by Mia Carson
She tottered off down the hall with her wine glass, muttered ‘Happy New Year’s,’ and closed her bedroom door quietly. Danny sat in the kitchen for a long while, playing over the last eight years in her mind as the clock rolled over to midnight. The years would have been so different if Jack had been in them. She loved their daughter, but it had been tough, even with her mom helping out. The thought of telling Jack the truth scared her enough to gulp more wine. He would hate her for it, she knew he would. Keeping the fact that he had a daughter from him this whole time? Back then, she had an inkling she didn’t deserve a man like Jack, but now, that inkling had become a burning flame of regret and guilt. She knew she didn’t deserve him, not after what she did.
It was unforgivable.
Her cell vibrated in her pocket, and she pulled it out to see a text from Jack telling her a time and place to meet him tomorrow night after his game. His flight didn’t leave until Monday morning, so he had all evening to catch up with her. The message ended with him saying he hoped she’d show.
Danny didn’t text back. She couldn’t, not until she tackled some of the demons running rampant in her mind.
CHAPTER 6
Jack accepted the congrats and pats on the back in the locker room after the game. He’d scored two touchdowns, running the second one back from the fifteen-yard line. It was a damn good day to be a Texan. But his thoughts were no longer on the game. He hurried to his locker to check his cell.
“What’s your hurry, man?” Nick asked as he opened his locker next to Jack’s. “You’re all tensed up. Got a hot date tonight?”
“Jack always has a hot date!” someone yelled across the room. Several guys chuckled.
Jack didn’t listen. He unlocked his cell and sighed with relief when he saw a message from Danny saying she’d meet him. “Well, tonight Jack has a date he’s been waiting eight years for.”
Nick frowned. “Eight years? Wait, is this with the chick who dumped you?”
“Yeah, it is,” he said hesitantly.
“Why are you seeing her again? She left you, man. I’d say you stand her up tonight.”
Jack shook his head as he changed out of his sweaty gear and grabbed a towel for the shower. “Why the hell would I do that? To be an asshole? I don’t know what happened.”
“Exactly. She probably cheated on you.”
Jack paused. The little girl with her… He didn’t know how old she was, but he knew Danny. She’d never have cheated on him. There was another explanation. Something else happened, and he was going to find out. “Let it go, man. I’m seeing her tonight, and that’s final.”
“She still hot?” Nick asked with a waggle of his brows.
“I’m taking a shower,” Jack muttered and pushed his way through his teammates.
Since bumping into Danny last night, she’d been all he could think about. The regret in her eyes told him one thing—she hadn’t wanted to leave him the way she did. So why leave at all? Why not tell him what was going on? As the warm water poured over his body, Jack remembered the few conversations he’d shared with Rick before he left for Texas. It all came back to her mom and the marriage. Was the little girl maybe not hers but someone else’s and Danny adopted her? But that hair… she was definitely Danny’s. He closed his eyes and told himself to keep it together. He was still angry. He found that out last night after he got back to the hotel and threw back a few bottles from the mini bar. She’d left him with no explanation. No calls. Nothing. And he had a feeling she’d never even gone to New York.
Doesn’t matter. Just find out what happened so you can put it all behind you.
But was that what he really wanted to do? All those nights they’d spent wrapped in each other’s arms, her body imprinted against his after all these years? Every time he had sex, he pictured Danny, not whoever happened to fall into his bed. Hell, he’d given up on a serious relationship years ago. He found a girl his junior year and things got serious pretty quick, but no matter what he did, every time he was around her, he compared her to Danny. No one was good enough, which was Danny’s fault.
By the time he was out of the shower, Jack was finished playing the nice guy who agreed to understand whatever Danny had been through. She’d put him through hell, and it was her turn to understand what she’d done to him.
“Hey man, what’s with the look?” Nick asked when he left the shower.
“What look?”
“You went in there happy. Get in a fight with yourself?”
“Nope,” he muttered darkly. “I just realized that tonight is going to be a chance at payback.”
“There’s my man! I thought I lost you there for a minute,” Nick said, slapping him on the back. “What are you going to do?”
“Not sure yet, but sure as hell not going to let her think the past eight years has been perfect.”
“Just show your little black book of lays. Let her see what’s she’s been missing.”
Not like she doesn’t have her own, Jack thought. She had a kid with someone else.
By the time he left the stadium and reached his hotel room to finish getting ready, Jack was not the man Danny had known. That man had disappeared when she left him, and he wasn’t sure if one night with her would bring him back. False hope. That’s all it had been. Nothing else.
***
Danny hadn’t been this nervous since her first date with Jack all those years ago. Jenna had asked her why she was all dressed up, and Hazel explained quite happily that her mom was going on a date. Jenna had squealed and jumped up and down before stopping to ask her aunt what a date was. Danny wasn’t even sure she could do this, but Hazel shoved her out the door.
She was sitting downtown in a bar, waiting for Jack to show up. She was on her second glass of red wine, playing with her phone and wondering if she was at the wrong place when the door opened and Jack strolled in. Her hand tightened on the glass as his eyes searched the bar. Should she wave? Her hand was stuck on her glass.
Oh, God, is this a panic attack? I’m panicking… I can’t do this!
She considered sneaking out the back, but it was too late. He finally spotted her and cleared a path through the crowd with his broad, muscled body.
“Danny,” he greeted, his eyes smoldering as his lips twitched into that iconic smirk.
“Jack.” She breathed his name and cleared her throat, heart pounding in her chest. “I… uh, I thought I had the time wrong.”
He called out for a drink and shrugged one of his shoulders, the muscles rippling beneath his tight black t-shirt. “Nope. I took my time getting here.”
Danny fiddled with her glass. “Oh, that’s alright. I watched your game today. Good run for that second touchdown,” she said excitedly, remembering the play exactly.
“Yeah, I know,” he said smugly as his drink was delivered. He chugged half of it. “Didn’t play as well as I had hoped, but we won the game. That’s all that matters to them.”
“Right, and you won,” she repeated lamely as her heart pounded in her chest. This had been a terrible idea. He had asked her out, but he seemed anything but happy to be with her now. “You didn’t want to go out with your teammates to celebrate?”
“Nah, we usually do our own thing. I troll the bars and see what chick I can take home for the night. I like the company,” he added with a wink. “You know, just doing what I do.”
Danny gritted her teeth as she realized the Jack she saw yesterday had apparently been a fluke. He’d changed, and not for the better. “I see you’ve finally let your old reputation become who you really are. That’s nice to know,” she said and stood. “I think I’ve had enough to drink for one night. Go find yourself a girl you can lay.” She pulled out a twenty from her purse and laid it on the table, ready to walk out the door.
“Danny, wait,” Jack said and gently grabbed her arm. “Sorry. I’m used to going out with my buds. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Right, and you don’t try to get laid every night?”
�
�Comes with the territory,” he shrugged, and she glared at him. “At least sit with me and have one more drink. I’ll buy.”
Danny eyed the door and debated if it was worth it to stay or not. Then again, after leaving him the way she had, it was the least she could do. Hoping his attitude had softened, she sat back down, and he ordered her another round.
“When did you move down here?” he asked, scooting in closer so they didn’t have to talk so loud.
“I never left after Mom’s wedding,” she told him. “There was something I had to take care of. My stepsisters… They got into a bit of trouble, and Mom needed me here to help out.”
“Trouble? Like what?”
Why do you have to ask so many questions? Her brow furrowed, and she dug around in her brain for something that would make sense, but nothing came to mind. “Just trouble… You know, family stuff.”
“I see.” He shot back the rest of his drink. “And you never went to New York?”
“No, I had to give that up, like I said,” she told him quietly, not wanting to meet his gaze. She could never lie to him when they were younger. Eight years hadn’t changed that. “Been working ever since to help out where I could, just trying to get by for me and… and my daughter.”
His hands tightened on the edge of the table. “Jenna?”
“Yes, Jenna,” she said. “I’d do anything for that kid.”
“And you said her dad isn’t around?” he pushed.
“Ah… No, he’s not.” She fiddled with her napkin, tearing it to pieces and knowing he was watching her intently. If she met his gaze, she’d spill everything, and the way he was acting already was bad enough. If he found out Jenna was his and she’d left him out of the picture? He wouldn’t understand. “There were some complications.”
Jack didn’t say anything for a long time. Eventually, he blew out a breath, and she glanced up to see a bit of the old Jack pass across his face. “It seems like you’re doing well now, though.”
“I am,” she said. “We manage to get by. We live with Hazel for now until we both can get back on our feet. I couldn’t just get drafted and become a millionaire.” She laughed when she said it, but the bit of the old Jack she’d seen disappeared in a shot.
“No, you couldn’t, but I did. Eight years of college ball and pro ball, going from one season to the next,” he said. “Got the life I wanted. It’s perfect, just so goddamned perfect.” His cheeks burned, and color crept up his neck, too. “Damn it, Danny. You think you’re the only one who went through shit?”
His sudden anger made Danny flinch and lean back. “Jack, I just… I thought you had what you wanted.”
“No and yes,” he said. “You just left me, Danny, walked out of my life and I never heard from you again. I can’t even look at another woman without seeing you!”
His words startled her even more than his anger, and she struggled to catch her breath. “Really?”
“Yes, damn it. I get laid all the time, but it’s never been the same. I can’t just sit here like I thought I could, staring at you, not knowing where the hell we went wrong.”
“We didn’t,” she whispered harshly, not angry at him but at herself. Slowly, she stood and grabbed her purse. “I did, Jack, and I’m so sorry. I think this was a mistake.”
“It’s only a mistake if you leave me again,” he growled.
Danny straightened and held her head high, walking right past him and out the door. The second she hit the sidewalk, tears slipped from her eyes, trailing down her cheeks as she fought to hold back the sobs wanting to wrack her body. She never should have come. He was angry and had a right to be, but she couldn’t handle it… The guilt consuming her every time she looked at him. He needed to leave the city before she did something stupid and told him everything.
“Danny!”
No! Just keep walking. You can’t do this! You’ll ruin whatever life he’s made for himself! She tried to listen to that voice as another crept up and whispered, Even if he’s really as miserable as he says he is?
“Danny, wait!” Jack pulled her around to face him, and his face fell when he saw hers covered in tears.
“What? You didn’t think this hurt me just as much to see you?” she sputtered.
“No, I didn’t know what I was saying, Danny. I don’t understand what happened,” he said, confused and angry at the same time as he ran a hand through his hair. “I loved you, damn it!”
“And you think I didn’t love you? Look, Jack, things happened, and I just… I had to get away,” she muttered lamely.
“And you still won’t tell me?” he lamented.
She shook her head frantically as the pain from the last eight years bubbled up inside of her. “I can’t. It’ll make you hate me more than you already do.”
The sadness filling his eyes broke her heart all over again, and she tried to turn away, but his hands took her shoulders so she couldn’t turn away.
“Danny, I don’t hate you,” he stated.
“Sounded like it,” she whispered, hating how hurt she felt all over again.
“No,” he said, his voice lowered. “I’m pissed, but can you blame me? The only reason I knew you weren’t dead was because your dad told me, once a year, that you were still doing fine.”
Danny’s tears had stopped. “My dad? You talked to him?”
“Yeah. I never had a number for your mom, so I called your dad.” His hands tightened on her shoulders. “I had to know. I’m sorry, but he never told me any details.”
“He never told me you checked in.”
Jack hefted his tense shoulders in a shrug. “I told him not to.”
She’d been hoping he’d found a way to move on with his life, but he’d called her dad to make sure she was alive every year. Not that Danny was any better. She might not have called his parents, but she watched every single college and pro game he played in, recording most of them along with after-game interviews, just so she could see his face and hear his voice. What had they done to each other?
That summer together, he had taken her apart in so many different ways, touching each piece and branding himself on it so she could never forget him. She had done the same to him and never even noticed. How could he have forgotten her? Over the eight years, she tried to tell herself his love had been a phase, and if they ever met again, he would wave and introduce his new wife and family to her. Not hold her on the sidewalk as raindrops started to fall, wiping her tears away with his thumbs as he used to do. It was surreal, as if she’d traveled back in time before her life was changed forever and she made what might have been the worst decision of her life.
“Danny? Look at me,” he demanded.
She lifted her head slowly, and his gaze swallowed her whole. His love for her stretched out, covering her body, and before she realized what was happening, she leaned forward to kiss him. The moment their lips touched, she immediately pulled back, but his arms wrapped around her body and pressed her against his hard chest. His mouth claimed hers, and she was lost.
Jack’s body was pure heat, his arms iron vices holding her against him until she thought she would burn. His kiss was angry, demanding, and she could do nothing except let him have her in that moment, realizing all they missed out on because of her mistake. A mistake she could never fully admit to.
His heart pounded hard enough in his chest for her to feel its reverberations, his lips against hers saying what she knew he couldn’t. She clung to him, desperate to make him understand how sorry she was, but there wasn’t a way to make this work, and even as the kiss deepened to dangerous depths, she forced her mouth away, breathing heavily as she tried to find words.
“Jack… I can’t… I don’t know what we’re doing.”
“Does it matter?” His eyes searched her face as the rain fell harder around them, splattering the sidewalk and sending the people around them hurrying for cover. “Danny, I want you, right now, and I’m not going to watch you walk away again.”
“It’s not jus
t me, Jack. What about Jenna? I can’t expect you to be okay with this.”
“No, you can’t,” he admitted, and her heart sank. “But you can give me one night to try and understand what this is between us.”
“One night?” she repeated, debating with herself. Was this pent-up lust or something more?
He nodded, his gaze intensifying as his arms drew her closer. Not even air could fit between their bodies. “One night.”
“We can’t go back to my place,” she whispered, wondering where those words had come from. This was a bad idea and would only make it worse when he left her in the morning, but she couldn’t find the strength to pull herself from the arms she’d missed all those years. No one had touched her since Jack. And if she walked away from him, no one ever would.
“My hotel,” he said. “It’s not far. I’ll get us a cab.”
It was now or never. Turn around. She should turn around, but he hailed a cab and she got inside. Jack slid in behind her and told the driver to take them to the Ritz.
His hand held hers tightly the entire ride, massaging her palm, and Danny’s mind was thrust back to the first night they’d spent together in the bed of his truck. Two teenagers in love, finding each other under a ceiling of stars as the night witnessed their souls opening. It had been the beginning of something beautiful and treasured, and it hadn’t faded. The same intensity burned deep within Danny, and the longer she stayed near Jack, the more she knew it consumed him just as strongly.
All this time, she assumed she’d been protecting him from something that would ruin his life. Never once had she stopped to think it would make his life better. By the time they reached the Ritz and she exited the cab, Danny was shredded inside with guilt and fear.
He took her hand and led her inside. For a brief moment, she was too stunned by the inside of the hotel to remember why they were there in the first place. “This is beautiful,” she breathed, staring up at the old architecture and chandeliers lighting the lobby. The floors were marble, and her heels clicked loudly against them. When her gaze returned to Jack, she stilled.