Love Most Inconvenient

by D. J. Manly

  “Would it help if I said I was sorry?”

  “You need to say that to her.”

  “Yes, yes. Take me to her and I’ll tell her.” He lifted his head off the pillow, nodding enthusiastically.

  “Not so fast. What about the baby?”

  “I’ll talk to her about that. I’ll help out any way I can. Okay? Won’t you untie me now?” he asked hopefully. “Look, I’m callous. I’m a big jerk, really. I’m not a nice guy. I’ll do the right thing. I’ll give her money, go to prenatal classes, even change diapers.”

  Mark tilted his head. “You’ve got to stop thinking with your cock.”

  “I will. I will stop thinking with my cock. I’ll forget I even have a cock. I promise. Now, could you please untie me?” He gave Mark a big smile.

  “You won’t hurt me if I untie you?”

  “You taught me a lesson. I won’t forget. You’d make a great preacher. Your sister should be so proud. Please untie me.”

  Mark moved closer. “You really understand why I did this? You won’t call the police or anything?”

  “No. That would be too embarrassing.”

  “I knew that. It’s what I told Frankie.”

  “Who’s Frankie again?”

  “My brother.”

  “Oh. Where is he right about now?”

  “Not here,” Mark said. “I won’t go into that. He told me not to worry, said that you wouldn’t go to the police. I was worried, you know … it’s not like I do this kind of thing every day.” Mark began to untie one ankle. “I hope we can be friends, Christopher. If Julie decides to keep the baby, you’ll want to be in the baby’s life and well, you’ll be family.”

  “Right, right,” Dane said, watching anxiously as Mark undid the other ankle, then moved up to his wrist. When he had undone one wrist, it was all Dane could do not to reach out and grab him and choke the shit out of him, but he controlled himself. When he was finally free, he sat up on the side of the bed, rubbed his wrists and looked at him. The anger came bubbling up inside suddenly like a volcano.

  “How’s your head?”

  “It hurts,” he said between clenched teeth, feeling his pulse throb in his jaw. He stood up. That little bastard had probably made him blow this case, a case he’d been working on for months now with that ingrate Charlie.

  Mark took a step back.

  “Are you scared of me?” He gave him a sinister smile.

  “N … no.”

  “Well, you should be, you stupid fucking little prick, because I’m about to kick your ass!”

  Mark cast one alarmed look back at him, then headed out of the bedroom on the run. “You said you wouldn’t hurt me,” he called out, bolting out the door with Dane on his heels.

  “Wrong,” he bellowed, chasing him down the stairs, “you said I wouldn’t hurt you.”

  *

  Mark’s heart was racing. The enraged man on his heels was a hell of a lot bigger than he was. Twice he’d already grabbed hold of Mark’s T-shirt. There was no way he was going to be able to outrun this guy; not to mention, he was fighting mad.

  Mark ran in the direction of the lake, probably not the best plan. He stopped when he reached the water, looking desperately around for any type of weapon. The only thing he could find was a short, stubby piece of wood. He held it out in front of him, waving it in a way he figured at least looked threatening. “Come near me and I’ll use it.”

  Dane came to a dead halt. Suddenly, a smirk appeared on his mouth. “What exactly do you plan on doing with that?”

  “I … I … don’t know, but don’t try me.”

  The man folded his arms across his chest. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve caused me?”

  “You didn’t mean anything you said back there, did you?”

  “Not a word of it. I’m not your sister’s lover. Mark, I don’t do women. I’m gay.”

  “Gay?”

  “Yeah. And would a straight man say that, given how homophobic and paranoid some of them are?”

  “I … I … I don’t know.” Mark waved the stick at him. “You’re desperate enough to say anything to get out of your responsibility.”

  “Mark. Put down the stick.” He came towards him.

  “You’re going to…”

  “It’s okay. Put it down because if you whack me with that, I will kill you.”

  “Okay.” He took a step back.

  “Do you believe that you got the wrong guy?”

  “I … I’m not sure, but I’ve done all I can. I give up.”

  “Now, you’re going to drive me back to that diner.”

  “So, you are Christopher,” Mark accused, narrowing his eyes.

  “I’m not Christopher. Stop calling me that,” Dane snapped.

  “Then what do you want to go back to the diner for?”

  “That’s my business. Come on. On top of that,” he held out his hand, “give me your car keys.”

  “I’m not giving you anything.”

  “Mark, give me your car keys.”

  Mark took another step back, just as Dane took hold of his T-shirt. “No. I can’t let anyone drive Frankie’s car.” He resisted. The other man held on tight. Mark stumbled back and they both fell into the lake. They struggled. Dane began frantically searching Mark’s pockets. When he took out the car keys, Mark grabbed at his hand, trying to take them back. Suddenly, they went flying through the air and landed in the middle of the lake.

  Dane let out a howl of frustration. “Shit!” He dived under the water, trying to find the keys while Mark waded out of the lake, trying to catch his breath.

  “Fuck, God damn it!” Dane roared, coming out of the water, his jeans soaking wet.

  Mark stood there, glaring at him. “That was bright,” Mark accused, “now we’ve lost the car keys.”

  “You’re the dummy who backed up into the goddamned lake,” Dane said, undoing his jeans.

  “What are you … what are you doing?” Mark demanded as the man in front of him pushed his jeans over his hips.

  Dane paused and looked at him. “I’m taking off my pants, then I’ll going to hot-wire that car.”

  Mark turned his back. “You can’t get naked here.”

  “Why, Mark,” he sniggered, “are you getting turned on?”

  “Get real. You’re not that cute.”

  “Yeah, well, I saw you checking out my package back there. You mentioned my cock twice, maybe even more than that.”

  “I was not…” Mark turned around to see him standing there stark naked, wringing out his underwear. Oh my God! He had the cutest ass, not to mention the substantial size of his … Mark cleared his throat. “Anyway”—he averted his eyes—“just because a man has a … you know … is well … let’s say equipped, doesn’t make him attractive … I mean … totally attractive. It’s all right if you like that kind of thing, but…”

  Dane was looking at him curiously, eyes narrowed.

  “Well,” said Mark, throwing up his hands in frustration, “you’d understand what I was saying if you were really gay, like you claim.”

  When a hand reached out and grabbed his arm, Mark didn’t expect it. He was snatched up against a strong, naked chest, and held fast. The man’s mouth came down hard on his, the kiss hard and passionate. He found his mouth opening to his hungry lips, meeting his tongue in a fiery dance of need. Suddenly, he was released.

  Mark stood there dazed. He was speechless.

  “Are you convinced now? Is that gay enough for you? You need more proof? I can give it to you if you want.”

  “Ah, give it to me…” Mark murmured, still lost in that kiss. “I mean, ah, no … don’t, that’s okay.” He took a few steps back, slowly returning to reality.

  “There is still enough sun,” he said, as if nothing at all had happened. “I’ll just stretch my jeans out on the rock and they should dry.”

  “Why don’t you have a shirt on?” Mark blinked.

  “I lost it when you clobbered me with th
e door. I was in the process of putting it back on. You owe me a T-shirt.”

  “I have something for you to … wear.” Mark headed for the cabin. Shit, he couldn’t just let the guy parade around naked in front of him, although he didn’t seem to be at all shy about it. Then why should he? The guy had the body of a god: hard, all muscle, all those hills and valleys in just the right places. And he’d kissed him. Jesus. He’d actually kissed him.

  Mark hunted in the bedroom closet and found some bathing trunks. He supposed he’d have to take off his wet clothes as well. His eyes went to the blanket. He’d wrap himself in that. There was no way he was prancing around naked in front of this guy. Gay. He said he was gay. Well, he had to be at least bisexual, because that was no straight man kiss, not that he’d ever been kissed by a straight man.

  “What are you doing?”

  Mark turned around to see him standing in the door. He averted his eyes and held out a pair of bathing trunks. “Here. You can put these on?”

  “You think?” He took them, stretching them out in the air. “What are these, child’s size?”

  “No. They belong to me. It’s better than being naked. And I resent that remark.”

  “Sorry.” He gave him an innocent smile.

  He was too damn good-looking for his own good … pure, one hundred percent male and pure, one hundred percent trouble. He could understand why Julie fell for him. “Does Julie know you’re bi?”

  “Does Julie know I’m what?” He was still examining the bathing trunks curiously.

  “Bi. You don’t kiss like a straight guy.”

  “Thanks, I guess.” He laughed. “And how many straight guys have you kissed exactly?”

  “Will ya … please put those on,” Mark said, turning his back. “I’m going to take off my own clothes, so give me some privacy.”

  “Mark, they’re too small. It will be worse, believe me. Give me the blanket then, since you’re such a prude.”

  “I am not a prude,” Mark snapped, glaring at him. “It feels icky, that’s all.”

  “Icky?”

  “Yes, icky. I don’t feel like walking around naked with my sister’s bisexual lover.”

  “I’m bisexual now?”

  “Does Julie know?”

  “Hell, I didn’t even know myself.” He tossed the bathing suit on the bed.

  “Can I call you Chris?”

  “No. Call me Dane. That’s my name.”

  “Okay, we’ll pretend. Dane. It’s after your dog, right?”

  “I don’t have a dog.” He took the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around him. “And it’s short for Damien. And don’t make any reference to that devil movie.”

  “What devil movie?”

  “Never mind.”

  “A lot of people are bisexual, you know.”

  “Really. Good for them. That’s because they don’t know who in hell they are. I’m not one of them. I like cock. Next subject.”

  Mark pointed to the door. “I’m going to take these clothes off now.”

  “Can I watch?”

  “No, you can’t watch.”

  Dane laughed. “Damn.”

  Mark sighed. He was so damn cute. He had to get out of here, away from that guy. The last thing he needed to do was fall for his sister’s no-good boyfriend.

  * * * *

  When Mark came back outside wrapped in his own blanket, the man was sitting on the stoop, the blanket settled on his lap.

  “You don’t have a cell phone, do you?” he asked.

  “No. I don’t believe in them. I have more control when I do the calling.”

  He looked up at him. “How did I know you were going to say that? Who are you hiding from, your criminal contacts?”

  “Ha, ha. If you must know, my family. Anyway, they’ll manage without you.”

  “Who?”

  “The staff at the diner.”

  “I should hope so,” he muttered. “I’m not much of a cook.”

  “You can’t cook?”

  “I do takeout.”

  “At the diner?” Mark sat down beside him, pulling his blanket around him. He wrinkled his nose.

  The man beside him gave him a look.

  “Oh, we’re still pretending, are we, Dane?”

  “You’re in fairy-tale land, brother, not me. All I want to do is get my pants and go back to the diner. Any idea how we’re going to get out of here if I can’t hot-wire that thing?” He indicated the car.

  “You’re not hot-wiring my brother’s car, and don’t worry, if I don’t come back by tomorrow, someone will come out to get us. My family is weird that way.”

  “Weird, I can believe, if they’re related to you.”

  “That’s not nice. I’m actually the normal one.”

  “Really? How fascinating. What are they, serial killers?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Anyway, I can’t wait until tomorrow.”

  “You might not have a choice. Are you planning to call Julie?”

  “I give up.” He shook his head. “I just don’t have time to do this now. It might already be too late. I’ve probably blown it, thanks to you.”

  “You’re talking in riddles. Let’s talk about something else. I want to know if you’ve been intimate with men.”

  He glanced at him. “Excuse me?”

  “Am I being too personal?”

  “You are too much.”

  “What? I’m worried about my sister. I have no idea where that…” he looked at his groin, “that has been.”

  “It’s called a cock, and I don’t think you have to worry about me infecting her with anything.”

  “You’ve been tested.”

  “Every six months.”

  “That’s good.”

  There was silence for a few minutes.

  “Is that the reason you don’t want to be with Julie?”

  “Huh?”

  “She doesn’t know about the men?”

  “Mark, please.” He took him by the shoulders. “Stop. Look, after we get back to the city and I do what I need to do, I’ll come by to see Julie, and you’ll see that she doesn’t know me.”

  Mark nodded as he released him.

  “So, until then just pretend that my name is Dane.”

  “Why Dane? I still think you chose it because of a dog.”

  “So, you don’t like my name. I get that. I don’t have a dog.”

  “It’s very male.”

  “Well, if you haven’t noticed, I am one.”

  “I noticed.”

  He smiled faintly. “Where are we anyway?”

  “Lake Silk, about an hour from the city. This is my parents’ cottage.”

  “So, I bet you did a lot of making out up here.”

  “Of course not,” Mark said. “This place belongs to my parents. It’s a family thing.”

  Dane laughed.

  “Now what’s funny about that?”

  “It’s like you walked right off of a Disney set.”

  “Very funny. I’m not some innocent, you know.”

  Dane lifted an eyebrow. “A virgin soul with the heart of a criminal. How poetic.”

  “I’m not a virgin,” Mark muttered, feeling stupid.

  “But you’re a criminal?”

  “Of course not.” He didn’t need to tell him that his father and brother were, or used to be.

  “You assaulted and kidnapped me, not to mention almost preached me to death.”

  Mark glanced up at him. “I didn’t mean to do any of that, except maybe the preaching. You attacked us. We didn’t have a choice. And technically, it was my brother who hit you. He tends to be a little … well, he has a bad temper. He didn’t mean it.”

  “Well, that’s comforting. And I did not attack you. You slammed the door in my head, then I got stuck with some drug, and your crazy brother hit me on the head with … what was that anyway? It felt like steel?”

  “Brass.”

  “He hit me with brass knuckles
? You could kill someone with those. No wonder my head hurts like hell.”

  “He didn’t mean for that to happen.” He stood up.

  “But he brought them with him, which means he meant to use them. And you still didn’t answer me. What did you inject me with?”

  “I’m not sure. I think it was a drug used for insomnia. Frank said it was harmless. It just makes you sleep.”

  “And this impotent stuff you talked about?”

  “Oh, I just said that to scare you.”

  “Well, it worked. Don’t even joke about that stuff.”

  “I know Julie is a grown woman, and it may seem like we’re being a little overprotective but … you’d have to know my family. You’re lucky it’s me up here with you. I came because I knew you’d be better off with me than with Frankie.”

  “Funny, but I don’t feel very lucky.”

  “Let’s just make the best of it, okay?”

  Suddenly, Dane was headed for Frankie’s car.

  “I wouldn’t fool with my brother’s car if I were you. He’s a little temperamental about his vehicle.”

  “He’s a little temperamental about a lot of things, it seems.” He glanced at him. “I’ll need a screwdriver, wire strippers, and a pair of insulated gloves.”

  Mark raised an eyebrow. “I don’t have any of those things … maybe a screwdriver, but … Frankie will be really pissed. You’d better not.”

  “Ask me if I care.” He opened the driver’s side and bent into the car.

  Mark jumped up and ran over to the car. “What are you doing? Do you know what you’re doing?”

  Dane turned around and looked at him. “Where’s the screwdriver?”

  “I don’t … inside, I guess.”

  “Get it. Otherwise, I’ll have to rip out the—”

  “Don’t rip out anything! My brother will kill me.”

  “Then if you want to live, you better get me that screwdriver.”

  Mark raced into the house and hunted for the screwdriver. When he came back out, Dane was hunched over in the front seat fiddling with something. “What … ah … are you doing?”

  Dane glanced at him. “Give me the screwdriver.”

  “Not until you tell me what you’re doing.”