I felt her heartbeat beneath my hands, weak and thready as it struggled to pump blood to the rest of her organs. Thrusting my magic into her, I imagined her heartbeat strong, strong enough to do its job. Tracey’s hex magic pushed back at me, and I could see it inside my mom’s body, its tendrils like that of a black vine that had well and truly wound its way around every inch of her.
I fought to crush the black tendrils, but every time I seemed to beat one back, two more popped up in its place. Her hand wrapped around mine and my eyes jerked open.
“Amber, it’s fine. I did this to protect you. I knew the risks; you can’t save me….” Her words choked off in another spasm of blood-tinged coughing that ended when she tried and failed to suck in a rattling breath.
If something didn’t change, she was going to suffocate.
“Not now, not like this,” I whispered to her before closing my eyes and driving my magic into her body.
The black tendrils recoiled before burning away completely beneath the power of my magic. Her heart continued to stutter along, its beat completely out of rhythm and sync with the rest of her body. This wasn’t supposed to happen; the hex was gone, so why did I have the feeling she was still dying?
Nic lifted her in his arms and carried her into the house. Her colour had improved, at least, but I’d felt her heartbeat; there had been no change in it. What wasn’t she telling me?
“Mom, what’s wrong?” I asked, kneeling next to her as Nic laid her out on the couch in the living room.
She smiled at me and shook her head. “You were always so determined; nobody could tell you anything because you always knew better.”
“None of that matters now—why are you still sick?” I didn’t want to ask the question but I was left with no choice.
“I’ve been sick for a while. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d try and fix me….” She trailed off, her gaze dipping to where her hands had begun tugging at a loose thread in her jumper.
“I—” I stopped. She was right, I would have tried to fix her, I still would….
“See, I know you, I know what you’re like…. You’re like him in that way. No matter what anyone else said, he would always try to help others. He wanted to save the world, or at least, the man I fell in love with wanted to save the world,” she said.
“What is it?” I asked, wrapping my hand around hers.
“Congestive heart failure….”
I shook my head. “I don’t understand. How can your heart just decide to fail?”
“I developed a bad pneumonia a year and a half ago. Put me in the hospital and weakened me so much that this…” She gestured to her body. “…is the result.”
“Why didn’t you tell me, then? Why not let me help, instead of suffering like this….”
“Because the last thing I want, Amber, is to hold you back. If I thought for one second that I had burdened you with any of this….” She sighed. “I’d much rather fight it myself. And anyway, you weren’t ever supposed to know.”
“What?”
She reached up and grabbed my hand, drawing it down to her. Her expression shifted, growing more than a little concerned. “Tracey was supposed to kill me here today and she would have if you hadn’t stepped in.”
“Yeah, I do that all the time,” I said.
“No, not like this. Amber, it’s the balance—it’s out of sync, you weren’t supposed to save me; you shouldn’t have had the power to break a hex and yet you did. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why, but something has changed….”
“Why would you say that? I’ve saved others before and the balance has always been just fine,” I said indignantly.
“Not this time; I saw it all. I witnessed my end, and it was at the hands of Tracey. Why do you think I had the wards set up in the first place? I wanted to buy you some time to get away from here, from her….”
I shook my head but I could hear the ring of truth in her words. Everything she said, she meant it. She was supposed to die. I’d known she had visions; it was how she’d known where to find me, but I hadn’t known she also had death visions. That was more than a little strange, and just as her gifts as had been rare when she was a witch, it, too, was extremely rare.
“You should have told me. I could have put a stop to all of this before it even got to this point,” I said, anger beginning to heat my blood.
I shouldn’t have been angry at her; she’d been trying to protect me, but it had still been a sort of warped suicide mission no matter which way you tried to cut it, and that just wasn’t all right.
Pushing up from the couch, her hand grabbed at mine once more but I untangled myself from her hold. “Amber, please, I was doing this for you…. If Tracey had killed me, then he wouldn’t still be looking for you.”
I froze and glanced down at her.
“He who?” But her eyes were beginning to shut as her breathing deepened. It had been too much for her; she had done too much.
Using my magic, I felt along the edges of her essence and choked back tears. She had done way too much; the spirit she carried within was almost entirely gone. Just as she had been with the hex tendrils wrapped around her body, every moment that ticked by simply brought her closer to the end.
Moving away from the couch, I headed for the kitchen and Nic caught my arm, drawing me out into the hall.
“How is she?” he asked, darting a glance in her direction before returning his gaze to the floor.
“She’s dying. She’s known all along that she was dying and she didn’t tell me because she was worried I would interfere with the balance….” There was a bitterness in my voice that only made my throat close up.
I didn’t want to be angry with her, but how could I not?
“She was looking out for you,” he said, and his words brought my anger to the surface.
“I don’t need anyone to look out for me. I don’t need to be protected. Why does everyone assume I’m this fragile, pathetic creature who always needs someone to rush into the rescue?” My anger wasn’t really for my mother’s behaviour anymore. Everyone I held dear kept secrets and ran off half-cocked to “fix” things they thought I couldn’t handle or deal with myself, and I was so done with it.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nic’s anger rushed forth to meet mine.
“You know exactly what I mean,” I said quietly.
“You think I chose this?”
“Well, didn’t you? From where I’m standing, it looks exactly like you chose it.”
Nic’s face grew pale with anger as he balled his hands into fists. “I did this because I needed to find a way to help you, to save you…” he said.
“I didn’t need saving! I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself!” I said, my voice reaching fever pitch.
“You run around getting into trouble you’re not fit to fight through. You constantly put your life on the line, involving yourself in situations where you shouldn’t be. Reckless, stupid behaviour that more often than not ends with you seriously hurt … and you stand there and tell me you didn’t need help, that you’re fit to save yourself?”
His words stung and my hand whipped out, his cheek taking on the sharp, stinging, red shape of my palm as it connected with his face.
“I do my job the only way I know how,” I said.
“You’re a rash fool, Amber, and God help me, but I think I’m in love with you—but watching you repeatedly almost self-destruct is too much. You have no idea what it’s like to stand helplessly by and watch that monster take you, all the while knowing there is nothing I can do to save you. I thought if I was stronger, if I had power, then maybe I wouldn’t be some pathetic human left on the side-lines to watch you die.”
I sucked in a deep breath. He’d done it for me, because he’d fallen for me.
“Nic, there is nothing pathetic about you … you were never powerless, always brave, and you fought like no one else I knew….” I trailed off because I could see from the expression
in his eyes that he didn’t believe a word I was saying to him.
How was I supposed to convince him of something I didn’t fully understand myself?
“I…” I opened my mouth to speak, but Nic silenced me. His body crashed into mine, pushing me against the wall, his grip punishing as his mouth came down on mine.
The scent that was uniquely his, fresh mint and salt, washed over my senses as the violence of his kiss stole my breath. Cupping my face, he pulled away, and I was happy to note that his breathing was just as ragged as mine.
“I can’t lose you,” he said.
“You won’t….” The moment the words left my mouth, Nic’s face started to shut down and he jerked away from me as though I’d burned him.
He headed for the door, leaving me to stare after him.
Chapter 31
Pressing my fingers to my lips, I could still feel the tingle of his kiss. His mood swings were going to give me whiplash and I still hadn’t figured out how I was even supposed to interpret them all yet.
When he slammed the door, the entire house shook and I jumped. He’d done this because of me, he’d turned himself into a monster because he loved me…. It didn’t make any sense, and yet I knew what he was saying because I’d have done the same for him.
It was a sobering thought and I took a trembling step back into the living room. Mom’s eyes were still shut and the gentle rise and fall of her chest told me her sleep was a deep one.
Dropping into one of the chairs next to the couch, I sucked in a deep breath and closed my own eyes. Everything was a mess, and the harder I tried to dig my way out, the bigger the hole seemed to grow.
I didn’t fight sleep as it washed over me; it wasn’t as though I had anything better to do while I waited for mom to come back around again.
“Amber!” A voice called to me and my eyes popped open, the darkness in the living room momentarily disorientating me. Dropping to the floor, I crawled toward mom’s side. Her chest still rose and fell, but from what I could tell she hadn’t moved an inch, her face peaceful as she continued to slumber.
“Amber!” My heart hammered in my throat and I climbed to my feet. Nic had left, so why was he calling me?
Following the general direction of his voice, I pulled open the front door and stepped outside into the dark. There was no sign of him, but the air was far too still, almost as though the world itself was holding its breath … waiting….
“Amber!” he called again, but he sounded further away and I took another step outside.
“Nic, where are you?” I called out into the night, but my voice just echoed around in the dark before returning as though to mock me.
Crossing the garden, I paused next to the gate that led into the wide open paddock beside the house. I’d come here as a child, running and racing through the long grass in the summer. It had been one of my favourite places to be.
“Amber.” The voice came from behind me and it wasn’t Nic’s.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention as the sound of the first growl rolled over me. Turning, I came face to face with Fionn, his face a contorted mask of rage, and it was then I noticed the wounds; instead of his usual impeccable, if a little flamboyant, attire, now his clothes were ripped, his body covered in varying sizes of cuts, one side of his face an unhealthy shade of blue in the pale moonlight.
“I see you met Victoria and Darcey,” I said, pushing aside the panic. If he was here, then where the hell were they?
“Meddling bitches. They tried to take the Hunt from me,” he said indignantly.
“But they didn’t succeed?” I asked, staring at the three Heart Hounds glaring at me, their red eyes glowing in the darkness.
“This is all I’m left with…” he said, staring pitifully down at the hounds gathered around him.
“Where are the rest?”
“Sleeping…” he said, before trailing off to stare into the middle distance. “They didn’t even fight to stay with me; they’re like my children and they didn’t want to stay with me.”
“Maybe because the child you did have, you used the Hunt to murder her.” I spat the words out, as I remembered the look on the girl’s face from my vision; the terror in her eyes, the plea in her voice.
“She was a LIAR!” he roared, the hounds growing restless at his feet, their whines sending a trickle of fear down my spine.
“No, she wasn’t,” I said. I hadn’t worked out the details, but the more I thought about it all, the more I knew he’d been triggered somehow, and if his daughter hadn’t lied, then something else had set him off. If I could figure it all out, then perhaps I could use it against him. “She was innocent and you were set up. Someone used the Hunt against you,” I said.
Fionn simply shook his head and scrubbed his bloodied hands across his face. “That’s not possible. The Hunt is mine; no one can touch it, no one can control it….”
“That’s not entirely true though, is it? Those who have righteousness on their side can call the Hunt. If I were to call the Hunt, would it come?”
Fionn lifted his gaze to me, his cold eyes meeting mine, and I could see fear lurking beneath the surface. “What reason would you have for calling the Hunt?”
“To avenge your daughter. You murdered her. Cold blooded murder.”
“She lied!”
“No, you were set-up, made to believe she lied, but she didn’t….”
Fionn’s mouth opened and closed and I could practically see the cogs in his brain turning slowly as he contemplated what I was saying to him. His expression hardened, closing down and hiding his true thoughts from me as he drew himself up to his full height.
“You lie, too, and while you’re not Fae and not subject to our laws, as soon as I make you mine, I’ll be forced to cut that lying tongue from your mouth for your own protection…” he said.
“That’s never going to happen. We’re not in Faerie anymore and you have no power over me.”
Are you so sure? His voice whispered through my mind and I felt the beginning of his magic scratching through me, except this time it was more like a familiar friend, one my magic didn’t want to fight.
“What did you do?” I gritted through my teeth as I fought to push him out of my head.
“Sealed it with a kiss, remember?”
I did remember. The taste of him had made me sick, the raw meat fresh on his breath turning my stomach, and even now, simply remembering was enough to roll my stomach.
“Amber?” My mother’s voice cut through the conversation with Fionn and I glanced past him to see her wavering in the doorway.
“Get back inside and lock the door,” I said, panic momentarily giving me the power to slap back Fionn’s magic as he sought to weave it through my own. There was no way I was going to be bound by some creepy-as-all-get-out Fae. And I definitely wasn’t going to be his magical battery or prize cow.
“How sweet that your mother should get to see her only child married…” he said, turning back toward the house. “Come,” he said, his voice resonating with power.
She hesitated and I pushed my power into her wards, making them stronger, but it was too late. She took one step and then another, the fear in her eyes sending me over the edge.
The moment Fionn’s hand closed around hers, I felt his magic thrust back against mine hard enough to steal my breath.
“Do as you’re told or she dies…” he said, lovingly caressing the side of her face.
She shook her head slowly and it dawned on me, then; the fear I’d seen in her eyes had not been because she was afraid of Fionn. He had no power over her. Why he had no power over her but he had power over me was beyond me; it shouldn’t have been possible, but I could see the truth in her eyes as she stared at me.
She turned in his arms, then, something small in her grip, and she thrust it into his centre. Fionn’s gleeful expression shifted to one of pure agony and he back-handed her, sending her crashing against the side of the house.
Her
body hit the wall as though she’d been nothing but a rag doll and a confusing mixture of pain and fear washed through me.
Fionn pulled the small, smoking iron blade from the place just beneath his ribs, his eyes growing dark as he met my gaze. “Kill her!” he commanded, and for a second, I thought he’d spoken to the dogs.
KILL HER! his voice screamed in my head, and my legs obeyed without needing input from my brain, carrying me forward to the knife he’d dropped in the grass.
Scooping it up, I turned to the fallen body of my mom. Her mouth opened and closed much like a goldfish might. She was dying. Really honest-to-god dying; everything she’d done, she’d done to save me.
What was I thinking?
The blade was still slippery with Fionn’s blood when I turned back to face him.
“I said kill her. I want you to carve her heart from her chest,” he bellowed.
His words had no effect on me, washing over me the way a wave crashes across a rock in the sea.
“No,” I said, keeping my voice deliberately low.
“What do you mean ‘no’? Do as you’re told,” he said, his voice a pathetic mix of confusion and pain.
Advancing toward him, I lifted the blade in my hand, hefting its weight as I prepared to strike. Something from the dark recess of my mind urged me on, begging me to end his life as he had wanted me to murder my mother.
“Amber, don’t do it!” someone called to me, but the voice in the back of my head was louder.
Someone grabbed my arm and jerked me around to face them. Darcey stared down at me, a long and bloodied cut running from the corner of her temple all the way down to her chin. Her clothes were ragged and bloodied, but other than the couple of bruises that seemed to be healing as I stared at them, she seemed fine.
“Don’t kill him. He needs to be brought back to Faerie to face charges,” she said, her voice firm and determined. Victoria stood behind her, looking more than a little grey; the only colour she had was the blood that covered her shirt and half her face.
“He needs to die for the pain he’s inflicted, for those who lost their lives at his hands,” I said, watching him over her shoulder.
Wild Hunt Page 18