Fast (The Fast Series)

by Ringbloom, Ryan

I shake him gently and when that doesn’t work I shake him harder. He doesn’t budge.

  “Get up!” I scream at the top of my lungs. The scream’s so loud I probably woke up his parents next door. Good. Let his mom come back over and drag his ass home. Maybe I should just tell her he’s still coming over and she can put an end to these nightmare sleepovers for me.

  Kent leaps from my bed sleepy and disoriented. “What’s the matter? What’s happening?”

  I flick on the lamp on my night side table. “Nothing’s happening. You just need to go home.” I’m still crying. At this point I can’t stop. Big tear drops roll down my cheeks. They are completely necessary.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I don’t feel good. I just want to sleep. In my bed. By myself.”

  He’s puzzled by my outburst. “You’re sick? What do you need?”

  “Just for you to go home.” It comes out mean. Is there a nice way to kick someone out of your house?

  Kent drops his head and rubs his eyes. “Okay.”

  He picks his clothes up from the scattered places he left them on my floor. With my head nestled on my own pillow, I turn my back to him as he’s getting dressed. I don’t feel guilty, even when he leaves my room without saying goodbye.

  The cramps calm down and I’m able to drift off into a blissful sleep.

  The next morning the car ride to school is…quiet.

  “Wanna tell me what that was all about last night?” Kent finally breaks the silence. “Are you breaking up with me?”

  “No, I just wanted you to go home.”

  “Wow. Rude.”

  “How is that rude Kent? You’re the one who was always ‘wah, wah, wah, speak up for yourself-you never say anything.’ ” I use a whiny mocking tone to impersonate him. I’m an absolute bitch. I don’t care. “So, now I’m speaking up for myself. We are together all the time and it’s too much.”

  “Yeah, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, we do that. It’s normal.”

  “It’s not normal. We went from boyfriend and girlfriend to an old married couple. Except an old married couple wouldn’t see each other as much as we do.”

  “Okay, then we won’t see each other as much. We’ll spend some time apart.” Kent makes a sharp turn into the parking space. He slams his foot on the break and I jolt towards the dashboard.

  “I think that’s a great idea,” I say keeping up the attitude.

  In silence we walk next to each other through the parking lot, down the hallway, stop at our lockers, walk to class and sit in our seats next to each other. It’s a fantastic start to seeing less of each other.

  In order to avoid looking at the miserable scowl on Kent’s face I’m overly talkative with Sarah. She knows something’s up, it’s obvious to anyone who looks at the two of us. We’re anything but discreet about the frustration we’re feeling for one other.

  At lunch the only words we speak to each other are when I tell Kent that Sarah will drive me home after practice. To which he retorts with a single child-like grunt. I don’t care. If he wants to act like a baby, he can go right ahead. I am so sick of him.

  After practice I stop for coffee with Sarah and Megan. This is my first real girl time in forever and I should be doing things like this more often. We’re laughing over silly things and I feel normal again. This might actually be the first time I’ve ever felt normal.

  A break from Kent is such a great idea.

  Ashley

  Over the next few days I see Patrick in the halls. Now that he’s rid of me, there’s always a girl walking next to him, trying to keep up with his fast stride. We make eye contact a few times, but I’m always quick to look away. He doesn’t try to talk to me again. He’s moved on.

  That’s what I wanted for him.

  Being back with my old friends is no fun. It’s the same. Boring, ugly and fake. It’s awful, but it’s the right place for a girl like me.

  Josh makes lewd comments and suggestions toward me frequently. Every time he does Tessa looks like she’s about to cry. I’m starting to see a different side to Tessa. Every once in a while I get a glimpse of this sweet, innocent, naïve girl hiding underneath a nasty, horrible, bitch. I feel like while I try to fake being good, she tries to fake being bad.

  The other guys in the group are almost as bad as Josh. None of them appeal to me. I guess now that I know nice guys actually exist I can spot an asshole from a mile away. And they are all assholes.

  High school sucks.

  Maybe I should have planned on going away next year. Maybe it’s not too late. I can still apply late to a college that’s far away. Far enough away that I can reinvent myself. Dye my hair brown, wear turtlenecks, and tell everyone I’m saving myself for marriage.

  It wouldn’t matter. I’d always know the truth.

  My phone buzzes. Robin’s sending me a text asking me if I want to go to the mall. A part of me wants to go. I’m lonely and I actually do miss Robin, but she’s too close to Patrick. I’m better off keeping her at a distance.

  Besides I have to start getting ready.

  Tessa’s having a party tonight.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Ashley

  Tessa’s house is packed.

  I’ve been holding the same beer bottle for over an hour. Absolutely no desire to drink it, only sip it every once in a while to make it look like I’m drinking. Being at this party reminds me of old times and bad decisions.

  One of those bad decisions is hanging all over me. Josh is at my side, draping his arm around my shoulders, constantly offering to get me a new beer. After the tenth time I finally say yes, I would love another beer, just to get away from him for a few minutes.

  I stand on my tiptoes craning my neck searching through the horde of people for Tessa. She’s hinted all day about a possible new love interest coming to her party. I hope for her sake it’s someone good. It finally seems like maybe she’s getting over Josh. I spot her leaning back against the wall smiling up at her new mystery man. Sneaking over for a better look, I see dark jeans slung low over perfect hips and a white polo shirt exposing chiseled arms. His hand supports him against the wall as he leans down for Tessa to talk closely into his ear. The beer slips from my hand and crashes onto the hardwood floor.

  Patrick.

  Josh saunters back and kicks the bottle I dropped over to the side with his foot ignoring the spilled contents. A fresh beer is shoved into my hand. I stare down at the puddle of beer on the floor before looking back up. Patrick and Tessa are so wrapped up in their discussion they don’t notice me or the loud crash my bottle made. I put the new beer bottle up to my lips and start drinking.

  “I have to get out of here.” I say once the bottle is empty. Josh takes me by the hand leading me into the kitchen and hoists me up onto the countertop. He keeps the beers coming. Good, because I want to drink until I can’t feel the pain. Just like Mom does.

  The drinks do nothing to ease the pain. I need more. Josh hands me more.

  Everything around me becomes a fuzzy blur. I don’t need Patrick, I have Josh.

  Like a vulture Josh swoops in knowing the time is right. He stands in front of me and leans in really close. I let out a repulsed sigh, even drunk I can’t stand the thought of him touching me. I let myself go numb as he puts his lips on top of mine. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.

  The kiss is short lived. Josh is yanked away and I’m lifted in a swift motion off the counter. Upside down and screaming I exit the party over Patrick’s shoulder. He doesn’t put me down until we’re in the street next to his car. I try to run away, but he holds me back, hooking my waist with one of his powerful arms.

  “What are you doing here?” I shout. Am I pissed he pulled me away from the party, happy he did? I’m not sure of anything anymore.

  Patrick catches me before I lose my footing and topple over. “I came here to talk to Tessa. I needed to find something out.”

  I won’t give him the satisfaction of asking what. Turning my head away, I
stare back at the house. The cold air is starting to clear some of the fuzziness from my brain.

  “She told me who started the rumors about me and you. I don’t know if I believe her. I want to hear you say it.”

  I lift my shoulders and stumble back a step. “Uh-oh, guess the secret’s out. I’m the one who spread the rumors.”

  Patrick steadies me. “Why?”

  “’Cause I’m the bad one remember? Shhh!” I put my finger up to my lip. “But don’t tell anyone, only you can know.”

  “Why is that Ashley? Why can only I know?”

  “So you don’t wind up with the bad one. Remember the whole book thing? The good one is never supposed to wind up with the bad one.”

  Patrick’s outraged green eyes are fixed on me. “Is that what this is about? You think you’re not good enough for me?”

  “No, no, no.” I shake my hands back and forth across my face. “I don’t think that. I know it. I’m sparing you.”

  “I don’t need to be spared. You’re not the bad one, Ashley. You know who you are? You’re the annoying one who the reader wants to scream at and shake to their senses. You know the one I’m talking about, the girl who needs to pull her head out of her ass and see what’s been in front of her the whole time.”

  The words sober me up. That’s like the worst thing you can say to a reader.

  “I’m taking you home.” Patrick lifts me up and places me into the passenger seat of his car. His arm reaches across my body, brushing against my stomach as he pulls the seatbelt over my lap. The gravel rustles underneath him as he kneels down next to me. He takes a moment to push a few loose strands of hair away from my face. “I think you already know, but I think it’s time I say it. I’m in love with you Ashley.”

  He said it. I don’t dare open my mouth. My mind is too muddled to even possibly know the right thing to say. We drive off and nothing more is said. The familiar landmarks and bare trees whizz pass as I lean my forehead against the window.

  Patrick helps me to the door and then walks me all the way up to my room. I don’t see my mom but one guess tells me she’s passed out somewhere, drunker than I am.

  In my room I still don’t know what to say but I know what to do. I ease my shirt over my head because I want him to see me. He turns away. My jeans come off and I stand waiting for him to turn back around. When he doesn’t turn around I walk over and slide my arms around his waist, resting my head on his back. His body tenses at my touch. I run my hands up his stomach and my lips make their way to a spot between his shoulder blades. I kiss him through the soft fabric of his shirt. I hear the gasp my small kiss causes and it causes my body to react. My hands slide down the front of his perfect body ready to please. This is my way of letting him know I love him too.

  Patrick shudders when my hand grazes the skin of his stomach and my fingertips slip lower into the waist of his jeans. He steps forward away from my touch and still doesn’t turn around to face me.

  I use both hands to grab his arm. “Stay,” I plead. My voice is desperate. He can’t leave. I haven’t shown him how I feel yet.

  Patrick shakes his head. “No.”

  “Patrick, please…”

  He stops me. “This isn’t how we’re going to do this. You know how I feel. When you’re ready, we can talk.”

  The door squeaks closed as he leaves my bedroom.

  Robin

  It’s been days of no talking and childish behavior on both our parts. After practice I ask him to come over so we can talk.

  Kent looks around my room dramatically, acting as if he hasn’t been there in years. “I didn’t think I’d ever be allowed in here again.”

  I sigh, ignoring his snarky comment. I asked him over to fix things not make them worse.

  We sit on the bed not looking at each other. I can’t believe it’s come to this. My biggest fear might be coming true. Are we one of those couples who ruined their friendship by taking it to the next level?

  “This is weird,” I say absently picking a piece of lint off my bedspread.

  “It is.” Kent nods and looks up. “What happened? Where did it go wrong?”

  I know the answer. “We moved too fast, too soon.”

  “I didn’t think that could happen with us. I mean it was me and you, it should’ve been perfect.”

  “There was no time to breathe. I think because it was us we thought we didn’t need to take it slow.”

  Kent exhales leaning back on my bed, mashing his palms into his eyes. “Does this mean we’re broken up?”

  I put my face next to his on the pillow and kiss him softly on the lips. “Remember the night when I cut my finger? We went to the movies, we went to the diner, we kissed, that was perfect. It was a date. It was really our only date, unless you count dinner with my dad, which I hope you don’t. After that things moved quickly, I know I started it, but we got lost in the lust and forgot about the relationship and the friendship. All the things we did as friends before we became more, we stopped doing. We kind of replaced them with our new things.”

  “I’m sorry. It was just ya know…”

  “Yes, I do know. It was a lot of fun.” I feel my cheeks warm. “But there was just some stuff missing.”

  “Do you regret what we did? You know what we did?”

  I move down to rest my head on his chest. “No, I don’t regret it at all. I love you. This isn’t over. We just need to try again, slow down a little.”

  “I love you, too. We can definitely try again.”

  Kent’s hand runs gently up and down my arm. I relax into the comfort of his simple touch. If we slow things down, give each other some space, we’ll be able to work it out. We can fix this. I’m pretty confident we can. But even if we can’t…

  “No matter what happens, you will always be my best friend,” I say hoping it never comes to that. I look over at him and my eyes aren’t the only ones with tears.

  “Mine too,” he says.

  Ashley

  I take a deep breath in front of Patrick’s door. I’m really scared, unsure, still wondering if I’m doing the right thing coming here. I drop my hand back down to my side and don’t knock. Instead I sit down on his cold front steps and send him a text.

  Ashley: Do you want to go for a walk?

  The front door opens. I’m scared to look back. “How did you know I was actually here?”

  “Because I’ve been waiting for you,” he says. He walks over and reaches for my hands pulling me up from the step.

  Slowly we walk side by side down his street. The chill in the air makes my breath come out in white puffs. I keep my hands in the pockets of my jacket looking down at the sidewalk concentrating on our feet.

  “I don’t know where to start or how to even talk to you without screwing this up, because the last thing I want to do is screw this up,” I say.

  Patrick slides my hand out of my pocket and holds it in his own. A gentle squeeze encourages me to keep going.

  “I’m a freaking mess and I know you know that.” The tears are building. One finally escapes from my eye and slides down my cheek. “I don’t know how someone like you can be in love with someone like me. Everything about you is so good and so perfect and everything about me is so broken,” I sniff. “Why do you love me?”

  Patrick stops walking and looks down at me. “Oh God, Ashley, first off I’m not perfect. No one is.” He pulls my hand up to his lips and smiles as he kisses it. “As for why I love you, I love…that you suck at video games. I love that you can play a board game or watch a movie and think it’s so much fun. I love that when you have dinner with us, no one can get a word in edgewise. I love how much you love Matthew, and how much he loves you. I love that you chew your amazing smelling gum like a cow. I love that you gave me your favorite romance book to read and that I needed to read it the second you left. I love that even after I walked into Kent’s room that night, you didn’t run away. You stayed. And before you left, when you thought I was asleep, you gave me that innoc
ent kiss. Ashley when you kissed me like that, my heart stopped, I was so in love with you.”

  The tears fall harder and I feel my head start spinning. I don’t know if I should say something or kiss him or …that’s just it, I’m completely in love and I don’t know what to do.

  “I only know physical, not emotional. That day at the bus stop, what I did, you said no.”

  Patrick shakes his head. “I said no, because I wanted you to know it wasn’t about that. I loved you and I thought you knew it. I wanted to say it to you, but you didn’t give me the chance.”

  “I didn’t want you to say it. I didn’t want you to love me. I spread those rumors because I wanted you to hate me. I thought it would be easier to have you hate me than have you love me.”

  Patrick places his hands on my face and wipes away my tears gently with the tips of his thumbs. His touch is the first thing in my life to feel – real and right. I smile up at him before resting against his chest. He wraps his arms around me tightly. I’m immediately warmed. Not just on the outside, on the inside too.

  “I need you,” he says.

  “I’m scared. I’ve never been in love before. I don’t know what to do.”

  “We’ll go slow.”

  “I would like to try slow.”

  Is it the right moment for a kiss? I’m not sure. If I have to think about it maybe it isn’t. When the time is right, I’ll know and it will happen. With Patrick things will be different. I’m sure it’ll be up to me when and what we do. This is a whole new feeling of control for me.

  Patrick kisses my temple and steps back taking out his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. He unfolds it and slips out a little sliver of paper. “See this gum wrapper? You dropped it the day I met you and I kept it.”

  I take the gum wrapper from him and study it. I hold the wrapper up between two fingers. “Patrick, this is.” I search for the right words. “So creepy.”

  “I give up.” Patrick shuts his eyes and smirks.

  I grasp his hand in my own. “No, don’t give up. Please don’t give up on me.” I’m ready to risk it all and take a chance. I’m going to say it. “I love you, Patrick.”