by Sweet, Izzy
I try to lift his arm off me but the damn thing feels as if it’s made of lead, it won’t move. He groans, stirring a bit so I push at him. His hand grabs me by the hip and he drags me closer.
“Chase?” I ask as he molds his body against my ass.
I think this morning he’s happy to see me.
“Hmmm?” he grumbles and nuzzles into my neck.
“I need to get up,” I say regretfully.
“Leaving so soon?” he asks and I feel his morning wood nudging against my thigh.
I actually consider trying to hold it and staying in bed with him, but ultimately decide it’s not worth the risk.
“Yeah, sorry,” I apologize. “I haven’t peed the bed since I was two. I’ve got a good streak going.”
Chase chuckles, his breath puffing hotly against me.
Right now warm things are bad. I groan and his arm lifts. I jump out of bed and rush for the bathroom. I make it just in time.
After taking care of business, I brush my teeth then check myself out in the mirror. My eyes are bright and for once I actually look like an honest to goodness morning person.
Sex with Chase seems to agree with me.
My hair is a mess but other than that my skin is glowing and the dark circles that are usually ringing my eyes when I first wake up are gone. I don’t feel tired or like I need coffee. If anything, I’m ready to take on my day.
I’ve got quite a few things to do. Hastily, I pull my brush through my hair, working on the rat’s nest that’s knotted where my bun was. Then I hop in the shower and wash up.
I come out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my body and a towel wrapped around my hair. I peek towards the living room but Chase doesn’t seem to be there. I pad quietly to my bedroom.
The lazy bum is still in bed.
“Mmm, something smells good,” he says huskily and rolls over.
He’s still naked. My white sheet slips down his hip, flashing me the V just above his groin.
I bite my lip and his eyes flash. Oh, this isn’t good. It seems even after last night there’s still this incredible pull between us. I’ve had him twice. Shouldn’t it be enough?
I feel Chase’s eyes burning into my back, following me around the room as I gather up an outfit to wear. I scamper back to the bathroom, feeling entirely too self-conscious with a man who’s had his hands all over my body all night long, and dress there. I just can’t bring myself to stand in front of him in the bright light of the day.
It feels too vulnerable, too real.
“Avery?” Chase asks while knocking on the bathroom door. I’m so surprised I nearly jump out of my skin.
“Yes?” I ask and pull open the door.
He’s standing there wearing only his black boxer briefs. I take in his chest and inevitably my gaze slides down. Chase clears his throat and my eyes dart up.
He grins a crooked grin and boldly asks, “Like what you see?”
So cocky. My cheeks may flush with heat because I honestly do like what I see when I look at him, but I roll my eyes as if I’m not impressed.
“Do you need something?” I ask.
His grin twists into a smirk as if he’s not fooled. “Are you done with the bathroom?”
I nod and he steps to the side. I slip past him and make my way to the kitchen. Sebastian meows loudly while pacing in front of the cupboard.
After taking care of Sebastian, I pull the leftover pizza out of the refrigerator. I munch on a slice of cold pepperoni pizza as my breakfast. As I’m chewing, Chase pops out of the bathroom and disappears into my bedroom. I’m not sure how I feel about him walking around as if he belongs here.
Chase isn’t my first hookup, but he is the first I’ve had recently, and most definitely the first that has actually stuck around. I dated a couple of guys in high school but we did our hooking up in their rooms or the back of their cars, any place we knew we wouldn’t get caught. I think ultimately they all turned out to be pansies who were intimidated by Ethan. If they couldn’t handle my best friend then I didn’t want them around anyhow.
But things are different with Chase. I’ve never wanted a guy like I want him. I’ve never felt about a guy the way I feel about him. Already he’s invaded my mind and taken up half of my thoughts. Somehow there’s all these feelings forming inside me, feelings I can’t seem to fight. And it’s starting to scare the shit out of me because I’ve only known him now for a measly forty eight hours.
We had wild sex together and I don’t regret a moment of it. If I could do it all over, I totally would.
But what do I know about Chase? Who is he? What does he like? Where does he even live? All I know about him is that he seems to really like beating up people for a living. And he has a nice ass. And a big dick. Definitely two big pluses, but I need to know more. Who is Chase really and what does he want with me?
Chase appears from my bedroom wearing the polo and jeans he wore last night.
“Hey,” he says as he comes into the kitchen and grabs a slice of pizza. He takes a big bite and swallows.
“Hey,” I say back. We stand there, in my kitchen, eating cold pizza and just looking at each other.
When Chase finishes his slice, he pulls out his phone and checks it. “What do you got going on today?”
“I’ve got to do some studying, and I have class this afternoon.” I answer before taking another bite of pizza. I swallow the bite and remember, “Oh, and I have to meet up with Ethan too.”
Chase’s eyes fly up from his phone and he gives me a dark look of death. “What? Why are you giving that asshole the time of day?”
Woah. Things just got awkward quick. “Um,” I answer and drop what’s left of my pizza before crossing my arms over my chest. “Because I told him I would? Weren’t you right here when I did?”
Chase nods and there’s a stern set to his jaw. “You should blow him off. You don’t have to talk to him after what he did to you.”
I sigh. Honestly, if I could blow Ethan off, I would. But things are complicated.
“He wants a chance to apologize to me. And some stuff has come up with work. I might need to find another job. I don’t know. I need to talk to him to find out.”
Jobs aren’t easy to come by here, especially for unqualified people like me who are in school and can only work specific hours. I’d much rather keep the job I have because it works with my schedule, and it keeps me off the streets with a little food on my table. But if I have to find another job, I need to find it as soon as possible. Rent isn’t going to pay itself and I’m pretty sure Sebastian will be none too thrilled if he has to start sharing his cat food with me.
I can tell Chase doesn’t like my reason for meeting up with Ethan just by the dark look on his face. And I can’t blame him, really. He saw what Ethan did to me and he almost went to jail sticking for up for me. But what can he do?
He must be thinking the same thing because his mouth keeps opening as if he wants to say something. He probably wants to tell me he doesn’t want me to meet up with Ethan, and he can tell me that, but if he orders it, I’m going to give him the boot.
If Chase wants to be with me, he’s going to have to accept that Ethan and I are friends. But right now, feelings are raw all around. Maybe after some time, we can all manage to get along.
“Just meet him in a public place,” Chase finally says begrudgingly. “I don’t trust him. Do you want me to come with you?”
“No,” I say right away. Not a good idea. “You should definitely not come with me.”
I can only imagine how Ethan would react if I showed up with Chase as protection. I don’t want to start a war.
“I fully plan on meeting him somewhere public, where there are lots of witnesses.”
Chase still looks frustrated and I feel bad that I caused it. I wish I never brought it up now. I don’t want to end what happened here between us, no matter how confusing it still is, on a sour note.
I step around the counter and hesitantly step into his personal b
ubble. I shouldn’t have been so hesitant because he immediately reaches for me and pulls me into him.
“I had a really great night,” I say softly and feel myself blushing again like I’m some silly school girl.
Chase sighs and bends down, pressing his forehead against mine. It’s totally sweet until his hands slide down to my ass. “I had a really great night too.”
“When I’m done with everything tonight, can I call you?”
“Yes,” Chase says and his hands give my butt a hard squeeze.
We end up kissing and nearly tearing each other’s clothes off. We somehow find the strength to separate before we get too carried away.
It’s insane how easily, how quickly he can ignite me. I send him out the door with a smile and promise to call him as soon as I’m available.
I walk back to my room and grab my books, intent on doing some studying. My whole apartment smells like sex though. Like sex and Chase. It’s too damn distracting. I end up leaving for school, hoping I’ll get some work done in the library.
Chapter Ten
Avery
I tried to study, I truly did but my eyes just kept blurring at the words, going out of focus. And if I wasn’t thinking about Chase and all the amazing things he can do with his body, I was dreading talking to Ethan. I just couldn’t win.
My child development class wasn’t much better. This time I sat in the back and zoned out until the very end of class when my instructor mentioned paid internships. I nearly flew out of my desk and elbowed my classmates out of the way to get my hands on an application.
If I could land the internship which is a paid position doing administrative work at the local youth shelter, it would solve my working for Ethan problem. The work experience and extra credits would be nice too.
I filled out my application and handed it over to the instructor before heading out the door.
Once out the door, I pulled out my phone. I’m staring at the screen while I walk.
Funny, Chase’s number is listed just above Ethan’s. My thumb hovers over Chase’s name. I wonder what he’s doing. What does he do when he’s not beating someone to a pulp? Hmm.
Ethan is pretty familiar with my schedule now. Sometimes after class we’d meet up before I went to work and eat lunch or hang out. So it’s not surprising at all that just before I slide my thumb down to press his name my phone starts ringing.
“Hey,” I say, lifting the phone to my ear as I walk through the building’s double doors and out into the courtyard.
“Out of class?” Ethan asks.
“You know I am.”
“Cool. I’m just around the corner.”
I glance up and look to the front curb, past all the benches and bushes. Sure enough Ethan’s red little coupe rounds the corner and parks. The passenger door swings open and Ethan leans over the seat, waving at me.
I click my phone off, sigh and shove it in my pocket. There’s no avoiding this now.
“Hey,” I say slipping my backpack off my shoulder and sliding into the car.
I close the door then drop my backpack to the floor. Just as I click in my seat belt, I have to take a deep breath.
I’ve done this so many times before, it feels so normal, so comfortable. Just like an old shoe. Perhaps this was a mistake. Perhaps I shouldn’t have felt like I had to get in the car because he was already here. I should have told Ethan to meet me somewhere later.
I don’t want to give him the impression that’s nothing changed between us.
“Hey,” Ethan smiles at me as if nothing’s wrong, nothing’s changed. He shifts the car into gear and we zoom forward. “How was class?”
Honestly, I wouldn’t know how class was. I was too busy thinking about other stuff. I shrug my shoulders, “It was class.”
Ethan nods as if he understands. I’m not sure if he’s even stepped foot in a college. Since Ethan graduated from high school, he’s taken on the role of Regional Manager with Glier’s Electronics. He’s already confessed to me that he’s Regional Manager in title only. He actually does very little work. It’s simply a position for him to fill until the day he inherits the entire business from his father.
An uncomfortable silence falls between us. I don’t know what to say. I feel uneasy trying to broach the topic of what happened here, secluded with him in the car. If I piss him off again, which given how much he’s changed I wouldn’t put it past him, there’s no one around to help.
So I press my lips together and stare out the window, deciding its best not to say anything at all. I take comfort in watching the familiar scenery flow past as he drives us to our usual lunch spot.
At least he’s not pushing it and driving me back to his house.
Once we pull up to Brian’s Burger Shack, Ethan throws the car in park and jumps out. I grab my backpack, any other time I’d just leave it on the floor, and exit the car.
Ethan frowns as I slip my backpack over my shoulder but otherwise doesn’t say anything as we walk into the restaurant. We find our usual booth in the back. The waitress appears and Ethan even gives her our usual order.
I slump in my seat and just let him do it. This all feels way too messed up.
It’s not until the waitress sets our cokes on the table and disappears that Ethan finally speaks. “Look Avery, I’m really sorry about what happened.”
I just look at him. Does he just expect me to forgive him? By how soft his baby blues have gone, I kind of get the impression that he does.
When I don’t say anything, Ethan licks his lips nervously and goes on, “I shouldn’t have pushed you into the wall.”
I nod my head in agreement. “You shouldn’t have.”
“I feel like shit,” he admits. “You didn’t deserve it.”
“I didn’t.”
Suddenly Chase’s voice fills my head. No man should ever hurt a woman.
“I don’t know what came over me. I’ve never lost before,” Ethan frowns. “I reacted poorly. I’ll never forgive myself for taking it out on you.”
If we weren’t friends for so long, I’d just wash my hands of Ethan and write him off as a total dirt bag. But I thought, given everything he’s done for me, I owe him the chance to apologize to me. He’s never hit me before, he’s never before been so aggressive. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.
We’ve been friends for so long, for so long he’s been the only other person who cares about me.
“You blamed me for your loss,” I say and stir the straw in my coke around. “You not only pushed me, you forced a kiss on me and said I owe you.”
Ethan winces as if I just slapped him or something and says softly, “I wasn’t in my right mind.”
I sigh, lean back, and cross my arms over my chest. “Do you think I owe you? Have you thought that all this time?” I take a deep breath and can’t even look at him as I ask, “Do you want me to repay you for Grandma’s funeral?”
I don’t have the money, but I’d figure out how to get the money somehow. We’d have to work out an installment plan or something.
“No, Avery, fuck no,” Ethan curses.
I almost sigh in relief. Who am I kidding? I’m barely scraping by as it is.
“You don’t owe me anything. If anything, I owe you.”
I frown and shake my head at Ethan. “You don’t owe me.” I’ve never been able to do anything financial for him.
Ethan nods, “I do owe you. I owe you because I’m a fucking asshole. I feel disgusted by what I did to you. It’s like a nightmare I just want to forget. I’m not that man. I’m not a scumbag that hurts women.”
Ethan pauses to take a deep breath and says with such sadness. “I don’t want to be a fucking monster.”
I sigh. This is not how I expected this to go at all. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this.
Ethan and I have so much history, so much good history, and to have it end over what he did is just sad. Watching him verbally beat himself up, hearing him call himself a monster jus
t strikes a chord with me.
“You’re not a monster,” I tell him. Then I think very, very carefully about my next words. “But you have changed. I don’t feel like I know who you are anymore. I’m not sure I like the person you are now.”
Ethan nods and rubs his hand down his face. “It’s all this fighting. I’ve let all this shit go to my head.”
The waitress reappears and we’re quiet as she sets our plates down. My stomach growls, and though I’m in no mood to eat, I can’t help but reach out and snag a french fry.
With reflexes like a damn cat, Ethan reaches out and captures my hand. The french fry drops to the plate. My heart feels like it’s frozen mid-beat.
Ethan looks at me, his baby blues pleading. “Do you think we can fix this?”
His face falls as I respond softly, honestly, “I don’t know.”
“Let me make it up to you, Avery,” he pleads, squeezing my hand. “Is there anything I can do?”
I shake my head and resist the urge to pry my fingers from his grip. “You don’t have to make it up to me. But I do think you should probably look into some anger management classes, for yourself.”
Ethan nods. “I’ve already booked an appointment with a counselor.”
I’m a little surprised, and a little impressed. Maybe he honestly wants to work on himself.
I smile at him. “That sounds like a great start.”
He squeezes my hand again and let’s it go. I pick up my french fry and pop it in my mouth.
“How’s your head feel?” Ethan asks and picks up his burger.
“It’s much better now,” I answer and shove another french fry in my mouth. Now that I’ve had one I want them all.
“Did you see a doctor?” Ethan asks and takes a bite out of his burger.
I nod my head. “The one at the arena said I was good to go.”
Ethan chews, swallows then frowns. “I’d feel much better if you were seen by my personal physician.”
“I’m all better, honestly.” I wave him off and pick up another fry.
Ethan looks like he wants to say more about it. I glare at him to show him it’s not a good idea.