This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.
Text copyright © 2005 by Megan McDonald
Cover and interior illustrations copyright © 2005 by Peter H. Reynolds
Stink®. Stink is a registered trademark of Candlewick Press, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, taping, and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.
First electronic edition 2010
The Library of Congress has cataloged the hardcover edition as follows:
McDonald, Megan.
Stink : the incredible shrinking kid / Megan McDonald ; illustrated by Peter H. Reynolds. — 1st ed.
p. cm.
Summary: The shortest kid in the second grade, James Moody, also known as Stink, learns all about the shortest president of the United States, James Madison, when they celebrate Presidents’ Day at school.
ISBN 978-0-7636-2025-7 (hardcover)
[1. Size — Fiction. 2. Schools — Fiction. 3. Brothers and sisters — Fiction. 4. Presidents — Fiction.] I. Reynolds, Peter, ill. II. Title.
PZ7.M478419St 2005
[Fic] — dc22 2003065246
ISBN 978-0-7636-2891-8 (paperback)
ISBN 978-0-7636-5188-6 (electronic)
The illustrations for this book were created digitally.
Candlewick Press
99 Dover Street
Somerville, Massachusetts 02144
visit us at www.candlewick.com
CONTENTS
Short, Shorter, Shortest
Shrink, Shrank, Shrunk
Up, Up, Up
Stinkerbell, Shrinkerbell
The Famous Jameses
Tumble, Fluff, Shrink!
Tall, Taller, Tallest
Shrimp-o!
Runtsville!
Shorty Pants!
Stink was short. Short, shorter, shortest. Short as an inchworm. Short as a . . . stinkbug!
Stink was the shortest one in the Moody family (except for Mouse, the cat). The shortest second-grader in Class 2D. Probably the shortest human being in the whole world, including Alaska and Hawaii. Stink was one whole head shorter than his sister, Judy Moody. Every morning he made Judy measure him. And every morning it was the same.
Three feet, eight inches tall.
Shrimpsville.
He had not grown one inch. Not one centimeter. Not one hair.
He was always one head shorter than Judy. “I need another head,” he told his mom and dad.
“What for?” asked Dad.
“I like your head just the way it is,” said Mom.
“You need a new brain,” said Judy.
“I have to get taller,” said Stink. “How can I get taller?”
“Eat your peas,” said Dad.
“Drink your milk,” said Mom.
“Eat more seafood!” said Judy.
“Seafood?”
“Yes — shrimp!” Judy said.
“Hardee-har-har,” said Stink. His sister thought she was so funny.
“What’s so bad about being short?” asked Dad.
“I have to drink at the baby fountain,” said Stink. “And stand in the front row for class pictures. And I always have to be a mouse in school plays. Just once, I’d like a speaking part, not a squeaking part.”
“Being short isn’t all bad,” said Dad. “You still get those free coloring books you like at the doctor’s.”
“And the Spider-Man pajamas you love still fit you,” said Mom.
“And you still get to use your baby step stool just to brush your teeth,” said Judy. Stink rolled his eyes.
“You’ll grow,” said Dad.
“Growing takes time,” said Mom.
“Lie down on the floor,” Judy told him.
“What for?”
“If I pull your arms, and Mom and Dad each take a leg, we could stretch you out like a rubber band. Then you’d be taller.”
Stink did not want to be a rubber band. So he ate all his peas at dinner. He did not hide even one in his napkin. He drank all his milk, and did not pour even one drop into Judy’s glass when she wasn’t looking.
“Measure me again,” Stink said to Judy. “One more time. Before bed.”
“Stink, I just measured you this morning.”
“That was before I ate all those peas and drank all that milk,” said Stink.
Stink put on his shoes. He stood next to the Shrimp-O-Meter. He stood up straight. He stood up tall.
Judy got out her Elizabeth Blackwell Women of Science ruler. “Hey, no shoes!” she said. Stink took off his shoes. He stood on tiptoe.
“No tippy-toes either.”
Judy measured Stink top to bottom. She measured him foot to head. She measured him head to foot. Something was not right.
“Well?” asked Stink.
“Bad news,” said Judy.
“What?” asked Stink.
“You’re shorter than you were this morning. One quarter inch shorter!”
Stink made a face. “Not possible.”
“Stink. The Women of Science ruler does not lie.”
“Shorter? How can I be shorter?”
“Simple,” said Judy. “You shrunk!”
“You’ll grow,” said Dad.
“You’ll grow,” said Mom.
“But you’ll never, ever, ever catch up to me!” said Judy.
When Stink woke up the next morning, his bed felt as big as a country. The ceiling was up there with the sky. And it was a long way down to the floor.
When he went to brush his teeth, even the sink seemed too tall.
“Yipe! I really am shrinking,” said Stink, checking himself out in the mirror. Were his arms a little shorter? Was his head a little smaller?
Stink got dressed. He put on up-and-down-striped pants and an up-and-down-striped shirt.
“What’s with the stripes?” asked Judy.
“Makes me look taller,” said Stink.
“If you say so,” said Judy.
“What?”
“If you really want to look taller, here’s what you do.” Judy handed him a fancy shampoo-type bottle. “Put this hair gel on your hair and leave it in for ten minutes. Then you’ll be able to comb your hair so it sticks straight up. Sticking-up hair will make you look taller.”
Stink put the goopy goop in his hair. He left it in his hair while he made his bed. He left it in his hair while he packed up his backpack. He left it in his hair all through breakfast.
“We could play baseball, and you could be shortstop,” Judy told him.
“So funny I forgot to laugh,” said Stink.
Judy pointed to Stink’s hair. “Hey, I think it’s working!” she said.
“Really? Do you think people will notice?”
“They’ll notice,” said Judy.
Stink ran upstairs to look in the mirror. “HEY! My HAIR! It’s ORANGE!”
“Don’t worry,” said Judy. “It’ll wash out . . . in about a week.”
“I look like a carrot!” said Stink.
“Carrots are tall,” said Judy, and she laughed all the way to the bus stop.
Stink’s friend Elizabeth sat next to him in class. They were the shortest kids in Class 2D, so they sat up front. “Hi, Elizabeth,” said Stink.
“I’m not Elizabeth anymore,” she told Stink. “From now on, call me Sophie of the Elves.”
“Okay. I have a new name, too. The Incredible Shrinking Stink.”
“B
ut, Stink, you look taller today,” said Elizabeth.
“It’s just the hair,” said Stink. “I’m still short.”
“Not to an elf. To an elf, you’d be a giant. To an elf, you would be the Elf King.”
“Thanks, Sophie of the Elves,” said Stink.
The bell rang, and Mrs. Dempster passed out spelling words. Three of the new words were shrink, shrank, shrunk. At lunch, the dessert was strawberry shortcake. And in Reading, Mrs. Dempster read everybody a book called The Shrinking of Treehorn.
The book was all about a boy who plays games and reads cereal boxes and gets shorter and shorter. He keeps shrinking and shrinking. Then, just when he becomes a normal size again, he turns green!
“Any comments?” Mrs. Dempster asked when the story was over.
Stink raised his hand. “Is that a true story?”
Mrs. D. laughed. “I’m afraid not,” she said. “It’s fantasy.”
“Fantasy’s my favorite!” said Sophie of the Elves. “Especially hobbits and elves.”
“Are you sure it’s fantasy?” asked Stink. “Because that kid is a lot like me. Because I’m . . . I’m . . .” Stink could not make himself say shrinking.
“Because you both turned another color?” asked Webster.
“Um, because I like to read everything on the cereal box, too,” said Stink.
“Okay,” said Mrs. Dempster. “Let’s see. Who’s going to carry the milk from the cafeteria today?” Stink was barely paying attention. He never got asked to carry the milk.
“How about Mr. James Moody?” asked Mrs. Dempster.
“Me?” asked Stink. He sat up taller. “I get to carry the milk?”
Stink walked down the second-grade hallway. It looked longer than usual. And wider. He took the stairs down to the cafeteria. Were there always this many stairs? His legs felt shorter. Like they shrink, shrank, shrunk.
Stink got the milk crate. He carried the milk up the stairs, past the office, and past the teachers’ room. Now his arms felt shorter. He needed a rest. He set the milk down outside the nurse’s office.
“Hi, Stink!” called Mrs. Bell. “I see you have a new hairstyle.”
“My sister turned it ORANGE,” said Stink.
“So, what brings you here today? Headache? Sore throat? There’s a lot going around, you know.”
“Is shrinking going around?” asked Stink. “Because I think I’m shrinking. As in getting shorter.”
“You’re shrinking? What makes you think so?”
“My sister. I mean, she measures me every morning. And I’m always three feet, eight inches. But last night she measured me before I went to bed, and I’d shrunk! I was only three feet, seven and three quarters inches. I’m a whole quarter inch shorter!”
“Don’t worry, honey,” said Mrs. Bell. “Everybody shrinks during the day. We’re all a little shorter at night than we are in the morning.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. From gravity, and all the walking around we do, the pads between our bones shrink during the day. At night they soak up water and expand again.”
“We all shrink?” asked Stink.
“That’s what I’m saying. Everybody shrinks.”
“Scientific!” said Stink.
Stink walked tall down the hall, around the corner, and back to class 2D.
“Stink! You won!” said Sophie of the Elves.
“While you were gone,” said Mrs. Dempster, “we drew a name to see who would get to take Newton home this weekend. Your name was chosen.”
“For real? Me? I get to take the newt home?”
“You have all the luck,” said Webster.
“Things are definitely looking up, up, UP,” said Stink, telling himself a joke and cracking himself up, up, up.
Stink climbed on the bus. He held the Critter Keeper carefully in his lap. “Don’t worry, Newton,” said Stink. “I’ll take really good care of you. The best.”
“What’s that?” asked Judy when she got on the bus.
“A red-spotted newt. Like a baby salamander. His name’s Newton.”
“Where’d you get him?”
“He’s our class pet. We’re studying life cycles, and Mrs. D. went to New Hamster and brought him back for us. I’m taking care of him for the weekend. I get to play with him and watch him and keep a journal of stuff that happens.”
Judy snorted. “New Hampshire, Stink. Not New Hamster.”
“You mean Newt Hampshire!” said Judy’s friend Rocky.
“It’s in Newt England,” said Judy, cracking up. Stink rolled his eyes.
When Stink got home, he did not stop to get a snack. Not even Fig Newtons. He took Newton up to his room. He got out his notebook and wrote:
Friday 3:37 Newton hiding
Stink stared at the newt. Judy came in and peered over his shoulder.
Friday 3:40 Newton hiding
Friday 3:45 Newton still hiding
“You should write BORING in your journal,” said Judy.
“Newts are not boring,” said Stink.
“Name one UN-boring thing about a newt,” said Judy.
“Newts eat crickets. And worms and slugs,” said Stink.
“BOR-ing!” said Judy.
“Red-spotted newts are the state amphibian of New Hampshire.”
“BOR-ing,” said Judy.
“Okay. How about this? Newts start out as eggs. Then they hatch and swim around like tadpoles. Then they turn into red efts and live on land. Then they change color and go back to the water.”
“Now that’s a teensy-weensy bit not-boring,” said Judy.
“And they shed their skins,” Stink said.
“Interesting!” said Judy. “Call me when that happens.”
On Saturday, Stink wrote in his journal some more.
“Stink, are you going to stare at that newt all weekend?” asked Judy.
“I’m building him a raft. Out of Legos. Maybe he’ll come out and float.”
“You know what would be really UN-boring?” asked Judy. “Put the newt in with Toady.”
“No way!” said Stink. “Newts are like poison to toads.”
“So that means Toady won’t eat him. C’mon, Stinker. Toady’s all lonely.” Before Stink could say Fig Newton, Judy scooped up Newton in her hands.
“You’re supposed to wash your hands,” said Stink. “Don’t drop him.”
“I won’t drop him.” She set him down on some moss in Toady’s tank.
Newton sniffed at Toady and curled up his tail. “He’s scared!” said Stink.
“Wait,” said Judy. Toady licked Newton.
“Take him out!” yelled Stink.
“It was just a friendly lick,” said Judy. “A newt lollipop.”
“What if Toady gets poisoned? Get him out. Get him out!”
“Don’t lay an egg!” Judy picked up Newton in her not-washed hand. “Stink! Something bad is wrong with Newton. His head is splitting open.”
“Let me see!” Stink peered at the newt. Sure enough, Newton’s skin had split, starting right at his head.
“He’s shedding his skin!” said Stink. “Put him back! Put him back!”
They peered at Newton. “Do you think it’ll really come off?” asked Stink.
“Sure,” said Judy. “It means he’s growing. Unlike some people.”
“Even a newt grows more than me,” said Stink.
“BOR-ing. I wish something would happen,” said Judy. She leaned over and wrote in Stink’s journal:
1:15 Boring!
Stink erased it. “Growing takes time,” he told Judy. “That’s what everybody always tells me.”
“Maybe if we say some magic words,” said Judy.
“Eye of newt,
Blah blah blah,
Wool of bat,
Tongue of toad.”
“It’s happening!” said Stink.
“Rare!” said Judy. She ran to get the video camera. “Lights! Camera! Action!” Stink took out his journal and wrot
e:
“Gross!” said Judy. She stopped the camera.
“Sweet!” said Stink, staring at the newt skin.
“Hey, can I have it?” asked Judy. “To show my class, I mean?”
“No way!” said Stink. “You already showed the whole world my dried-up baby bellybutton. I’m showing my class.”
“Mrs. Dumpster would want you to show my class, too.”
“Not if you keep calling her Mrs. Dumpster.”
“P.U.! What’s that smell?” Judy held her nose.
“What smell?”
“That dead-skunk smell. That one-hundred-year-old-dirty-sock smell. That three-hundred-year-old-rotten-egg smell.” Judy walked around Stink’s room, sniffing here, sniffing there. “It gets super-stinky as soon as you get close to Newton.”
“Newton!” cried Stink. He sprang up from the floor, where he’d been drawing comics. Newton was in his hidey-hole. “Maybe it’s the chopped-up dead worms in there. And dried-up crickets. Why isn’t he eating?”
“Grody, grody, gross! There’s green-y slime everywhere,” Judy said.
“And brown stuff floating in the water.”
“Stink, you have to clean it every day. Newts can die if their water gets too dirty.”
“Since when are you the newt genius?”
“Since I read it in Newtsweek magazine. You have to dump out the yucky water and wash the rocks and clean off all the slime and stuff.”
“That’s a lot of homework!” Stink said.
“C’mon, Stinkerbell. I’ll help. We’ll be the Slime Busters.”
“Slime Busters! Double cool!” said Stink. “But you can’t call me Stinkerbell.”
“If you say so, Stinkerbell. Let’s take it down to the big sink.” Stink carried the Critter Keeper down to the kitchen, but he couldn’t reach the sink.
“Here, let me,” said Judy. She took the Critter Keeper from Stink and set it on the counter. Stink stood on a kitchen chair.
“First we have to get Newton out so we can clean his house. Stink, hold this jar. Let’s put Newton in there.”
“Okay,” said Stink, holding a tiny net. Judy reached in to scoop out Newton with her hand.
“The net!” cried Stink. “Mrs. D. says use the net for scooping him out.”
Stink: The Incredible Shrinking Kid Page 1