"Yes."
"It will puzzle me if you do not. I do not know if I would feel relief or disappointment. Perhaps a little of both."
"You do not like being fed from?"
"My lady makes it exceedingly pleasant, and I ask for it. However, she would be jealous. I will point out she is expecting you to, and I am to obey."
"Well, I haven't decided," she said. "I will admit I have thought about it a great deal. But I worry it would strain my relationship with your lady."
"I cannot advise you. I believe she will be jealous, and I suspect she will find a way to remind me of my place. But she will do that regardless." I sighed. "Transfusion number seven will be tonight or tomorrow."
"You weren't kidding earlier?"
"No."
"I have heard of blood slaves being kept alive to drag out their deaths, but this is different."
"Or maybe it isn't," I suggested. "She may be fooling me in order to keep me complacent. She may intend another party like the first, scheduled for my last evening with her, but this time, she may drain me dry. She has that right."
I looked down. "Please change the subject."
"Will you tell me what the apple tastes like?"
I looked at the apple, cut in slices and arranged on a plate. In the meantime, she retrieved a bottle from the refrigerator and eyed it. "I prefer warm blood, but this is drinkable." She poured a glass.
"The apple is sweet and juicy," I said. "It has its own unique taste. This apple is a variety that is just slightly soft. Other varieties are quite crisp. Some are tart, some very tart."
"What is your favorite?"
"I like a style called Fuji. They are crisp and sweet with a good shelf life. These are Red Delicious apples." I shrugged. "I do not turn them down."
"Fuji apples are better?"
"It may be a matter of taste. Do you prefer A-positive over O-negative?"
"I do not have a preference based on type, although some vampires do. But your diet matters. Your sugar is probably elevated from the soda you consumed earlier, and the sugar in the apples. That will make you sweeter. Some vampires thrive on blood with ample adrenalin pumping through it."
"So they scare their meals?"
"Yes." She paused. "Most vampires consider that a treat, but for most of us, it is like pizza; good once in a while, but bad for you if you eat it all the time. And only the foolish would try. Fear also adds its own hint to your blood. I believe it causes the blood to spoil, but other vampires disagree and prefer a fearful meal."
"Well, the apples are like that, I guess. Whoever buys your apples either prefers Red Delicious or has never tried a Fuji. Or perhaps your grocer simply does not carry them."
I finished my snack, and we returned to the sitting room, still talking. It took a while, and I knew she was hinting around, but I wasn't sure what, when finally she asked, "Were you serious about your art?"
"I made a living at it. That's pretty serious."
She frowned. "Were you serious when you said you lost the beauty?"
"Oh. Yes."
"Can you explain that?"
"I can try. Are you familiar with optical illusions where you see different things based on your perspective?"
"Yes."
"Well, everything is like that. Imagine a forest scene: trees, flowers, bushes, birds, furry forest animals. I used to see the animals as cute, the flowers as beautiful, the trees as verdant. The green leaves glowed with an inner light and shook tantalizingly in the breeze."
"All right."
"Now my mind sees the shadows. The animals have sharp teeth and evil grins. They are dirty and have fleas. They defecate everywhere. In the shadows are poorly hid monsters. The birds are large mosquitoes, diving on unsuspecting people. The trees are alive and malevolent. And, in plain view of it all, are the vampires, subjugating the humans, forcing us to their laws, feeding from us, defiling us."
I sighed.
"I know the beauty is there, and I can look at a flower and see beauty. But I can't stop seeing the horror, and when I draw, I draw the horror. Perhaps my previous view was hopelessly naïve, and I have matured, but if that is the case, I would rather have been immature and naïve. I cannot live a full lifespan seeing only ugliness and horror."
I shrugged. "I once created beauty. Perhaps that is such a small gift, and I overstate the importance. My art was certainly not important. It was only pretty. I once thought of myself as important to society, as I brought forward beauty, but I understand society considers me quite expendable. Perhaps what I produce now would be considered important, but it is not like anyone will ever see it."
"Why not?"
"Because if my art were to become public knowledge, the vampires would surely see me dead, would they not? I took a great risk in what I drew here two weeks ago, but if I hadn't, I would surely already be dead. I believe I'll be dead soon."
"So fatalistic."
"I came very close to dying two weeks ago at your whim. My life carries no value to the vampire overlords. If my mistress doesn't kill me, one of you will."
"My whim?" Her eyes narrowed. "Perhaps you should explain that comment."
"Perhaps it wasn't whim. Perhaps it was another game. I couldn't judge that. But you did not allow my mistress to extract me from Rachel's scheming, and you did so for the simple reason that 'there must be entertainment'. You were willing to see me beaten by that women and then drained to death. For entertainment."
She was silent, but she did not threaten me, and her anger did not bubble forth.
I looked away. "I am only a blood slave, of course, and you knew nothing about me. If I were a blood slave, I must deserve death. That is, after all, the price of a glass of wine followed by an errand of mercy."
I returned my gaze to hers. "My apologies. I am bitter, and it comes out. You offer friendship, but I do not know how good a friend I could be to you. And I do not know that I can forget you were nearly a key component in my death, even though you also cooperated in my escape. I believe that was a game as well, but it was played at a level much higher than I can understand."
She pursed her lips. "So we are not to be friends after all? I misunderstood you earlier?"
"I did not say that. I do not believe I will survive this experience and thus will not be alive to offer friendship. But if I do survive, I do not know if I could ever be a good friend to a vampire. I do not even know if I will ever be a good friend to anyone again. I have vowed I will never again put myself at risk for someone else. What sort of friend could I be? Lady Dunn believes I am resilient, that I will recover with time. Perhaps she is right. If so, then perhaps I could be a good friend to you. That is not rejection of your offer. I simply state I do not believe I will ever be in a position I am able to be a proper friend. I would like to be wrong. I have enjoyed my time with you tonight."
"So I may consider that a yes, with an understanding that your abilities are limited, and not through your own choice?"
"Yes," I said. "That is a fair summary. I am cautious because I do not wish you to believe I offer more than I am able to deliver." I shrugged again. "I am a human and, at least for now, only a blood slave. You perhaps have low expectations, anyway."
"Actually, I do not. I have very high expectations, and you have only served to raise them higher. I do not believe I will be disappointed."
She changed the subject, lightening my mood with tales of history. It was fascinating to talk to someone who had lived through events humans could only read about. But eventually I yawned.
I was instantly horrified. I dropped to my knees before her, my head bent to the floor. "I am sorry! I am sorry!"
"Oh, my dear," she said, "it is late. I quite lost track of time. I often forget that most people sleep. I do not, you see, and have not for a number of years. Please, get up. I wish to discuss one or two more things, and then I shall see you home."
I glanced up, and she was smiling with no hint of anger, so I slowly returned to my seat.
&
nbsp; "I wish to address your future."
I opened my mouth to respond, but she held up a hand. "This is a time you are going to listen and not interrupt."
"Yes, Madame Cathalina."
"You have a fatalistic view of your situation. I share your lady's optimism. I wish to make you an offer. I do not expect you to accept tonight, but the offer is there, and if ever you wish to accept, you may." I nodded understanding. "I do not believe your sentence will prove fatal, although I understand your lack of faith. I also believe you are resilient, but you are so deeply assailed by your situation, it requires all your resilience to survive. Once your situation improves, your resilience can address these other issues."
She paused, and I was tempted to interrupt, but I did not.
"If, once your sentence is over, you require a home, you have one here. I can provide a gentle, healing situation. Perhaps your old skills will return. Or perhaps you will continue to produce the art the vampires will dislike. I can protect you and give you freedom to produce your art. I can also provide any counseling you require to heal, and I can even perhaps provide other friends. I can certainly provide a sympathetic, if perhaps somewhat older ear."
"Are you inviting me to offer myself as blood slave?"
"Oh no, my dear. I am offering you friendship, and your status would be of honored guest and, if you can stand the thought, member of my family. We would negotiate your freedoms."
"You would imprison me?"
"It may be that you would be concerned for your own judgment, and ask me to help you manage your choices. Or you may decide you are perfectly able to make your own decisions regarding your comings and goings."
"This is a princely offer," I stated. I looked down. "I have concerns I should share."
"By all means."
"I have become somewhat, well, attuned to feeding my lady."
Cathalina smiled. "Perhaps a more accurate word is 'addicted'."
"Yes, perhaps it is. I am concerned if such pleasures were only a few steps away, the temptation would be too great, and I would find myself asking."
"I can understand your reluctance to continue feeding a vampire."
"That is not it. If you were to refuse, I would probably become petulant and an ugly guest."
I wasn't looking directly at her, but she shifted position, capturing my attention, and I looked up. She was smiling.
"We would discuss that, and we would do what you need for healing, or if healing is not possible, what it takes for you to be happy. You understand, the exchange is uneven. You receive pleasure as a reward for your gift, but it is a gift of life, even when it is only a swallow or two."
"Are the members of your household addicted like I am?"
"I do not feed from them as regularly as I do a blood slave or as regularly as your lady feeds from you. And I do not offer them the pleasure I offer a blood slave."
"I don't understand," I admitted.
"I do not wish them to become addicted, and so I do not give them so much pleasure that addiction is likely. And vampires become very, very good at recognizing the personalities that could become addicted far too easily; we only hire those individuals if we wish to use them badly. I do not hire them, and neither does your lady."
"Her maid-"
"Ah, yes. Her former maid is addicted. That is a story for another day."
"You do not see a problem with my addiction?"
"No. If you wish to be weaned, then we will wean you. If you wish to remain addicted, we will discuss it and do what is right."
"Even if that is to allow me to remain addicted?"
"Yes, but I do not believe that is the choice you will make. I have helped others to break the addiction. It is not physical addiction. You are in a precarious position, and as we have discussed, your resiliency is deeply stressed. I believe as your position improves, your need for the pleasures provided will be reduced. But if I am wrong, I will enjoy helping you. It is a pleasure to me as well."
"Would I have a place to paint?"
"Oh most definitely. Your lady described your current setting, and I find myself intrigued. I can provide something similar, but perhaps different enough there are not too many overlapping memories."
"You are very gracious. I will remember your offer and may one day accept."
She smiled. "Good. I would very much enjoy having you."
I sat quietly while she looked at me. She came to a conclusion and said, "I have two more things to discuss. They are brief. I have another offer for you, and I will not be offended if you do not accept, or if you ask to consider it further. I can, perhaps, help to shore up your resiliency."
"Oh?"
"Has your vampire glamoured you?"
"Yes. Sometimes against my will, but sometimes I ask. She helps me sleep."
"If you allow me to glamour you, perhaps I can help you."
"I do not believe I could stop you. You ask permission?"
"I would not force my help, and I have nothing nefarious in mind."
I looked at her with a spark of hope, and I felt the tears welling. I brushed them away and looked down, the hope failing. I knew my situation was hopeless.
"Oh dear," she said. "Hope, and then gone so quickly?"
I nodded.
"I am going to tell you the other thing I wished to discuss, and then you are going to ask me to glamour you."
"Why will I do that?"
"Because you need what I am offering. Now, the other topic: I wish you to offer a taste. It is a token only."
"I am a blood slave. I can hardly deny you."
"I do not want the offer from a slave. I want the offer from a friend."
I nodded. "Of course." I looked up. "Before, or after?"
"After."
I lifted my eyes, staring directly into hers. We paused like that, and then she said, "You must ask."
"Please, Madame Cathalina, if you can help me with a glamour, I would like your help."
"Of course, Melissa." Her eyes immediately began to glow, and I was instantly captured, far, far faster than when Lady Dunn did it. There was a pocket of my mind that registered surprise, but I felt myself entirely absorbed in her eyes, my mind coming to a complete blank, an open slate upon which she could write.
"You are stronger than you know, Melissa," she said. "Believe!" And she pushed at me somehow, and the word bored into my soul.
Then her eyes faded, and I slumped in the chair, released.
When finally I could speak, I said softly, "Much older than my lady."
"Yes," she said. "Much, much older, and you have already guessed your lady is not young."
I felt the hope she had planted. "You have perhaps played a cruel trick on me."
"I do not believe I have."
"You have perhaps given me exactly what I needed."
"That is my belief," she agreed.
"I would offer you more than a taste, Madame Cathalina."
"But it is only a taste I wish to accept, Melissa. For me, what I did was a small thing, nearly trivial for me. Do not friends help when they can?"
I nodded, then moved back onto my knees before her, my back straight the way Lady Dunn had taught me. I tipped my head back, exposing my throat. "Will you feed from me, Madame Cathalina?"
"With delight," she replied. "But not from your throat. We will save that for your lady, and thus perhaps assuage a portion of her jealousy. Please, let us move to the sofa and sit side-by-side."
She stood then took my hands and helped me to my feet, leading me to the sofa I had once occupied with my vampire. She sat, patting the place to her left, and I joined her, somewhat stiffly.
"You are left handed, I believe, and would prefer to offer your right wrist."
"Yes," I said. "I feel a lack of grace. My lady has taught me how she wishes the offer. I do not know how you do."
She reached for my hand, pulling it into her lap, cradling my wrist in one of her hands, my elbow in her other.
"This is for both of us,
" she said. "Do you wish to enjoy this? It may increase your lady's jealousy."
"I am not able to say 'no', Madame Cathalina."
"Then lie back," she ordered. "Relax your body."
I leaned backwards against the sofa, following her direction, and closed my eyes.
"Good," she said. "I am going to sip slowly, taking very little, but savoring you." And then she lifted my wrist, and I felt her tongue stroking me. Immediately I felt a soothing warmth, and when her fangs entered my wrist, there was no pain, not even a pinprick.
"Ohh," I said. "So easily done."
"Yes," she said around my wrist. "And delicate." She flicked her tongue against me, and more of her warmth slid into me.
The pleasure grew, slowly. It felt far different than when Lady Dunn did it. If I were going to paint it, I would paint Lady Dunn's bite in vivid colors. I would paint Madame Cathalina's with much more subtle choices.
She licked at the wound, the blood bubbling slowly, and each lick was a tiny surge of pleasure, but the surges built, and they built. I moaned in ecstasy.
And then the licks changed, and I knew she was healing the wound. She lowered my wrist to her lap, but did not release it.
"I would not spoil you for your lady," she said quietly. "I thought only that you should know."
It took some time before I could turn to face her. "Was that a game between you and my lady?"
"No, although she is worried you will prefer me. But we both know your feelings for me are not the same as your feelings for her. If you truly were a junkie, I could steal you from her, but you are not." She smiled. "It was, however, punctuation to our earlier discussion. If you need a home or you need comfort, you will find it here."
I nodded. "Thank you, Madame Cathalina."
"You are welcome, Melissa. And now, it is time to return you home. Your lady is undoubtedly wondering whether I seek to keep you."
She moved with the grace of a vampire, rising far faster than I could, and helping me to stand. "Will you mind if I indulge myself?"
I knew what she meant, and I passed the end of my leash to her. She grinned. "Will this bother you?"
"No."
She tugged, but it was lightly done, and together we walked to her front door. I was expecting her limousine to be waiting for us, but instead I saw what appeared to be a very expensive sports car, the top down, waiting for us. She led me to the passenger door then held it as I stepped in.
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