Amanda’s face was ashy, and Ryder was sick to his stomach. Despite his suspicions, he’d hoped to hear something different. He didn’t want to believe anyone was this despicable, and he didn’t want to see Amanda question her judgment. It wasn’t her fault, and the moment she’d been presented with a reason to doubt her client’s integrity, she’d jumped on it and hadn’t slowed down or looked back.
“So, how do we pin it on Fillmore?” he asked, stepping away from Amanda before he gave in to the urge to pull her against him and comfort her.
“That’s the hard part,” Paulson said. “But with statements from both of you about this Brandt guy’s threats, the dates of the corporation’s approach, and all of this evidence, you should be able to subpoena company and individual records for travel, credit cards, and anything else that could put anyone from Fillmore Investments here at the time of the fire. I can help you get the ball rolling on that, if you two can put together your statements. I think you already gave me the dates that Brandt was here pursuing the purchase of the ranches. And Miss Halston, I believe I have the dates of the request for you to try again, as well as when you arrived in town.
She nodded. “You do.”
Paulson looked back and forth between them. “This is a terrible case, and I’m sorry both of you had to be involved. The good news is, we’re right at the cusp of breaking it wide open, and when we do, you’ll be able to just about put them out of business between the sizeable settlement and the media coverage.”
Ryder thanked him and waited until he’d closed himself in one of the other offices where he could put things in motion. Then, he turned to Amanda, who looked like she was going to fall apart. He embraced her and told her soothingly, “You didn’t do this, Amanda, and you’ve done everything you could to fix it, which was never your responsibility. Your integrity isn’t in question here. Only Fillmore’s.”
She pulled away and gave him a harsh look. “But isn’t it? How could people not think I knew about it all along? I came striding into town like I owned it, driving that damned BMW and practically announcing what a Yank I was. Even you thought I was hiding something at first. Anyone who doesn’t know me like you do is going to blame me, at least partially. And if I didn’t know about it, what kind of lawyer am I that I don’t know my client’s business practices?”
“Come on, Amanda, I know you’re upset, but you’re getting carried away.” He wanted to fix this for her, but he knew he could only coddle her so much, and then it would just have to run its course.
“Really? Because I remember what Zoe said when she came knocking at your door.”
Ryder winced. The morning after he’d taken Amanda to Noah’s, Zoe had come banging on his door. Amanda had stayed hidden in the bedroom, not wanting to further incense an already irate woman. “What are you thinking, Ryder? Do you know how many people are talking about the fact that you’re parading around town with that haughty east coaster? Have you even thought about what she represents to your friends and family and the ranchers around here?”
Stubbornly, he had stood up to her. “Amanda Halston is just a legal representative, and she’s not involved in anything that Fillmore Investments actually does.”
“Oh, please! Is it her blond hair or her long legs that blinded you?” Zoe had spat at him. “All lawyers lie. And if she’s not lying, she’s a piss-poor lawyer for not checking into her client and finding out just how desperate and manipulative they are.”
“You need to mind your own business, Zoe. She’s had her firm send money to fund the investigation.”
“Oh, great! So now they’re buying you off!”
He’d given her a warning look. Zoe was a great woman and full of spirit, but she needed to learn boundaries. “Those funds were put directly into the hands of the county to be distributed per my recommendations. I called in outside sources, and they’re looking at the evidence. The law firm isn’t in control. The corporation isn’t in control. Amanda Halston isn’t in control. It’s my job, and I’m handling it.”
She’d scoffed. “I bet that’s not all you’re handling.”
“Don’t make me say something I regret, Zoe. I respect you, but my personal life is personal, and you have no right to tell me who I can or can’t see, just like I can’t tell you whether or not to be with Noah. Remember that you were the outsider not too long ago.”
That had essentially stopped her, but she’d still been livid when she left. At first, Ryder had worried that he’d ruined his friendship with both Zoe and Noah, but Noah had reassured him a couple of days later that Zoe was a hothead and flew off the handle. He said she would cool down. And Ryder told him that he appreciated that and stated in no uncertain terms that he needed help letting everyone know what a help Amanda had been.
Noah wished him luck and went on his way. That had been over a week ago, and slowly, the community had been more welcoming toward Amanda and stopped giving the two of them resentful looks. “Zoe will cool off,” he repeated Noah’s sentiments. “Haven’t you noticed everyone else opening up to you? That’s because they realize you aren’t the enemy. You’re here to help.”
But Ryder had concerns of his own about that. Yes, she had come with one directive and switched sides to help out with the investigation. She’d stayed to be with him. But now, they’d come to a pretty solid conclusion, and aside from actually getting a signed confession, there wasn’t much more they needed to prove Fillmore was behind the fire. With that all wrapped up, Amanda faced a lot of big decisions, not the least of which was whether or not she was going to keep seeing Ryder.
He knew her home would call to her, and even if she decided to stay here and shirk off everything she’d built in her life, she’d have to go back to Richmond to clean out her house and her desk. And once she was there, who was to say she wouldn’t realize how stupid she’d been to get infatuated with a country boy? She’d be back in her comfort zone and want to stay there.
Rather than ask her about that now, he focused on her guilty conscience. “Amanda, you can’t take this on your shoulders. Are you going to recommend your firm ditch the client?”
“I was going to wait for proof that one of them had come here to set the fire, but now, I can’t see any reason to think it was someone else. The timeline is too precise. And that was probably the damning thing. I’m calling the partners today to tell them about this and demand we drop them. And let them know that, if our firm is affected in any way by this scandal, we’ll file a lawsuit for defamation of character for each member of the firm as well as for the practice.”
That made Ryder smile, and he kissed her forehead. “Now, that should get their attention. See? Your partners wouldn’t have given you the authority to make this decision if you held any blame.”
She shook her head. “That’s true. But this whole thing brought negative attention and disgrace to the firm. And that’s like professional suicide.” She met his eyes with a gaze full of pain. “I’m resigning.”
“What?” He stared at her in disbelief. He couldn’t have heard her right. “Amanda, I thought you wanted to make partner. This is going to be huge, and you’re going to get what you wanted.”
“I doubt it. Small-town hero is great for papers and newscasts, but to those guys, it’s meaningless.” She smiled sadly. “Besides, I thought it would make you happy. Leaving Barrow, Marten, and Biggs means I can stay here with you.”
He didn’t know what to say. There was nothing he wanted more than to keep her here, but he didn’t want her to burn bridges to stay. “Amanda, I love you more than I ever thought I’d love anyone. I want to be with you, but I don’t want you to be miserable. If being a partner in Richmond is what you want, that’s what you should do. We’ll work something out. Or maybe you don’t want to. Just don’t do anything irrational to make me happy.”
“I don’t know what I want, Ryder,” she said, throwing her hands up in the air. “I haven’t quite figured it all out yet. But at least resigning gives me time to figure it
out. I thought you would be more supportive. Or has this all been a game for you?”
“Don’t turn this into an argument, Amanda. I told you, I love you. I would love for you to stay. But I don’t want to make you feel obligated. There’s a difference between choosing to stay and being coerced.” He wasn’t going to question her motive for staying for the rest of his life just because he begged her or guilt-tripped her into it.
She nodded. “I just need time to think. My world’s turned upside down in the last few weeks, and I need to figure out where I’m going from here. It’s the first time I’ve flown blind without a plan, and I would really like to get through this rough spot with you at my side.”
Ryder calmed and nodded, brushing her hair back behind her ears. “Then, let’s do that.” He’d be whatever he needed to be to help her make the right decisions about her future.
23
Amanda stepped into the café and nearly turned right back around to walk out the door. Zoe was there, talking to the barista. It wasn’t the same young man but a young girl, probably barely old enough to hold a job, but this seemed to be a common thing for Zoe, and Amanda chided herself for not considering that the woman who seemed to hate her so much worked right next door.
But before she could make a swift exit, Zoe looked up and met her gaze. Certain she was about to get a tongue lashing and already under too much pressure, Amanda held up a hand as if trying to wave a white flag. “I promise I’m just going to get my coffee and go.”
“No, wait,” Zoe said, wearing a frown. Amanda wasn’t sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t what Zoe said next. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been harsh, and it wasn’t fair of me. I tend to get a little carried away, and when I set my mind to something, I have a hard time changing it, and I’m even worse at admitting I was wrong. But I was.”
Stunned into silence, it took Amanda a moment to recover and respond. “Thank you. I appreciate that, and I accept your apology.”
“Good. Let me buy your coffee as a peace offering, and maybe we can sit down and chat. You look like you’ve had a rough afternoon.”
Rough didn’t begin to cover it. She normally wouldn’t have accepted the invitation, but she didn’t have the wherewithal to argue. And honestly, without anyone else in which she could confide, maybe Zoe would at least provide the sounding board she needed and offer an objective opinion.
Instead of her no-nonsense espressos, she ordered a vanilla latte with a shot of cinnamon, a comfort drink when she was upset. Zoe led the way to a back corner and sat down. She didn’t mince words or waste time. “Okay, spill it. From one outsider to another, I recognize the signs of a serious issue bringing down your mood, and I’m sure it somehow involves this thing going on between you and Ryder.”
Amanda laughed without humor. “I guess you could say that. How much time do you have?”
“As much as it takes. I don’t have a class today. I was just up here cleaning up the studio a little. Say what you need to.” Zoe seemed like she really wanted to listen and help, and Amanda was ready to let it out before it welled up and spilled over at the wrong time. Like when she got home to Ryder.
She gazed down into her coffee, trying to figure out where to start. “We got the reports on the fire investigation, and there’s still more to confirm, but things are pretty clear. For the interest of the case, I can’t give you details, but I’m sure you can figure out what we discovered.” Zoe nodded but didn’t speak. She was pretty good at this. “I felt so guilty because I didn’t know my client was willing to go to horrific lengths to get what they wanted, and I came here to negotiate what they wanted. I should have been more attuned to their mentality. Ryder says I shouldn’t blame myself, but I really do hold at least that much responsibility. I didn’t stop it.”
She sighed. “So, when I called my law firm to give them the news, I intended to resign. I want to stay here, for now. I still haven’t decided on a permanent solution. You know, I didn’t expect to fall in love, and that changes my entire future. It’s like in Terminator 2, when they destroy the chip, and for the first time, Sara Connor doesn’t know what the future holds. That’s how I feel.”
Amanda took a sip of her coffee to try and settle her stomach. “Before I could tell them I was sending a letter of resignation, they offered me a partnership. I know that may not sound like a big deal, but I’m the first woman ever offered a partnership with the firm. And it’s something I’ve been working toward for a long time. It was the only motivation I had for closing this deal. I knew it would land me the offer. Apparently, taking down a major corporation and saving my firm millions of dollars in losses from outraged clients warrants the offer, too.”
“That’s great. Congratulations!” Zoe said with a smile. But she obviously knew Amanda wasn’t done and quieted again, waiting with infinite patience written in her expression.
Taking a deep breath. Amanda said, “I don’t know what to do. On one hand, this partnership is everything I’ve dreamed of for years, and it keeps me on the path to achieve every goal I’ve set for my future. On the other, I’m terrified to walk away from Ryder. He talks about working something out so we can be together, even if I go back to Virginia, but I don’t see how. I could never take him away from his family’s ranch. And if I’m a partner, I wouldn’t be able to come here very often. I certainly couldn’t live here. I don’t think either of us would survive a long-distance relationship. So, it comes down to making a choice.”
She was dangerously close to tears and sipped at her coffee again, trying to swallow her panic with the brew. Zoe didn’t say anything for a minute, looking thoughtful, and Amanda just sat there, despondent. She loved practicing law, and her father would be so proud of her for making partner. But that suddenly paled in comparison to the excitement it would have given her had the offer come a month ago.
Finally, Zoe hedged, “It sounds to me like you’re trying to decide between doing what would be reasonable and lucrative in terms of your career versus following your heart and facing a future you can’t plan out to the letter.”
“Essentially,” Amanda mumbled. She wished she was a child and someone could just make the decision for her, take the responsibility so any unhappiness it caused could be blamed on someone else.
“I was completely against falling in love,” Zoe said flatly. “It wasn’t about my career. It was about my past. Long story short, I didn’t want to end up a statistic and face the agony of losing someone I loved. Noah was the same way, with different circumstances. For a short time, I thought about moving back to Cheyenne.”
“But you stayed,” Amanda concluded. “And you’re getting married in, what, four weeks now?”
“Six, but it feels like two,” Zoe laughed. “Listen, it’s not the same for everyone. But if someone can come in and sweep you off your feet like an undertow and carry you so far down river that you can’t remember the value of the future you had planned, you at least have to consider that the current carried you where you’re supposed to be. If that’s not the case, it’s still going to be a struggle to swim back upstream. It’s just a matter of knowing whether or not it’s worth the trouble.”
“And how do you determine that?” Amanda asked. “I think about how much I’ve achieved and what I would be throwing away to change paths now. And I think about the people I’d disappoint, not the least of which would be my father. But then I think it would be physically painful to walk away from Ryder. He’s…” She trailed off. She didn’t know how to describe it.
“Everything,” Zoe provided. “I know what you mean. That’s the only way I know to express how I feel about Noah.”
“Yes. Everything. And we almost turned our back on it once. If I turn my back again, I won’t be able to change my mind later.” She smiled, thinking about the first morning she woke up in his house to the sound of music. “During the storm, he came and rescued me, said I would freeze to death or run off the road if I stayed in town. He took me to his house, and like a gentleman
, he cooked the only thing he knows how for dinner. And the next morning, he woke me up with Three Dog Night and danced with me. All of that when he hated me and thought I was involved in this big scheme.”
Zoe’s eyes danced with mischief. “Is he a good dancer?”
Amanda nodded. “He’s good at everything he does.”
“A keeper.” Zoe nodded. “Now, ask yourself this. Do you want to wake up every morning knowing that you have achieved the goal you set early on that you thought would be the ultimate reward? Or would you rather wake up most days to the sound of Ryder screaming when he stubs his toe in the dark on the chance that you get to dance at daybreak now and then?”
That made Amanda laugh. “That’s a very interesting choice, when you put it that way.”
“I think so. I always get excited when I say something smart like that.” Zoe beamed. “The other question is, how important is it to make your father happy? And would he be proud of you should you take the path leading away from the prestigious career with the corner office?”
Honestly, Amanda didn’t know. Her father had all but groomed her for politics and been so thrilled when she pursued law. He’d pushed her harder at every obstacle to persevere and overcome the hardship, and he’d praised her for her strength and success. But she didn’t know if he’d do the same should she decide she wasn’t cut out for a political career.
“You don’t have to answer that,” Zoe added. “I know it’s a tough question, and you have to evaluate a lot of things to answer it. But it’s just something to consider. How long do you have before you need to give the firm an answer?”
The Cowboy In Me (Wild At Heart Cowboys Book 2) Page 11