak up before we went any further. “You sure you’re okay with this? You sure you want to go through with… everything?”
He nodded again.
“Are you going to be weird at work afterward?”
He finally looked back at me, then ran his hands over his face. “Oh my god, I don’t know. Maybe? Hopefully not, but I’ve never done anything like this before.”
At least he was being honest, which was a good indication that we’d be okay—at least, that was what I was going with. I leaned across the table. “You’ve never had a threesome before?”
He shook his head again. “No.”
I grinned and looked over at Jax. “This is going to be so much fun.”
Jax smiled back and brought Symon’s hand up to his lips to kiss the back of it as he said, “I know.”
For the rest of dinner, I couldn’t help but wish it would hurry the hell up so we could get back to Jax’s place and have a little fun. I ate my meal quickly, Jax ate pretty fast, and Symon barely ate a thing, though he assured us both that he was fine.
After that, we drove back to Jax’s apartment. I had to follow them—Symon had driven both of them to the restaurant—because I’d never been to Jax’s place before.
Jax held Symon’s hand the whole walk up the steps and down the hall, and when all three of us were finally inside, Jax pulled Symon into his arms and whispered into his ear, although I was close enough to hear him. “If you want to stop at any time, we will. If we do anything you don’t like, we’ll call it off, okay? Just tell me if you get uncomfortable.”
“He’s right, Symon,” I whispered, walking even closer to them. Jax’s eyebrows rose on his forehead, probably surprised I’d heard him. I ignored him in order to try to put Symon at ease. “If you don’t like something or you want to stop altogether, we will. No hard feelings. I promise.”
I saw Symon take a deep breath and squeeze Jax tight, burying his face in Jax’s neck. After a few seconds, Symon kissed Jax on the lips deeply, and I almost groaned at the sight. They were both so beautiful together. And even though Symon was shorter and smaller, he was clearly the one in control of that kiss. But they broke the kiss soon, and Symon turned around and looked at me before whispering, “Kiss me.”
I looked over his shoulder at Jax to make sure he was okay with kissing. When we’d been together, there were times when we hadn’t allowed kissing with the third we’d brought in. But Jax nodded, so I stepped closer to Symon, cupped his nape and leaned down. When our lips touched softly, I groaned a little. He felt so good on my lips, so soft, so sweet. He rested his hands on my pecs and pushed into me to deepen the kiss. I groaned again when I got a good taste of his tongue against my own. Fuck, he tasted so good, he felt so good. I wrapped my arms around him
to pull him closer and he melted into me. Kissing Symon was doing things to my stomach, and to my heart. There was no way I was having sex with these two men and coming out of it unscathed. But I’d take what I could get.
Symon gently ran his hands up to my neck and into my hair, further deepening the kiss. I rutted against him and he moaned when he felt my hard cock against his stomach. He pressed his hips forward, and I sighed into his mouth when his hardness pressed into my hip.
Jax stood behind Symon, trailing his hands up and down his back before pressing himself along Symon’s body. Jax started pressing soft kisses along Symon’s neck. So I broke the kiss and licked my way down Symon’s jaw and throat. He moaned again, threw his head back and rutted between us.
When Jax and I both went for the same spot between Symon’s neck and shoulder, Jax grabbed my head and pulled me in to kiss me deeply. As his tongue brushed my own, a rush of memories and emotions came swirling back from finally feeling and tasting him on my tongue again. But it only lasted a few seconds; he broke the kiss so soon, the memories never fully formed. I looked at Jax and he couldn’t hide the flash of hurt on his face, although he tried to. It made me think that maybe he’d felt it, too; that maybe he’d felt the memories; that maybe he didn’t want to remember at all. The thought made me sad, but I didn’t want to focus on that when both of these beautiful men were offering their bodies to me for the night. Feelings weren’t on the table, at least not feelings toward me. It was obvious that the two of them cared for one another. I was just something for them to play with for the night.
Not that I had a problem with it. Not, really—at least, that was what I kept telling myself. I’d been dreaming of both of them for months.
Jax nibbled on Symon’s ear and said, “Let’s take this in the bedroom and get you naked.” His voice was husky and made me shiver.
Symon’s pupils were blown and he reached behind himself to bury his fingers in Jax’s hair, though he kept one hand on my shoulder. Symon whispered, “Yes.”
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