by Val Wood
‘You can,’ Mrs Thompson confirmed. ‘But I don’t think you’ll be long finding other employment. It might not be much to begin with, shop work or housekeeping, but you can stay here until you earn enough money for a room.’
Lily smiled. ‘Thank you so much. We’re very grateful. I allus thought that Betty had ’ability to pull herself up.’
‘I have.’ Betty nodded. ‘But when I came here last time I was lonely and I couldn’t be bothered to look for owt – anything else. Now, after being with ’other girls, even though we’ve had a laugh together, I’ve realized that what we do is degrading. We should all try to get out, cos it’s humiliating and shameful and – and besides,’ she bit on her lip and ran her fingers around the neck of her dress, ‘I don’t want to be with any other man but Henry.’
She looked at Lily, and said, ‘I know what you’re going to say – that he’s a customer and I shouldn’t get fond of him, but I couldn’t help it and I have; so I’m coming back to explain to him that I won’t be seeing him any more cos I’m leaving. I’ve seen ’error of my ways, just like that old parson in ’Market Place was allus telling us we should.’
I remember him, Lily thought as she waited for Betty. That first day I came to Hull. Billy Fowler gave him sixpence for the loan of his box. He said all he wanted was a square meal and a place in heaven. I wonder if he got either of them.
Betty was quiet on their way back, but when they reached the square she said, ‘Well, I shan’t miss this pit at all, but I’ll miss seeing ’girls, and especially you, Lily. I’ll really miss you.’
‘You can still come and see us,’ she told her. ‘And mebbe you’ll persuade Cherie to go back with you to Mrs Thompson’s.’
‘Not without Lizzie,’ Cherie broke in.
‘You’ve got to stand on your own feet, Cherie,’ Lily urged her. ‘Lizzie has to look out for herself.’
‘What do you mean?’ Cherie’s eyes became moist.
‘I mean,’ Lily said, as they reached the steps of the house, ‘that Lizzie has to go forward before it’s too late for her to do owt else with her life.’
‘Are you saying that I’m holding her back?’ Cherie muttered petulantly.
Lily patted her cheek before putting the key in the door. ‘She won’t think of doing anything that doesn’t involve you. She worries about you and thinks that you can’t manage without her.’
‘I can’t.’ Cherie began to sniffle.
‘You can,’ Lily said firmly. ‘Of course you can.’
As Lily changed for the evening, she thought about Cherie and how she clung to Lizzie, and then she thought of Daisy. Though her children were always in her thoughts, she was more anxious about Ted than she was about Daisy. At least I know where she is, she thought as she brushed her hair and pinned it up. And anyway, ’young minx has squirmed her way into Mrs Walker’s employ without any help from me. She could always fend for herself.
She smiled as she remembered how Daisy, when still a baby, had learned to feed herself, pushing away from her breast and snatching a spoon from her hand to share in whatever Lily herself was eating. Whilst Ted, even at four, would wait expectantly for Lily to cut up his food or open his mouth like a little bird for her to feed him. I spoilt him, I suppose, she mused. I took comfort in doing more for him while Johnny was away instead of letting him grow up. She sighed. I wonder where he is. Poor lad, he’ll be growing up now without me there to do for him.
The door bell rang and she frowned. Who’s this? It’s too early – there’ll be nobody ready. She put the last pin in her hair and went to open the door. It was Henry.
‘I know it’s early, Miss Lily.’ He clutched his bowler hat in his hands. ‘But has Betty come back? I really do need to speak to her.’
‘She has, as a matter of fact,’ Lily said. ‘But …’ How do I tell him that she’s not available any more, and how will Betty feel if he says he’ll take one of the other girls instead? But then Betty came tripping daintily down the stairs which saved her from having to make any further response. Betty had her hair tied modestly in the nape of her neck and wore the grey dress that she had worn at Hope House.
‘Hello, Henry. How nice to see you,’ she said, and glanced at Lily, who indicated with a nod of her head that they should go into the parlour where a fire was already lit in anticipation of the evening’s company. ‘Won’t you come through and have a cup of coffee?’
‘Yes. Yes, thank you.’ He handed Lily his hat in a distracted manner and followed Betty. ‘It’s very nice to see you too,’ Lily heard him say. ‘I’ve missed—’
Betty closed the door behind them. ‘I’m pleased you came early, Henry,’ she said. ‘I was hoping to see you before I go.’
‘Go?’ Henry looked bewildered. ‘Go where? I’ve come specially to tell you something and you’re going out again!’
‘It’s not that I’m going out, Henry,’ she said gently. ‘It’s just that I’m leaving. Leaving here. This house. I’m going to live somewhere else.’ She looked down and locked her fingers together. ‘I’m giving up this line o’ work,’ she whispered. ‘I don’t want to do it any more. I’ve rediscovered a pride in myself. I’m worth more than this degrading life I’ve been living.’
She raised her eyes to his and saw how Henry stared at her, his mouth slightly open. ‘So I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘Really sorry that I won’t be able to see you again, because I’ve enjoyed your company. You made me feel special, even though I know I’m not, and I’ll always be grateful for that.’ She put out her right hand. ‘Goodbye, Henry. I hope you have a happy life.’
‘W-wait. Wait!’ Henry took her proffered hand and held on to it. ‘But where are you going? And I wanted to tell – ask you something. And – you are special,’ he stammered hoarsely. ‘I wanted to tell you that you were – are. I came to ask if you would leave here. I can’t bear to think of you being with other men.’
They gazed at each other and she waited for him to continue, but he didn’t, seeming to be lost for words. ‘I won’t be with any others, Henry,’ she said softly. ‘I just said I’m giving up. I’ll not sleep with another man until I marry.’
He gave a small moan. ‘Betty! You’re not getting married? But I want to marry you. That’s why I came. That’s why I was away. I’ve been to talk to the bank about my inheritance and I’ve been to see about renting a house.’ His eyes filled with tears. ‘Give him up,’ he choked. ‘And marry me!’
Betty took a deep shuddering breath. ‘I didn’t say I was getting married.’ She gave a little hiccuping laugh. ‘What I should have said was that I won’t sleep with another man until I get married.’
‘So you’re not? So will you?’ He knelt down on one knee. ‘Will you marry me, Betty? I love you and I’ll try to make you happy.’
‘But don’t you mind about me being – you know, a …’ She shrugged; there was no point in evading it. ‘A tart? A prostitute? I’ve sold my body for money!’
He clambered to his feet. ‘I wouldn’t have met you, would I, if you hadn’t been? I might never have known such delight, such happiness.’
‘You mean it, don’t you?’ she said slowly. ‘It’s more than I ever hoped for. More than I ever thought I deserved.’
He kissed her cheek. ‘You deserve everything you wish for and I’ll try to give you it. A home. Children.’
‘Children!’ Tears cascaded down her face. ‘To make up for my little Tommy.’
‘Yes.’ He kissed away her tears. ‘To make up for. Not to replace. So is it yes?’
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Lily and the girls were thrilled for Betty. ‘I can’t believe it,’ Alice croaked the next morning when Lily broke the news. ‘Oh, Lily. Do you think there’s hope for ’rest of us?’
Lily grinned. ‘I have to say quite honestly, Alice, that I don’t think Leo is ’marrying kind.’
‘No, you’re right,’ Alice agreed. ‘He’s too old.’ She pouted. ‘Mebbe he’ll remember me in his will.’
‘
No chance of that either,’ Lizzie remarked. She was sitting with her legs draped over the arm of a chair. She looked tired and pale and though she had said she was pleased at Betty’s prospects, she hadn’t been as enthusiastic as Alice or Cherie. ‘I think Leo would drop you, or anybody else for that matter, if it suited him.’
‘You’re such a killjoy,’ Alice complained. ‘It doesn’t do any harm to dream.’
Lizzie shook her head and then got up. ‘I’m a realist,’ she muttered. ‘No point in dreaming.’ Lily thought that she seemed keyed up about something. She’s never jealous of Betty’s good fortune? Not Lizzie.
‘And anyway,’ Lizzie went on, ‘it’s a million to one chance that summat like that’ll happen again. It’s just a fairy tale and Betty’s found her prince. But it won’t happen to you or me, Alice, so don’t get your hopes up. Betty’s different from us and she’s not been in this game for long.’ She looked searchingly at Alice, who was very pale and languid. ‘We’re just whores, you and me. We’re fit for nowt else but men’s pleasure.’
‘Lizzie!’ Lily admonished her. ‘Don’t talk like that. Of course you are.’
‘No, we’re not. Sorry, Lily.’ Lizzie swallowed and when she spoke again her voice was husky. ‘We’ve got to accept facts. We’re stuck in this hellhole for good.’ She went towards the door. ‘I’m going out. I’ll be back later.’
Lily frowned. It was raining and Lizzie hated going out in bad weather. ‘Are you going far?’ she asked.
‘No. I just need some air.’
‘I’ll come with you.’ Cherie got up from her chair. ‘It won’t tek me long to get dressed.’
‘No.’ Lizzie was sharp in her response. ‘I need to be on me own.’
‘Oh!’ Cherie slid back down into her seat. ‘All right,’ she said in a small voice.
‘There are times when we don’t want company,’ Lily said after Lizzie had gone. ‘Is Lizzie worried about something?’
Cherie shrugged. ‘Don’t know. But she wouldn’t tell me anyway. She allus hides ’worst things from me.’
‘She’s been out of sorts for a day or two,’ Alice said grumpily. ‘Sometimes there’s no pleasing her. Do you think it’s true what she said, Lily? About her and me not being fit for owt else but this life?’ She coughed and winced. ‘I get ever such a pain when I cough,’ she murmured.
‘Did you go to see Mr Walker?’ Lily asked her, ignoring her question, for how could she answer it. ‘I said you should go.’
‘No.’ Alice leaned her head on the back of the chair. ‘I didn’t have ’energy. I’m allus too tired. I’ve to save up my strength for when customers come. I hope Leo comes tonight. He doesn’t tek a lot o’ pleasing.’
Lily felt restless and anxious. Something was not quite right. It was unlike Lizzie to go out during the morning and Alice looked so pale and drawn Lily was sure she was ill. She also had to break the news to Jamie that Betty had left and he would be angry about that.
He was and reacted strongly, blaming her and saying that she encouraged the girls to get out of the business. ‘Bring them foreign lasses downstairs for me to see,’ he told her. ‘I’m bringing some new customers tonight and they can go with ’em.’
‘They’re not here,’ she said. ‘They’ve gone. Slipped out of ’door when my back was turned,’ she lied.
‘Damn and blast your eyes,’ he swore. ‘I paid good money for them! You should’ve looked after ’em better. I’ll tek it out of your wages,’ he bellowed. ‘It’ll tek me weeks to get any more girls like them.’
‘Well don’t bring any back here,’ she shouted back. ‘They’re too young. Those girls hadn’t been in this vile trade! They were innocent.’
He put his face close to hers. ‘That’s why I brought ’em,’ he said in a vicious whisper. ‘But they were old enough. I’ll not bring anybody under sixteen.’
‘You say you won’t.’ Lily gritted her teeth in temper. ‘But sooner or later somebody will ask you to and you will. You’ll be tempted and I’m telling you now, don’t bring them here!’
He stabbed a finger at her. ‘And I’m telling you! Don’t go too far or you’ll be out.’ He indicated the door. ‘I gave you a roof over your head, don’t forget, and I can put you out into ’street as soon as I like.’
He would too, she thought, as he slammed out of the house. He wouldn’t care. She thought of what Jamie’s mother had said about him, that he would turn her out if he thought she was getting the upper hand.
Mary and Sally arrived in the early evening. ‘Can we work here tonight, Lily?’ Mary asked. ‘It’s raining cats and dogs out there.’
‘And there are a couple of foreign ships just in,’ Sally added. ‘All ’whores in town are waiting for ’em.’
‘Yes.’ Lily nodded. She didn’t mind these two so much, and they were short of girls with Betty gone and Lizzie not yet back from wherever she had gone this morning. ‘Jamie said he was bringing some new customers so go and get changed.’ The girls were not allowed to go out in any of the better clothes but had to keep them only for use at the house. She hoped that Rena might exchange them for others some time.
‘Where do you think Lizzie’s got to?’ she asked Cherie. ‘She’s been gone all day.’
‘I don’t know,’ Cherie said. ‘I’m getting bothered about her.’
Lizzie had seemed very dejected, Lily remembered. But surely not because of Betty? She wouldn’t – she wouldn’t do anything drastic, would she? she asked herself.
Lizzie still hadn’t come back by the time the customers started arriving. Alice went straight upstairs with one of the new gentlemen, but the others seemed content to have a glass of wine and chat with Cherie, Mary, Sally and Lily. Then the door bell rang and Kendall arrived.
‘Lizzie’s not here,’ Lily told him pleasantly. ‘I’m not expecting her back until late.’
He grunted. ‘I can’t wait,’ he said. ‘I’m expected at home. Who’ve you got, then? What about that girl – Alice, is it? Pale face – fair hair.’
‘She’s busy at ’minute,’ Lily said, hating this man, but hating herself more. ‘Sally is free.’
‘All right.’ He took off his coat and top hat and handed them to her. ‘Fetch her.’
She wanted to spit at him. He didn’t give a thought to these girls. They were here just to be used. All he cared for were his own carnal desires.
‘Is Leo here?’ he asked her.
‘No,’ she said stiffly. ‘We haven’t seen him all week.’
‘Huh.’ He gave a thin smirk. ‘Getting too old, I suspect.’
Lily didn’t answer; it didn’t do to discuss the clients. She excused herself to fetch Sally, who was in the kitchen eating a hunk of bread.
‘Kendall usually sees Lizzie,’ she whispered to her. ‘If you’re not comfortable with him mek an excuse to come down.’
Sally wiped crumbs from her mouth. ‘What do you think I am?’ she said caustically. ‘I’m not likely to turn down his money, am I? I’m better off in here than out on ’street.’
Lily shrugged and turned away. She could help some people, she thought, but there were others who didn’t want her help. She watched as Sally joined Kendall in the hall and saw how she gave him a saucy wink and tucked her arm into his as she took him upstairs; saw too how his face brightened and how he licked his lips as she murmured something in his ear.
Someone was playing the piano and she peeked into the parlour. One of the new men was sitting on the stool playing with one hand. Cherie was on his knee, her fingers on the keys and the man’s free hand over hers guiding it to pick out the notes.
Lily quietly closed the door on them and leaned her head against it. She swallowed, close to tears. Was this the beginning for Cherie? Was she about to be seduced by some man’s endearments? She had done her best to protect her, but how could she continue? She was working in a brothel and men expected the services of such.
She heard a tapping on the front door. She took a breath and went to open it, wond
ering why whoever it was hadn’t rung the bell. Somebody new, she thought. But it wasn’t anyone new and it wasn’t a man. It was Lizzie. Lizzie leaning on the door jamb, her face pale as death and soaked to the skin.
‘Whatever’s happened, Lizzie? Where’ve you been? Have you had an accident?’
Lizzie shook her head and all but fell into Lily’s arms. Lily practically carried her into her own room, the nearest to the front door, and helped her into a chair, unfastening her wet shawl and taking off her boots. Lizzie started to sob. ‘Don’t tell ’others I’m here, will you? I don’t want ’em to know. Don’t tell Cherie!’
‘I won’t. I won’t,’ Lily comforted her. ‘But you have to tell me or else how can I help you?’
‘Nobody can help me.’ Her body was racked with sobs. ‘I’m done for this time, Lily. I’ll end up in ’workhouse.’
The front door bell rang and Lizzie clung to Lily’s skirt. ‘Don’t tell anybody I’m here,’ she beseeched her. ‘Please! I can’t work tonight.’
‘I won’t,’ Lily whispered. ‘But I have to go to ’door. I’ll be back in a minute. Get into my bed.’
Lily went to the door to greet a regular customer and take him through to the parlour, where Mary invited him to take a glass of wine. Alice came downstairs and sweetly said goodbye to her customer, who took out his pocket book to pay. He gave Lily an additional half-guinea and whispered to her that he had given Alice a shilling. How generous, she thought cynically as she closed the door on him, and on impulse gave Alice the half-guinea.
‘Put it away,’ she murmured. ‘That’s between you and me, Alice. Now will you go and entertain them in ’parlour and don’t let anybody tek Cherie upstairs.’
Alice beamed at her. ‘Thanks, Lily. You’re an angel. And don’t worry about Cherie. I’ll get her to mek us all some coffee.’