He could gag me, cut out my tongue, lock me in that horrible basement, but that parasite we shared, that double-ended worm latched into our souls, meant he couldn’t silence me.
“Goodnight, Gabel. Enjoy your dalliance.”
An Unexpected, Unwanted Ally
As we got dressed in preparation for Anders’ arrival, I focused once more on feeling utter contempt for Gabel’s cheap games.
“Will you be ready on time, buttercup?” He intruded on my silence as I brushed my hair.
“Yes. I will not miss this for the world,” I told him.
“No?”
“Miss the mighty Alpha Gabel of IronMoon revealing what a small, pathetic hypocrite he is?” I asked his reflection. “You’ll parade it for all the world to see. I want to be there and remember it.”
He snarled.
I spun around and faced him. “You are pathetic, Gabel. You brought Anders here because you think he’s disloyal and has broken his promises to you. And what are you doing? You’re betraying me.” I pointed at my arm. “You’re only doing this to prove you can, and it’s pathetic. The King-Alphas of old who built kingdoms that lasted didn’t treat their Queens like garbage. Those Kings led by example. They were the wolves everyone else wanted to be like, and they built Kingdoms that wolves wanted to be part of. The others rotted into the ground within a generation. Your Kingdom will crumble and rot the instant you are too feeble to growl.”
My insides seared me as his rage built, but I didn’t care. Good. I’d hit a nerve. I’d hit it again! I wanted to be free, and if stoking his hatred was what I had to do, and I had to endure humiliation and Platinum, then I’d endure it. The Bond howled at both of us. He grit his teeth, and I held onto the counter behind me like it was the railing of a boat.
I smirked through pain. “You better put a shirt on. One with sleeves to hide your shame.”
“I am not ashamed,” Gabel growled.
“Then you are an idiot.” I shoved past him.
I yanked open the door to our room, and Platinum was on the other side, dressed and coiffed to perfection in a delicate purple sundress. “Oh, good morning!”
Rage stabbed into my bones, but I schooled it into disgust for an Alpha who would abuse a sacred, holy promise just for his own amusement, and for a King-Alpha who would humiliate his Queen with such a cheap, tawdry female. At least Gabel could have better taste and be less obvious about it. Stupid, clod-headed, crotch-governed male.
My dark blue satin dress showed off my pale skin, and the obvious Mark on my arm. Platinum’s eyes zeroed in on it, and her brows drew together in a little scowl.
Those collars weren’t around Anders’ neck, they were around Gabel’s, and this was all the Moon’s trap. She was about to tug that black collar.
I could have warned him, but he wouldn’t have listened—and I didn’t want to.
This was utter, raw, public humiliation, and nothing would ever ease the pain of it. On the surface I had control of roiling instincts, and that was what mattered, and that was what infuriated Gabel. He seethed, aware of the water of my pain and the oil of my scorn. He could stop the pain, and maybe if he acted decently, he’d disarm my scorn, but he wouldn’t do either.
That would be admitting defeat.
“He’s almost ready,” I told Platinum. “I’m sure he’ll be out in good time.”
“Then I’ll sit on the bed and wait for him,” she sneered back.
If Gabel was going to let her sit on my bed, in my own den, go right ahead! Just another mark of disrespect and how pathetic he was. His Kingdom would be dust and bones before the generation was out. Moon spare me from ever producing pups by him! “If that’s what he wants, fine.”
Mental discipline had its benefits, and Gabel didn’t have an Oracle’s training.
I brushed past her and went down into the kitchen, where the ranked members of the pack had gathered. Flint, present with Beta Hix and a few others, asked me, “Where is Alpha Gabel?”
“Upstairs,” I replied.
“He didn’t come down with you?” Flint asked.
“No. Gardenia is going on his arm,” I said with pride and satisfaction because my voice didn’t tremble. “I am going on my own. As the Alpha’s Oracle.”
Because I could, because fuck Gabel. I still had my own rank without him, and I was going to stand there in sunlight with my pale skin and Marked arm, and drink in the entire damn sight of him demonstrating what a small little creature he was, and how powerless he was to stop me.
Flint frowned, and Beta Hix’s cruel face shifted into something I think was disapproval. I soaked in the awkwardness.
“You should go as the Alpha’s BondMate,” Flint finally said in the strained silence.
Not a chance. I smiled. “Alpha Gabel is the one who decided he would rather take Gardenia.”
Flint folded his arms across his chest and pondered me as if he understood my game, but the others looked extremely uncomfortable. The Master of Arms nodded once. “If that is his wish.”
“Indeed.” I agreed. “I’m certain he has his reasons. Gardenia made it quite clear to me yesterday who he preferred for the task.”
The Bond snapped at me, and I kicked it back into its corner.
My smug satisfaction almost failed when Gabel appeared with Gardenia, hand in hand. Not even arm and arm. Hand in hand, fingers tenderly entwined.
Part of me withered and died, like a single petal falling off a rose.
I snatched the rest of me close and dismissed the dead part in anger. I must not have needed that part of me. There was plenty left.
Flint flicked Gardenia off Gabel’s arm, and half-dragged the Alpha aside to whisper to him in intense, disapproving hisses. I told myself to relish it. Gabel ignored Flint’s advice and Hix’s furious glare, and no one else dared move, question, or speak.
“This is inappropriate,” Flint risked saying as Gabel returned to Platinum, “and very unwise.”
“This is what I have chosen,” Gabel retorted.
“Lady Gianna?” Flint asked.
I managed a shrug. “He Marked me without my consent. I’m not going to fight for him. They deserve each other.”
We filed out into the sunlight to greet Anders. The plan was to do a formal greeting, then the two Alphas would break to discuss business somewhere of Gabel’s choosing—perhaps with Platinum present, perhaps not—and then reconvene for dinner. After dinner the GleamingFang would leave.
I took my place at the very end of the line between two unranked warriors.
They shifted like nervous horses.
You will regret this, Gabel, but I won’t. Not one damn bit.
It hurt. I embraced it. Pain meant the Bond was dying. Pain meant I was that much closer to freedom. If I couldn’t breathe, it was freedom. If my heart screamed, it was freedom. If my legs wanted to run and fling Platinum into the koi pond, it meant freedom was that much closer.
Alpha Anders had already arrived. Gabel had kept him waiting on the patio, which didn’t seem a smart move. There was a fine line between power games and being downright insulting. But it wasn’t the first stupid decision Gabel had made that day.
Anders was a handsome wolf, older than Gabel. He struck me as capable but worried. Very worried. With him were a dozen strong, younger warriors who I already knew by scent were no match for anything Gabel had.
Gabel introduced the ranked members of his pack, then Gardenia, and did not introduce me.
The Mighty Alpha Gabel, would-be King, playing the games reserved for adolescents.
The meeting lasted some time. Gabel would hold Platinum’s hand, release it to emphasize some point of conversation with an artful gesture, then reclaim it.
Every time he touched Gardenia, a twinge of pain crossed between us, and I began to recognize the shift in his jaw, and the flicker of hesitation in his hands, or the slight pause in his words. He marched and clawed over the pain and dragged it forward with him until it fell away.
So that’s what pain was to him. He didn’t enjoy pain, he enjoyed his control over it. The harder I fought him, the better he liked it. He loved the fight, but he didn’t love my burning scorn and disgust for his antics.
The realization almost made me laugh out loud.
He actually turned his head toward me and looked, his face dark, but everyone else just wondered why he had done it, as I had not moved.
Platinum giggled and fluttered with glee at being included in the conversation and having a center stage seat. There I was, my Mark thumping into my skin demanding I go over there and punch Platinum in the face and Gabel in the balls, at the end of the line. But I saw it all clearly now. Weeks of praying and pleading with Her to show me something, and finally, it was here.
It wasn’t over between Gabel and I. The simple attacks of stealing me, trying to spook me, then terrifying me ripping off my clothing were only openers.
Gabel brushed a kiss along Platinum’s fingertips at something funny she said, and brought her wrist to his nose to inhale the stench of her perfume. I caught myself before I lunged at both of them. Hix and Flint twitched, though. I think the whole line flinched, and eyes darted to me before darting back to the proceedings, and even Anders noticed it.
Every shred of my training went into remaining calm.
You will regret this for a very, very, very long time, Gabel. What you have done here today cannot be undone.
The Moon turned in the back of my mind, and for an instant, Her light brushed over my skin despite the sunlight, a cool rush like water.
“Will we be expecting a Bond announcement soon?” Anders asked in a dry tone of voice that carried to my ears and his warriors some steps away.
“Perhaps,” Gabel told Anders.
The shock that went down the line was not lost on Anders. “So this is the first your pack as heard of it.”
“Indeed,” Gabel said, Platinum’s wrist to his nose again, his own Mark covered by the long sleeve of his shirt.
The Tides seemed to be around my legs, up to my knees, churning and flooding inward.
Remember this moment, Gabel. You will regret it for the rest of your life.
Afterward, I holed myself up in my scrying room. I could mandate nobody bother me there. Not even Gabel.
I wept.
It all hurt, more than anything else had ever hurt. He had taken what didn’t belong to him and what I hadn’t wanted to give him, and mangled it for his own demented pleasure—and it was only going to get worse.
A knock on the door.
I ignored it.
Another knock on the door. Louder this time.
I untangled myself, went to the door and pulled it open a crack. “What? It’s not time for dinner yet.”
Beta Hix informed me, “I need to speak with you.”
“I am busy.”
“So am I.”
He shoved his booted foot in the door.
“Fine. But do not wander around.” I opened the door for him, and I slammed it shut behind him. “Don’t step in the salt circle.”
He looked around the spartan room. Then back at me. I didn’t try to wipe away the tears or pretend like I hadn’t been sobbing. “What do you want, Hix? Gabel sending his favorite toady to bring me missives now?”
“No, Gabel does not know I am here.”
I rubbed the worthless Mark on my arm.
“I came to apologize for how you were treated today.”
A pang hit me. “Oh.”
“I did not think it would be appropriate to speak out in front of Alpha Anders and risk Gabel’s dominance over GleamingFang.”
“Couldn’t risk Gabel’s empire of blood and spit, could you? Get out of my sight. That’s exactly why Alphas like Gabel behave like they do. Because no one has the balls to stand up to them.”
Hix’s eyes trailed over my Mark. He frowned as if he was going to say something. Then his dark eyes went to me. He was quite close, close enough I smelled the force of some emotion I couldn’t define. Conviction, maybe, and old regret.
His eyes were dark. Dark as my favorite scrying bowl, and in their currents were unspoken words and buried memories. “I’ve stood up to an Alpha before, Lady Gianna, and it’s always more complicated than that.”
“There is nothing complicated about what happened today,” I retorted. “But I don’t care. I don’t want to be with your Alpha, and if he can somehow get hard and fuck that slut through the Bond’s punishment, good. I want this Bond dead, and I want to be free, and I will endure any pain I have to to make it happen. So you run back to him and tell him that like the good little toad you are.”
“I see no reason to tell him that,” Hix said. “I do not believe he is actually doing anything with her besides—”
“I don’t care.” I lied to both of us.
“I am sorry, Lady Gianna. I am very, very sorry.”
“Is she with him and Anders?”
Hix’s face darkened. “Yes, he is.”
“We all have to play our parts, don’t we?” I asked bitterly.
He looked away.
“Get out,” I snapped, tears erupting. “Get out, you gutless Beta!”
“As you say, Lady Gianna.” He half-bowed, then left my room.
A Worthy Adversary
At dinner, Platinum occupied my place next to Gabel. My new seat was across from Romero at one of the lower tables, surrounded by his favorite pets. The room snickered when I entered. Platinum raised her drink to me and asked sweetly, “Finally joining us, Oracle?”
“It suits the Moon that I be here.” I had changed into something that covered my Mark, since I didn’t want the questions or Anders’ curious look. Platinum’s beautiful face twisted into a scowl at my statement, but Gabel tapped her shoulder, sending shocks of electrical pain through both of us.
Romero grinned at me. “Gianna.”
“Second Beta,” I replied. “I take it this state of affairs suits you?”
“Completely.” Romero grinned wider, and his wolves chuckled.
“If it was purely up to me, I’d willingly leave on my own four paws, and you’d never see me again.” I poured my own drink and took what portions were left. Didn’t matter they had left me scraps. I wasn’t hungry, and the insult meant nothing after that afternoon.
“Don’t say that too loudly, Gianna. Anders might get the wrong idea.” Romero flicked his fork in my direction.
Anders was too busy being disgusted by Gabel kissing a delicate tattoo of kisses along Platinum’s wrist. My stomach snapped like a cobra with each one. “And what idea do you think he’s going to get if the truth comes out?”
“That Alpha Gabel does what suits him, when it suits him,” Romero said. “Maybe you should be asking yourself what happens to you when he’s done with you, Oracle.”
Sniggers from my tablemates. I took another look back at Gabel and Platinum, then back at Romero. “Looks like he already is, but I’m still eating his food.”
The Mark, however, was still intact.
* * *
After Anders left, I retreated to my bedroom. Gabel could sleep by himself, unless he wasn’t, and I wasn’t going to walk in on that.
A soft knock on my door. I groaned and peeked around the door. Violet said softly, “Alpha Gabel expects you in your quarters.”
“Is he alone?”
Violet sighed. “Gardenia was sent away after dinner.”
“So not how she or I planned to spend our evenings, I guess.”
“Please go,” Violet pleaded. “He’ll come drag you out if you don’t.”
“After today, maybe he should.” Maybe I should make Gabel drag me down the hallway by my hair. But Violet pleaded, so I got out of my tee-shirt and panties and put on a robe instead. I knew the drill: naked.
He was already in bed reading and didn’t say a single word to me, or even look at me. He still reeked of her perfume and the scent of her flesh mingled with his scent of ash. Disgusting. Just what had he been doing with her
while convincing Anders—and maybe Platinum herself—she was the one he had chosen?
I pushed the thought into a deep hole. I’d just torture myself, and he’d enjoy it. Me not caring pissed him off.
The next day was subdued in the house. Platinum pouted at Gabel and glared at me with pure malice the entire day. She even followed him out into the summer sunlight to watch him train, clapping and jumping around like a cheerleader. I watched from the kitchen. It didn’t afford the best view because of hedges and courtyard gardens, but her almost ice-white hair bouncing around was unmistakable.
Afterward he summoned me up to his office. “I need you to look at Anders again.”
“Nothing’s changed.” Except everything had changed. His antics would have consequences for years to come.
He tilted his head to the side. “No?”
“If some simple encounter will change the determined course of events, the Eye is closed. Outcomes are normally the result of many previous choices. It is very rare some trivial action will change them. You bringing Anders here for a civil meal changed nothing.” Except perhaps teaching one of his lieges what bad taste in women he had. Just wait until Anders found out the truth.
I refused to give him the satisfaction of pointing any of this out. If he wanted to discuss how badly he’d behaved, he’d have to bring it up.
He paced from his windows overlooking the training ground to stand before me. The sunlight shone through his hair, illuminating the tips in gold. I inhaled reactively and got a noseful of his peculiar, ashen scent.
I summoned the memory of his antics, and it rewarded me with a pulse of fury that shot down our joined soul.
It hit like a drum, reverberating with anguish, and more importantly, disgust.
Gabel jerked his head to the side, his gaze going back to the window. His strong jaw ticked as his muscles clenched. “Meaning the Moon foresaw me attacking Anders, and it changes nothing.”
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