He tilts my chin up to meet his eyes, they are warm, open and I feel myself melting into them. “I will never give up on you. I promise. I love you, I have since the first time I met you.”
I feel my body start taking over, or is it my heart? I break eye contact, look down and smile. Should I kiss him or not, I want to, but should I wait? Can I wait? It’s just a kiss. The first one I ever want to give. Maybe I’ll wait just a little bit longer.
I take a closer look at the gum wrapper still in my hand. “Wait, I haven’t chewed this gum since I was a kid.”
“I know. That’s when I first met you.”
Robin
Huh? I wave for Kent to come over to the window. “Quick come look. Ashley’s at your house. She’s with Patrick in your driveway.”
Kent walks over and we pull back my curtains to get a better look.
“I hope this is a good thing. I want them to get together so bad.” I cross my fingers.
We gasp seeing it at the same time. Ashley grabs Patrick with two hands by the front of his coat. She pulls his face down to hers and plants a huge kiss on his lips. Her hands fly up to his face and he lifts her up off the ground.
“Oh. My. God.” I look over at Kent whose expression is just as flabbergasted as my own. We just stand there staring out my window at the couple across the street kissing.
PART TWO
CHAPTER ONE
The day we met…
“I don’t want to go,” I complained with a big huff. “Parks are for little kids and I’m not a little kid anymore.”
“The park is the only place big enough to accommodate all of us. We’re going to barbeque and your cousins will be there. You’ll have a great time.” My mom tried to assure me.
“No, I won’t,” I said angrily.
It was an all-day affair. I was only ten and dreaded the idea of an entire day visiting with family members I barely knew. People I only saw once or twice a year on holidays or stupid things like this. At least it was at the park in the next town over and we didn’t have to suffer through a long car drive.
I watched my mom from the backseat. Her eyes were hidden behind large dark sunglasses. She said it was to hide her wrinkles.
It was a lie.
My dad parked the car and I dragged my feet over to the picnic tables being set up. My family members all rushed over to hug my mother. My mom smiled at them excitedly rubbing her hands over her expanding belly, while my dad shook hands with all the men. My parents were being flooded with joyful sentiments, congratulating them on their unexpected, happy news.
Only, I knew they weren’t happy. My mother’s sobs had traveled through the walls of my room the night before.
This baby that was coming was ruining everything. Not even born yet and I already hated the baby.
And I told my mom so that morning.
Patrick
We’re taking it slow, taking our relationship in steps. The first step is kissing.
“This is not easy,” Ashley pants as she relaxes her head against my chest.
“No, it’s not.” I tilt my head back slamming it hard against the brick front of Ashley’s house. Hopefully it will knock some sense into me and make me leave before we do anything else.
“You said it was up to me and I’m ready for the next step.” She thrusts her chest out forcing my eyes to look down and then presses into me.
“Yes, but we also agreed we’d take each step for at least two weeks before moving on to the next one. You said it was a great idea.”
She pulls away from me and sulks. Her pretty mouth puckers into a deep frown and she folds her arms in protest. God, I love everything about this girl. Everything. The sulks, the pouts, even the evil way she’s doing everything in her power to make me stay right now.
“Guess this is goodnight then.”
“It’s been goodnight for the last hour. If you don’t go inside I might…”
She jumps back into my arms. “Oh wow, what will you do?”
“I will change the rule to waiting three weeks.”
“Fine, then give me one more kiss,” She lowers her voice down to sultry whisper. “And make it real - slow.”
Cradling her head with my hand I pull her up to my lips and stop. The gasp of air that escapes her makes me weaken. I press my lips against hers gently, deliberately making her wait before parting them and kissing her deeper.
Every kiss with her is new, she wilts in my hands and I know we have to stop - now.
“Alright, yeah, maybe you should go now,” she breathes heavy and takes a step back.
If this is just kissing, I’m not sure what will happen when we take the next step. So far she’s been more than I ever imagined, and believe me when I say I’ve done a lot of imagining.
We finish the walk up to her front door and I wait until she’s inside. I exhale, taking the first step down her stone steps. The door flings back open and she comes barreling back outside.
“You’re still not gonna tell me?” She yells at me with a hand perched on one hip.
She dropped the subject once we started kissing, but now it looks like her senses have returned, and she wants an answer.
“No, I want to see if you remember.”
“I’ve been going crazy and I just can’t. How old were we? Was it in high school? Was I mean to you? Did we kiss?”
“Trust me, you’d have remembered that.” I wink at her.
She twitches her lips to the side, and then smiles. “You’re right I would have. I just want to know, please tell me.”
I shake my head, I’m confident she’ll remember on her own. I smile back at her and continue the walk to my car.
“I love you.” Her sweet voice calls out to me, trying to entice me to change my mind.
“Well, in that case.” I stop and she waits eagerly for me to continue talking. “I love you, too.”
Her shoulders droop and she tries giving me a dirty look. The twinkle in her honey brown eyes gives her away. It always does. Those gorgeous eyes betrayed her true feelings to me way before those beautiful lips ever did. She smiles and blows me a kiss.
Saying goodbye to her is the least favorite part of my day. She walks back into the house and I see her peeking out the front window.
As I drive away, I’m still smiling, amazed at how lucky I am. Everything I went through to get here. Absolutely worth it.
Kent
“I got a job,” Robin exclaims bouncing up and down excitedly.
I throw my jacket on her sofa and watch my girlfriend dance around her living room. I didn’t even know she was looking for one. “Where?”
“Baker’s Grocery, I start training tomorrow. I’ll be working three nights a week and weekends.”
We haven’t seen much of each other lately and apparently we still won’t be. Our relationship is unraveling. The plan is to work things out, but honestly we’re hanging on by a string. An uneasy feeling takes over my stomach.
“When did you apply?” I ask. I guess this is what she’s doing with all her new free time and “space.”
“I didn’t, Billy Baker and I were talking in class and I told him I wished I had a job. He told me they were hiring at his dad’s store and all I had to do was go in after school and fill out some paperwork. So I did.”
“Just like that, he hired you?”
“Well, it was actually his dad, but yeah. Billy’s going to train me. Isn’t that great?”
My tongue clucks against my cheek and I raise an eyebrow insinuating, no, it’s not great.
“What?” Robin asks. “I thought you would be happy.”
“You thought I’d be happy that some guy obviously wants to get in my girlfriend’s pants? Well -I’m not.”
“That’s not why I got the job. Why would you even say something like that to me?”
That’s exactly what it is. How does she not see that? Some guy offers her a job out of the blue and she doesn’t think there’s anything unusual about it. The blood in my vei
ns began to boil.
“Fine, have fun at your job. I guess I’ll just see you whenever.”
“Kent, I thought we agreed to slow down.”
“I didn’t think we were going to slow down to nothing.” I know I need to stop talking. Everything with us has become so frustrating lately. I breathe in and out until I calm down. “I’m sorry,” I say. “What are you going to do when practice starts up again? Are you going to tell him you can’t work?”
Robin moves her eyes away from mine and gazes over my shoulder. “I’m not going back. I don’t think I’m going to play anymore.”
“What? How can you not play anymore? You’ve been playing since junior high and now the last half of senior year, you’re just gonna walk away?”
“I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to work. It’s senior year, I want to have fun and make some money. Maybe if I save enough I can get a car, and maybe even go away on spring break.”
“Spring break?” I’m stunned. “Let me guess, you and Billy talked about it?”
I’m blown away. Who is this standing in front of me? This isn’t the Robin I know.
“I don’t know Kent, maybe I just feel like I missed out on stuff.” She gets all pissy. “I want to do things before we graduate and it’s too late.”
Oh, now I get it. “You mean, like, missed out on stuff when we were together? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Yes,” she shoots back.
Her new attitude causes me to flinch. This is unreal. I try to disguise the shock and hurt I’m feeling behind a forced out snicker. Only she knows me too well.
“I’m sorry.” She rests her hand on my shoulder and looks up apologetically. “I didn’t mean it. I want us to be together.”
I step away from her. I don’t want her touching me right now. The horrible way she’s making me feel I want her to feel it too. “You sure about that? It doesn’t sound like there’s room for me in any of these plans.”
“Yes, of course I’m sure. Just because of a few new changes in my life that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you anymore.” She offers me a weak smile. “Kent, you’re still my boyfriend.”
I really do try and stop the words coming from my mouth but I can’t. It’s just I know where this is heading and I have to end it before she does. “You know what Robin, I don’t think I am.”
The anger and hurt have taken over. The words are out there. I glance in her direction, hoping she might be able to fix what I just broke. It’s hard to look at her, her lower lip quivers and I know she’s struggling. One minute she’s smiling up at me excited about her new job and the next we’re broken up.
She tucks a piece of shiny black hair behind her ears, hesitating. “Well, we said if things didn’t work out we would always be friends. I guess that’s what we should do, go back to being friends.”
“Yeah, that’s probably for the best.” I pick up my jacket, gripping it tightly in my hand. Nothing makes sense right now.
It’s uncomfortable, each of us is waiting for the other to say something first.
“If you want, I can start going to school with Patrick,” Robin says without looking at me.
So much for being friends, I shake my head mystified, it keeps getting worse.
“Guess there’s no fighting for me now Robin, is there?”
“Kent, you’re the one who just said…”
“I know.” I cut her off. “It’s good, and yeah, it’s probably best if Patrick brings you to school from now on.”
I leave my ex-girlfriend’s house, the best friend, who in a blink of an eye, I’m no longer friends with.
Just like that.
This is going to take some getting used to.
CHAPTER TWO
The day we met…
I needed to be alone, away from everybody, a place where I could sit and think. The park had a few paths along the woods for hiking. My mother warned me to stay away from the trails. According to her, I was still too young to go off on my own. She was worried I might get lost.
Today I didn’t care about following rules. I walked over to the edge of the woods and stepped onto the dirt path, it was dark underneath the tall trees, just a few rays of light poking through the leaves. But I wasn’t scared. Looking around for some form of protection, just in case, I chose a large branch from the ground and took off on my journey.
The baby was going to change everything. I heard my mom say to my dad she didn’t know how they were going to do it, starting over with a brand new baby. She said she wouldn’t have as much help now that our grandmother had passed away. Apparently babies needed a lot of attention and my mom kept saying she already had her hands full. Who was going to help her?
I confronted my mom about what I heard. She apologized and told me the news just came as a surprise was all and she didn’t mean any of it. “Silly tears” she told me, waving it off. I didn’t believe her.
Wandering farther than I realized I looked around at the surroundings for something familiar. Scared I went too far, panic set in. I started to run only to stop dead in my tracks when I heard the crazed yelps of a wild animal up ahead.
Patrick
“It’s been two weeks and three days I’m ready for the next step,” Ashley announces to me as I walk her to class.
“What’s the next step?” I try not to appear too anxious. I’m trying my best to come across as patient, let her know she can take all the time in the world. But if she only knew the extreme control it takes every time we’re together to keep my hands off of her. I think she might actually be a little scared.
“It’s a surprise,” she teases, before asking, “Matthew’s still going to a friend’s house today?”
“Yes.”
“Good, I told Robin I would drive her to work and then I’ll come right to your house. Are you excited?”
I look down at her fitted white shirt and snug jeans. Blonde hair falls over her shoulders and the scent of the strawberry gum she is forever chomping on, makes parts of my body ache. Was I excited? Hell. Yeah.
“If you’re sure you’re ready,” I manage to say evenly.
“Aw, you look nervous,” she giggles, standing up on her toes to kiss me. “Don’t worry I’ll be gentle.”
Not too sure what she means by that, but I can hardly wait to find out. I have to shake my head to clear it before making my way to my own class.
Only a few hours later, but it seems like days, she pulls up in front of my house. I invite her into my empty house and play it cool for a whole five minutes before casually asking her up to my room.
She nods slowly with a devilish grin. My body pulsates waiting to see what she has planned for step two. I am determined to stick with the plan, going in small steps; I look up and pray for strength. I’m quite sure I’m going to need it.
“Oh wow,” she says upon entering my room. “You’re room is spotless.” She runs her hands across the polished finish of my dresser. Next she heads over to the few books I own stacked neatly on a shelf. Her fingers slide across the bindings of each one until she stops and pulls one out of its place. She holds the book up and smiles.
“It’s mine now,” I say. “Someone very special gave me that book because it’s her favorite.”
“I have another one for you, a new favorite. Remind me next time.” She continues her inspection, glancing back at me as she wanders around the room. Once she’s done she stands in front of me and places her hands on my shoulders. “Remind me what step one was again?”
I slide my arm around her waist pulling her up in one quick motion to my lips. Her tongue is deep in my mouth and an unavoidable moan pries its way out, teeth tug at my lower lip and I need to back away for a moment of self-control. Ashley’s chest rises up and down with each deep breath she takes. Not the ideal place to look as I try to keep myself in check. She pulls me back down for more.
“Patrick?” My mom’s voice comes from the other side of the door. “Are you in there?”
It takes a
second for enough blood to flow to my brain to answer. “Yeah Mom, I’m in here, what’s up?”
“Open the door, please,” my mom says, suspiciously.
Ashley motions behind the door and steps over. A quick look down and a tug to the front of my jeans, I open the door with Ashley hidden behind it.
“What are you doing home Mom?” Does my voice sound normal?
“I needed to pick something up for work and then I’m running back out.” Her eyes scan the room behind me. “Is Ashley here?”
“No, she’s not here.” Grr, I hate lying to my mom.
“Her car’s out front.”
I hear Ashley squirming behind the door and I speak up to cover the noise. “That’s because she’s at Robin’s and then she’ll probably stop by here after.”
Mom steps forward still peering around my room. I wave my hand around offering her a better look. “She’s not here, see?” Now I know my voice doesn’t sound normal.
“Hmm, alright, well I’ll see you in a little bit. Is Ashley staying for dinner?” She still doesn’t seem convinced I’m alone in my room. Probably because she’s my mom and moms know everything.
“I’ll ask her when she gets here.” I hold onto the door and watch my mom walk away, waiting until she’s halfway down the stairs before I feel safe enough that she’s not coming back.
“Surprise,” Ashley whispers as I shut the door. She’s removed her top, revealing a skin-colored push up bra. “Step two,” she smiles holding up two fingers.
It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Worth lying to my mom over. I’d caught an amazing glimpse of her once before, but it can’t even compare to what’s standing before me right now. I have every intention of taking my time before reaching up to touch her, but it’s impossible. My hands slide up over her delicate skin and I feel her inhale under my fingertips. A simple flick of my hand and the bra is on the floor. The combination of step one and step two is nearly enough to send me over the edge.
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