I can’t look Mrs. Daniels in the eye, especially knowing that Kent is still coming over night after night. I want to say to her “Don’t worry we’re not doing anything,” but that would be a lie.
Kent makes me stay for dinner and I’m glad Patrick has invited Ashley. Ashley’s constant talking keeps all eyes focused on her and off of me. It’s pizza night and Patrick offers Ashley the last piece.
“Oh God no, I’m stuffed.” Ashley’s plate has the pile of cheese she scraped off sitting next to her uneaten crust. She barely eats.
I look over at Patrick. No one else is watching. He looks at me and licks the last slice of pizza.
“Here Robin, you can have it.” Patrick puts the licked pizza on my plate.
“No thank you, I’m full too,” I say quietly staring down at the germy slice.
Mrs. Daniels looks over. “Robin, please eat it. Don’t let it go to waste.”
“Yeah Robin, don’t waste it.” Patrick gives me a look of mock disgust.
I’m still staring down at my plate. Mrs. Daniels is watching me carefully. I have no choice. I pick up the pizza and take a bite. Everyone is watching me as I chew and force it down my throat. The attention finally gets redirected on Ashley except for Patrick who raises his eyebrows and grins at me like a jackass.
“You’re disgusting,” I mouth. I know it’s probably payback for all the stuff Kent and I have put him through lately by sneaking around at night. Every time Mrs. Daniels glances in my direction I pick up the slice and take a bite. Patrick gives me a satisfied grin each time.
After dinner I go home to wait for Kent. He climbs into my bed shortly after midnight.
“That wasn’t so bad today was it?” he asks.
“Patrick licked my pizza.”
“What?”
“He licked it when no one was watching and then your mom made me eat it.”
“My mom didn’t make you eat it.”
“It was okay that Ashley didn’t want a second slice, but it wasn’t okay for me. She hates me. Are you still sure she didn’t tell your dad? I think he was looking at me funny, too.”
“Robin stop, I told you, she was fine. I turn eighteen in two days, she can’t tell me what to do.”
“Oh, then you told her you’re coming over here every night?”
Kent inhales, letting out a frustrated breath. “I can do whatever I want, I’m just not gonna rub it in her face.”
I’m so conflicted, Mrs. Daniels is a like a mother to me. She helped with the girl inconveniences I couldn’t go to my father with after my mom died. One day right after I turned fourteen, she showed up at my house with a brown paper bag. She gave me a quick lesson on the joys of being a girl and told me the bag was filled with all the necessary items I may need. Without that lesson and bag, I would have been lost. How am I repaying her? Doing naughty things with her son behind her back. Is this wrong?
Kent rests his hand on my waist tracing little circles down to my hip making it hard to think straight. No, it isn’t wrong. Wrong doesn’t feel this good.
“Trust me, keep coming over, hang out, have dinner with us and everything will be fine,” Kent says ending the conversation and all thoughts about his mom.
“So, what do you want to do for your birthday? I was thinking we could go out, see a movie or something?”
“You know what I want for my birthday…” Kent pushes his lips against my ear and whispers the exact naughty idea I’d been thinking of surprising him with.
“No way.” I play it off like I won’t, only because I want to keep it as a birthday surprise.
I roll over with my back to him and pull the covers up snuggling into him. Kent spoons me sliding his hand underneath the front of my shirt. “You’re not wearing a bra?” Kent groans into my neck. “Robin, you are dirty.”
I giggle at Kent’s reaction to my playful oversight. Hearing him call me dirty gives me a thrill and gets me all eager. It’s a late night with very little sleeping.
Ashley
“You blinked again.” Matthew cheers. He’s very proud of his staring contest abilities.
I bang my hand on the Daniels’ kitchen table feigning disappointment. “Matthew I just can’t beat you. You’re so good at this.”
“I’m the best one in my class. No one’s beat me yet. Everyone blinks.”
I watch Matthew skip from the room. Hanging out with him has become the second favorite part of my day.
“Did you let him win or are you really that bad at a staring contest?” asks the favorite part of my day.
I raise one shoulder and tilt my head. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”
“Right now. Me and you, first one to blink loses.” Patrick challenges me, leaning forward on the table.
“You’re on.”
I open my brown eyes wide and stare directly into his green ones. It takes only a few seconds for my heart to start racing. His eyes melt in front of me and I’m not sure what I’m seeing. He seems vulnerable. I hold back a shudder. My eardrums bang as my heart continues thumping. The spark building in my chest reaches all the way down to my toes. This reaction taking over can only be one thing. The one thing that is not allowed.
“I blinked,” I turn my head quickly, careful not to give away what I’m feeling.
That was a dangerous game, one I’m not ready to play.
It’s silent and I’m afraid to look at him.
“I have something for you.” I need to move past what just happened between us. Actually I need to forget it all together. I slip the book from my bag. “It’s not a classic or even a best seller, but it’s my favorite.”
He takes the book from me, and gives me a sexy grin. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to read it. It was just, we were talking about books and I joked that you should read one. It’s a silly book.”
“It’s not silly. You just said it was your favorite. I will read it.” He flips the book over and reads. “I can’t wait to see how Audrina Sinclair, a fair haired beauty who was harder to tame than any wild horse he’d ever encountered, falls for the rugged Travis Stockton.”
“It sounds stupid when you say it, but it was so good. Don’t read it if you’re just going to make fun of me.”
“I don’t think it sounds stupid. Maybe it will give me some pointers if I ever find myself falling for a girl like that.”
“Well, you are rugged.” I laugh into my hand. “I can’t believe I just said that.”
“I’m rugged? I’m hoping that’s a good thing.”
It is a good thing, for whoever gets him it’s a very good thing. Unfortunately it will never be me.
Later that night I receive a text from Patrick.
Patrick: Finished.
Ashley: No u didn’t.
Patrick: I did. I have a question for you.
Ashley: Go ahead.
Patrick: You said the bad one never has a happy ending.
Ashley: They don’t. Audrina wasn’t bad.
Patrick: She was a prostitute who stole Travis’ prized horse.
Ashley: That doesn’t make her bad. Circumstances in her life were messed up and she did some bad stuff, but she was really good. That’s why Travis falls in love with her.
I wait, but Patrick doesn’t reply.
Ashley: She stole the horse so her family would be able to eat.
No reply.
Ashley: She hated being a prostitute, but her village was raided, it was the only way to stay alive.
Still, no reply.
Ashley: Patrick she wasn’t bad.
Patrick: You’re right. She wasn’t.
Robin
The teacher drones on and on about stuff I should really be paying attention to. Except I can hardly keep my eyes open in class. My head rests on my hand. If I dare close my eyes I will fall asleep for sure. Thank God my father’s coming home tonight. He’s finishing a nine day haul, which means he will get at least four days off before the next one starts.
My fathe
r made sure he wasn’t scheduled to work for my concert this weekend. Thanks to Kent’s encouragement I actually asked him to go. This is such a big deal. I’m beyond thrilled he’ll be in the audience. As long as I manage to stay awake for it.
At lunch I try rubbing some of the sleep away from my eyes. “Remember you can’t come over tonight,” I say to Kent.
“I know, it’s like the tenth time you told me,” he snips back at me.
“God, I’m just saying.” I grit my teeth. I’m cranky and not in the mood.
“I know you keep saying and saying and saying and saying.” It’s apparent Kent isn’t in a great mood either. He gets up from the table, dumps his trash and exits the cafeteria.
“Are you okay?” Ashley moves over to the seat Kent was sitting in.
“I’m fine. This is going to sound awful, but I think we’re just seeing too much of each other lately.”
I should be embarrassed admitting something like this to Ashley. I’m just too tired to care. It’s been weeks of late nights and long days.
“No, it’s cute. You’re all in love spending every minute with each other. I wish I had something like that.”
I yawn resting my cheek on my hand. “You have Patrick.”
“I don’t have Patrick. We’re not in love.”
My eyes are shutting. Sleepiness is taking over. “You see him all the time. You’re over there every day. He does love you.”
“Patrick doesn’t love me.”
Ashley’s voice seems far off. I’m having some sort of a weird dream. When I open my mouth to speak my own words seem far off and dreamy. “He does love you. Kent told me he met you a long time ago or something and he’s been in love with you ever since.”
“Who met me a long time ago?” Ashley’s words are mixing in with a dancing monkey in a pink dress.
“Patrick,” I yawn, talking to Ashley or the monkey.
“Robin, wake up!” Ashley shouts, shaking me back to life.
I’m jolted away from my dream. I blink at her eyes a few times. Ashley is glaring at me.
“Robin, what did you just say?”
I’m fully awake now. What did I just say to Ashley? We were talking about Kent. Did I say something about Kent? Why do I feel like we we’re just talking about monkeys? “I have no idea what were we talking about?” I look around the cafeteria. People are starting to gather their belongings.
Ashley gives me a funny look, eyeing me skeptically.
“Did I say something weird?”
Ashley relaxes her face. “You were just saying that you and Kent were seeing a lot of each other. That’s all.”
“Yeah, and I’m just really tired.” I say wrapping up our conversation. I grab my bag and walk with Ashley to the hall. “I wish the cafeteria had coffee.”
“Yeah, me too.” Ashley hugs her books into her chest. She looks a million miles away.
I try to remember, did I say anything else? No. Besides what could I have really said anyway?
Ashley
The rest of the afternoon I rack my brain trying to remember if it’s possible I met Patrick before. It’s not. The first time we met was when Kent introduced us in his living room. Which means Robin doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Which also means Patrick isn’t in love with me. Of course he isn’t. Sure, my feelings for him are…confusing, but if I act on any of them, I’ll lose him. There is no way I’m losing him. If I lose him, I lose everything.
I stop working on my homework and look across the kitchen table at Patrick. I reach into the bag I carried in with me and slip out the box I have for him.
“This is just something I wanted to give you. I wanted to make up for the one I ruined and you’ve been so nice to me letting me hang out here with you guys and everything.” I’m nervous. I’ve never given a gift before. Not like this, where I actually picked it out special for the person. Friend’s parties growing up we shoved money in a card and gifts to my mom were always bouquets of flowers that sat on the counter until they died and I chucked them. This, what he’s about to open, is special. It’s not anything great, but the amount of effort I put into picking it out is.
He lifts off the top of the box and slowly pulls back the tissue. As soon as he lifts the sweater out of the box I see it matches his eyes perfectly just like I knew it would. I wait for him to say something but he doesn’t, just stares at it.
“You don’t like it? I can exchange it. You can pick out whatever you want. I just thought the green was a nice color because of your eyes.” I start rambling.
“No, I love…” He looks up at me and chokes on the words. “I love it and I love spending time with you. You didn’t have to do this.”
“I’m glad you like it. I promise I won’t ruin this one.”
His hand reaches across the table for mine. “You’d better not,” he teases and takes my hand in his. When he flashes me that unbelievably sexy smile I want him to take my hand and slide me across the table into his arms. My fingers act on their own and lace between his. If I had the strength I’d pull him to me. The gum in my mouth has disintegrated and I wind up swallowing it. “Okay, well, back to work.” I pull my hand away and pick up my pen.
Patrick pulls the sweater over his head, stands up and models it for me. He stretches his arms out to the side. “What do you think?”
The color, the size, I know what I’m doing when it comes to picking out clothes. It looks perfect. But when it comes to Patrick everything looks perfect. “It looks good,” I tell him and for some reason I feel my eyes water.
Matthew runs into the room, providing the perfect distraction. He sees the empty box and walks over peeking inside. “What’s this? Did you get a present?”
I pull Fun Dip out of my purse and answer the question. “Oh, I gave Patrick a boring old sweater, but look what I got you.”
Matthew takes the Fun Dip from me and checks out the sweater Patrick still has on. “You like Patrick don’t you?”
“Yes, of course I do.” I say it fast and silly. If I paused or seemed awkward, it would have made it seem just that…awkward.
“And me too? Right?” Matthew asks.
“Oh my gosh, of course I like you too.” He is so adorable and “like” is such an understatement for the way I feel towards both of them.
Matthew starts to rip the Fun Dip pack carefully. “I like you too and know what my mom said? She said…”
“Alright, that’s enough. Go eat your Fun Dip in the backroom. Just don’t spill it everywhere.” Patrick puts an end to whatever it was Matthew was going to tell me.
“What did your mom say?” I want to know.
“I love Fun Dip.” Patrick ignores my question. I hope that doesn’t mean it was something bad.
Reaching back in my bag I pull out a second package of the colored sugar and hold it up. “What color do you want?”
“I don’t get the whole thing?”
“Nope, we gotta share.” I rip off the blue one and take out one of the sticks. “Here.”
I hand him the blue and tear into the red. The white stick goes into my mouth to wet it and I dip it into the red sugar. Then it’s back into my mouth to lick off all the sugar. Yum. Empty calories galore, but today I don’t care. The candy stick breaks in my mouth before I’m done with the packet. A fresh new stick is handed to me. It goes right into my mouth and I pull it out between my lips. “You sure you don’t want it?” It’s too late, I’m already using it.
Patrick shakes his head no. I realize he’s watching me but I pretend not to notice. Instead of putting the sugar filled stick into my mouth I stick my tongue out to lick the sugar off nice and slow peeking up for a reaction. His eyebrows raise and his green eyes go wide shifting back down to his homework. Shit. I just whored up Fun Dip. What’s wrong with me? It was such an automatic response once I saw him looking at me.
Candy time is over. I toss the stick aside, swapping it for a nice, safe piece of gum. I can’t believe Patrick is friends with someone like me,
let alone believe any of the things Robin said to me during lunch about Patrick knowing me and being in love. The things I’ve been obsessing about all day.
“It’s weird that I never noticed you in school before this year.” I say just to see what he’ll say.
Patrick tenses up and turns the page in his notebook. “I guess.”
“Did you ever see me around school?”
“Yes. I saw you.”
“Then why did I never see you?”
“I’m not sure, you just didn’t. I was there.”
“Did we have a class together? Did we ever talk in the hallway or lunch?”
“No.”
“So, we never actually met?”
Patrick looks me straight in the eye. “We never met in school.”
He confirms it. We never met before. Robin was delirious when she said those things at lunch. Stupid. I didn’t believe it anyway.
Kent saunters in looking just as exhausted as Robin did. Dark circles weigh down his eyes pulling them shut. “I’m going to bed. Don’t wake me up for dinner.” His feet drag heavily up the stairs.
I lower my voice. “What’s going on with those two?”
“They’re going too fast, they need to slow down.”
I can’t say anything. Going fast is something I’ve been guilty of way too much, but I don’t think I ever looked like that. How fast are they going?
Robin
After the best night’s sleep I wake up refreshed for the first time in weeks. My dad’s home, which means Kent didn’t come over and being it’s Saturday I was able to sleep in late.
Dad will spend all day sleeping and I tiptoe quietly downstairs for coffee and cereal. On the kitchen table is a little brown bag. I take out a tacky red magnet from Indiana and place it on the fridge next to all the other tacky magnets. You can hardly see what color the fridge even is anymore. The magnet idea was Moms. I love that Dad still gets them. We don’t talk about her a lot. Ever. To me the magnets have kind of become our way of saying “Hey remember how great Mom was and how much we still love her?”
Cheerios taste so much better after a good night’s sleep and a nice warm shower. I love my boyfriend again. I walk - make that leap across the street and give him a big kiss on the lips when he answers the door.
Fast (The Fast Series) Page 12