by Leslie North
Tana sucked in a deep breath and swallowed back the urge to be sick. This was so much worse than she’d thought. She felt as if the floor had suddenly opened and was trying to swallow her whole. “I didn’t steal anything.” Her voice sounded thick with tears and she hated it.
“You’re officially on a temporary unpaid leave effective immediately. It’s come to our attention you have a history tied to some other robbery charges, which forces our hand to move in this direction while we have the charge investigated.” Jonas dealt the blow without flinching, his steely gaze never leaving her.
Chase hadn’t been brave enough to face this with her. A secondary wave of humiliation hit. He’d known. He’d known this was going to happen and he hadn’t wanted to be there.
“Mr. Elkin, I didn’t steal anything.” Neither one of the men relented, their faces stoic and unyielding. They didn’t believe her. Tana had never felt so alone in her life.
“I want to assure you,” Jonas said, “that you absolutely won’t lose the cottage or your health benefits while things are being investigated. That will only happen if the charges are proven, and we terminate your position.”
“Do what you have to do,” Tana said, biting back everything she wanted to scream. She turned and started for the door. She wanted to break into a run. Anger pulsed along her nerves, lighting them up, and her hands clenched into fists. She dimly heard Jonas call after her, but her pulse pounded in her ears. What did it matter if they had an investigation? She was going to lose it all anyway. That’s how these rich clientele places worked. Reputation over everything. One accusation could ruin Tana’s life. Again.
“Tana, wait.” Chase’s voice echoed from behind her as she entered the lobby. “Please.”
She rounded on him, unsure of what to say.
“Are you all right? Tell me what happened,” he persisted.
Tears slipped from the corners of her eyes. “Do you know already?”
“I know we had a disgruntled client. He came into the office when I was with Jonas, and he brought a newspaper article. He said you stole a bracelet, and then that article—Tana, I don’t believe it. Why didn’t you say something before?”
“Because it was my ex,” she burst out. “He had a part-time job at a store that sold electronics and he’d been accused of stealing. I had no idea. They arrested me as an accomplice.” It had been so mortifying, the anger and embarrassment more than she could bear. Just like now. The tears of rage had dried on her cheeks, leaving salty trails. “I had nothing to do with it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I vouched for you, you must know that I did, but you could have prepared me. You could have said anything.” Confusion raced through his eyes.
“I’m telling you now.” Her voice shook. “I tried not to think about it after his arrest. I packed all my stuff, and—”
“You had so many chances to tell me,” he said, looking violently beautiful in the midmorning sunlight.
Tana broke, sobs bursting from her like a fountain. She felt destroyed. When Lindsey was a baby, she had no choice but to keep it together. And now, here she was ugly crying in the lobby of the lodge.
“The worst part about the whole thing is that I fell in love with you.” Tana couldn’t stop. “I should have known better after the first time I fell in love, but no, I had to go ahead and learn the same stupid lesson all over again.” She had to get to her car and get out of this place. She’d go to her parents’ house and try to figure out her life. “You’ll be pleased to know that we’ll probably never see each other again.”
Tana had to get away from him.
“What? Tana, stop,” he called out as she walked away.
With one last glance back at him, she shook her head. “I have to pick up my daughter from school.”
Tana drove out of the lodge’s parking lot with infinite care. By the time she reached the school, her eyes were still red and blotchy. Lindsey tumbled into the backseat and noticed it instantly.
“Are you okay, Mom? Did you fall?”
“I didn’t fall. I just had…a hard discussion with Chase.” And I’m probably going to get fired. “Sometimes, grown-ups have hard discussions.” She smiled at Lindsey in the mirror. “Everything will work out one way or the other.”
If only Tana could believe that, too.
19
It was an hour-long drive to where Tana’s parents lived, and every fifteen minutes, she thought she’d gotten over the emotional outpouring. Then the hurt and the heartbreak would come rushing back in, and she’d turn up the radio and sing loudly. It didn’t matter if it was off-key. Lindsey watched Frozen on her tablet, weeping. She kept repeating how much she wanted to go back and see Chase.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t her home anymore. But she knew that when she knocked on the door, everything would be okay. Or at least partially okay. It would at least be a place where she could wallow in self-pity, something long overdue. This day had gone so far off the rails she still couldn’t believe it. The old specter of her past had reared its ugly head, and this time, she didn’t know if she could shake it off. She’d rather leave than face this again.
She changed lanes around a van with a ski rack on top and switched the radio station, too. Lindsey needed her to be at her best, and this was most certainly not her best. She just needed a minute or two. Maybe an hour or two.
Several times she considered calling her mother to warn her she was coming, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. It felt too much like the times she’d had to call them after Lindsey was born, asking for help. She’d find out soon enough anyway.
They pulled into the driveway as the afternoon light was beginning to fade. That was good—Lindsey wouldn’t fight bedtime as hard if it was dark, and Tana needed time to collect herself. She had enough from the house to stay for a few days without needing to get any extra supplies.
Through the front window of her parents’ house, Tana saw her mother sitting in the living room, reading a book. As a kid, she’d taken her parents’ relationship for granted because they’d always been so comfortable together. Their routine pleasant, orderly, and happy. Something she would never have with Chase. How could she even have hoped for it? Her heart was a silly creature.
Tana helped Lindsey out of the car. “Are we there?” Lindsey rubbed at her eyes. “We were driving for a long time.”
“Yes, we’re here.” Tana took her hand and led her up to the front door, where she knocked. For one horrible instant, Tana thought her parents might not be happy she was showing up unannounced, but then her father opened the door, a big smile on his face.
“My favorite granddaughter.” He opened his arms wide and Lindsey ran to him. “And my daughter’s not so bad, either.” He looked from one to the other, and Tana caught the slight concern in his eyes. “I take it you’re here for the night?”
“A couple of days maybe, if that’s okay?” Lindsey would have to miss a few days of school, but it couldn’t be helped. When was she going to be old enough to make it on her own? Was that ever going to happen?
“It’s always okay,” he said, pulling her in for a hug, and kissed her temple. “My girls can come here anytime.”
“Is that Tana? I saw a car pull up in the driveway.” Her mother, book still in hand, came out and surveyed the scene. “It is. Hi, girls.”
“Hi, Grandma.” Lindsey let out a huge yawn.
“Let’s go into the guest bedroom, Lindsey,” her dad suggested. Code for giving Tana and her mom a chance to talk. “Do you have a show you want to watch?” He led Lindsey away with a backward glance and a thumbs-up.
“Frozen 2. I just watched the first one in the car. And it’s not really a show, it’s a movie, but I really like movies.” Lindsey followed him down the hall.
Tana was exhausted and wished she could go straight to bed, but that wouldn’t be the case, and she knew it.
Her dad closed the door to the guest bedroom softly, and for the second time that day, Tana felt something insid
e of her snap. She’d been done crying, and now her face was leaking sadness. Tana slapped a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle the sobs, and a moment later, her mother’s arms went around her.
“Come here, Tana. Let’s sit down. It’ll be all right. Whatever it is, it’ll be all right,” her mother said, trying to soothe her the same way she’d always done.
The two women sat together on the sofa, Tana’s mom rubbing her back as she cried. Every time she took a deep breath, a fresh wave of sobs came up. Time became meaningless. After what seemed like forever, the awful pressure in her chest subsided. Tana took a fresh tissue from her mom and wiped her eyes.
“You want to talk about it?”
Tana took a shuddering breath. It was now or never, wasn’t it? She couldn’t stand to have this conversation more than once, even with her own mom. “I met a guy at the resort.” One sentence and the floodgates were opened. She told her mother everything. That first meeting on the ski slopes. Staying at his house. How Chase had such a different life from her own. The job application, the presentation—all of it. She told her about her ex, about the arrest, the theft, and the way she’d been left behind. Including falling in love. Tana tried to hold her broken heart together with both hands. Losing Chase was the worst.
“And now I might need to move in with you again.” Tana had reached the part of her story that she’d desperately wanted to avoid. The job at the Elk Lodge was supposed to seal the deal and make sure she never got to this place again. “If things don’t work out with the job. I know how these places work.”
“We’ll figure everything out. It just takes a little time,” her mom said. “We love having you. It’s not an imposition at all, Tana. You can both stay as long as you need.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. It might not be an imposition for her mother, but it felt like giving up. Tana wanted to sink into the sofa and never get out again. “I don’t want to put this on you, but I have to play it safe while I find a new job.”
“I understand. I really do.” Tana’s mom gathered her into a big hug.
But Tana had a hollow pit in her stomach. She was doomed to be alone forever—that was the lone truth at the bottom of everything else that had gone wrong.
“Mommy?” Lindsey appeared at the living room door, dressed in a fresh set of Frozen pajamas. Her parents—they were the heroes in all this. They were always waiting to catch Tana when she fell. If only she could stop falling.
“Hey, honey. What’s up?”
Lindsey padded across the room, her small brow crinkled. “Just call Chase. Make things better. I miss him.” Her daughter’s dark eyes met hers, and Tana wanted badly to tell her that it would be fine. That they could see him the next morning. But she didn’t know if she wanted to go back to that place. The old humiliation of being arrested seemed imprinted on the Elk Lodge now.
“I do too. But I don’t think we can see him. It’s just not the right time.”
The agonized wail that came from her daughter tore into Tana’s heart, shattering what was left of the little pieces. Tears were an endless resource, it turned out, and Lindsey had plenty of them. “I want to go back and see Chase,” she sobbed into Tana’s shoulder.
Her mom stood and went into the kitchen. Hopefully she’d have an idea to see them through this, because Tana was at a loss.
“I want my ski lessons. I want my skis,” Lindsey sobbed.
“We’ll get the skis,” she whispered fiercely in her daughter’s ear. “Of course I’m not going to leave your skis behind. But lessons...” The only words she had for Lindsey were the ones her mother had given her. “We’ll figure everything out.”
It didn’t seem to make Lindsey feel any better, and Tana understood it deeply. At this moment, knowing that they would figure things out wasn’t enough. They still needed to grieve the things they’d lost. Tana’s own dreams about the Elk Lodge and Chase and the future had been crazy, and Lindsey more than likely had her own fantastic vision for the future.
But she reminded herself sternly as she stroked Lindsey’s hair and whispered into her ear, she couldn’t keep letting this shake her. What Lindsey needed now was a mother who had her life together. Someone who knew what was going to come next and tackled it without melting down. Feelings had merit—they did. She’d tried to instill that in her daughter. Still, there came a time when wallowing in feelings of heartbreak wasn’t productive. It wouldn’t do anyone any good.
Tana had broken her daughter’s heart for the last time. There would be no more passionate flings with men—not that she had them often, but now, that was all done. There would be no more casual friendships that led her daughter to believe that Tana would live happily ever after with a man who’d become her daddy.
The future stretched out in front of her, and as much as Tana was determined to do it by herself, it seemed...bleak. Empty. It wasn’t empty, of course. She’d have her parents, and she’d have Lindsey. She’d have a lot of hard work to do to get them back on their feet. The fierce burst of energy she’d had a minute ago faded.
“It’ll be all right,” she told Lindsey again. “Because we have each other.”
As the words came out of her mouth, a bone-deep weariness settled over Tana’s body. God, she was so tired of being alone, even if it was the right thing to do for her daughter. Tana’s throat went tight and her face heated. Oh, no—not again. She took a set of deep breaths—one, two, three, four, release—and calmed herself.
In that calm, another question surfaced among her thoughts. Maybe she hadn’t paused to think about what Chase’s position was in all of this. She’d driven away from him without giving him the chance to tell her what had happened. Tana had left him in the rearview mirror and not looked back. Maybe she should go to him, give him a chance.
No. Tana wasn’t going to make that kind of decision tonight. Maybe not ever. What she was going to do was take care of her daughter and take care of herself.
“Are you hungry, sweetheart?” Lindsey nodded against her shoulder and rested her forehead there, the familiar warmth of her settling into Tana’s skin. “Then let’s eat, and we’ll go to bed. It’ll all look so much better in the morning.”
By the time Tana tucked her daughter into bed, she knew what she had to do. There was no way she was going through this again. She might not be able to avoid talking to the police or the press, but she was innocent. And she was tired of being falsely accused and dragged into the mud by others. Even if she was charged, they had no proof since she hadn’t done anything wrong, but it wouldn’t stop the other employees and her bosses from wondering.
It was time to leave and start over. Just like before. She’d pack up her belongings and turn in her resignation once she’d fully moved out of the cottage, but she was done with the Elk Lodge. And Chase.
20
Chase sank into his sofa with a sigh. That hadn’t gone well.
The sun was finally sinking beneath the horizon on what turned out to be the longest day of his life. Tana had stormed off and left him there in the lobby, and she’d been right to do it. Leaving Jonas’s office had been a huge mistake. He picked up his phone for the hundredth time and scrolled through the apps to his gallery. He pulled up photos of Tana and Lindsey. He’d taken them one day after her lessons, when she and Lindsey had skied together. They’d goofed off at the top of the hills by the chairlift, making faces for the camera and laughing. Lindsey had worn her brand-new Frozen skis. The picture twisted at his heart.
The doorbell rang, and Chase got up so quickly his phone tumbled to the ground. If it was Tana at the door—
His grandmother stood there, dressed neatly in a winter coat. She looked him up and down. “Hello, Chase,” she said finally. “I was wondering if you had time for a quick chat.”
He and his grandmother were almost never at odds, but right now he felt like a giant disappointment. If she told him he’d screwed things up royally for everybody involved, well...it wouldn’t be anything he hadn’t already told
himself.
“Of course I do.” He stepped back to let her in. “Want to sit in the living room?”
“Sure, but I’m not staying long. I have a few things to say to you.” His grandmother stepped out of her boots and folded her coat over her arm. She’d had the same coat for about ten years now, refusing to get another one on the grounds that it was perfectly fine. A woman of wealth who refused to spend it on what she considered excess.
Chase followed her back to the living room, where she took a seat in the wide armchair opposite the couch.
His grandmother cleared her throat. “Listen to me carefully. I have always loved you, and you know that.”
“I do,” he said miserably, sitting down on the couch to face her. “I love you, too.”
“And it’s not because you were a fantastic skier, though, of course, you were.” His grandmother smiled at him, and the warmth in her expression eased some of the pain in his heart. She’d spoken in the past tense and for the first time it didn’t seem to matter as much. “I’ve loved you because you’re my grandson and because you have so many wonderful qualities. My favorite thing about your skiing career was that it let you showcase your persistence. Your dedication.”
She shook her head, her eyes going distant. “You’ve always gone after the things you wanted most with your whole heart, and it never seemed to matter that you won or made lots of money. It was about doing your best. And giving everybody around you your best.”
Chase swallowed a lump in his throat. Maybe he’d been that person once. “I—I don’t know what to say.” He felt wretched about it. Torn up. “That hasn’t been how.... things have gone lately.”
“Maybe not,” his grandmother said diplomatically. “Things have been hard. But I know deep inside you’re still my fierce and determined grandson. And I’m here mainly to suggest that you could apply that determination to make sure the woman you love doesn’t get away.” She looked him directly in the eye. “I heard all about what happened with Tana and I don’t believe a word of what that man says, but I also need to stand by Jonas until the investigation is over. However, no investigation should keep you from going after the woman you love. I’d sure love to have her sweet daughter as my great-grandchild before I die.”