“What are you doing here?” she asked, keeping her voice even and cool.
“Can we talk?”
“We said everything we needed to say last week.”
He strode in as if she hadn’t even spoken. He looked good, and smelled good, too. As if he’d just taken a shower and come right over to tempt and torture her.
“Lorena, you never let me explain the other day.”
“I did let you explain. You told me Reshemah is a friend and nothing happened. I heard everything you said.” She only needed to hold it together long enough for him leave, and then she could commence to falling apart.
“You heard me, but you don’t believe me.”
“It’s over. Nothing you say will change my mind. I don’t believe you’ve changed, and I don’t want to be with you. Find someone else’s heart to break. Find someone else to make a fool of.”
She focused on her anger. It would help her get through this latest trial with him. But she saw sadness in his eyes, and it confused her. He looked defeated, and try as she might not to feel anything, her heart went out to him.
“Lorena, I’m not perfect. I’ve done things in my past relationships I’m not proud of, but nothing happened in the hotel in New York. When we first started dating, I admit it, I was scared. You had me thinking about things I’d never considered before—marriage, children. It scared the hell out of me. My parents’ marriage didn’t exactly make for a good template of what a healthy relationship should look like. I didn’t want to fall in love or get married. Certainly not at this young age. I had too much living left to do.” He ran a weary hand down the back of his head, his biceps bulking up under the linen fabric of his shirt. “I have a confession to make. I need to be honest and tell you what happened months ago the first time we were together.”
“No, I don’t want to know.” Lorena backed up. “Please don’t tell me.”
“It’s important. You have to know the truth.” Matthew closed his eyes and hung his head. “I didn’t cheat, but I wanted to. I’m not proud of what I did.” He swallowed and lifted his head. “Reshemah had come to see me once before in Atlanta, before you and I became a couple. We hooked up, and she went on her way. When you and I were together, she called to say she was passing through again. The right thing to do would have been to tell her about you, but I didn’t.”
“I don’t want to hear this.”
“It was right after the night we were lying in bed together and you started talking about us having a future together,” Matthew continued, ignoring her protest. “I panicked. I guess I wanted to feel like my old self, so I told her she could swing by. The minute she showed up, I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I kept looking at her, and all I could think about was you. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, and she didn’t know what was wrong. I actually felt sick to my stomach, if you can believe it. She ended up leaving, and I came to see you.”
Matthew sighed and ran his hand over his face. “I think subconsciously I wanted you to break up with me. I’d never been careless before, and coming to your house smelling of perfume was definitely careless. The reason I even smelled like her perfume was because she hugged me when she came and hugged me again when she left. For no other reason. When we got into the fight, I saw it as my way out, back to normalcy, back to my old self. But after we broke up, I had a…problem I couldn’t get rid of.”
“What problem?”
He heaved a heavy sigh. “I couldn’t get it up.”
Lorena’s eyes widened. “What?”
“Yeah.” A pained expression crossed his features. “Since you and I split, I haven’t been with anyone else. If you repeat this, I’ll deny it till the day I die. I got worried, so I went to see a therapist, for performance issues.”
“You were impotent?” Lorena gasped.
“Whoa, whoa,” Matthew said with a frown. “Nobody said anything about being impotent. Let’s not throw that word around all willy-nilly. The therapist said I had deep feelings for you, and I needed to accept them instead of trying to fight them.”
“I’m shocked.” She suddenly felt more beautiful and sexy than she’d ever felt in her life. The thought that he’d become incapable of having sex with anyone else buoyed her spirits.
“Don’t look so pleased with yourself,” Matthew said dryly.
Lorena straightened her mouth into a serious line, unaware until he commented that she’d been smiling.
“As for Reshemah, she’s not a bad person. I never told her about us until I saw her in New York last week. Once I did, she backed off. She agreed to call you and vouch for my story, but I decided against it. You need to believe me based on my words alone, not anyone else’s.”
His words sounded like music to her ears, but she still felt the need to exercise caution.
“Lorena, I’ve never felt like this about anyone else. I know you had feelings for me long before I did for you, and maybe that’s why it’s harder for you to take the leap. I’m a different person. I’m not the same man I used to be. Nothing happened. You have to believe me.”
He came closer. Her feet remained planted on the carpet, her body immobilized.
“I want to believe you, Matt, I do.”
“I know what you’re doing,” he said. “You’re testing me.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. But I’m not going anywhere. I’m not giving up. I’m not like Linus. I’m not walking away. I’m not throwing in the towel and forfeiting the game, because I’m miserable without you, and I know you’re miserable without me. You’re just scared.”
“Of course I’m scared. How do I know you won’t be tempted away by one of your sex buddies?”
“Have you been listening to me? My body won’t respond to another woman. I don’t want anyone else but you. And remember, I came back after the knee to the nuts. I hung around even though your ex hired two thugs to try to beat the crap out of me on the side of the road. What do I have to do to prove I’m serious about us?”
He took her hands in his, and warmth spread from her fingers throughout the rest of her body. It felt good to touch him again, his hands holding hers in a firm but gentle clasp.
“I’m not giving up,” he said. “I love you, and that won’t change. You don’t have to believe me, because I’m going to prove it to you. I’ll prove it to you every single day until you accept it and realize I’m not going anywhere ever again, and I’ll never purposely hurt you. I’m going to be at your job, at your house, at your parents’ house. You can’t get rid of me, Lorena. You love me, and I love you, and I’m not giving up on us.”
“Matt—”
“You can do whatever you want,” he continued, cutting her off. “You can throw me out, you can not see me, not take my calls, and you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to keep showing up. I’m going to keep calling. I’m going to prove to you I’ve changed. That I’m a good man. That I do love you.” His voice thickened, and she started to tremble, overcome by emotion. “Get ready. I’m going to wear you down. I’m sending you flowers, jewelry, chocolates—whatever I have to send you to make you happy, and I’m not stopping until you believe I love you. I’m not stopping until you trust me again. I’m not stopping until you can’t help yourself, and you come to me, and you curl up in my lap and purr like a little kitten.”
The last bit took her aback. She blinked, staring up at him wide-eyed. “What? I…okay.”
“Okay,” he said firmly.
He kissed her forehead, lips lingering in a tender touch. Then, without another word, he headed out the door.
He left her standing in the office, emotionally drained but feeling more alive than she’d felt in days. He’d told her everything. He loved her. They loved each other. He was trying. She could see it, and she could meet him halfway.
If she hurried, maybe she could catch him before he left.
When she burst through the front door of the building, he stood beside the SUV with the door open, ready to cli
mb in. “Matt, wait!”
He paused, his face grim—so unlike the man she’d gotten to know and fallen in love with over the past four years. His smile hid somewhere, behind the stoic mask he’d slipped over it.
“I believe you,” she said. “I miss you and…I love you. So much.”
His body sagged, and he closed his eyes. In two strides he closed the gap between them and lifted her off the ground, crushing her to him. She didn’t complain. She held him just as securely, arms wrapped around his neck as tight as they could go.
“I never stopped,” she said in a ragged whisper against his neck.
His mouth settled over hers, and he kissed her hard, stealing the breath from her lungs. She returned his ardor, caressing the finely trimmed hairs of his head, happy to be in his arms again.
When they finally stopped kissing, she rested her forehead against his and kissed the tip of his nose. “So I put it on you?” she said softly.
He let out a sexy laugh that made her squeeze him tighter. His eyes, even his rich brown skin, seemed to come alive with his laughter. “I plead the fifth.”
“No, you have to answer the question because you made me answer it,” she insisted.
His killer smile spread wide across his face. “Yes. You put it on me.” He gave her a quick peck on the lips. “I’m never letting you go again,” he whispered.
“Please don’t,” she whispered back.
Chapter Fifteen
Sunday afternoon, a week later, Lorena and Matthew lounged at his place after a drive back from a trip to the mountains. They’d taken off Thursday morning and headed into North Georgia for a long weekend and spent time exploring the hiking trails and white-water rafting.
They were lying on the sofa watching Bullitt. In the comfortable silence, Matthew stroked her hair. He marveled at how lucky he was to have won her back. They were the perfect match. He couldn’t think of a single woman who’d be interested in going hiking with him, nor could he think of anyone else willing to brave the physical exertion of five miles of rapids in a tiny boat.
“They don’t make movies like this anymore,” Lorena said with a yawn, her head resting on his chest.
“True. This is a classic,” Matthew responded.
The high-pitched tone of his cell phone went off, alerting him he’d received a text. He stretched his arm to reach for his phone on the coffee table and read the message.
“Lorena,” he said excitedly, “another Hawthorne is about to enter the world.”
“Huh?”
“Celeste went into labor. I’ve got to go to Athens.”
They sat up. “Oh good! She was already overdue. I’m coming with you.”
“Come on. We’ve got to hurry.”
****
By the time they arrived at the hospital, Roarke was in a chair in Celeste’s room, holding his newborn son wrapped in a blanket, so enthralled by the miniature version of himself, he didn’t notice when Lorena and Matthew walked in. Celeste turned her head to acknowledge their presence.
From her position in the bed, Arianna popped her head up from her mother’s shoulder to whisper an excited, “Hi, Uncle Matt!”
His brother finally looked up.
“What have we here?” Matthew asked.
“That’s my baby brother,” Arianna answered. “We have to look out for him and teach him everything ’cause he’s a baby, and he doesn’t know anything.”
“So you’re going to be a good big sister?”
Arianna nodded, her face solemn with the importance of her task.
They walked over to where Roarke sat with his son. “Number three,” he said proudly. “Roarke Hawthorne the Third.”
“He’s beautiful,” Lorena said. The newborn had a head full of black hair, and his eyes were closed in peaceful sleep. She looked at Celeste, who had a tired but content expression on her face. “How do you feel?”
“Relieved,” she replied. “Relieved he finally decided to make an appearance, and relieved he’s healthy. Once he decided to enter the world, he just came on out. I barely made it to the hospital on time.”
“Where’s Mrs. B?” Matthew asked.
“She’ll be back. We ran out of the house so fast we left my packed bag. Mom went to get it for me.”
The door swished open, and Cassidy made her entrance. “Where’s my nephew?” She rushed over, elbowing Matthew out of the way. Lorena smiled. Those two were always at it, but she knew they’d do anything for each other. “Can I hold him?”
“Wash your hands first,” Roarke said, drawing back.
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“You heard him,” Matthew said, taking her by the shoulders and turning her in the direction of the bathroom door.
“This is ridiculous,” Cassidy complained.
“He’s a baby. His immune system isn’t developed well enough yet to combat your germs,” Roarke said.
Cassidy rolled her eyes and flounced toward the bathroom, grumbling under her breath.
Roarke’s phone rang. “It’s Derrick.” He hit the connect button. “Hey, Derrick, I’ve got you on speaker.”
“We got the message,” Derrick said. “How are Celeste and the new baby?”
“Everybody’s fine.”
“Sorry we couldn’t be there.”
“We understand. You’ll see him when you get back. By the way, how did the meeting go?”
“I’ll let Eva tell you.”
An investigator had located Eva’s father last year. Both her parents had been very young when her mother became pregnant. When her father stated he didn’t want a child, her mother left California. After a change of heart, her father tried to find her mother, but family members refused to tell him her whereabouts out of respect for her wishes.
For months Eva and her father had communicated via Skype while he was stationed in Afghanistan. Upon his return to the United States, he’d been discharged and started his retirement.
“You’d think we hadn’t been talking for months, but when I saw him face-to-face…” Eva’s voice faltered. “I was overwhelmed. He apologized again for the things he said to my mother which caused her to leave California. I told him it was okay, and I gave him a big hug. My stepmother has been wonderful. My brother and sister took a few days off from summer classes to come meet us. Since my father’s retired, he said he’ll have a lot more time on his hands, so he wants to come visit us in Atlanta to spend time with his first grandchild.” As if she knew she’d become the topic of conversation, their eight-month-old daughter, Violet, started babbling in the background. “Do you hear her? She already loves her grandpa.”
“Guess what? She’s been saying ‘dada’ pretty regularly now,” Derrick said.
“And I haven’t heard the end of it,” Eva said.
They all laughed.
“We need to get everyone together for a family portrait,” Roarke said as Cassidy came out of the bathroom with clean hands. “We need a new one to hang in the vacation house on St. Simons Island.”
“Why don’t we do it on a bigger scale? How about a family reunion? We haven’t had one in years,” Matthew said. “We could get everybody together and hire a professional photographer.”
“Good idea!” Eva said. “I could take care of the planning.” She’d grown up on St. Simons Island and had once been a regional events coordinator for a hotel chain.
“I’ll help you, Eva,” Cassidy piped up. “Let’s plan for next summer.”
Matthew cleared his throat. He slipped his arm around Lorena’s shoulders. “Next summer sounds good. It’ll coincide with the wedding.”
Cassidy frowned. “What wedding?” Her eyes widened to saucers when she looked at Lorena’s face. “Ohmigod! You and Matt are getting married? Why didn’t you tell me!” She threw her arms around Lorena’s neck.
Lorena grabbed her best friend and squeezed her tight as everyone offered their congratulations. “We were going to wait to make the announcement. We haven’t
even picked a ring yet. We want to get one specially designed.”
She looked up at Matthew’s smiling face. “I couldn’t wait to tell everybody,” he said sheepishly.
“I’ve got a jeweler in New York, Matt,” Derrick said. “I’ll get you his number.”
“Uh…I don’t know if I can afford your guy, Derrick.”
“Don’t worry about it. He’s got different price ranges, and he’ll give you a good deal. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed. That’s where I got Eva’s ring.”
“We need to capture this moment,” Celeste said. “A new baby and the newly engaged couple. Let’s get one of the nurses to take a picture for us.”
“I’ll go find one,” Cassidy said.
“I’ll come with you.” Lorena followed her out. In the hallway, she hooked her arm through Cassidy’s. “Where’s Antonio?” she asked.
“He was out with friends when I received the text, and I didn’t want to bother him.”
“Really?” Her explanation struck Lorena as odd. Cassidy and Antonio did almost everything together. “Are you guys okay?”
“Oh yes, of course,” Cassidy said hastily, though she didn’t quite meet Lorena’s eyes. “Antonio and I needed a break from each other. We’re married, not joined at the hip.” She laughed, but her laugh sounded hollow.
“Cass, Antonio’s my brother, but if you ever need to talk—”
“No, no. Really, we’re fine. Everything’s perfect. We’re still in the honeymoon phase.” This time she did look her in the eye, but something about her smile didn’t seem genuine. Before Lorena could pry any further, Cassidy called out to one of the nurses and asked her to take the photo.
Back in the room, Celeste let Cassidy and Lorena fix her hair and apply lipstick. Then they all posed around the bed. Matthew put his arms around his sister and Lorena. Roarke sat on the bed with his son in his arms and Arianna between him and his wife.
The nurse snapped several photos of the entire group, and they took a few of just the baby. They sent them all to Derrick and Eva.
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