by Becca Fisher
"Nor would he appreciate being told he was wrong," Miriam added.
"There's a lot of good people in the world. And there's an abundance of faith if you know where to look. I stand before you as proof that the Lord's work can be done outside the confines of Lancaster County," Abigail explained.
"Well, this should make for great family dinner conversation," Allison joked.
"By the way, how is father?" Abigail asked.
Allison and Miriam both tensed up, neither eager to enter into prickly territory.
But the tension was broken by the most unlikely of people.
"Does no one wish to know how I'm doing?" Emma asked, making her way into the kitchen.
Silence filled the room as Emma and Abigail laid eyes on each other for the first time in nearly a decade. Abigail remained apprehensive, all too aware that she had not parted on the best of terms. Did the animosity still linger? Allison hoped for the best, but was prepared for anything.
Finally, Emma opened her mouth. "God, it's really you. I almost can't believe my eyes. I don't know what you're doing here, but I'm so glad you are."
Emma then gave her stunned daughter a hug while Allison and Miriam breathed sighs of relief.
Maybe Abigail's homecoming anxiety was overblown after all. Maybe a new relationship could be forged between Abigail and her parents. Maybe a calm family weekend was on the horizon after all. But something in Emma's response was unsettling, and Abigail was not one to let things go easily.
"What do you mean you don't know what I'm doing here?" Abigail asked.
And with that, Miriam knew she had to come clean.
***
"What were you thinking?" Emma asked, as Miriam's plan hit a snag.
"I just wanted to have our family back together," Miriam explained.
"Miriam, I can assure you that thought has entered all of our minds through the years," Emma said.
"So Dad doesn't even know I'm coming then?" Abigail asked. "The only reason I decided to come was because I thought he was ready to bury the hatchet."
"Oh dear," Emma said, grimacing.
"God, this is going to end so badly. This could be a disaster," Abigail said in a panic.
"Don't you think it's going to mean something to
Dad that you already came out here? That you came back home after all this time?" Miriam argued.
"Yeah. It's going to mean I'm a sitting duck," Abigail replied.
"It's a shame, because I've waited so long for you to come home," Emma admitted.
"We all feel the same way, so why not tell him?" Miriam suggested. "The four of us--"
"Your father's beliefs cannot be swayed by the will of four or four hundred," Emma explained.
"Even if those beliefs are wrong?" Miriam asked.
"Especially if they're wrong," Emma added.
"Well, I don't think it's right to come all the way out here without my feelings being known," Abigail said.
"Resolve was never something you were in short supply of," Emma remarked.
"Father isn't the only one with strong beliefs," Abigail replied.
Six
Bluster only carried Abigail as far as her father's doorstep though. From there, nerves overtook her gusto. But if her father wouldn't open his door with welcome arms, Abigail had come too far to not get closure. Abigail finally mustered up the courage to knock, not sure what greeting awaited her. As Samuel opened the front door with nary a smile on his face though, Abigail realized the road ahead of her was filled with nothing but potholes.
"Of all the people to show up at my door, you are the last I ever expected," Samuel said.
Abigail sighed with disappointment at her father's lack of a welcome. "It's a shame that after ten years, all that has changed is the date on the calendar."
"The facts certainly haven't changed," Samuel explained. "But I take it you did not come with an apology in tow."
"I only apologize when I've done something requiring forgiveness," Abigail fired back.
"Do you not believe betraying your family is worthy of an apology?"
"The only thing I betrayed was your wishes for me. But we did not share the same wishes," Abigail explained.
"Do you not trust me to know what's best for my own daughter? I helped give birth to you. I helped raise you. I gave you everything you needed to succeed," Samuel explained.
"And I am succeeding. I have a wonderful husband, a fulfilling job--"
"And a life without your family. If you would have stayed, I would have given you everything. The quilt shop would have been yours. Yet that meant nothing to you."
"Father, you mean the world to me. I would not have come back to celebrate your anniversary if that were not true."
"It used to be true. When you were a child, my words meant everything to you. A plain and simple life was all you desired. But then distraction got the better of you."
"The Amish way is not the only way--"
"No. It's just the right way," Samuel replied.
"Do you truly believe the only way for God to be righteously worshipped is through Amish eyes?" Abigail asked. "Because I do the Lord's work everyday."
"I'm sure you do. But couldn't you do it better here, free of distractions?" Samuel countered.
"I think it's you who's distracted by what's really important."
"I would hold your tongue now while you still can," Samuel urged.
But Abigail was in no mood to heed Samuel's warning. "I used to think the reason you cast me off was because you were convinced that I would lead a tarnished life. I am more devout now than ever though."
"Abigail, there is still time for restraint."
"Not when the truth is waiting to be told," Abigail countered. "The real reason you've never forgiven me is a lot more personal, isn't it? It's not about God, it's about you. In your mind, my life was already plotted out carefully long before I could think for myself. You built up expectations for me. Made decisions about how you wanted my life to be lead. Decided what was right for me. But you never stopped to ask me what I wanted. So when I decided I wanted something different for my life, you refused to accept it. You didn't care about my happiness. You only cared about your own expectations being dashed."
"I cannot believe the words you've let come out of your mouth," Samuel said, in a rage.
"And I cannot believe they're actually true. But they are. And the worst part is, you then used me to set an example. You came down on me hard just to scare Allison and Miriam off from ever following in my footsteps," Abigail explained.
Samuel looked ready to explode. No one talked to him like that. But Abigail did not back down. Conviction was in her voice. That conviction was not shared by her father though.
"Is this what the world has taught you? To treat your father with no respect? To let accusations rule the day? Because I will not have that in my house."
"Father, I did not come here to start a fight. I came here to end one. I came here to forgive you," Abigail said.
"You came here to forgive me? It is you that should be begging for forgiveness."
"You're right," Abigail admitted, much to Samuel's surprise.
Abigail had a different way of expressing her regret than Samuel expected though.
"Although I will not apologize for leaving, I'm extremely sorry that I waited so long to come back," Abigail said. "I think about all the weddings I've missed in the last decade. The birthdays, the family dinners. And I don't want to miss any more of them. So I say, let us forgive the past and begin anew. I'm offering a fresh start. Will you accept that?"
***
Miriam's house was abuzz with possibilities. Abigail wanted to confront her father alone, but the rest of the family couldn't help but wonder how it went. As Abigail came back though, their answer wasn't far off.
"What happened?" Miriam asked, surrounded by the rest of the family.
"I got closure," Abigail replied.
That level of vagueness soothed no one's soul.
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"Does that mean you're coming to the party?" Miriam added.
"It means Isaac and I are going home tomorrow," Abigail explained. "But you are all welcome to come visit us anytime you like."
Stunned silence filled the kitchen. No one knew what to say.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to lay down for a while," Abigail continued. "It's been an exhausting day."
***
Samuel was eager to vent after the unexpected confrontation with his daughter. But as Emma stormed into the house, it became clear Samuel's plans would have to be put on hold.
"Honey," Samuel started saying.
But Emma was in no mood to play pacifier. She moved right past Samuel without saying a word.
"What are you doing?" Samuel asked.
Emma then returned from the bedroom with a pillow and a blanket. She threw it on the couch.
"You're going to need these while you sleep on the couch tonight and think about what you've just done," Emma scolded.
"What makes you think you can just storm in here and talk to me like that?" Samuel asked.
Emma scowled at Samuel. "What makes you think you can bring such misery to this family? You should be ashamed of yourself."
Emma then moved back to the bedroom without saying another word.
***
Samuel wasn't the only one in the family with thoughts weighing heavy. Abigail's head was in the clouds, giving the thousand foot stare to the horizon out the bedroom window.
Isaac provided a sounding board for Abigail's troubled mind.
"How could an Amish man be so prideful? It's against his beliefs," Abigail ranted.
"You did your best. And that's all you can do," Isaac remarked.
"No one wants to believe their best isn't good enough. But when you finally realize the truth, it couldn't hurt more."
"I really thought your father would come around," Isaac admitted.
"It's amazing. Even when I was away for those ten years, I always thought we'd eventually work everything out. But now I know I'm always going to have an emptiness in my heart."
"The rest of your family will visit. They've missed you so."
"And I them. But I won't be able to come home without disaster brewing. And the worst part is, my father and I used to be so close."
"I wish I could just take all the pain away. I wish I could make everything all right," Isaac said.
"I don't know if anything could make this all right," Abigail bemoaned.
"You could move back," Isaac suggested. "We could live here in Lancaster County. You could become Amish again. Your father would have no quarrels with you then."
It was the kind of pie in the sky over the top idealism that Isaac specialized in. But even Abigail was taken aback by it at that moment. "You'd really move here for me?"
"I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy," Isaac admitted.
"That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard. But I'm afraid that would only make my father happy. My heart and my home are in Philadelphia now. And even though my father doesn't approve, I know the Lord does."
***
Miriam meanwhile had her own crisis of doubt. "I shouldn't have sent that invitation," she said to herself.
Daniel tried to calm her down. "You were just doing what you felt was right."
"Only I couldn't have been more wrong," Miriam argued.
Looking into Miriam's eyes, he knew that words could do little to bring peace to Miriam's soul. And he knew there was only one thing that could.
Daniel held his wife tight, then gave her the best advice he could. "You just need to have faith that everything will be all right."
***
"Maybe it won't be all right. If my own father can hold a grudge for over a decade, who's to say our daughters won't as well?" Allison ruminated in bed with Lucas.
"I've found the only way to make it as a parent is to believe that eventually something has to go right," Lucas replied.
Then all of a sudden, trouble knocked. Patricia and Beth entered the bedroom.
"Mother, father--we have something we have to tell you," Patricia said.
"I thought you two were asleep," Allison replied.
"It's just that we've been thinking about what you said," Patricia continued.
"That we fight too much," Beth added.
"And we're sorry," Patricia continued.
"I don't mean to be so much trouble, really. Sometimes it just happens though."
"I'm going to try not to make you so mad anymore," Patricia added.
"Yeah. I don't like it when you yell," Beth said.
It was about as heartfelt of an apology that Allison and Lucas could expect from their daughters. And Lucas was happy to hear it.
"Well, it's nice of you girls to try," Lucas said.
Allison meanwhile just hoped her daughters actions would live up to their words.
"Here's hoping you succeed," Allison added.
As Patricia and Beth went back to bed, Allison found herself in a position of both disbelief and delight. Maybe things really could change. Maybe some duels could end in a truce after all. Maybe Allison's family wouldn't remain fractured after all. And although Allison's optimism was rather cautious, after what she'd been through, any optimism was better than none.
***
Samuel never thought he'd be spending the eve of his wedding anniversary in the dog house. Yet there he was alone on the couch, left to wrestle with the allegations his own daughter had fired at him earlier. There was more to Samuel's grief than just the sting of accusations though. Samuel was not accustomed to his family aligning against him.
There was a lot for Samuel to think about. But the hardest thing was confronting the truth.
Seven
Morning brought more than just a beautiful sunrise to Lancaster County. It brought the dawn of a new era in the Kaufman's lives. And it also brought the tearful departure of Abigail for a second time.
"I can't believe this is actually happening," Allison said, hugging her sister goodbye.
"I'm so sorry I sent you that invitation," Miriam added, taking her turn saying farewell.
"Don't," Abigail replied. "Sure father and I didn't come to terms, but I feel a kinship with the rest of you that I haven't felt since I was a child. And I would not take that back for a moment."
"We'll visit you," Miriam insisted.
With that, the only goodbye left was Emma. But it would be the toughest of all.
"You don't have to go," Emma said.
"It wouldn't be right to come to the party when father doesn't want me there," Abigail explained.
"But I want you there," Emma replied. "Now more than ever."
"I know. And that means more to me than I can express in words," Abigail continued.
Emma then hugged her daughter, not wanting to let her go. But the time for the journey back to Philadelphia was upon Abigail, regardless of how reluctant she was.
As Abigail and Isaac prepared themselves to head home though, they had an unexpected visitor.
A buggy pulled up to the front of Miriam's house, and with it Samuel holding the reigns. Surprise was on everyone's faces. What more could Samuel have to say that he hadn't already muttered? Did Samuel have more ill words to say to his daughter? No one was eager to find out. But there was clearly enough on Samuel's mind to buggy all the way over to Miriam's house.
"I'm glad you're still here," Samuel remarked.
"And why is that?" Abigail asked, cautiously.
"Because I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry," replied.
Abigail had never heard those words come out of her father's mouth. Suddenly, she couldn't wait to hear more. "I'm all ears."
"You were right," Samuel continued.
Abigail's interest just piqued by the moment. "About what exactly?"
"Everything. I was too busy letting my plans for your life get in the way of your happiness. I put your needs behind my own wishes. And when things didn't go as I wanted, I
made a mistake that cost both me and the rest of the family ten years of our lives."
Abigail was floored. Not just because it was the truth, but because her father was finally willing to admit it. "That must have been incredibly hard for you to say."
"It wasn't nearly as hard as facing the prospect of losing you for another ten years," Samuel replied. "I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I'm tired of making this one."
Abigail's eyes filled with tears. But for once, those tears were of joy instead of sorrow. Abigail hugged her father with relief across her face. She'd dreamed of that moment for a decade, and it had finally come. She almost couldn't believe it was real. But as Abigail saw the joy on the faces of the rest of her family, not only was it real, but it was the sweetest surprise in her life.
There was plenty of relief to go around though. The Kaufman's were revitalized. Finally, the family was whole once again. It was cause for celebration. But of course there was another reason to celebrate as well.
Samuel smiled. "Now what do you say we start the anniversary party a little early?"
The End.
I'll Be Waiting In Heaven
"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," Lucas said, completely smitten.
Those were the kind of words that made a woman's heart melt. Especially a plain and simple Amish woman like Allison. Insecurity came naturally to Ali. She grew up feeling like she would be nothing more than second best. That she would be a romantic runner up her whole life. Then she met Lucas. And even years into their marriage, Lucas still had a burning desire for Ali.
"You sure have a way with flattery," Allison replied, not wanting to leave her bed to start the day.
Lucas just kept gazing into Allison's eyes. "I can't help it. I'm madly in love with you."
"Do you ever feel like you're experiencing a little piece of heaven right here on Earth?" Allison asked.
"Like the moment could not be more perfect. Like you want it to never end--"
"Exactly."
"Who says it has to end?" Lucas asked. "I could just lay with you here forever."
"You know, being here makes me realize just how lucky I am to have a man like you in my life. You are truly one in a million. Irreplaceable."
"Well, I hope you're not aiming to replace me. I'm not planning on going anywhere."