by Yuriko Hime
The cafe had a different feel about it tonight, or maybe it wasn't so much the vibe but because of the new arrangement. The chairs had been pulled to the side so there was a wide space in the middle. Most of the tables were missing. "Did you do all these?" I asked granny. She was flipping the sign on the window from 'close' to 'open' when I ran into her. She shrugged and moved to the counter.
After leaving my bag on a chair, I went out to take a short walk. It was important to stretch my muscles. I always did it before a cheering competition too, so in a way, it was just a continuation of the tradition. It was full house on the cafe when I returned. Lynx and Julia were on different sides of the room, both attending to other people. No clue hinted if they arrived together or not, and I was too focused on what moves I needed to perform to care. I was a different predator altogether, not quite feeling nervous, pure anticipation and winning on my mind. I've psyched myself for this. She was going down.
When everyone who was needed was accounted for, they didn't waste time to get started. The presiding host was the girl I've talked to the other night. The one who told me about Julia. She was still wearing her bonnet and scarf, fixing it as she went to the center of the floor. The conversation ceased to give way for her.
"I know you're all excited," she said, sounding the part. "So am I. Tonight we're going to witness a dance-off between two contestants." She motioned to Julia. "Our first contender is a much sought out student of the performing arts, a dancer, a success, Lynx's past and could be present." Lynx fixed the girl a cold stare. She gulped and continued. "On the other corner, we have Scotland. Our very own interviewer. Beautiful, painfully hot, and Lynx's new flame." This time it was Julia who glared at her. The girl's smile froze. "Anyway, the songs are already chosen. Should we draw lots, or does anyone want to go first?"
Julia, slender and tall under her black long sleeves leotards, stepped to the center. Her hair was tied on a bun like the other night, and from her poise and confidence, she was used to receiving this kind of attention. She didn't bat her eyes when her shapely body, more glaring under the tight clothes, were examined by the audience. "I'll go first," she said. "Music please." Julia put both arms up, chin tilted high, and waited for the song to play.
It started slow, like the gentle flapping of butterfly wings. Julia stepped and moved with grace on the floor, as if she was the very butterfly, hopping from flower to flower. Her movements were perfect and deliberate, soft and enchanting. I hated to admit it, but my mother would probably pay to watch this kind of performance.
When the music picked up, the butterfly transformed into a bee, its flying dangerous but alluring. The moves changed complexity. Fouette, grand adage, grand jete. She did all of these without a sweat, like she was born to dance and perform on the stage. Not once did I remove my stare from her, and by the time the music was over, even Lynx was clapping with the crowd. Julia bowed a ballerina's bow. A small appreciation to the people who watched her.
"That was absolutely stunning!" the emcee applauded. "It's hard to top that one, but we haven't seen Scotland's moves before. Let's give her the floor."
I went to the middle as Julia made her exit, taut and ready for the battle, sweat on my upper lip. There was a rush on my ear in that small space between waiting and suspense, before the music actually came on. If Julia was the butterfly, I was the hummingbird, propelled by the wind. I moved my body to the tempo, closed my eyes, feeling the music go in tune with the rhythm of my heart. I might not be a ballerina like Julia, but I had the discipline and the will to overcome her.
The music sped up, and the hummingbird was caught on a tornado, twisting, spinning round and round. I smiled to myself, feeling the euphoria lap at me in waves. It was the most fun I'd had in a while. Spin. Spin. The world was my oyster. I opened my eyes to see their reactions, searching for that one opinion that counted. My smile faltered. What should have been my moment was stolen by Julia. Lynx was blind to my performance as she talked to her.
The hummingbird was suddenly exhausted. She could no longer fight the wind. Her wings were too heavy. The tornado eventually won over her, and she stumbled, surrendered, sliding on the floor. I was out of breath as I stared at the ceiling, panting. What just happened?
The emcee rushed to me. "Are you alright?" she asked. The light overhead was blurry when I blinked. She and her friend pulled me up to a sitting position. "I guess we all know who won the first round," she said to the stunned audience.
Chapter 29
When the creator of all things in the universe divided the feeling of embarrassment among humans, I was probably the last one in line. I could have been busy comparing my shiny hair with some other girl's to notice that there was a line in the first place. "Oh look. My hair changes colors with the seasons. Yours doesn't," I would have said. Or I could have been searching for Casper, wherever the place of conception was, just so I could torment him before we were born.
My point with all these was to tell you that my embarrassment was next to none, if you wouldn't factor in Lynx and all the humiliations she'd subjected me to since knowing her. I didn't get hot in the face because I was shy. I didn't get shaky. None of those bull crap.
When they pulled me up from my slip on the dance floor, I wasn't ashamed, but angry at myself. I've practiced hard for this. It could have been perfect. But it wasn't, and my carelessness cost me the first round. Like the trained dancer she was, used to pulverizing her competition, Julia quietly slid to her chair and crossed her legs. That only meant one thing. She didn't perceive me as a threat anymore. In her head she'd already won, and that made me furious.
"Can you still go on?" the emcee said, watching my face carefully. She turned to the crowd when I didn't answer and signaled for a time out. I saw their disappointed faces as they shuffled away to find a seat. There wasn't supposed to be a break this early.
None of them stopped me when I headed to the front door. Why would they? The loser should be left alone to her misery.
I had barely made it to the street when the cafe's door tinkled behind me. "I told you not to go through with this," Lynx said, her voice starkly loud in the empty street. She could whisper all she wanted, and I'd still hear her. "You're wasting your time with—" She stopped midsentence when I swiveled to her. My eyes could be unbearably icy like daddy's and the rest of the Roth's when we felt threatened. And right then I was backed to a corner, not only by a lynx, but by a parasite named Julia. Lynx's shoulders sagged. "I'm not going to change your mind, am I?"
I clenched my fist, gritted my teeth. "You distracted me."
"I beg your pardon."
"I said, you distracted me." There was pure venom in my voice. If she hadn't talked to Julia, if she wasn't giving that smile, if she hadn't been on the other woman's team, I wouldn't have fallen. Four negatives in one sentence. My English teacher would kill me. But not until I've won this contest, and Lynx was a bigger distraction than I have calculated. "Go away," I said. Where did that come from? What was I, a child? I bit my tongue. There could have been a million comebacks for this scene and all I said was go away.
Lynx looked like she wanted to say something else, something to appease me, or maybe to raise my hackles a bit more. She decided not to be wise with me instead. I was still giving her the laser eyes. "Don't go far," she murmured.
I waited for her to go back to the cafe before I slumped beside the trash bin on the sidewalk, left out there for the collectors to see. July, or whatever that guy's name was would laugh. 'It's a metaphor,' he'd say. 'Cause you're trash.' I didn't make it a habit to think low of myself, but give me this short moment to be dramatic. Crashing and burning wasn't something you'd get over within a short period of time.
It was in those self-directed anger and pity that I looked up and noticed someone hiding behind a tree. Why did she bother? Her bone structure was too big for the thin trunk to conceal. Like three fourths of her body was showing, Jesus Christ. "Just come out," I said, too tired to get worried that someone was spyi
ng. "Who are you and what are you doing there?" A curly-haired girl of around sixteen or seventeen came out of her hiding place, sheepish and fidgety. Our age couldn't have been that far apart, though her innocent face made her appear a lot younger. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"
She twiddled her fingers. "My parents won't notice that I'm gone." I signaled for her to come closer. I could have sworn that I've seen her once or twice in the cafe before but haven't paid much attention because of how busy I was with other things. "I came here to support you." She rushed one word after another, like she wasn't sure if I'd listen so she might as well blurt it out. The girl unzipped her sling bag and brought out a blue energy drink. "Drink this," she offered. "It's not poisoned or anything."
It was funny how she'd assume that I'd think that. I took the bottle so it wouldn't feel awkward and drank. The liquid was cool and lemony, sliding on my throat like a balm. "Thanks," I said, wiping my mouth. My chest was lighter somehow. The drink helped a lot. "Who are you again?"
Her face reddened. "Yeah, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. They call me Pudgy." She shifted her foot. "Cause you know, I'm fat." She started to unbutton her Hawaiian shirt. Was she going to strip here? A female exhibitionist? It certainly looked like that.
"Hey. Hey, what are you doing?" I said. I tried to stop her, really, but she ripped the Hawaiian shirt Superman style before I could. Her motive was clearer when she showed me the t-shirt underneath. I breathed a sigh of relief. She was probably warm under all that.
"Please, please don't think I'm a freak," she said. Why? I took a closer look at the t-shirt. Scotland Rocks, it said in rainbow colors. Okay, she wasn't an exhibitionist. A weirdo maybe?
"I won't think you're a freak," I placated. "But you have to tell me why you're wearing that shirt and what your real name is. Pudgy is an awful nickname. You shouldn't let anyone call you that. You're a person, not a body type, and I think you're on the big bone side. You just have to lose the baby fat which will happen naturally as you get older. Health 101."
Her mouth widened into a grin. "Oh my gosh." She clapped a hand on her cheek. "It's really you! My username is anon143, and I've been following your website forever."
That came out of nowhere. I had to configure my brain to understand what she was raving about. Wasn't she here for the dance?
"The website for lesbians," she said, giving me a clue. "The one you created for your study as additional information? I've been reading your findings on how you debunked the misconceptions about us, and your ongoing interview with the LGBT. I talked to the other followers who've seen you in person and found out that you often stay at the cafe. Since then I've been going to the shop hoping to talk to you."
This was a pleasant surprise. I didn't know that my research was paying off. "It's still in its early stages," I said. "But I'm glad that people are beginning to notice. It could do so much worse."
"Except it's not. You're gaining a huge audience." The girl concentrated on the energy drink on my hand. She still hasn't told me her real name. "What happened back there?" she asked, changing the subject. "I expected so much better from you." My balloon of happiness from talking to her deflated. Back to reality for me. I'd almost forgotten that I lost the first round to Julia. "Sorry, I should have worded that better. It's not your fault that you fell," she said. "What I didn't expect you to do was to storm out here and sulk. I mean, you don't know me, but like I said, I've been following your findings. I don't think someone as cool and smart as you are would give up that easily."
Cool and smart. This girl looked up to me. "I'm beginning to think I'm not all that," I admitted.
"But you are," she said. "People like me are inspired by you."
"You shouldn't."
She took my hand and tugged. "Come on, Scotland, do this for us." She looked so hopeful that I didn't have it in my heart to disappoint her. How could I? It didn't feel right.
The energy drink fell from my lap as I stood. "I'll win the next two rounds," I promised. "Thanks for the encouragement."
I've always doubted the existence of angels. I'd like to see them first before assuming anything. But tonight as I went back to the cafe to face my opponent, I believed that I've finally seen an angel. The girl I was talking to didn't follow me in. She and her shirt were gone when I turned back. The only reminder of her had been the energy drink on my hand and the confidence that she restored in myself.
I wasn't bothered with Lynx or Julia anymore. Why should I care who sided with who? Lynx and I weren't together. If she didn't want to be friends either, fine by me. I stretched my hand towards the ceiling as I approached the emcee. She was obviously delighted to see me come back. "I hope you're ready for the next round, Scotland." She leaned to me. "Between you and me, personally, I'd like to see you win. We're all shipping you and Lynx. Julia is one big has been, and shouldn't have called you a bimbo. We know how intelligent you are."
"Thanks," I said. "Can I go first?"
"Sure thing." The emcee put a hand on my shoulder and twisted me to face the crowd. "The competition is on, everybody." She pushed me to the center of the room. Everyone left their chairs to circle closer, giving me a space only wide enough to dance. A hip hop song played on the speaker. This was my kind of dance. I shed off the anger, the doubts, the bitterness, and erased Lynx and Julia's memory as I began.
The hummingbird from earlier didn't exist anymore. There was only me, the beat, and the moment. My style was jazz and street, combined in symphony so I could shake my hips. I'd practiced this a million times, learning from my former teammates who were notorious for their street credibility. I didn't have trouble spinning, and flipping, and for the last move, an air flare with only my arms to support my body as the rest cycled out of control like a helicopter.
There was a fine sheen of sweat on my forehead as I landed on both feet and stood up perfectly. My cropped top had been caught up, exposing my sports bra. I smirked at Lynx before pulling my shirt down. 'You should have bet on me,' I said with that one look. Who's losing to who now? Julia tried not to let her annoyance show when she marched to the center of the cafe as I retreated. I hope she understood that a person didn't have to be enrolled in her school to be called the best. Word.
The emcee wiped an invisible sweat from her own forehead. "That was so intense!" she said. I went to a chair to rest while she turned to Julia. "We're looking forward to you topping that. DJ, give us a beat!"
It was visible that Julia was more comfortable with other styles. She was a great dancer, yes, but not when it came to hip hop. I didn't want you to see this performance, so for the most part, I'd tell you that she did okay-ish. She stormed to the washroom without waiting for the announcement of the winner when she was done. The emcee nodded to me and beamed. "This round belongs to Scotland!" she proclaimed. The breath I've been holding was released. There was only one mountain to climb before I won.
I shuffled through my things and wiped my face with the towel while we waited. What should I dance for the last round? Salsa? Jazz? Another hip hop? It was going to be tricky. I hadn't completely made up my mind when Julia re-emerged from the washroom, smirking to herself. What was she so happy about? She and the emcee had a short discussion in low voices. When they were done, Julia moved away to give room for the announcement. "Julia wants to go first," the emcee said. They both turned to me. "Is that okay with you?"
I dumped my towel back to the bag. "Sure, whatever," I said. What did Julia have in mind? The emcee went to the music handler and whispered an instruction. I knew what was up the second the sound echoed throughout the cafe.
Julia's stance morphed to accompany the music. Her gaze pierced on Lynx and Lynx alone, a come-hither look that gave me goosebumps. People were barely breathing as she pursued her target predatory style, climbed on top of the counter, and gave Lynx a performance that should only be legal at strip clubs.
Jealousy unfurled in my chest like poison ivy emerging on the ground when she undulated her hips. The feeling rose to my le
gs, my stomach, and consumed me until I was nothing but an envious sack of meat. Was that how they were in the past? Was that how Julia looked at her, played with her, satisfied her? Thinking about my next move wasn't important after all, because whatever I did, it would never surpass her. Why did I agree to this contest? Was it really to prove that I was better than her, or was it something unrelated? Either way, I'd never felt so insignificant.
I had a recollection of the music stopping; of the crowd breathing out together, as if they've been part of the seduction with Lynx. The emcee fanned a hand on her face. "Whew," she said. "What a hot performance from Julia. I wonder what Scotland will do to win this." That makes the two of us.
I turned my head away and chewed my lips. Was I giving up? Was this the end of Scotland Roth's winning streak? Was I not as good as I thought? The girl I talked to outside came to mind. She had so much faith in me, so much admiration. A small inspiration surged in my heart. I wasn't going down without a fight. That wasn't how Scotland rolled.
The people could have expected another hip hop song, or perhaps a raunchier music to beat Julia's, but whatever they were thinking, it definitely wasn't a slow song. Their faces reflected their confusion as I went to Lynx behind the counter, smiled vaguely, and bowed. "Care for a dance?" I said, offering my hand. I never thought I'd do this dressed in such attire, on a space where there wasn't much room to maneuver on, and with a person that had wormed her way into my life without my permission. Lynx cocked her head before taking my arms. On the art of dance, she stepped into the role of the lead.
Her hand slid to my waist, and another on the small of my back. "Relax," she said, giving me one of her infamous scolding stare. "You're too rigid." She swayed us to the music.