“Mom, why are you laughing?”
Secrets were no longer part of our life. I’d sworn we would always speak honestly with each other, so I handed her the phone to read. “I promised we wouldn’t be here long, and I was reading over a job contract that looks pretty good.”
She scrolled and started to bounce on her feet. “We’d live in the city?”
I nodded. I imagined waking up every day and getting to see Arman. We would never be intimate, but I wondered if his kisses would match my memory of them. I’d thought of him every time I’d been with Bob, doing my wifely duty.
My face heated. “Yeah.”
She rocked, and her eyes went wide. “Damn. And we’d be rich.”
I took my phone back, picked up the mop, and I shook my head. The last thing I needed was for Aurora to believe a lie. I would never be rich. I was not Arman. “Not really, and don’t let your grandmother hear that word coming out of your mouth. If we go, remember, New York is expensive.”
She shrugged. “Money means we’re free. You’ll be a great executive assistant, and I’ll get to go and see museums, the zoo, and Broadway. In fact, I need to make a list.”
At least I’d taught her that accomplishing anything meant focusing on one step at a time. I swallowed. “Thanks, sweetie. First, I need to digest this, so don’t get your hopes up. I need to take the job, but I promised your grandma I’d get her groceries.”
She stopped at the door to her room. “You sure you don’t need any help?”
My angel had done a lot to help me these few months, and honestly, I was still standing because of her. It was my turn to take care of her. “I’ll handle it. Finish reading that book of yours.”
“Okay. Take the job.”
I had no choice. My mother was being nice, but I knew how quickly that could change. The last time I’d been with her was on my wedding day. I was scared because I’d seen a glimpse of Bob’s temper and was afraid that I was making a mistake. I went to my mother, hoping for sympathy and guidance. She told me that I’d made my bed, so it was mine to sleep in. She’d closed the bedroom door in my face. She had always been like that—nice, then cold—but on that day, I’d really needed her to be there for me. Her illness hadn’t been diagnosed at that point, but I’d lived with her ups and downs.
It would be better for all of us if Aurora and I found a safe place of our own. I could help my mother more from a distance and could be more like my old self. I put the mop away and washed my hands.
I didn’t know how I felt about Arman yet, but I knew that my mother would not approve. She would tell me one minute to go home and make it work with my husband, and then she’d promise to let us stay forever. I could hear her saying, “You married for better and for worse. In God’s eyes, you are a married woman. You need to honor your vows.” Then my mom’s other side would return, and she would tell me, “Stay, sweetheart. I love you and your daughter.”
I shook my head. Either way, she would never accept Arman. And she would never know I had nothing to hide. He’d offered me a job, not a grand romance where he’d swept me off to some teahouse or to see a Zoroastrian fire temple in his home country.
I grabbed the shopping list and found my mother in the garden. “Anything else you want to add to this before I head out?”
She bloomed with happiness near her greenery. She always had. But her lips thinned as she walked out of the garden, leaving her bright-yellow gloves where she’d worked, and came to stand in front of me. “I heard you went out with Arman Norouzi last night.”
Heat rushed to my face, and I hoped I didn’t blush. But there was nothing to hide, so I nodded. “I did. He offered me a job.”
She turned her head like she was ignoring me, a move she’d done most of my life. “That’s not what he wants from you.”
I closed my eyes and wished I knew what being his was like. I bet his muscular body on mine would warm me.
“Mom, I’m not interested in dating anybody,” I said, not bothering to mention that I’d googled him and seen the beautiful women he dated. There was no way he would be interested in me in that way. We’d both changed.
This conversation was over. I took a step to head to the truck as my mother said, “You’re still married. You took vows, so straighten your life up first.”
My back was turned, so hopefully, she didn’t see me flinch. But Bob had taught me that words didn’t sting nearly as much as fists did. I sighed. “You know, he beat me. Do you not want me to find a way to be happy?”
“Of course I do,” she said, and I turned around. “You’re my daughter, but you have to clean one mess before you get in another one.” When she lowered her shoulders, it was like she let my father’s memory go.
My face was hot. “I need to figure out what’s best for me and Aurora.”
She came closer to me and squeezed my arm. “I… Madeleine. I should have spoken up for you years ago. Marrying Bob was a bad idea, and I regretted… never mind. I’m glad you and Aurora are safe at home with me now.”
I threw my arms around her. “That’s what you said that made me come.”
She hugged me, and for one minute, I forgot all the years I hadn’t seen her. As I let her go, she tapped my back and said, “And I’ll need your help cleaning out the garage.”
I saluted her and hopped into the truck. “I’m on it.”
The job offer on my phone burned through me, and I felt like I should sign right away, but my impulses were usually wrong. For years, I’d lied to myself and my daughter, but Arman was offering me the chance to fulfill my empty promises that our lives would be better soon. I hadn’t actually followed through on my gut instincts in years.
I made it to the store. A few neighbors from years before waved hello, and I cringed. Any of them might turn me in and ruin my chances of staying hidden from Bob. It was like I wasn’t really home. I hated crowds.
I finished the groceries, and as I loaded the bags into the truck, I saw Martha, Sven, and a small child who must be theirs, with blond streaks from his Viking-blood father. Besides Arman, Martha had been my only other friend not in my church, and it was clear she’d married the guy she’d gone to school dances with when we were all seventeen. Unlike me, she had a smile on her face and seemed bright and happy.
One day, maybe I would trust myself to make better choices. I steered clear of the three of them, as I was done talking about my life, and headed home. As I drove, I wondered what I would be like if I’d told my parents no about the wedding and run off to New York and Arman, where no one would have constantly criticized me.
My lips tingled as if Arman had just kissed me again. My arms even had goose bumps. I parked the car, put the groceries away, and checked my phone. Soon, I would have to text him. It was almost lunchtime, but I headed to the garage, as I wasn’t hungry.
I found my mom’s gardening supplies and started there. She loved making flowers bloom. Once I finished with her supplies, I headed backward and found an old trunk. I opened it and picked up some old canvases. The paintings were all designs from my heart. I hadn’t drawn anything in years.
I found a couple of drawings of party schematics. The other was the beach sketch. To hide the fact that this was a memory of kissing Arman in the private cove on his family’s property, I’d kept the piece abstract.
I put it back, spun on my heels, and closed my eyes. There was no music, but in my mind, I listened to the ocean, and I danced. Throwing my hands to my sides like I had a big finish to some number made me laugh. I spun fast.
Then I heard a knock. I stopped. It took a second for my gaze to focus, and then I met the warm brown eyes that made my toes curl.
He stood in the old garage doorway with light shining around him as if he were an angel. “Can you talk?”
I closed the trunk and headed toward him, sucking in my lips. “Did you just see me—”
“I watched you dance when we were kids, too, and you’re just as graceful now.”
My spine tingle
d as he brushed against my shoulder. I walked around him and headed out to the sun. He followed, and for a second, it felt like he was staring at my behind.
That was silly, though. When I met his gaze, he smiled at me. I said, “I’m not… it doesn’t matter. I’m happy you’re here. Let’s walk and talk.”
He walked me toward the street. “Is your daughter okay to be left alone for a while?”
Aurora was an independent girl who loved art, which I always secretly gave myself credit for, as Bob was more into rebuilding old cars. I rubbed my arms. “She’s reading another book, but let me tell her.”
I went inside and told Aurora I was going to ask about the job, and she waved me off. When I returned, light shone on Arman like he was perfection personified and had power over everything he ever wanted, including me. I waved off that thought.
“She’s hoping I take the job you offered.” Aurora wanted New York and her life as a city girl—not that I mentioned that, but she was my focus.
He winked and opened his car door. “Great. Hop in.”
The garage wasn’t done, but I reminded myself that this was for my future and slid into his leather seats. He closed my door, and a moment later, he sat down in the driver’s seat and started the engine, which purred.
I asked, “Where are we going?”
He put the car in drive. “Do we need a destination?”
Being daring wasn’t something I normally did well. But with Arman, I wasn’t living in fear. I sat back. “No. I trust you.”
He reached out and took my hand. “I’ll honor that.” He let go.
My entire body was on fire and wanting to recreate our first kiss in that instant, but I’d blinked, and he’d let me go. It was all in my head. My heart swelled.
He said, “So, I’m thinking the beach.”
Heat rose to my face. A walk near the ocean was something everyone in this town did, and there was no way he would want me. I adjusted my white cotton shirt. “I’ve been meaning to take my daughter.”
He parked on his own property, an area tourists and locals tended to avoid. I saw three yachts parked in the distance, which must have belonged to someone in his family. As I stepped out, the salty air went to my lungs. I’d missed sand and beach water. I walked to the edge and saw the blue water.
Arman joined me. “Let’s head to the private cove so we can be alone.”
Our first kiss. My lips burned like it had just happened. We’d gone there so my parents wouldn’t find me, and I’d been tempted to know him intimately.
The years hadn’t been kind to me. I hoped that wouldn’t get in the way of our practical future. I lifted my shoulder. “I’m being invited to your private beach?”
He pressed his hand on my back as we walked onto the beach. “You always had a pass.”
That sounded nice. I needed to keep my head straight, though. I took my sneakers off and let my toes curl into the sand. He left his light sweater and T-shirt on a rock. Those muscles of his were defined. My nipples under my well-padded bra hardened at the sight. He was even sexier now, but he’d always starred in my what-if dreams.
I glanced away and pretended this wasn’t heaven. “So, are all your brothers visiting this summer?”
Drat, I already asked that. He’d told me the night before. I jerked and half expected Bob to tell me I was an idiot.
However, Arman didn’t even blink. “No, just the weekend, to celebrate Mom’s birthday and Joel’s new marriage surprise. Now, Mâmân has ammo to convince the rest of us to get married and give her grandchildren.”
Once again, he was different and not like my father or Bob. As we stepped inside the fairy-tale cove of my dreams, I only said, “At least it’s not your dad. It’s harder to say no that way. He was the one who ordered me to break up with you that summer.”
“He wasn’t my biggest fan.”
Being understated but classy was another of Arman’s great qualities. The slight waterfall on the hard rock continued like no time had passed, and the waves of the beach lulled me into memories. We headed out of the sea cave to the private beach surrounded by the rocks. The cave let in natural light from the open ceiling. When I needed to calm down, this was a place I still visited in my mind.
The smell of the salty air hit me again as he asked, “Is that why you married years ago?”
The question played out in my mind like the wrong chord on a guitar. I hugged my waist. “Doesn’t matter.” I’d tried to love Bob once I said yes, and being open had shattered me.
Arman walked onto the beach, wearing his gray cotton pants that had to cost more than everything I owned. I put my phone on a rock, edged closer to the water, and called out, “What matters is that you’re not wearing a bathing suit.”
He came back and picked me up like I was still a girl. “I’ll just buy more shorts and you an outfit before I take you home.”
The water lapped closer to me. I crawled onto Arman to stay dry, but then he let me go. Water rushed around me, and as I emerged, wet, I shook my hair. “I can’t believe you just dropped me in.”
He laughed. “The water’s warm, and you’re a good swimmer.”
Once upon a time, I’d been a good swimmer. This was my first return to the blue waters, and somehow, the moment was freeing. With Arman, maybe I could be carefree again.
Chapter Four
Madeleine
The moment I stood up and the ocean water rushed down my body, I relaxed. It had been forever since I’d felt carefree, and Arman had given this to me. I didn’t even know when I’d laughed last.
When I met Arman’s gaze, I didn’t feel tired or upset. He emerged, water dripping off his muscular body. He stirred senses in me I hadn’t remembered I had.
He pushed his hair back. He had no idea how he made my body tremble. “You can leave your pants on the beach.” He winked at me. “We’ll pick up new clothes before I bring you home.”
He was calm and collected. I was a disaster who Bob always said was never satisfied. I’d caused his anger, I realized. I’d truly failed at being a wife to Bob if Arman made my pulse speed up.
I left the water, and I heard how my pants squished as I walked to the rocks. As I reached to take them off, I said, “I’m sure they’ll dry, but you need to promise not to look.”
He wiggled his finger for me to join him again. In his private property in the cove, we were alone in the world. “I promise no such thing, and no one will see you except me. Remember, I’ve seen you in a bathing suit.”
I wiggled my stuck-to-my-body pants off and wished I was still the girl he knew, the one who knew nothing of the world. I went behind a rock and finished undressing. “That was before I gave birth. I never returned to that size.”
No more words were spoken. I tugged to check that my T-shirt covered my white cotton underwear. Then I headed back into the water, and his eyes widened. I went below the water for cover as I neared him.
He said, “You’re prettier now.”
Heat rose in my face. I splashed him back and plopped into the water to swim. “Arman, that’s sweet, but I saw pictures of you and your fancy dates online.”
He did the breaststroke beside me. “Most of my ‘relationships’ don’t last more than a month.”
I slowed down. Bob had not only turned the entire congregation we’d belonged to against me, but he’d also had relations outside our vows. Arman was single and handsome, and there was nothing between us.
I lowered my head. “Why? Because you enjoy the single life of a trillionaire?”
“No.” He stopped and treaded water beside me. “Because no one else compares to you.”
The memory of when he kissed me for the first time in these very waters replayed like a vision. I let out a sigh and let go of that fantasy. We weren’t on track for romance, and I knew I was reaching.
To steer the conversation away from my wishes, I said, “You’re still a sweetheart, Arman, and you know just what to say to calm me down. If I take this job, I need t
o know my daughter will thrive. Neither of us has ever lived in the city.”
He came closer, and my heart leapt. His voice was low. “If you’d let me know you as a friend and not a boss, I could help.”
I deflated like a balloon. He’d stated the truth—he just wanted to be friends. This was why I hadn’t asked him about the women he’d mentioned.
“How?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I can ensure that you have a nanny for your daughter, and you won’t have to pay. It will be my gift. I’ll make sure she has everything she needs while you settle.”
I pressed my lips together. I hadn’t expected that offer. I shook my head. “I don’t want someone interfering in my relationship with my daughter.”
He playfully splashed a little water my way, missing me entirely. “Up to you, but you’d be the boss, not anyone else.”
“Okay.” I continued to swim. He stayed close, and I said, “Friends?”
His gaze narrowed, probably because of the sun and the water. “For now.”
I lowered my head in the water to muffle my response as we swam. “Ohh.”
“I can wait for good things,” he said between our strokes.
Like me, I thought, finishing that sentence the way I wanted. I treaded water and splashed him this time. He stopped, and I said, “You’ve never waited for anything in your life.”
He lifted his shoulders. “I’m learning.”
I threw my head back and laughed. If I took him seriously, I would be in trouble. “And you’re still flirting. You were always irresistible when you did that.”
He moved next to me, and his voice was low. “You were the only one who ever said no.”
The charm oozed off him. I’d missed him. I swam toward the open waters. “Oh, is that why when we were kids…?”
I trailed off. I wasn’t able to ever mention our innocent kisses of years before.
Honey Bun: Virgin Cove Trillionaire Single Brothers Page 3