by Leslie North
Chase gaped at her, not liking the sound of her support of getting rid of him. Especially not after he’d been fantasizing about the two of them together and waiting all night for her to arrive.
Tana smiled brightly. “Compared to a place like LA, what reason is there to stay here?”
You. “You’re right,” Chase’s heart broke a little at how confident she sounded. “Tana, can I steal you for a minute? I wanted to run something by you.”
He shook Pete’s hand, and he and Tana slipped out one of the side doors from the ballroom.
“What is it, Chase? Is something wrong?”
He stopped at a door halfway down the hall and opened it, then put an arm around her waist and pulled her onto a windowed alcove. It looked out over the ski hills, lit up for the night by the big floodlights, snow machines on, tossing man-made snow into the air in a glittering fall.
“This,” he said. “This is what I wanted to run by you.” He kissed her, hard, like he might never get another chance. Any kiss could be the last kiss, Chase knew. There was no denying it—he wanted more of the same. He wanted to stay close to her and he wanted her to know it.
But with her mouth on his and her body in that tight little dress, there was no dwelling on it. There was only action. He coaxed her lips open with his tongue and explored her. She tasted new all over again. Fresh. He could do this forever and never get tired of it. A stiff breeze hit the windows.
“Let’s go.” Chase took her face in his hands and looked down into her eyes. Her gorgeous, searching eyes. “My place or yours?”
“My place,” Tana said, her voice dropping a notch into a sexy purr.
They walked as quickly as they dared out to the parking lot, snagging their coats on the way. Chase paused to draw Tana’s over her shoulders, stealing a kiss as he did.
Tana groaned against his mouth. “Don’t do that,” she scolded. “Or I’m not going to make it home.”
“What would you do if you couldn’t make it home?” Chase felt desperate to know and desperate for more, but he shoved that feeling down.
“I’d get cold.” Her eyes shone. “But it would be worth it.”
Inside fifteen minutes, they were at Tana’s place. Chase finally got to peel off Tana’s dress, the way he’d always wanted to do. It was one thing to see a person shed a bunch of snow clothes. It was another to tug the smooth fabric of a dress over her hips and slowly expose the lacy underthings she’d worn beneath it, then pull it over her head and watch her hair tumble back down over her shoulders. He’d wanted to take that dress off from the moment she walked into the party. Inside twenty minutes, they were both naked, the covers of Tana’s bed a mess on the floor. And then Chase didn’t care what time it was. He was all over her, he was inside her, and nothing else mattered.
15
“Come to my place,” Chase whispered early on Saturday morning. Tana had turned over to find him in her bed, taking up most of the mattress. “I want you there.”
“Really?” Tana stretched her arms above her head and yawned. “You don’t want to stay here?”
He laughed. “I thought you’d like the hot tub.”
“I like being in the hot tub with you.” The one problem with Chase was that being around him excited her too much. Sleeping in wasn’t an option with his hard chest against her back. She just wanted to be closer to him. To talk to him. To do other things with him. “I like being in bed, too.”
“Then let’s not get out just yet.”
Tana rolled over, climbing on top of him for the kind of unhurried sex that was so rare she wanted to cry. Chase worked himself in and out of her like they had all the time in the world. She felt every movement, every ridge. She put her hands down onto his chest and braced herself there, rolling her hips in slow circles. His green eyes never left hers. She wanted to close her eyes, but it was so much more intimate watching him like this. Watching the way his body tensed with his impending orgasm, feeling the way his hands tightened on her hips.
Afterward, they climbed into the shower, laughing and making too many soap suds. Tana felt deliciously tired. “I have an idea.” She tipped her head back to rinse the conditioner out of her hair, and even with her eyes closed, she could feel Chase watching her. “Want to hear it?”
“I can’t wait to hear it.” Chase lifted his hands and smoothed the water over her hair, running his hands down the soft skin of her neck. He traced her collarbone.
“I want to...” She took a deep breath. “This is going to sound pretty ridiculous. But...I want to watch TV at your house. You have a big TV. There are other…big things there.”
He burst out laughing. “That’s not ridiculous. I do have the biggest TV.”
Tana opened her eyes. Chase was so gorgeous, with his smile breaking through his stubble, water glistening on his skin. She had never been with a man so muscled and perfect. “I never get to watch TV. I mean, I do, sometimes. But most nights, after Lindsey goes to sleep, I’m too tired to pay attention to anything.”
Chase’s face lit up. “Wear your best TV clothes. We’re not leaving the couch.”
An hour later, Tana was sprawled out on the sofa in Chase’s living room. A fire crackled in the fireplace, and snowflakes drifted down in the sunlight outside the huge windows that took up most of one wall. Tana closed her eyes and soaked all of it in. The perfect temperature of the room. The sound of Chase fiddling in the kitchen. And the prospect of a full day ahead of them with nothing to do but relax.
“You sleeping?” he asked, his voice close, startling her.
Tana had been drifting off into a dream about trees against the moon and a soft blanket. “No,” she answered, opening her eyes. “Ooh—I wouldn’t want to miss coffee.”
“I’ve got doughnuts, too.” Chase handed her the coffee and went to get the plate, which held four flawless glazed doughnuts. He settled in next to her. It was so easy—maybe too easy—for Tana’s body to meld to his. Chase put his feet up on the ottoman, and she leaned against him, his arm over her, and a contentedness laced with sadness suffused her. This couldn’t last. It just couldn’t.
Tana put her coffee down. “I can’t remember the last time someone just...held me like this.” The words fell like the snowflakes outside, delicate and soft. “Can you?” Tana held her breath, wondering if he’d answer. She wasn’t bothered by his pause. They had all the time in the world.
“I can remember. It was high school.” He laughed a little. “Isn’t that pathetic? The last time I felt this close to a woman was in high school. We were both eighteen. She went away to college, and I became a professional skier, and that was the end of it. Who was yours?”
Tana felt safe enough in Chase’s arms to tell him the truth. “Lindsey’s dad. We were married.”
“Wow,” Chase said softly.
“It wasn’t a long relationship. We kind of...crashed together and thought getting married was the best idea either of us had ever had. I got pregnant not long after that. And I—” Tana had never, not once, admitted this part of the truth to anyone. “I told my parents he left as soon as he found out I was pregnant, but the truth is that he waited six months.” Chase stiffened, his arms pulling her in tight. “He left in the middle of the night. I don’t know why I thought it would be better if I lied, but...he did. He just left. I woke up one morning, and he was gone.”
“Oh, Tana. I can’t even imagine.”
“It wasn’t great,” she admitted. “After that, I divorced him and changed my name, and never looked back.”
“And you just went on with your life?”
“I didn’t have another choice. I couldn’t go after my original goals. At least, I didn’t think I could.”
Chase stroked a hand over hers. “What were you going to do...you know, before?”
Tana laughed at the naive dreams she’d had just after college and just before she met her ex-husband. “Well, I majored in business in college with a minor in dance, so I’d be qualified to teach lessons. Those were supposed to be
a backup plan. I was going to open my own business.”
“What kind of business?”
“I don’t know.” She laughed again, and this time, Chase laughed with her. “I thought of a lot of different things. A dance studio. A dancewear boutique. Lots of different kinds of boutiques. But once Lindsey was born, she came first. I didn’t have time to start a business.”
Chase was quiet for a long time. “What’s your long-term plan now?”
The hairs on the back of her arms stood up. Chase’s voice had a low, gravelly quality and she knew he was talking about them. Be brave, she thought. Tell him you want him. “Maybe one day, I’ll open a business, but for now, I’m focusing on getting a promotion here.”
“You like it here, then?”
The image of his face when she’d told him to take the job in LA flashed before her eyes. Chase had been stunned that she’d encourage him to take the job. “I really like it here,” she admitted. “This is the first place I’ve worked where I’m not worried about keeping my job from day to day. It’s the kind of place I could see settling in for the long haul. What about you? Is there any part of you that wants to stay here?”
Tana held her breath. Could he sense that she was also talking about him? Feeling him out? The way he kissed her didn’t seem superficial or shallow or like a fling. But there was only one way to make sure. She watched the snowflakes filter down and pretended to be absorbed in their twirling path to the ground. She was fully attuned to the way Chase was breathing, the way his heart beat hard against her back, and a catch in his breath.
“I’m not sure if it is the place for me.” She’d never been happier to be facing away from him than she was right now.
Tana drew a finger along over his wrist and tried mightily not to take this revelation personally.
“I’ve felt...out of place here since the accident. This is the place where...” He paused, snorting out a sharp breath. “We don’t have to get into this if you don’t want.”
“We do. I told you my plans—you should tell me yours.” She kept her voice light, as though this wasn’t one of the most serious conversations of her life.
“Okay.” Chase shifted, twining his fingers through hers. “This is the place where I fell in love with skiing. But I also fell in love with the idea of moving on. Moving out. I didn’t ever think I’d come back here. It’s like wearing clothes in the wrong size. It just doesn’t fit right.”
“Could it, though? Your brother could probably use more help.”
“I don’t know if he does,” he admitted. “Most of my life, I’ve been here. I learned to ski, I got good at skiing, and it became my career. Now I’m looking for a new one.” Chase hesitated, and Tana wondered what else he was about to reveal. “I’m still not sure I’ve found it yet. The job in LA isn’t perfect, either.”
Hope sprang up deep inside of her. She’d thought the LA job was his dream. “What’s wrong with the job in LA?”
He sighed. “It’s far from all my family except my other brother, Gabe. I’m not thrilled about leaving my grandmother. There’s plenty here to miss, too. I’m worried I’d get out there and realize it wasn’t for me.”
Tana hadn’t had much time for regrets after Lindsey was born. She took the jobs she could find. Any job that would let her take care of her daughter would do. But she knew she’d regret not being honest with Chase. It was only a matter of saying the words.
I want you to stay with me. No. Too much.
I’m falling for you. Way too much.
I think you could be a good father figure for my daughter. This was only getting worse.
“I can see how that would happen,” Tana said. “I’m sure you’ll make the right choice, though.” She settled for not saying anything.
Didn’t he feel this too? How well they fit together? Chase had his gruff, grumpy moments sometimes, but that was nothing Tana couldn’t handle. She wanted to handle it. Maybe that was a ridiculous thing to want, but she did anyway.
Let’s give this a chance. Yes. That was it. That was the perfect thing to say without scaring him off or making him think she wanted to go directly to the courthouse for a marriage license.
Tana opened her mouth to say it, but Chase reached across her. For a moment, Tana thought he might roll them right off the couch and onto the carpet. Chase pulled his hand back and waved the remote in front of her face. “Here’s the choice we need to make now. What to watch?”
“Anything,” she said. “Anything, as long as you don’t make me leave.”
“I wouldn’t,” Chase answered. “You’re not going anywhere until you have watched too much TV.” He rocked her back and pressed his lips to hers. “Until you’re finished with me.”
16
If Tana had been granted one wish, anything in the world, she would have wished for a nap. “Lindsey,” she called. “Are you ready? It’s time to go, honey.”
“I’m almost ready,” her daughter called back, voice tremulous with excitement and nerves. Lindsey had been hyped up for days about this moment, and it was finally here—her turn to have her birthday celebrated in school. So many birthday events, but they’d reached the main one—Lindsey’s actual birthday.
Tana shoved her hair into a low ponytail and swiped on some neutral lipstick. It might look weird to be wearing makeup on the slopes, but it would give her the illusion of being more put-together. She hoped. Stepping out of the bathroom, she found Lindsey perched at the kitchen counter, rearranging the tiny party flags on top of her cupcakes. Don’t overreact. You’re tired. “Linds, leave the cupcakes alone. Where’s your coat?”
“I don’t know.” Lindsey’s eyes were locked on the baked goods.
Tana went back into her daughter’s bedroom and got her backpack and coat. They were going to be late if they didn’t hurry, and she had an early private lesson on the hills.
“Hey, you found it,” Lindsey said, looking up from where she hadn’t moved, more concerned about which flag should go on which cupcake.
“Hon, we have to go right now.” Using too urgent a tone with her daughter almost always backfired, so Tana kept her voice as calm as she could. “Come get your coat on.”
Lindsey hopped down and put her arms out for her coat. So far, so good. Tana had been up until the early hours of the morning last night. She’d started the evening off with baking cupcakes for Lindsey’s celebration at school, then settled in to finalize her presentation for today’s final interview.
Why did school parties and job interviews always coincide like this? Okay, maybe not always, but why was it happening this time? Tana tried not to dwell on it. The bottom line was that she was prepared for the meeting. More than prepared. She’d do great. If only she could stay awake.
“I’m going to carry the cupcakes,” Lindsay insisted. It wasn’t the best idea, but Tana didn’t have the heart—or the energy—to argue. Plus, they were out of time. She held the door open for Lindsey, and the two of them went out into a crisp, cold morning.
“Oh, crap.” Tana turned back—she’d forgotten her keys. A quick dash through the cottage, and she had them in hand. She burst out the front door just in time to see Lindsay trying to open the back door of the car. “Wait, honey, I’ll—”
It was too late. The cupcakes fell, the pan flashing, and Tana’s heart sank. Thirty-four frosted and sprinkled cupcakes hit the side of her car, dragging smears of frosting over the paint. “Nooo!” Lindsey shrieked, trying to grab for them. But it was too late. Her daughter tipped her head back and burst into tears.
“It’s all right.” Tana sprang into action mode, throwing her purse into the front seat and taking her daughter by the hand. “Let’s get cleaned up, and then—”
And then what? They didn’t have time. She hustled Lindsey into the bathroom to wash the crushed remnants of cupcakes off her hands, then led her back out to the car. Tana hopped in the driver’s seat and tried not to crumple in the face of Lindsey’s sobs.
“We’ll stop at the sto
re.” Tana locked eyes with Lindsey in the rearview mirror. She couldn’t send her to school in tears for her big day. No way. “We just have to hurry, okay?”
Tana drove at the very outer edge of the speed limit all the way into town and to the parking lot of the store. It was set back a few blocks from the main drag, which took up extra time, but she was on a mission. They sped by other parents doing the drop-off routine, dodged a school bus, and pulled into the parking lot. Tana’s heart was in overdrive. The two of them leaped out and rushed into the store.
“Hurry, hurry, hurry,” chanted Tana under her breath. The bakery was all the way in back—of course it was. They had a big table laden with desserts but there wasn’t much to choose from, considering almost everything was Christmas themed. Tana grabbed three twelve-packs of cupcakes. “Okay. Let’s buy these and go.”
The machine at the self-checkout threw an error for the baked goods. Lindsey rocked up onto the balls of her feet. “Mom, we have to go—I’m going to be late for school.”
“I know that, hon.” Tana jabbed her card back in the reader. It finally took. She abandoned the receipt, and they went back out, Lindsey’s lap now full of cupcakes. Two extras, even. Go nuts, teachers.
Tana made it to the school in record time. Luckily, the busses had already pulled away for the morning and only the stragglers were arriving. Lindsey got out of the car, and—crap. Putting the cupcakes in her lap had been one thing, but now they looked like too much, and they didn’t need a repeat of the disaster at home. Tana pulled out of the drop-off lane and into another spot. What else, universe? Please don’t let there be anything else today. Not on the day of her interview. There was nothing else Tana could do except carry the cupcakes in herself.
Lindsey and cupcakes safely ensconced at school, Tana got back in her car and sped toward the lodge. Get through a lesson. Get through the interview. She could do this.
At the lodge she changed into her snow gear at lightning speed and headed for the ski shed, coming out the double doors practically at a run. Only three minutes late and after the morning she had? The world had smiled upon her.