Her eyes ran over him, over the hard contours of his body. He was a lot like his father, in colouring, in build, and he exuded that same strength.
‘And yet?’ she prompted him, feeling a flush wash her cheeks as she forcibly dragged her eyes from him.
‘In the beginning I hated him.’
Georgia’s breath caught sharply at the soft, flatly spoken words and Jarrod turned back to face her, resting his hips against the wide window-sill, folding his arms across his chest.
‘But why?’ she asked him.
‘Because he showed me-’ He gave an abrupt, negating movement of his head. ‘No, that’s not quite right. Because his appearance in my life made me realise the truth about my mother. Before Peter turned up I used to pretend.’
He ran a hand through his hair and Georgia drew a shaky breath, remembering Jarrod’s reluctance over the years to discuss his mother and his life before he’d come to live with his natural father.
‘Oh, I got over it. All this—’ he indicated the room they
were in ‘—was a far cry from the poky flat in suburban Perth where I used to live.’
‘What happened?’ Georgia questioned gently, and he pulled a face.
‘The usual. Peter and my mother had a brief affair that resulted in me. For some reason my mother didn’t want to tell him she was pregnant, and although Peter assured me he would have married my mother if he’d known we’ll never know, will we? She-my mother-never wanted for male company during the years when I was growing up. Some of her “friends” were pretty good to me.’
He pushed himself away from the window-sill and paced restlessly again. ‘But then, when she was between male friends, she discovered she had cancer, so she was forced to tell me about Peter Maclean.
‘I think I went a little wild then. I’d always believed my father was dead and I refused to meet the man my mother now said was alive. Well, my mother died suddenly before we could resolve the issue and it was all taken out of my hands.
‘A policeman rang Peter. He came over and we met for the first time. Not long after he brought me here.’
‘Oh, Jarrod. I’m so sorry.’ Georgia’s heart ached for him. She couldn’t recall Jarrod’s first years with his father for she’d been quite young when Uncle Peter had adopted him. But he’d become great friends with Lockie.
Then, in his teens and early twenties, Jarrod had been away most of the time, studying or getting experience in other branches of his father’s business. It was only later, when he’d returned for good, that they had finally come to love each other.
Or so she’d thought, Georgia reminded herself wearily.
‘I suppose I must have been quite a handful at first,’ Jarrod was continuing. ‘I resented Peter. It seemed like my mother became ill and told me I had a father one minute, then she died and suddenly I was passed on to him. The kinder Peter was, the more I hated him.
‘Strangely enough, at first I felt more akin to Isabel. It must have been difficult for her to have a surly adolescent thrust upon her but at least I knew where I stood with her. She was indifferent to me and didn’t try to hide it.’
Georgia swallowed. When did that change? she wanted to ask him. When did the indifference develop into an affair?
Jarrod smiled crookedly. ‘I guess Peter’s perseverance wore me down, and I did come to respect him, until-’ He stopped and his face grew even more drawn. He walked back to the desk and slowly sat down again. ‘But no matter,’ he added, as though he was unaware he was speaking.
‘Do you have any other family? Back in Western Australia, I mean?’ Georgia asked into the brooding silence that had claimed him.
‘None I know of. My mother certainly never mentioned any.’ His fingers moved a stack of papers on the desk and then he shook his head. ‘What diabolical messes we mortals make of our lives,’ he said with feeling.
Georgia could empathise with that. Her own life was a prime example of emotional chaos.
Jarrod let himself slump back in his chair and his eyes met Georgia’s for one tortured, heart-stopping moment before his lashes fell to shield their expression.
‘I have to go soon, Georgia.’
She blinked at him, not sure she’d heard the words. Then a terrible pain warred with the agony of recollection. Hadn’t they played this scene before?
They were in the wrong place, she wanted to tell him. Shouldn’t they be in the living room? And she’d tell him she never wanted to see him again. Yes, their life always seemed to be in replay mode. And for Georgia the pain wasn’t any less this time around.
‘When will you be leaving?’ she heard herself ask with admirable self-control.
You’ve come a long way, Georgia Grayson, in these four years, she congratulated herself.
‘Next week some time. As soon as I tie up everything here. I’ll go back to the States.’
‘What about the firm?’
‘Maclean’s? The set-up here can function without me. I can run it in absentia.’
She had to get up and go, Georgia told herself, before she broke down in front of him. Did she want to humiliate herself all over again?
No, she wouldn’t allow herself to do that this time. She had some measure of pride now. But she couldn’t stop the words that came out.
‘The last time you left we said some hurtful things,’ she said carefully, almost matter-of-factly, and she felt the immediate stillness in him. ‘But I suppose we…’ she paused ‘…I can blame that on the folly of youth.’
His eyes fell. ‘The circumstances were different then.’ He was equally unemotional.
‘Yes, they were, weren’t they?’ She took a steadying breath. ‘Will Aunt Isabel be staying here?’
‘I have no idea. She may go down to the Gold Coast permanently.’
‘I see.’ Then Isabel wouldn’t be going with him.
‘There was never anything between Isabel and me,’ he said quietly. ‘I told you the truth about that. Look, Georgia,’ he began, and shook his head slightly, ‘about the last time. I know you thought at the time I was cruel, the way I told you how I felt, but there was more involved and I thought it was for the best, believe me.’
‘Did you?’ Georgia’s mouth twisted in a sad, bitter little smile. ‘Best for whom?’ She sighed. ‘Perhaps you were right. A sharp severance rather than a prolonged series of cuts, hmm?’
Jarrod’s jaw was tight and his hands were out of sight, shoved into his pockets. He inclined his head. ‘Something like that.’
On shaky legs Georgia forced herself to stand and he did too, the width of the desk between them.
‘Well, it is the past, Jarrod,’ she added flatly. ‘I think we should leave it there, don’t you?’
His gaze met hers and shied away.
She’d been content to do just that, she wanted to tell him, but then he’d come home and it had all flooded back over her.
‘Can’t we part as friends this time?’ His words drew her eyes back to his face again.
‘Friends?’ Georgia repeated.
‘We were that once.’ He took a couple of steps around the desk, then he seemed to change his mind and stopped.
‘And lovers.’ Georgia held his gaze and she heard the soft hiss of his indrawn breath. ‘I wonder how many old lovers remain friends? Not many, I should think. But I suppose it’s the civilised thing to do.’ She raised her eyebrows questioningly as he remained silent. ‘Isn’t it, Jarrod? Modern? Civilised?’
He turned slightly and leant against the desktop. ‘As I said, we used to be friends.’
Georgia sighed. ‘I think you know how impossible that would be. We could never be friends, Jarrod. At least, I can’t. I’m sorry.’
‘So am I.’ His voice sounded thick, as though it was painful for him to speak.
‘Well, I think I’ll go and give Lockie and Andy a hand down at the house.’
Ask me not to go, something inside her begged him silently. Please, Jarrod, ask me to stay.
He slowly
inclined his head and turned dismissively away.
‘I’ll probably see you later.’ Georgia had to school herself to keep her voice steady, and as she left him she had to fight the urge to do exactly what she’d done four years ago. Run through the bush, blinded by tears, towards the sanctuary of home.
The pain choked her, held her in its anguishing grip. Four years on and it was just as severe.
When he’d come back into her life she’d hated him, living only for the moment when he would leave. Now she understood how closely aligned were the emotions of loving and hating. She could tell herself she still hated him but perversely she had to acknowledge that she loved him as much as she ever had. The hurt still ate at her but the love was burned indelibly into the deepest recesses of her soul. She’d never be free of it.
She made herself walk slowly, dry-eyed, towards home, and this time she made it without mishap. Without the devastating drama that had occurred four years ago.
A week later everything was falling back into place.
The conversation she had had with Jarrod in his father’s study had seemed to act as a turning point for her. It had showed her that any small ray of hope she’d harboured after his kiss, his impassioned words in her dressing room was completely without substance. She must get her life in order. Alone.
The four years she’d spent drifting aimlessly must be recognised as her period of grieving. Now it had to end. She must draw it to a close herself. There was no future in the past. She had to reform her present and go on from there.
Surprisingly her realisation, her self-revelation, gave her strength.
Yes, everything was settling back to normal. Mandy had returned and was back singing with Country Blues. Their father would be home the next day to oversee the repairs to their house. Georgia could go back to concentrating on her studies and her job at the bookshop. And Jarrod was leaving to return to the States tomorrow afternoon, so there would be no constant expectation that he would keep appearing every time she turned around.
The past was behind her and her new life could begin. She should be happy, on top of the world. So why did she feel like crying?
Lethargically she climbed the stairs, grimacing at the sound of hammering coming from the back of the house. It was growing dark, so surely Lockie should be calling it a day?
Georgia had promised to pick up some fresh bread and milk for the boys on her way home from work and she was later than she would normally have been. In truth, she wasn’t in any hurry to go back to the Maclean house to share a final meal with Jarrod. The hammering stopped, then started again, and now it seemed to have developed an echo.
Georgia sighed and stepped through the open front door. She was hot and tired from her walk from the bus stop and, juggling the bag of groceries, she shrugged off her jacket. A shower-she flexed her shoulder muscles-a long, cool shower was what she desperately needed, but that would have to wait until she went over to Jarrod’s.
Her leg came up against a suitcase left inconveniently in the now dusk-lit hallway, and she grabbed for the wall to steady herself. The case was obviously full, for it hadn’t budged when she’d tripped over it. She groaned and rubbed her bruised knee.
‘That you, Georgia?’ Andy appeared from the area of the damaged kitchen, switching on the temporary light that had been rigged up until the house could be rewired. He frowned as he took in the situation, the offending suitcase and Georgia on one leg inspecting her knee. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Almost.’ Georgia pulled a face and grinned crookedly. ‘If I’m not called upon to walk ever again.’
Andy reached out and took the bag of groceries from her. ‘Come and shift your suitcase, young Morgan,’ he called out. ‘You left it in the middle of the hallway and Georgia fell over it.’
Morgan ambled out of the bedroom. ‘Going blind now, Georgia?’ she sniped as she slid the case sideways, closer to the wall.
‘Just wasn’t expecting to have to hurdle an obstacle in the hall, that’s all.’ Georgia’s glance went from her sister’s petulant face to Andy’s disapproving one. Surely Morgan hadn’t been arguing with Andy? Andy never quarrelled with anyone. Her heart sank. What was going on now?
The hammering stopped altogether and Georgia could hear the murmur of voices from the back of the house. Ken or Evan must be giving Lockie some help downstairs.
‘Why the suitcase anyway?’ Georgia absently asked her sister. ‘I thought you were only staying with your friends until Dad comes home tomorrow.’
Morgan shrugged, her lips set defiantly. ‘Because I’m giving you back your room, that’s why.’
Georgia raised her eyebrows and her young sister lifted her chin.
‘Steve’s picking me up at seven-thirty,’ she threw over her shoulder as she turned and sauntered into the living room.
Georgia glanced at Andy, who shook his head and shrugged before Georgia followed her sister, Andy close behind her.
‘What are you talking about, Morgan?’ Georgia asked.
‘What does it sound like? I’m going back to the flat with Steve.’
‘But you haven’t even…When did you see Steve?’
‘I’ve been seeing him for ages.’
Georgia hadn’t even suspected that Morgan had had any contact with her boyfriend.
‘While you’ve been becoming a star,’ Morgan taunted.
‘But-’
‘Look, Georgia, we’ve talked it out, Steve and I, and I’ve decided to go back to him. Beginning, middle and end.’
‘Morgan, I don’t…’ Georgia bit her lip, knowing that her open opposition would not go down well with her sister. ‘Have you given this decision some thought?’
‘What’s to think about?’ Morgan asked airily.
‘Well, Steve did hit you, and it’s not so very long since you were declaring you never wanted to see him again.’
‘My sister of the long memory. I’ve got a long memory too, Georgia.’ Morgan gave a laugh. ‘Anyway, so I’ve had a change of heart.’
Georgia shook her head. ‘I don’t know what to say to you, Morgan,’ she began tiredly.
‘Probably what Lockie said, and what Mandy said before she left for work. How about “It’s not the right thing to do”?’ Morgan mocked. ‘You said that the last time. “Living together-it’s not right, Morgan.” Well, what is, Georgia? Tell me that.’
‘Morgan, for heaven’s sake,’ Andy interrupted, but the young girl ignored him.
‘Well, what is right? Holding hands in the drive-in? Kissing goodnight on the front steps? Saving myself for Mr Right and marriage?’ Morgan’s laugh was harsh. ‘Be thankful we’re not doing it in the back seat of Steve’s car like they did in the old days.’
‘Morgan!’ Lockie’s voice came from behind Georgia’s shocked stillness. ‘That’s quite enough.’
‘Oh, shut up, Lockie. Don’t try to tell me you’re so lilywhite, you and Mandy. But it has to be different for me, doesn’t it? I’m too young, too immature to know what I want.’
‘Morgan, please,’ Georgia appealed to her sister. ‘Let’s not have another argument like the last one. Can’t we talk about this calmly and rationally?’
‘There’s nothing to talk about, Georgia,’ Morgan stated mutinously.
‘Can’t you see we’re concerned about you?’ Lockie asked, but Morgan laughed again.
‘No doubt. But you don’t have to worry about me. Any of you. I’m not stupid. I know where it’s all at. And you can be sure I’m not going to go and get myself pregnant, like Georgia did.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘PREGNANT? Georgia?’ Andy croaked in astonished incredulity.
‘How the hell-?’ Lockie exclaimed at the same time.
‘Yes, pregnant. And how the hell did I know?’ Morgan finished. ‘As I said, I’m not stupid. Even though I was only a kid I knew what was going on. You and Dad weren’t so good at covering it up that night, were you, Lockie? You thought I was asleep but I wasn’t. I overheard you talking.’
>
‘Georgia?’ Andy stepped forward, incongruously still holding the bag of groceries. ‘What-? Is-?’ He looked at Georgia’s ashen face and a measure of doubt rendered him silent.
Georgia stood motionless. Stunned. Wondering if her hearing had deceived her. Perhaps it was her conscience, her guilty conscience, that had imagined those taunting, wounding words from her young sister. ‘Pregnant, like Georgia…’ Had Morgan really said that?
But Morgan didn’t know. Only Georgia, her father, Lockie and their doctor had known about the child she’d carried. Jarrod’s child. Oh, Jarrod. She almost groaned his name out loud.
‘I even knew who the father was,’ Morgan continued. ‘You and Dad didn’t, did you, Lockie? I knew where they met too.’
Georgia’s head snapped up.
‘They met down by the-’
Lockie grabbed Morgan’s arm none too gently. ‘You’ve said enough, Morgan. OK, so you know it all, but we don’t want to hear any of your salacious details, thanks all the same.’ He swore angrily. ‘You’re just a stupid little troublemaker.’ He gave her a shake.
Georgia moved then, putting a restraining hand on her brother’s arm. ‘Lockie, please don’t. Calm down.’ She turned to her sister, unaware of the pain clouding her eyes, but Morgan recognised it and lost some of her insolent bravado.
Her gaze fell. ‘It’s true, isn’t it, Georgia?’ She looked deflated now, like someone who had dropped a huge bombshell and suddenly wanted to draw it back.
‘Morgan,’ Georgia began softly, ‘it was because of-’ she swallowed the lump in her throat ‘-because I know how agonising one mistake can be, the whole thing, what I went through…’ She drew a breath, desperately wanting her sister to understand but suspecting that she was making a king-sized mess of the situation. ‘That’s why Lockie and I, and Dad, we just try to protect you. We don’t want to see you suffer the way I did. Our advice was only given in your best interests, because we love you.’ Georgia’s voice caught in her throat.
‘Well, there’s no need to protect me,’ Morgan muttered, all angry defiance gone. ‘I’m taking that job at Jarrod’s office. I’m starting Monday and they’re sending me on a computer course at night school, so I’ll be fine.’
Close Relations Page 16