by Leslie North
“She just wanted the family to get together,” Chase mumbled. It didn’t feel great to lie to his brother, but they’d all sworn not to say a word to Gabe until he was home for the holidays. “And anyway, I’m helping Jonas out with some things around the resort. That’s why I’m still here.”
Gabe snorted. “Why would Jonas ever ask anybody for help?”
“He didn’t. Grandmother wanted me to step in. I guess he seemed stressed and busy.”
“Sounds like Jonas’s regular self.”
“We’re hiring a new ski program director.” Chase just wanted to be back on a regular footing in this conversation instead of feeling like he was dodging the elephant in the room. “So I’m going over the external applications. But you know what? I’ve been going on so long, I didn’t ask why you called.”
“You called me.”
“Why you texted, then. Something up?”
A pause. “Oh, it’s nothing.” His brother’s voice changed ever so slightly, but Chase caught it. Whatever he wanted to talk about wouldn’t happen now, leaving him to wonder what was going on.
Chase stopped short at the steps to his porch, blinking against the bright light. He’d been imagining this job as taking him away from his family. Far away. Too far for regular visits if he didn’t want to make them. But Gabe was on the west coast. Without all the pressure of the Elk Lodge, he and Gabe might get to know each other again. He hadn’t seen his brother much since the accident, and even before then, their lives had diverged when Chase’s career took off.
“Chase? You still there?” Papers rustled in the background. “The cell service over there is still terrible, I guess.”
“I’m still here,” he said quickly. “You’re right. It would be good if we were closer.”
“Aw, Chase, I didn’t know you missed me so much. Don’t worry, I’ll come back someday. Just not now. Got things to do.”
Chase went inside the house. “Did I say I missed you? If I did, it was a mistake.”
“Love you, bro,” Gabe said, knowing he was teasing.
“Love you, too.” Funnily enough, he meant it. Chase wondered if he should have had a heart-to-heart about their grandmother’s health, considering he didn’t think it was right Gabe hadn’t been told. Jonas had been all out of sorts lately, and not having been around much, Chase could only attribute it to his grandmother’s health. All the more reason not to keep Gabe in the dark. If only he hadn’t promised his grandmother not to say a word.
He tossed the phone onto the kitchen counter. Things hadn’t gone great with Jonas, who was clearly pissed about Chase’s decision not to sit in on the interviews. He wouldn’t mind getting away from Jonas for a few months. Maybe a few years.
But then there was Tana to think about. He didn’t want to be away from her for even a few minutes. The quickie in her bedroom had been so good he’d dreamed about it last night in the few hours he slept after making the final list of candidates. But with a daughter and a job, did she really want him to stick around?
Chase couldn’t be sure. It felt like a sure thing, somewhere deep in his gut.
He’d thought the same thing about his last girlfriend. He’d been wrong.
Then the job called to him again. A fresh start. He’d be able to make friends and connections through Gabe. He’d been thinking of the new job as an endpoint, but it could be the beginning of his life after skiing. There would be the time before his accident, this strange in-between time, and an exciting new afterward.
Oh, he could almost see it. Strolling in the bright west-coast sunshine after work. Passing by a park with a playground. Lindsey sprinting off toward the swing set. Tana laughing by his side.
Yikes.
Chase pulled himself out of that vision and scrambled for something to do. Anything. Food was always a good answer. He pulled a box of pizza from the freezer. Ice particles clung to it and fell to the counter as he tossed the box down.
Tana wanted a career at Elk Lodge. She didn’t want to uproot her daughter to be with a man she’d slept with exactly once. From the pink in her cheeks and the electric way she’d moved afterward, it had been as good for her as it had been for him. But that wasn’t the same as a commitment to each other.
So much for not thinking about her. He stabbed at the buttons on his stove, setting it to 375 degrees. After sliding the pizza onto a pan, he dropped into a seat at his kitchen table to wait for the oven to preheat.
Focus on anything but a crazy dream of a life with Tana. Except the dream, like weeds in a garden, wouldn’t go away.
Chase stared out the window at the snowy backyard. Several minutes later, a beep alerted him it was time to put the pizza in the oven. He returned to his chair, letting his thoughts drift to life. More specifically, what he wanted from it.
Gabe knew all kinds of people out there—people who didn’t care about skiing or Chase’s past abilities. Before long, he imagined a sprawling house with a balcony, and the sun on his face. In his daydream, his grandmother was still healthy, and the Elk Lodge was still going strong—it just didn’t need him. In the dream, he knew he was exactly where he was supposed to be. Even more reason to accept the job offer.
The smell of smoke grabbed his attention. He’d forgotten to set the timer on the stove, and now the edges of the pizza were burnt. Chase hustled over, cursing lightly under his breath, and stuffed his hand into an oven mitt. When he dropped the pan on the top of the stove, the pizza didn’t look all that appetizing. Different than expected, but still edible—the burnt pizza was like a metaphor for his life.
Chase shook his head, not wanting to dwell on something so utterly ridiculous.
12
After the burned-pizza incident, Chase needed to get out. To do something. And something other than meet Tana on the ski slopes for her lessons. There was plenty to do in the nearby town.
Stores bustled with shoppers, their boots leaving footprints in the dusting of snow on the sidewalk, their breath freezing in the air against a background of Christmas wreaths with red bows and bright bulbs. The tree in the town square and the decorations in the windows reminded Chase of all the things he used to be excited about when it came to Christmas.
He hadn’t been looking forward to the holiday until it came time to do something special for Tana and Lindsey. If they were together—if they had a future—this would be the norm every year. Don’t imagine that now. Focus on the gifts. Shopping for Tana and Lindsey was better than imagining their life out west together, right?
Sure it was.
In a couple of hours, he’d exhausted his leg and his desire to shop. Chase headed back to the lodge, skipping the main road. He spotted Tana’s car in front of her cottage. He hadn’t planned on stopping by—not really. But one quick stop to drop off Lindsey’s birthday present and their Christmas gifts shouldn’t be a problem.
He gathered up the packages, already wrapped care of several kind store clerks, and sprinted up the front steps. Play it like a delivery guy. In and out. Chase knocked on the door, balancing the gifts in his arms.
“Coming,” Tana called from inside. She opened the door a moment later with a little plastic tray in her hand—one of those microwavable meals. Her face flushed deeply. “Hey, Chase. How’s it going? Wait—what’s that?”
I want to be in your bed again. “Good. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something.” Following her gaze, he glanced down at the bundle in his arms. “I brought some skis for Lindsey—they’re a birthday present.”
Tana frowned. “Oh, Chase, you don’t have to do that kind of thing.” She looked wary.
“I’m glad to do it. I wanted to. Lindsey’s going to be a great skier, and why not do it on some cool skis?”
She hesitated, and he remembered the way she’d held back at the lost and found. But then her eyes slid over the skis, and Tana’s face brightened. “You’re impossible to stop. Did you know that?”
“I can be pretty persistent, yeah. But this delivery won’t take tha
t long.” He felt slightly ridiculous, standing on her porch and holding an armful of presents. “I wanted you to know that I talked to my brother today. Jonas. He’s the one who—”
“You should come in. It’s cold out.” Tana stepped back to let him into the narrow front hall. “I’ve got a few minutes before I have to head out.”
“Where to?”
“To get Lindsey from school. I got lucky today—a lesson ended early and I had some spare time to stop at home and eat. Makes the evening lessons better when you’re not hungry.” The fridge opened and closed, and water ran in the sink.
Chase shut the door with an elbow. She didn’t have much time, so he couldn’t linger here, watching the way her dark hair spilled over her shoulders.
“What was it you wanted to talk about?” Tana came back out of the kitchen and put her hands in her pockets.
“I finished the job today. With the applicants. I turned in the list and told Jonas I won’t be helping with the final interviews. I just wanted you to know that I’m not part of the process anymore. You don’t have to worry about things between us affecting anything to do with your application.”
Oh, great. “Things between us” sounded awfully official—like he’d just asked her to be his girlfriend. He hadn’t, not exactly. The pressure seemed to fill the room.
She looked away, then back at him, concern shining in her eyes. “I’m...glad you’re doing things by the book, I guess, but Chase—you can’t tell anybody about us. It still doesn’t look good. You’ve got to swear.”
Chase knew Tana’s biggest concern was being thought of as someone who’d slept her way to the top. She had integrity. But a smaller, more insidious voice whispered in the back of his mind that it could also be that she was embarrassed to be seen with him. He wasn’t good enough for anything more than a fling.
His ex-girlfriend drove that point home when they split up after the accident. A has-been skier wasn’t an attractive prospect for most women—they’d just stick with him for the money. Even all his money hadn’t been good enough for the ex. He’d overheard her say as much just before they broke up—that without the fame, all he had was money, and the money didn’t make it any better to be around him with his injury.
“I won’t. I promise.” Now he felt like a massive fool. He’d come here with holiday gifts as if he had a right, and what Tana really wanted was for him to back off. Way off.
Tana worried at her bottom lip with her teeth, cheeks still pink. She didn’t look like a woman who wanted nothing to do with him. His body responded despite himself, warring with his mind. “Thank you,” she said softly.
“While you’re thanking me...” Could he be any more awkward in this situation? “Like I said, I brought some gifts for Lindsey. I wanted to get her something.” He stepped forward and handed her two of the gifts, keeping the last one. Hers.
“Oh—thank you, Chase. I’m sure she’ll love anything you’ve picked out. I just wish you hadn’t gone overboard with the skis.”
They stood close together now, the presents the only barrier, and Chase was transfixed. Tana’s dark eyes were the most complicated shade of chocolate and gold he’d ever seen. Her lips were full, perfect...and begging to be kissed. She took shallow breaths.
Chase’s heart pounded. Could he handle another crushing disappointment after his accident? Was Tana worth the risk? It would be the end of him, just like it had been the end of his skiing career. But he couldn’t resist the hot pull between them.
“Here,” he said, his voice thick. “Let me just—” Chase took the packages out of her arms and set them on the kitchen counter, propping the skis in the corner. One step back, and he took Tana in his arms.
She melted into him, tiny moans of pleasure coaxing him toward more. Tana kissed him back, hard. It wasn’t right, he knew it wasn’t right—or at least it was dangerous. But this wasn’t a relationship, was it? This was two adult people who needed each other. Physically.
Tana undid the zipper of his coat and pushed it off his shoulders, and after that it was a race between them to see who could get naked first. Tana won, stripping down to nothing seconds before he stepped out of his pants. Their bodies came together again, and Chase felt like an electric light—burning up everything around them. Bedroom, he thought through the haze of touching her.
Somehow, they made it, though Tana bumped into the wall halfway down. This time, she pushed him back onto the bed and crawled over him, pressing heated kisses onto the ridges of his abs and all way up to the line of his jaw. She kissed him while she reached for her nightstand.
Her arms didn’t quite make it, and he rolled her closer, holding her tight around the waist.
Tana ripped the foil packet open and deftly slid it on for him.
“You don’t have to do that.” He pulled her on top of him and kissed the hollow between her breasts. “I can handle it.”
“It’s done. Don’t think, just—” Tana eased herself down on his length and tipped her head back with a groan. “Move,” she urged. “I have to go soon.”
Chase stopped thinking and started doing, loving the feel of her. The hot slide of her up and down. Their hips meeting. The softness of her skin beneath his hands. The way her nipples peaked when he brushed the pad of his thumb over them. How sweet her voice sounded, saying his name. Her weight kept him grounded in the moment. There was no job out west, no decision to make about what they were or weren’t, nothing but her body and his.
He let her ride him until a pulsing need rose in him. It was his old, physical call—the one that made him go into professional skiing, the one that spurred him on to push off at the top of the hill. Chase sat up, and Tana clung to him as they kissed. Then kissed again. He was so close. It was like he’d been thinking of her nonstop since last night, which in fact, he had.
With her legs wrapped around his waist, he slid off the bed. Holding her like this was worth the pain in his leg. He’d deal with that in the morning. Right now, it was all about Tana.
“Oh, Chase—what are you—what—” Tana could hardly speak. She let out a sigh when her back contacted the wood, and he wanted to hear that sigh every day for the rest of his life. He wanted to feel how she clenched around him. He wanted the sexy pain of her nails biting into his shoulders and the deep, aching pleasure of her orgasm when they were joined. Oh, it was good. It was the best thing he’d ever experienced in his life.
He lost himself to the pleasure, and his release barreled into him at the speed of light. He pushed Tana harder against the door, bracing them both, and rode the wave all the way down to the bitter end. When it was done, he eased her down onto her feet.
Tana let her head fall forward so that her forehead rested on Chase’s collarbone. “I wish I didn’t have a lesson,” she mumbled against his chest. “My legs are going to be jelly.”
“There are worse things.”
She laughed, her shoulders shaking against him. The mood had lifted, lightened, and even though Chase hadn’t come here to have sex with Tana, he was glad he had. They needed it. At least, he needed it. Tana? He wasn’t so sure. But he felt too satisfied to debate all of that again now.
His legs were jelly, too—and he needed to be able to drive his car. Chase stretched his arms above his head and felt her watching him. “Better than coffee. In fact, better than everything.”
“Better than everything?” Tana arched an eyebrow at him.
“Look.” He bent down to kiss her again, trying to memorize the heated softness of her lips. “If I had a few hours with you...a whole night, even...”
“Don’t tease me,” she breathed into his mouth.
“That would be the best.”
Tana put her hands on his neck and let herself lean into him while they kissed, tongues coming together, exploring, dancing. Then she broke it off and put her fingertips to her lips. “I’ve gotta go,” she said, and he could tell she didn’t want to. “Help me get dressed?”
“Absolutely.” He turned on the c
harm he used for guests and ushered her out of the bedroom, making a small detour into the bathroom. Then he knelt in front of Tana in the hall and tugged her panties back into place, kissing her hipbones for good measure while she pulled on her bra. He helped her back into her base layers, which made him inexplicably jealous—why should that fabric get to touch her when he couldn’t? He pulled on his own clothes and came back to guide the snow pants back up her legs. Sticking his feet into his boots made him feel like he was stepping out of a hot shower into a cold room. But it had to be done.
“Come on. You can walk me to my car,” said Tana, laughing.
“Just one thing.” He went to the kitchen counter, grabbed one of the gifts and tucked it under his arm. This would be better to give her somewhere private, not leave under the tree.
Tana watched him curiously. “Are you taking back the presents? Was the sex that bad?”
“No, it was perfect. Like you. I’m saving one for later,” he said, going to the door and opening it wide. “After you, my lady.”
13
Lindsey’s birthday party was a hit. Tana stood in the back room of a small local restaurant called Pizza Mike’s, surrounded by twelve screeching, gleeful six- and seven-year-olds from Lindsey’s class. Pin the Tail on the Donkey had turned out to be a pretty good party game, though she’d worried about it the night before. All the girls were having a killer time spinning each other around and stumbling dizzily toward the wall. It was worth being late to the employee happy hour. Tana took a deep breath and reminded herself not to get stressed over the noise and the rush of the party. It was almost over.
There was a party later at the Elk Lodge, and she couldn’t have been more thrilled. Every time she thought about it, her heart pounded. An adult happy hour, with actual adults. Chase was going to be there. Even Lindsey was getting picked up tonight, so she would have the evening to herself.
Tana’s parents came into the restaurant, talking to each other, and Lindsey waved to them through the glass that separated the party room from the restaurant. They picked their way through the tables—on Friday afternoon, the crowd wasn’t at peak yet, but plenty of people were dining in.